JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

There are a lot of things that anyone would consider to be common knowledge. Some examples include such obvious things as the sun being hot or Britney Spears next album sucking. Another one of these things that is considered fact by all but the retarded, is that smoking is bad for you. Wait. That kind of came across wrong. While all smoking is retarded, I’m sure that all retarded people aren’t smokers. What I’m saying is that we all know smoking is harmful. We’re all aware. If you do still smoke you have to know that coughing all the time and being berated by a group of well meaning hippies wearing ‘Truth’ t-shirts isn’t normal, so you should probably quit, not while you’re ahead, but rather while you’re still alive. I say this because I recently quit after smoking on and off since I was a teenager.

I was raised in a smoke and alcohol free home thanks in whole to my father having been raised by alcoholic chimneys and his not wanting to be anything like them. I am positive that was his motivation because having only met my grandmother on that side of the family once was enough for me to not want to resemble anything like what she was. I remember the awkward encounter all too well. I was seven and the crinkled old woman, who looked like Yoda and smelled like a bowling alley washed in gin, thought it would be nice to give me a gift. What type of ‘grandmotherly gift’ was bestowed me that day? Perhaps something that might be considered an heirloom of some sort? Why nothing so grandiose befit me that fine day! Rather, this woman gave me an ashtray. Lucky for my dad that he married up.

Not to single out my father’s side of the family, I had plenty of relatives on my mom’s side that smoked too, only I was never privy to their nicotine intake. I was told my grandfather on my mom’s side smoked like a chimney but he quit before I was born. I heard he quit by simply chewing Chiclets. I think his also having a massive heart attack prior to his Chiclet consumption tripling may have helped with the whole ‘not smoking’ thing too.

Neither of my parents smoked. Well they didn’t smoke cigarettes. They were both rabid crack users. (I just put that in there to see if my mom actually reads what I write. I doubt it though.)Seeing as how I did not smoke because of constant exposure to it, I can say that I honestly started smoking for the same reason I’m quitting. Peer pressure and early death.

I had my first cigarette about two weeks after my dad died. He had died on Thanksgiving so that kind of ruined turkey for me. Not so much because of the connotation that his death now has to Thanksgiving but rather because we ate him. Dad was kind of dry. Also, I use humor to deflate possibly depressing situations, in case you couldn’t tell.

After my dad’s death I stayed a while at my friend Mike’s house. He was my best/only friend at the time. When you are home schooled your friend options are limited to either other socially retarded kids your own age or the living room lamp. I opted for an equally socially retarded teenager as the lamp and I had stopped talking since that argument we got into over which girl on Little House on the Prairie was hotter.

About a week after the funeral, Mike came to pick me up, and in an act of depression, I told him I wanted to try smoking. Now I had sworn off smoking despite many people my age that I knew personally who smoked. Just a little side note here. If home school parents had any idea what their kids do when they aren’t around, home schooling would probably end real quick. The worst thing I ever did was smoke, which as far as youthful indiscretions go, is pretty tame. I knew tons of home school kids who drank like there was no tomorrow and practiced premarital activities in a church during Christmas banquets. It’s not that home schooled kids are better than anyone else, they’re just better at manipulation. For proof of that try to remember that home school kids usually end up as pastors or deacons in their church.

Moving on.

We stopped at a gas station and Mike bought some Camel Wides from the employee, who he knew. Mike was underage at the time so his cigarette hook up was a good thing. Remember kids, it’s good to have a cigarette hook up when you’re a budding smoker. We drove back to Mike’s parent’s house, which was located in the sticks, though in Oklahoma you’d be hard pressed to find anywhere that isn’t fifteen minutes from your house that isn’t considered the sticks. We walked out to a field near his house and Mike, being experienced with his having smoked for all of a year at that point, showed me how to light up and take a drag. Now for all of you non-smokers out there, a drag from a Camel Wide is the cigarette equivalent to a shot of cheap whisky. If you don’t drink, a shot of cheap whiskey is like drinking kerosene. If you’ve never drunk kerosene then your parents were way better than mine were at locking up the chemicals they keep in the garage. What I’m saying is that a drag off a Camel Wide is pretty strong.

