JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

This may very well be the shortest entry in the history of this debacle known as my blog. A de-blog-ale if you will.

I was watching the Jay-Z documentary Fade To Black this weekend and was quite impressed with the success he has achieved. I think success is motivation coupled with talent and endless ambition. Jay Z is a person whose drive I wish I had. The man is a non stop force. Maybe I think that just because I got finished watching the movie, but you can’t deny he is an incredible force in entertainment.

What do any of you think makes for a successful individual? What makes one have a life worth living? Any comments might just help more than you may ever know.

- Joel

As I have mere moments left to be cognitive of my surroundings due to my recent ingestion of pain pills and energy draining antibiotics, I’ll try to make this as un-obnoxious as possible.

I think that I might be a hopeless romantic. The problem is that I have no one to be romantic with. It’s a sordid history and since you didn’t ask, and I’m slowly getting pretty high off of these pills, I’ll tell you about a couple of things that make me think I’m romantic. I’m probably wrong though.

The last girl I dated was pretty much the one who confirmed every cynical thought about relationships I try desperately to this day not let effect me. I did what I thought were romantic things all the time for her. On one of our first dates she said that she didn’t like it when guys did things like buy flowers but expected something in return. After I dropped her off at her house, I knew she was going to her parents house so she would be gone, I went and bought a rose and left it on her door and a note that said “Just Because” so she would find that when she got home. She seemed to like that a lot.

Because we worked together and we were still in that nauseating first few months of a relationship where everyone around you knows that you’re in love, it got to be pretty cheesy. Cheesy to the point that someone mentioned it to her. She asked if I thought we were cheesy and I said that I thought so but that I didn’t have a problem with that. The next day I went to the store and bought a bunch of cheese and gift wrapped it and on the card I put “Because We’re Cheesy”. That made her cry. Not in a bad way either.

One night, when we’d been together for almost a year, she came home and I knew she was stressed because she was working full time and in class the rest of the time. I knew when she would be getting home so I lit a bunch of candles in her bathroom and had a bath ready for her with her favorite bubble bath. When she walked in the door she said she had so much to do. I took her books from her and told her to just forget about all of that and led her into the bathroom and told her that this was her time to relax. I had bought her roses and put those in near the bathtub, bought a book by her favorite author and had that in there along with her CD player with some relaxing music playing. I poured her a glass of wine and told her to just take a bath and relax. For one night I didn’t want her to worry about anything but relaxing. I had even gone and picked up dinner from her favorite restaurant. I left her alone and told her if she needed anything that I would be in the living room. It wasn’t any special night or anything, I did it just because I wanted to and I knew she was stressed.

I never stopped doing things for her that I thought were romantic but it got to the point where I knew she hated me so the motivation behind doing romantic things for her was in question. One Christmas I dropped quite a bit of scratch on gifts. She handed me a stack of CD’s and said “I didn’t put a lot of thought into this.” I don’t think that one should be romantic just to get something in return but when all you get is unprovoked evil, it makes it a bit difficult.

That relationship ended. Go figure. Since then I haven’t had an occasion to be romantic. That was over four years ago. I still smile though when I think of things I would do for someone if they were with me. I love to help my friends out with ideas for romantic things. It’s like I’m part of a fantasy football league for hopeless romantics.

My dad was not the most romantic of people, so I learned a lot from that. My mom told me when I was younger to make sure to never buy a woman something for her anniversary or birthday that is practical. She told me this after receiving the umpteenth hair dryer from him. This is apparently something that no one had ever told my dad.

I am constantly surprised when I hear about women, who are in relationships, complain about the lack of romance. However it seems that romance is dead because I know WAY too many women who are married or with someone but have no romance in their life. None. I don’t think that romance should be the basis for a relationship but it certainly is important. See, if you can stay romantic with someone that loves you, that is among the sweetest things ever. My grandparents were married for more than fifty years and I still remember my grandfather doing romantic things for her.

It doesn’t have to be grandiose either. Look guys, the littlest things in the world can mean the most to the person you’re with. It just has to be a gesture that lets the person you’re with know that you love them. Don’t expect anything in return either. I know it seems pretty gay and all but if she’s dating you the least you can do is wussy out a little bit and go buy flowers and candles or something. Mail her a letter. Leave a note in her car. Make a video. Gift wrap cheese. Be proof that romance isn’t dead.

Then again maybe I’m wrong about all of this.

RIGHT NOW

SONG - That Old Pair of Jeans by Fatboy Slim. A great song. You can listen to it on my My Space profile if you want. You could also be my friend. I need all the friends I can get so I can legitimize my booking the Ford Center for my funeral.

MOVIE - High Fidelity. Great movie. I know that’s not that deep of a review so sue me.

- Joel

www.myspace.com/joeldavidd

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written and that has been a blessing to people who accidentally stumble upon this. I’ve decided to write now while in one of the twenty minute windows I’m not totally wiped out from the medication I’m on for what is proving to be quite the serious infection.

Last week I had my second surgery in one week and was told I have a staph infection. They put me on some pills that upon taking make me feel like I’m twenty again. Not the twenty where my naive thoughts on life actually made me think I was going to do something with my life but more the twenty when I had mono for four months. I am completely drained. I’ll wake up and have a bit of energy and then I take one of the antibiotics and get my proverbial ass kicked. I feel even more useless than I normally do. Hey, at least I’m not dying. Yet.

When they told me I had a staph infection almost everyone I know freaked out a bit. I really had no idea a staph infection is as serious as it is. In some cases it can be fatal. That got me to thinking about my life up until this point. A time of regretful reflection ensued. I basically thought about all the missed opportunities and time wasted. I just felt emotionally exasperated. Is this really it for me? Probably not, because these pills seem to really be doing something to me. It just seems that up until this point has been so uneventful and meaningless. I hate to sound like a depressed twelve year old but that’s where I’m at right now. I am in no way under the impression that this is some sort of life ending situation, but I really got to thinking about what I would do if it was. What could I have done different, other than almost everything? How many people could I have helped? Could I have done more? It’s a weird feeling to maybe think that you’ve wasted it all.

So let’s not be down about this whole thing. Let’s talk about the benefits of narcotics induced mental cloudiness. I can’t stop my eyes from watering and I can’t stay awake for very long. I have weird dreams. I dreamt the other night that Jennifer Anitson worked at McDonalds. Poor Jennifer. I also dreamt I worked at a shipping port somewhere and my job was to pick up those huge metal containers that are the size of trucks and move them with my bare hands. That was kind of cool. Dangerous, but cool.

A lot of people have suggested many things to wipe out this infection. One of them suggested eating a lot of yogurt because it has Acidophilous in it which apparently eats away harmful bacteria in your body. Fruit on the bottom, anti-bacterial goodness on the top.

The other thing someone suggested was taking colloidal silver. It’s basically pure silver that when ingested has innumerous, but unproven, health benefits. It is supposed to help boost your immune system. From what I’ve found online it helps turn people blue. No lie. I don’t want to take something that makes me look like John Goodman’s and Violet Beauregard’s love child. I mentioned this to the person who suggested I take it. I mentioned that the FDA has not approved it and that there is no hard scientific evidence that this works at all. Of course I’m the crazy one in the situation. I was told that the government doesn’t approve things like that because it would put the drug companies out of business. I am as leery of the government as anyone on Earth but maybe ingesting pure silver isn’t the best thing to do. I’m just saying that I should maybe not listen to Tom Cruise when it comes to medicinal matters.

There are some things like some natural medicines that people claim work for which there is no way to really prove wihtout science that it works. I think that some natural cures are as effective as the door close button on an elevator. You can press it all you want but there is no way to prove that your repeatedly pressing the button resulted in the doors closing. I mean it can’t hurt but who’s to say it works? I also don’t want to pee bullets or accidentally find out I’m part werewolf. Man that would suck if the only thing taking silver proved was that I was a werewolf. That would explain the thick beard when the moon is full.

My freaking legs hurt again and the pills have kicked in. Off to bed I go. This sucks. Sorry to be a downer.

- Joel

I recently had surgery again for the same thing I’ve had surgery for three times previous. For some reason I get these very painful abscesses on my leg which have always resulted in surgery. The doctors cannot figure out what is wrong. I think it’s God’s way of telling me I need to do something with my life and get off my proverbial ass. Then again maybe God is telling me to get addicted to pain pills and go to rehab. That would be a first. Going to rehab BEFORE I do anything that afforded me the celebrity of a trip to rehab. I’m a far cry from beating a girlfriend while I’m in a morphine induced haze. It’s not that I wouldn’t I just don’t have a girlfriend.

That was a joke and you know it.

————–

I wrote that last paragraph last night and today had THE SAME EXACT SURGERY I had a week ago today. They are telling me it a serious staph infection. My mom about flipped out when I told her that as did some other people. I guess it can be deadly. They have me on some antibiotics for it so we’ll see.

I Googled Staph to see what exactly it is and a picture of the lead singer of Creed came up. I spelled Stapp and not Staph which is good because for a moment I thought I had the crummy former lead singer of Creed infecting me somehow, and I know there’s no cure for mediocrity of that sort. Thank God it was just an error in spelling.

When I found out that it is deadly it really didn’t freak me out. I mean if I’m dying, then so be it I guess. Honestly I really wouldn’t care. I haven’t lived a full life by anyone’s standards but I also haven’t had too bad a life either. I’ve been in love, I’ve won a comedy contest and I met Screech. That’s my whole life in a summation I guess.

If I was going to die I really don’t have a legacy and that’s my fault. I won’t be leaving behind any kids who will miss me, which is good for the imaginary children I have. No soul mate who will be sad if I’m gone. I will have left behind a hail damaged Honda, a laptop and quite the eclectic selection of DVD’s. Who else do you know that owns Citizen Cane and From Justin To Kelly?

I can’t write much because it hurts like a bastard when I sit. I’m currently not getting paid so if anyone wants to cut me a check for fifty grand, that would be great. That way I can get out of debt and then pursue the career I’ve talked about since I was a kid. Professional ninja/gigalo. A ninj-igalo if you will.

- Joel

I’m sorry this is a quick one but I’ve had a lot going on I’ll let you all know about in the near future.

It would be nice if someone would e-mail me now and again just to check on me. For all you know I could have left the state after winning the lottery or perhaps am lying in my bathroom after a terrible fall. Then again I wouldn’t be able to check my e-mail if I was dying on my bathroom floor, so just forget that whole thing.

I had surgery this past Wednesday on some thing on my leg again. This is the fourth time this has happened and the doctors aren’t sure what is causing it so I’m missing work which means losing money.

Friday I found out that one of my favorite aunts died and I’m unable to attend the funeral as I have no money, or time, to go to CA for the funeral. Rough week. Real rough week but my friend Heather said that only means this next week will be phenomenal. Here’s hoping.

I have an opportunity to quit my job and get a little bit of cash for doing so. I am presenting my dilemma to all the person who reads this as I am in a Lortab induced haze so my level of discretion is minimal at best. That’s probably why I’m typing this in the middle of a Kinko’s wearing nothing but pants I fashioned out of tin foil and rubber bands. So here is the dilemma.

Do I continue to work a job I hate more than life itself because I have debt or do I quit, take my chances and let someone who needs the job to support a family, have my job? I have no degree but have worked at the same place for twelve years. I make really good money for someone with no degree but I am miserable.

What should I do?

- Joel

I’m not really sure why I can’t think of a subject worthy of writing an entire entry about. Probably because I don’t think many people get past this part right here. See. You’ve already stopped reading, and if you haven’t stopped reading, God knows you’ll never get this time back so you should probably do your life a favor and stop reading.

Still reading? Wow. You must really hate yourself. Oh well. On with the drivel!

This past weekend was my friend Lesley’s birthday so we got a bunch of people together and headed on down to the big Riverwind Casino in Norman. It was incredible. I don’t mean incredible in that I sound like a bumpkin who is enthralled by flashing lights and big buildings either. I mean, sure, that was impressive and all, but what was INCREDIBLE was the people. Sweet merciful god it was amazing. I had a great time there because, well, I spent most of it with my friends in the bar ‘observing the goings on’. Ok. So it was actually more like watching a documentary on greasy scrunchies and sweat stained tank tops. My friend Jason remarked “If this place blew up right now there would be empty Wal-Marts all over the metro tomorrow.” Thanks to the casino I now know where all the people I see at the fair go in the ‘off season’.

