I recently had surgery again for the same thing I’ve had surgery for three times previous. For some reason I get these very painful abscesses on my leg which have always resulted in surgery. The doctors cannot figure out what is wrong. I think it’s God’s way of telling me I need to do something with my life and get off my proverbial ass. Then again maybe God is telling me to get addicted to pain pills and go to rehab. That would be a first. Going to rehab BEFORE I do anything that afforded me the celebrity of a trip to rehab. I’m a far cry from beating a girlfriend while I’m in a morphine induced haze. It’s not that I wouldn’t I just don’t have a girlfriend.
That was a joke and you know it.
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I wrote that last paragraph last night and today had THE SAME EXACT SURGERY I had a week ago today. They are telling me it a serious staph infection. My mom about flipped out when I told her that as did some other people. I guess it can be deadly. They have me on some antibiotics for it so we’ll see.
I Googled Staph to see what exactly it is and a picture of the lead singer of Creed came up. I spelled Stapp and not Staph which is good because for a moment I thought I had the crummy former lead singer of Creed infecting me somehow, and I know there’s no cure for mediocrity of that sort. Thank God it was just an error in spelling.
When I found out that it is deadly it really didn’t freak me out. I mean if I’m dying, then so be it I guess. Honestly I really wouldn’t care. I haven’t lived a full life by anyone’s standards but I also haven’t had too bad a life either. I’ve been in love, I’ve won a comedy contest and I met Screech. That’s my whole life in a summation I guess.
If I was going to die I really don’t have a legacy and that’s my fault. I won’t be leaving behind any kids who will miss me, which is good for the imaginary children I have. No soul mate who will be sad if I’m gone. I will have left behind a hail damaged Honda, a laptop and quite the eclectic selection of DVD’s. Who else do you know that owns Citizen Cane and From Justin To Kelly?
I can’t write much because it hurts like a bastard when I sit. I’m currently not getting paid so if anyone wants to cut me a check for fifty grand, that would be great. That way I can get out of debt and then pursue the career I’ve talked about since I was a kid. Professional ninja/gigalo. A ninj-igalo if you will.
- Joel