People who have never smoked need to know that when one takes a drag off of a cigarette, they also take in some air with it so as not to pass out. I did not know this at the time. I remember it felt like I was burnt by an iron, only on the inside of my lungs. I coughed like I had Tuberculosis and stumbled forward. I thought I was going to pass out in a haze of depression with my friend’s uproarious laughter ringing in my ears. “You know you’re supposed to inhale air too right?” Mike said in between laughs. I coughed “No! How the *COUGH* was I supposed to know that?!” I tried again because no one likes to be laughed at without their permission. With each progressive drag it became easier but was still not appealing. I guess I just kept trying to smoke because I figured if my dad was dead, then who would really care what I did? I guess since my dad was 39 I kind of felt doomed to die an early death so why not try smoking. That’s as bold and self destructive as I got though. I’m kind of a wuss like that I suppose. I will tell you that smoking after my dad died is way better and somehow less obnoxious than had I sat down and written a bunch of second rate angst riddled poetry fit for no one but the pretentious and the stupid, between which there is a fine line.

So you could say that while I started smoking because I had friends who smoked and my dad having died young, I am quitting for almost the same reasons. I have friends who need to stop smoking but won’t, so maybe I’ll be an example. These are friends with things to live for like spouses and kids but they still smoke. I’m not saying that smoking is indicative of one’s parenting skills but rather I know how horrible it can be to have a parent die at a pretty young age. I would hate to lose a friend but I would hate worse for my friend’s kids to grow up without one of their parents. I mean if my loser ass can quit smoking, and I have no real validation of a life lived well, the least people with something to actually live for can do is try to stop doing things that directly hinder one’s living.

Also, cigarettes are super expensive and that’s money you could be spending on buying me an 80GB iPod for Christmas. I’m just saying.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Strange Apparitions by Beck off of The Information - Beck is one of the most prolific artists working in music today which is way better than being antilific.

MOVIE - JAWS - Because any movie that can scare my mom into locking the windows in a home she lived in,in Oklahoma, for fear of a shark attack has got to be good.

- Joel David

www.myspace.com/joeldavidd
www.chkona.com

Today is known by retailers as ‘Black Friday’. You don’t want even want to know what Michael Richards calls it. Black Friday is the day where shops open up early and sell some of their goods and wares for a discounted price. Actually, it isn’t as quaint as all that. In reality the day after Thanksgiving is an orgy of violent bargain hunting by soccer moms with a blood lust rivaled by even the fiercest of creatures. For this reason I typically don’t go to any establishment that sells anything on this day. “But Joel, it is a great day to get bargains on Christmas gifts!” That might be the case but that is one of the many reasons I don’t understand why today is so important as far as shopping is concerned.

The stores are not selling necessary items at a discounted price. I mean if milk was a nickel or bread was a penny or something I would maybe understand why people turn into lunatics on days like today, but I just don’t. “Look! I picked up Glitter on DVD for a buck and I bought a computer monitor I don’t need!” Why? It seems like days like today are nothing more then a planned battle to see who can get the most stuff for the least amount of money. That’s cool for some I guess. I just choose not to stand in line for twelve hours for dollar socks.

My stance on this is rooted in my view of the way corporations treat their employees. I feel bad for anyone who has to be at work at such an early time of day the day after a holiday. I understand early hours if you are in a potentially life saving field of work such as law enforcement or firefighting. However, and nothing personal, but the world isn’t going to come to an end if the girl who runs the register at Target isn’t there at four in the morning. Besides, I seriously doubt that any of the top executives of any major store was up at four this morning which is why I feel the hypocrisy involved in a corporation subjugating it’s underpaid employees around the holidays is another good reason to not shop on days like today.

This is why I am proposing something different for next year. We need to drop the unhealthy habit of converging on stores like a group of freaks the days after Thanksgiving and Christmas. First of all, next year, I propose not going to ANY store that is open on a major holiday. If you didn’t plan ahead in getting enough Redi-Whip then so be it. You’ll just have to choke down that pumpkin pie somehow. I’m not talking about boycotting the establishment all together, but rather just on the holiday. If no one shops at a store on a holiday then there isn’t a need for that store to be open on that holiday and maybe the people who work for five bucks an hour can spend their holiday with their family instead of having to ring up items we may have been too forgetful to pick up the first time around.

