I am moving in a couple of weeks. This was something that was planned well before the great infection of ‘06, which is what I will refer to this time period in my life when retelling it to James Lipton on what will prove to be the lowest rated Inside the Actor’s Studio ever. My moving is a good thing because I hate where I live now.
I moved into the complex I’m in now because I remember it being nice and it was SUPER cheap. That should have been a red flag. You get what you pay for I guess. Since I moved in I’ve had my car broken into and my stereo stolen, and then today I was given another reaffirmation as to why my moving is a good thing.
I own a washer and dryer but put them in storage because the place I’m in didn’t have a hook up. That was something I completely overlooked when I moved in and it proved to be regrettable because I am a laundry freak. I do more laundry than is necessary because I love having clean clothes. It’s just one of the many things that makes me a wuss. I also alphabetize my shoes, have to buy two of everything when I shop and I have to have blue toilet water. I can’t believe some girl hasn’t snatched me up yet.
I hobbled to the communal laundry room today with laundry, quarters and detergent in hand. I started my laundry and went back home. I am not one to stand vigil with my laundry in a locked laundry room because I assume that no one will screw with my laundry. I assume this despite my having had clothes stolen from an apartment laundry room on three different occasions. I’m stupid like that.
I started my laundry today and hobbled back home to lay on my couch. I can’t sit for too long as the most recent hole in my leg is about the size of a silver dollar and a centimeter deep. You’re welcome for that visual.
After about forty-five minutes I hobbled back to put my laundry in the dryer. There wasn’t anyone in there just like earlier when I originally started my laundry. I started the dryers and hobbled on back to wait for my laundry to get done.
I went back about an hour later to get my laundry. I opened up the dryer and took my clothes out. I love the smell of laundry fresh out of the dryer. I am real big on things smelling good. This time was different. When I opened up the dryer I pulled my sheets out and realized that it smelled ‘spearminty’. I could’ve sworn I didn’t get spearmint detergent because I always get Surf and such a thing doesn’t exist.
I hauled my laundry back to my house and started to fold my laundry. It was at this point I noticed someone had thrown their chewed gum into the dryer and re-started it. Few times will gum illicit such a string of profanity from an individual, but today was one of those times.
I’m not sure what kind of motivation one has for doing such a thing as that but more power to you I suppose. “How can I best screw with someone? I have gum in my mouth and there is a dryer. Hell, why not?”
I really can’t wait to get better because this story about gummy clothes bores me and it happened to me.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - I’m Really Hot by Missy Elliot - Because I am. Snap!
MOVIE - Jaws - My mom saw this movie with my dad when it first came out and when they came home my mom was so scared she locked all the windows and doors. The thing is she lived in Oklahoma at the time. From what I understand my dad had a pretty good laugh about that one.
HEALTH STATUS - I was recently asked if I’m in the hospital yet. I am not. Yet. At this point a hospital stay would almost be welcome if it was going to make me better.
- Joel David
www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd