I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written and that has been a blessing to people who accidentally stumble upon this. I’ve decided to write now while in one of the twenty minute windows I’m not totally wiped out from the medication I’m on for what is proving to be quite the serious infection.
Last week I had my second surgery in one week and was told I have a staph infection. They put me on some pills that upon taking make me feel like I’m twenty again. Not the twenty where my naive thoughts on life actually made me think I was going to do something with my life but more the twenty when I had mono for four months. I am completely drained. I’ll wake up and have a bit of energy and then I take one of the antibiotics and get my proverbial ass kicked. I feel even more useless than I normally do. Hey, at least I’m not dying. Yet.
When they told me I had a staph infection almost everyone I know freaked out a bit. I really had no idea a staph infection is as serious as it is. In some cases it can be fatal. That got me to thinking about my life up until this point. A time of regretful reflection ensued. I basically thought about all the missed opportunities and time wasted. I just felt emotionally exasperated. Is this really it for me? Probably not, because these pills seem to really be doing something to me. It just seems that up until this point has been so uneventful and meaningless. I hate to sound like a depressed twelve year old but that’s where I’m at right now. I am in no way under the impression that this is some sort of life ending situation, but I really got to thinking about what I would do if it was. What could I have done different, other than almost everything? How many people could I have helped? Could I have done more? It’s a weird feeling to maybe think that you’ve wasted it all.
So let’s not be down about this whole thing. Let’s talk about the benefits of narcotics induced mental cloudiness. I can’t stop my eyes from watering and I can’t stay awake for very long. I have weird dreams. I dreamt the other night that Jennifer Anitson worked at McDonalds. Poor Jennifer. I also dreamt I worked at a shipping port somewhere and my job was to pick up those huge metal containers that are the size of trucks and move them with my bare hands. That was kind of cool. Dangerous, but cool.
A lot of people have suggested many things to wipe out this infection. One of them suggested eating a lot of yogurt because it has Acidophilous in it which apparently eats away harmful bacteria in your body. Fruit on the bottom, anti-bacterial goodness on the top.
The other thing someone suggested was taking colloidal silver. It’s basically pure silver that when ingested has innumerous, but unproven, health benefits. It is supposed to help boost your immune system. From what I’ve found online it helps turn people blue. No lie. I don’t want to take something that makes me look like John Goodman’s and Violet Beauregard’s love child. I mentioned this to the person who suggested I take it. I mentioned that the FDA has not approved it and that there is no hard scientific evidence that this works at all. Of course I’m the crazy one in the situation. I was told that the government doesn’t approve things like that because it would put the drug companies out of business. I am as leery of the government as anyone on Earth but maybe ingesting pure silver isn’t the best thing to do. I’m just saying that I should maybe not listen to Tom Cruise when it comes to medicinal matters.
There are some things like some natural medicines that people claim work for which there is no way to really prove wihtout science that it works. I think that some natural cures are as effective as the door close button on an elevator. You can press it all you want but there is no way to prove that your repeatedly pressing the button resulted in the doors closing. I mean it can’t hurt but who’s to say it works? I also don’t want to pee bullets or accidentally find out I’m part werewolf. Man that would suck if the only thing taking silver proved was that I was a werewolf. That would explain the thick beard when the moon is full.
My freaking legs hurt again and the pills have kicked in. Off to bed I go. This sucks. Sorry to be a downer.
- Joel