While that first part was geared more towards consumers and the criminally forgetful among us, this next part is for the employees. If you work at any major chain of department stores and that chain tells you that it is mandatory you show up to work the day after a holiday just to ring up or stock crap people really don’t need in the first place, don’t show up for work. Get all of your equally disgruntled buddies together and stand up for yourselves. I know you need your job. I know that it is hard to find work but Wal-Mart isn’t going to fire an entire store full of employees.

Almost a year ago a friend of mine and I went to a local establishment that shall remain nameless to watch the Super Bowl. I didn’t want to go as I don’t like football or football fans, but I went nonetheless. The place we went to was packed. Our waiter was really cool but was clearly frustrated. I found out that his frustration was caused by his having to be there. He had apparently already worked six days that week and was having a welcome home party for his buddy who had just gotten back from Iraq. He had asked for that day off months in advance. He told my friend and I that the previous night his manager called him and told him if he didn’t show up for work he would be fired. The manager had told everyone that. I wish that none of the staff would have showed up. This restaurant would have had to have closed that day. I told our waiter and he said that three girls had come in and quit that day. Good for them.

So next year remember, as a consumer, to not go in and buy anything from a store on a holiday. The least you can do is make it easy on the kid who bags your groceries by not making him bag your groceries on a holiday. I would recommend that no one shops the day after Christmas or Thanksgiving but that is where the employees come in. If all of them don’t go to work those days, then consumers won’t have a choice other than not shopping. Looks like you’ll be forced to pay regular price for a printer next year.

The people who work for less then they are worth would be thankful.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Daydreams by Lupe Fiasco and Jill Scott - This song has been stuck in my mind for a week or so but not in a bad way like a Vanilla Ice song or a knife.

MOVIE - The Color Purple - One of my all time favorite movies. I might be poor, black and ugly but I’m here. Well, I’m not black but you get the point.

- Joel David

www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd

I think that celebrity worship is among one of the most inane things one can do. I understand admiration for a celebrity’s work but to constantly have to hear about what Tom Cruise is doing or where he is, has no bearing on anything at all. I mean, unless he is behind me with a knife getting ready to stab me, I could care less where he might be. Having established that, I am now going to talk about a couple of celebrity related incidents that actually are kind of relevant because they represent things that are a lot bigger than the situations they actually are. I am talking of course about Katie Holmes wedding dress and who was at the wedding of the century! Not really.

Earlier this week Michael Richards, the comedian who played Kramer on Seinfeld, was on stage at a comedy club and unleashed a torrent of racial epithets that hasn’t been heard since Roots, or that time my Uncle Phil drank too much. This was apparently in response to some guys having heckled him while he was doing his act. There are a couple of things that I want to address about this.

I have done standup and have been heckled. Anyone who has done standup has been heckled at some point. It is inevitable because stupid people breed and apparently like to converge on comedy clubs. Heckling is infuriating because you are on stage trying to be funny and someone in the crowd thinks that either A) They are funnier than you or B ) Everyone else in the room wants to hear their conversation, neither of which is ever true, unless you’re name is Carrot Top. The common thread among hecklers is their lack of consideration. I’ve been heckled by dumb rednecks and shallow sorority girls and the only thing they had in common was their selfishness. Heckling isn’t funny and it just makes you come across as a moron.

If you’re on stage and you do get heckled you have to make sure to never lose control of the room by screaming and yelling at the person or people who heckled you. That’s what they want. They want to be part of the show because they clearly don’t have the talent to be truly funny which is why they resort to cracking ‘wise’ in a room full of people who could care less about anything that isn’t taking place on stage. If it does get to the point where you have to respond, it is best to not take the racist route. Perhaps this is too little too late for a one Mr. Michael Richards.

I get being angry about being heckled. I get being so angry you have to cuss someone out and crack on them in a public setting. People bring it on themselves in that type of situation. Did Michael Richards have a right to get angry? Yes. Did he have a right to yell at the hecklers? Yep. Did he have a right to call them what he did? As much as it may pain me to say it, yes. I disagree with a lot of things that a lot of people say. That covers things said by some of the most powerful people in the country to inbred Klansmen, but I have to recognize their inalienable right to say it. I’m not saying that Richards is a racist, because I honestly don’t know if he is or not. His argument for his not being a racist isn’t fairing too well at the moment however. I do think he pushed it and I do think that what he said was horrible, but the same freedom that allows me to say the president is inept or racism is stupid or Klansmen are all inbred paint huffing morons, allows him to say what he did.

