As I have mere moments left to be cognitive of my surroundings due to my recent ingestion of pain pills and energy draining antibiotics, I’ll try to make this as un-obnoxious as possible.
I think that I might be a hopeless romantic. The problem is that I have no one to be romantic with. It’s a sordid history and since you didn’t ask, and I’m slowly getting pretty high off of these pills, I’ll tell you about a couple of things that make me think I’m romantic. I’m probably wrong though.
The last girl I dated was pretty much the one who confirmed every cynical thought about relationships I try desperately to this day not let effect me. I did what I thought were romantic things all the time for her. On one of our first dates she said that she didn’t like it when guys did things like buy flowers but expected something in return. After I dropped her off at her house, I knew she was going to her parents house so she would be gone, I went and bought a rose and left it on her door and a note that said “Just Because” so she would find that when she got home. She seemed to like that a lot.
Because we worked together and we were still in that nauseating first few months of a relationship where everyone around you knows that you’re in love, it got to be pretty cheesy. Cheesy to the point that someone mentioned it to her. She asked if I thought we were cheesy and I said that I thought so but that I didn’t have a problem with that. The next day I went to the store and bought a bunch of cheese and gift wrapped it and on the card I put “Because We’re Cheesy”. That made her cry. Not in a bad way either.
One night, when we’d been together for almost a year, she came home and I knew she was stressed because she was working full time and in class the rest of the time. I knew when she would be getting home so I lit a bunch of candles in her bathroom and had a bath ready for her with her favorite bubble bath. When she walked in the door she said she had so much to do. I took her books from her and told her to just forget about all of that and led her into the bathroom and told her that this was her time to relax. I had bought her roses and put those in near the bathtub, bought a book by her favorite author and had that in there along with her CD player with some relaxing music playing. I poured her a glass of wine and told her to just take a bath and relax. For one night I didn’t want her to worry about anything but relaxing. I had even gone and picked up dinner from her favorite restaurant. I left her alone and told her if she needed anything that I would be in the living room. It wasn’t any special night or anything, I did it just because I wanted to and I knew she was stressed.
I never stopped doing things for her that I thought were romantic but it got to the point where I knew she hated me so the motivation behind doing romantic things for her was in question. One Christmas I dropped quite a bit of scratch on gifts. She handed me a stack of CD’s and said “I didn’t put a lot of thought into this.” I don’t think that one should be romantic just to get something in return but when all you get is unprovoked evil, it makes it a bit difficult.
That relationship ended. Go figure. Since then I haven’t had an occasion to be romantic. That was over four years ago. I still smile though when I think of things I would do for someone if they were with me. I love to help my friends out with ideas for romantic things. It’s like I’m part of a fantasy football league for hopeless romantics.
My dad was not the most romantic of people, so I learned a lot from that. My mom told me when I was younger to make sure to never buy a woman something for her anniversary or birthday that is practical. She told me this after receiving the umpteenth hair dryer from him. This is apparently something that no one had ever told my dad.
I am constantly surprised when I hear about women, who are in relationships, complain about the lack of romance. However it seems that romance is dead because I know WAY too many women who are married or with someone but have no romance in their life. None. I don’t think that romance should be the basis for a relationship but it certainly is important. See, if you can stay romantic with someone that loves you, that is among the sweetest things ever. My grandparents were married for more than fifty years and I still remember my grandfather doing romantic things for her.
It doesn’t have to be grandiose either. Look guys, the littlest things in the world can mean the most to the person you’re with. It just has to be a gesture that lets the person you’re with know that you love them. Don’t expect anything in return either. I know it seems pretty gay and all but if she’s dating you the least you can do is wussy out a little bit and go buy flowers and candles or something. Mail her a letter. Leave a note in her car. Make a video. Gift wrap cheese. Be proof that romance isn’t dead.
Then again maybe I’m wrong about all of this.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - That Old Pair of Jeans by Fatboy Slim. A great song. You can listen to it on my My Space profile if you want. You could also be my friend. I need all the friends I can get so I can legitimize my booking the Ford Center for my funeral.
MOVIE - High Fidelity. Great movie. I know that’s not that deep of a review so sue me.
- Joel