There is talk now that the people he heckled are going to file a lawsuit because of getting picked on. Ok, look. I don’t care what your color, if you can start suing for getting insulted at a comedy club, we’re all screwed. Yes this was a lot more than pointing out a bad shirt or someone’s horrible haircut, but who draws that line? I agree that Richards pushed it. I agree that he should apologize and perhaps even donate some money to an African American charity as a goodwill gesture but to have to pay someone for insulting them will set an unhealthy precedent for things said in a public setting. If someone can sue over spoken words, then who is to keep someone from suing a black comedian for cracking on white people, no matter how true it might be? What if all women wanted to start suing Snoop because he says ‘ho’? It is a slippery slope that leads into a pit of stupidity that will end up rivaling the stupidity exercised by Richards the night of his tirade.

The other thing this week that is a bit disconcerting is the so called battle of the Lady Hosts! So called because I just called it that. Earlier this week Clay Aiken was filling in for Regis Philbin as co-host of Live with Regis and Kelly. At one point Clay put his hand over Kelly Ripa’s mouth and she later remarked that she thought that was rude and besides the etiquette factor involved, she didn’t know where his hand had been. This caused Rosie O’Donell, co-gossip on The View, to call Kelly Ripa homophobic and that she said Ripa would have never said what she had if it was a straight male that had put his hand over her mouth. This is an interesting thing to say seeing as how Aiken has yet to officially declare his sexuality to the world.

Clay Aiken’s sexuality is no one’s business but his and his boyfriend’s. Ok, that was wrong but Clay Aiken is gayer than Liberace’s wardrobe or a conservative Christian leader from Colorado. However, as he has not confirmed or denied it, we have to let it go at that. It is his business and his alone. The last thing he needs is for a friend of his to blab it on national television. “Thanks a lot ‘friend’ for outing me on television.”

Aside from this silly hand debacle, I would like to address how silly it is to be homophobic. I cannot think of a more inconsequential thing to be concerned with. I don’t understand how one’s body of work is somehow written off if they come out of the closet. We love to label I suppose. I say that because I know someone who is a huge Clay Aiken fan, but I know that if (when) he comes out of the closet, this person will immediately discount everything Aiken has done. Just because you like something that was done by a gay person doesn’t make you gay. If what you listened to determined who you are I would be a weird combination of Jay-Z and Ben Folds. I’d be some sort of brooding gangsta nerd. That might be alright actually.

The chosen ignorance of others is best left for another blog entry so we’ll go ahead and get back to what I was trying to say before I was sidetracked by logic.

I do not think for a moment that Kelly Ripa is homophobic. I think that Ripa would have said what she did to whomever put their hand on her mouth. I would have said that to someone if they put their hand on my mouth. I hate being touched by strangers, let alone strangers who just shook the hands of an audience full of strangers just as Aiken had prior to his hand muzzling The Rip. That’s my nickname for Kelly Ripa.

I get defending your friend if you think they’ve been wronged. Good job Rosie. I don’t get the jump in logic from an off handed statement about one putting their hand on you to one being homophobic. Let’s go ahead and slow down before throwing that label out there so quickly. I mean it’s not like The Rip was on stage screaming at a table full of gay guys.

That’s Michael Richard’s job apparently.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Trouble by Jay-Z off of Kingdom Come. It’s not as good as the Black Album but few things are. And no, I didn’t forget about pumpkin pie.

MOVIE - Cinderella Man - I haven’t finished watching it, but so far it’s good.

- Joel David

www.myspace.com/joeldavidd
www.chkona.com

For every type of musical style there are a couple of groups or artists that are the best in their genre. Jay-Z, and Eminem are the best rappers. Led Zeppelin is the best rock group and the Beatles pretty much trump almost everyone in music. While ‘heavy metal’ is not my favorite type of music, I can appreciate it. I know that Metallica is good. I know they are the best heavy metal band to have ever existed. What I don’t understand is when they became a bunch of whiny girls.

The Metallica documentary ‘Some Kind of Monster’ has been airing on VH1 Classic recently and if you haven’t seen it, watch it. While some people say it is an interesting look into the inner workings of one of the greatest bands of all time, I think it is one of the funniest movies ever made. The movie gives no insight into the band’s genius but rather an insight into what it’s like when a bunch of middle aged egomaniacs concerned with little more than themselves try to make an album.

The movie is interesting for all the wrong reasons. It follows the band on the ‘journey’ they take to complete the album St. Anger. It starts right before lead singer James Hetfield goes to rehab for his alcoholism. There is a bit of footage of his meltdown, but it’s what follows that is truly riveting. You get to see one of the hardest rocking bands in the world turn into a sewing circle of emotionally fragile and wussified middle aged guys. They argue over almost everything and then sit down and talk about it with an overpaid therapist who himself ended up getting delusions of grandeur during the process and felt that he was becoming part of the band. The band remedied that by firing him so that was kind of rocking, but not really the kind of debauchery one would expect from the guys who made And Justice For All.

Now I’m not saying that we don’t all have problems, but most of us aren’t given the option of having our meltdowns filmed. For that, I’m glad Metallica did what they did in allowing the world to see that they are human just like everyone else. Well, humans with millions of dollars and not a care in the world other than making music, but humans nonetheless.

I am not bashing Metallica nor do I like their music any less. They still rock and rock and rock well. I guess what I am disappointed in is the self serving nature of filming something like they did. It served as less a testament to a band’s genius and more a tale of egomaniacal skirmishes amongst friends who seem to no longer be friends but rather some guys who are forced to work together because of their limited career choice. There isn’t significant turnover in a rock band so you’re pretty much stuck working with the same group of people until a bus mishap or one of them sets off to pursue less successful endeavors.

I also don’t want to come across as an alpha male who thinks that it’s wrong for a guy to be in touch with his emotions. I’ve cried at movies and even a commercial or two. I’m a wuss but I also don’t put up this front of being a hard rocking heavy metal singer and then turn around and whine to my therapist about how hard life is because the other guys just don’t get me. “It’s so rough being a rock star. I have everything that I could want. I have a wife and kids and good friends but sometimes I just don’t think that people like me and since I can’t drown my sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels anymore I’ll just go ahead and let a film crew film me going through the ‘healing’ process.”

Moving on.

I really need to get out more, or at all for that matter. I have been stuck in my house for a little over three months. This is getting ridiculous. I was told by my doctor that this infection pretty much has to run it’s course so that means numerous surgeries could be in my future. I’ve had nine so far. That’s awesome. No. Really. If this goes into double digits I’m gonna be….well I dunno. I’m pretty weak as it is so I guess there’s not much I can do.

I haven’t got much more to say. Sorry literate bored people who stumbled upon this blog.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Enter Sandman by Metallica - How could I not recommend a song by the hardest rocking band ever? Albeit a hard rocking band with a heart of gold and massive egos but a hard rocking band nonetheless.

MOVIE - The Empire Strikes Back - It is like the movie version of Metallica only with less whining, less alcoholism and less hair. Well, that is barring any Wookie hair of course.

- Joel David

www.myspace.com/joeldavidd
www.chkona.com

- Joel David

For those one of you who have a Joel surgery office pool going, if you picked eight, you lose! I will be having surgery again later today at noon! That makes for nine! That was Ted William’s number so maybe that’s significant. I doubt it though.

In case you’re just tuning in, the surgeries are a result of a mysterious staph infection I have. I was supposed to see a specialist in MRSA, which is what I have. He fell ill and ended up cancelling my appointment. He returned to the office and had begun to reschedule his appointments, only for his father to pass away unexpectedly thus bringing about his quitting his practice for three months. I have an appointment with his partner this Thursday so hopefully that will bring about an end to this ‘wonderful’ affliction.

This is gonna be pretty random today.

Whenever someone is logged onto My Space they can see bulletins that friends in their friends list have posted. Usually they are funny little surveys or announcements for upcoming social events. However, someone posted one this morning that upped my dander. Someone posted a bulletin that compared certain historical events involving former presidents and wars. This was a bulletin that did not hide the fact it was trying to defend President Bush. The bulletin spoke of how many deaths WWII brought about and mistakes other presidents have made in an attempt to downplay the horrible decisions this current administration has made. The naivety of the nature of this bulletin was what struck me. I don’t see how it is possible to defend someone by pointing out what someone else did. “Well your honor I don’t feel my client is THAT guilty. I mean, sure, he committed murder, but unlike a one Jeffrey Dahmer, he didn’t EAT his victim. See. He’s not THAT bad.” That ‘logic’ is incomprehensible to me.

Speaking of incomprehensible logic, I read an article the other day that states the Oklahoma League for the Blind and the Oklahoma Centennial Commission have teamed up to provide braille plaques at various centennial projects across the city. Isn’t that rubbing it in? I mean a plaque that pretty much states to the blind “Here’s what you’d be seeing if you could see! Enjoy!” You don’t tell someone who is deaf how good the Beatles are. “Oh man they are amazing! You really would want to hear this. Since you can’t aren’t you glad I’m describing this to you?!”

It’s late and I’m meandering. I’ll write later after I’ve returned from another great surgery.

Please tune in to TLC Wednesday night for Untold Stories of the ER. My good friend Rob Little will be playing a police officer who suffers a severe leg injury. It’ll so be worth it.

RIGHT NOW

MOVIE - Cars - Now I’m not into NASCAR but this movie was entertaining and funny. I know that sounds like a review written by a twelve year old, but see how well you type at three in the morning imaginary adversary who mocks my lame movie reviews!

SONG - The Heart of Life by John Mayer off of Continuum. This is a great song for that girlfriend I don’t have if she’s ever feeling depressed. It’s not my fault I best emote through other, more talented people’s work.

Holla!

- Joel David

www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd

To say that the health care system in this country is hideous is as much of an understatement as saying I’m a winner. If you don’t believe me just read on and enjoy the tale that follows dear reader. Or deer reader, depending on your species of course.

A few weeks ago I had to get a prescription for some pretty strong antibiotics filled. If not for my medical insurance, the pills I am taking would have cost me over $1800.00 for just 25 pills. When I discovered the non-benefit price, I was appalled. I mean I can understand pills costing one that much if they were made from ground up unicorn horn or leprechaun bones, but I’m pretty sure neither of those things is in the pills I’m having to take in an attempt to just get healthy. Aside from the cost issue I also had to endure another example of ineptitude concerning our drug laws.

When I went into the pharmacy to fill the antibiotic prescription I also had a pain pill refill I needed to get. I went to the pharmacy nearest my house. The woman at the pharmacy informed me that they did not have the antibiotics at that particular location but that she could call it in across town as that is where they were. The woman also said that she would go ahead and have them refill my pain pills too. I told her that was fine and made the trek across town.

Yesterday I went to the original pharmacy near my home to refill my pain pills as I am in what one might consider to be a significant amount of pain. It is a level somewhere between stubbing your toe and being burned alive. Somewhere in there. The woman at the pharmacy informed me that she could not refill them at that location but that the location across town could refill it. I asked her why that was, thinking that they may have been out. Nope. According to Oklahoma state law a transfer of a prescription for something that is considered to be a controlled substance can only be made once so they wouldn’t be able to transfer the pain pill prescription back to the location that is within walking distance of my house. She said that she would be able to refill the antibiotics at that location, but not the pain pills. She couldn’t understand why I thought that was ludicrous.

There was really no other point to that missive then to relay a very boring and uninteresting story that happened to me recently. That’s about it. Lucky you.

I would like to take this space and thank all of those who voted this last Tuesday. Thank you so much for bringing about what will hopefully be the change this country has long been overdue for. I hope we don’t blow it.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Hey Jude by The Beatles - If I have to even explain why I’m recommending a song by the greatest band of all time, then you’d best re-assess your personal music tastes chief.

MOVIE - Talk Radio - This is an amazing movie and contains one of the most impassioned monologues ever put on film.

- Joel David

www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd

Here is a link to a clip that needs to be seen by everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0RFDB1×9n8&eurl=

Enjoy.

- Joel

I am dating two girls at the same time and I want to propose marriage but am unsure of which girl I want to marry. Each of them is almost identical to the other. They both know that I want to marry one of them so in order to make my decision on who to marry a little easier, they are each given a chance to tell me why they think I should propose to them. The only problem is that instead of each of them pointing out what is good about themselves as an individual, they instead spend their time with me degrading and harassing the girl that isn’t them in the hopes that I will make a decision based not on how good they themselves might be, but rather on how bad a decision I would be making if I were to choose their rival. For anyone to make a decision about someone based solely on them NOT being someone else is ludicrous and ignorant. So, why is it that our political leaders expect us to do the same exact thing every election day?

Despite that being a pretty weak parable serving as a testament to one of one of the many faults in our political system, there is an element of truth to it. Not the me dating two girls part, though thanks for the assumption. I am talking about how almost every single political ad doesn’t tout that candidate’s individual accomplishments but rather the faults of that candidate’s opponent. Almost every political ad I see wants me to give my vote to the person that they aren’t as opposed to the person they are. “You don’t want to vote for my opponent because they are this thing you probably shouldn’t like. On November 7th vote for me because I’m not my opponent.” I don’t want to vote for someone because of things they don’t do. I don’t make any other decision in my life like that. I don’t listen to Ben Folds because he’s not Britney Spears. I want to vote for a candidate who will actually do something, which leads me to write about what I think the biggest fault of the Democratic party is.

Worst segue ever.

Understand that I am a proud Democrat. Sorry mom. I haven’t always been a Democrat though. I was a Republican because of my upbringing. I grew up in a very conservative and very Christian home. I was raised thinking a whole slew of things were evil that weren’t. When I got older I realized that most of it was pretty lame, but that is an entirely different therapy session. As I voted in every election I realized that I was voting for people who best reflected my views and it just so happened that those people were Democrats. While it doesn’t much matter what your affiliation is anymore, I still didn’t want my name on any list with the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly or George W. Bush.

As a Democrat I feel that the biggest problem that my party has is that they are using the same ‘hey at least we’re not that guy’ strategy. “Hey everyone! Look at how bad Bush is doing! Vote for us.” Well what will you do different? “Well, we uh, geez. Um, we’re not really sure but at least we’re not Bush!” While that is an excellent quality, I don’t think it’s a strong enough platform. There’s a better than good chance that I couldn’t get a job just because I’m not Hitler.

That having been said, I am still going to vote Democrat Tuesday because at this point I feel that anyone who still thinks that the war in Iraq was a good idea is displaying an ignorance that is appalling and I don’t hear the Republicans coming up with any good ideas for how to deal with it. Whenever I see a poll that states that a certain percentage of people in this nation are against the war, I am always surprised that the number isn’t 100%. Anyone with a modicum of common sense in their head has to know by this point that Bush is incompetent and this war is getting our soldiers killed for no reason. There are almost as many dead Americans as a result of the war that died on 9-11. It’s taken awhile but Bush is about to get Bin Laden numbers.

I know that it might seem that I’m some crazy left-wing Democrat with an idealistic world view. Perhaps all of what I have said is wrong. The thing about me saying that I might be wrong shows that at least I’m open to the possibility of my not being right. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about many things. I am however aware that people make mistakes. Mistakes are to be learned from and this war is a testament to the fact that this administration and the current majority party have not learned from their’s. People are dying at the cost of someone’s fear of a bruised ego.

I am not wanting to bash anyone for their beliefs, but rather ask people to examine why it is they believe what they do. Do you believe in something because it is the right thing for you or because someone on FOX news told you it’s the right thing for you? Do you make decisions based on fact or opinion? It is a fact that the war is wrong. It is an opinion that there shouldn’t be gay marriage or that abortion should be illegal.

This Tuesday when you vote, vote for the individual and not the party. Please remember to vote though. The least we can do is honor those in our military enough by exercising the right that soldiers before them died to protect for us.

No matter what your party affiliation, it is never right to allow people to die for nothing and by supporting people who endorse an action where that very thing is happening right now is an exercise in both callousness and ignorance.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - Jesusland by Ben Folds - I figure I should go ahead and encourage people to listen to a song about how people misconstrue the teachings of Jesus Christ for selfish purposes. I am batting a thousand with the Republicans right now. Sorry about that.

MOVIE - Wag the Dog - Watch this movie and try to not think about what is happening right now in the world.

- Joel David

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