I also saw feats of strength while there! I saw people miraculously propping themselves out of their wheelchairs to reach the slot to plug quarters into a machine that is going to do nothing but flash colorful pictures of random animals or fruit. I saw elderly people dragging their oxygen tanks behind them like a cylindrical green robot on wheels. I guess when one is that close to death no one really cares if the ill spend some time plugging quarters into a machine that gives them more hope than their own life ever could.

Not surprising, the waitresses were quite attractive. Our waitress came up to us and asked if we wanted anything and I said “Do you have Newcastle?” and she said, “Yeah! I’m from Newcastle!”. Feeling kind of bad I informed her that I was talking about the English beer and not the Oklahoma town. She was a little embarrassed and said they didn’t have it. I asked for a Heineken instead. When she came back after a few minutes she looked at me and said “Heineken?” and I said “Yeah. I’m from Heineken.” That was funny. Just re-read it with wacky inflection and it will get funnier. If it doesn’t get funnier remember that I told you to stop reading this a long time ago so you have no one to blame but yourself.

After hanging out at the casino for a while we left to go to a bar. The casino only serves beer and no liquor. That is a surprise seeing as how them Indians love their firewater! Snap! I’m kidding, I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention. Put the tomahawk down Cochese. Jeez.

We left the casino and headed over to Al Eschbach’s Bar, Grill and home for wayward drunken college girls, on Campus Corner in Norman, where I had probably the worst experience with a waitress I’ve ever had. It was me, Lesley, Adam, Braxton, Jason and his wife Aeron and Chad and his girlfriend Angela. So eight people. I suppose I could have just said there were eight people as opposed to naming everyone off but come Christmas time I’ll be like “I didn’t buy you anything because you’ve been immortalized in my blog you ungrateful heathens! Now where’s my gift?” That ought to not piss off my friends.

We all sat down and our waitress took our order. No problem. That wouldn’t last long though. As the night progressed the frequency with which she was returning to our table dwindled. Why did this happen? It happened because, as she told us upon one of her too few trips to our table, that her ex-boyfriend had walked in and she was really upset about it. She was trying to hold back tears. My friend Chad remarked, after she left the table, “I get the feeling she’s not the one who ended it.”

As the night went on she would take our order but then go and talk to another table behind us. She told us that they were her friends, however she still wouldn’t bring our drinks. We counted and the table full of her friends ordered and got their drinks twice before we got our one order. “She was distraught Joel. She had her ex walk in and that’s hard on a girl. That’s why she forgot your order.” I can see your point of view Clarence. Clarence is the name of the imaginary voice in my head today. See, I can see where she might be distraught, Clarence, but I think it was the booze. Oh, did I forget to mention that she was getting hammered the whole night? Sorry.

There were two tables that bought her shot after shot after shot because she was upset. We saw this with our own eyes. She kept telling us that she was getting drunk and we were cool with her because she was upset, and hammered, but it got to the point where it was ridiculous. She was bringing us drinks we didn’t order and then not bringing us what we did order. It was a debacle that could only be inadvertently orchestrated by an alcoholic coed with a broken heart. I wanted to punch her ex, whoever he was, because it was his fault we weren’t getting our drinks. Bastard.

When the time came for her to bring us our tabs, we all waited with anticipation to see exactly how badly they had gotten screwed up. We had divided it four ways, and as sure as she had a hangover the next day, they were all jacked up. We asked for itemized tabs and you would have thought we asked her to kill a puppy with her teeth. She started weeping. I don’t mean a few tears either, I mean WEEPING like one would after watching Schindler’s List then going to a funeral and then hitting a cat and then going home only to find out that your house burned down with all of your belongings in it right before your car gets stolen and then someone tells you you’re fired, all on your birthday. My friend Adam and I pulled up a chair for her and told her to sit down. She honestly got tears on me and Adam she was crying so hard. She just kept apologizing for how drunk she was because people bought her shots and her ex was in the building. We didn’t buy her a shot because, well, it probably never would have gotten to our table because we ordered it.

After what I’m sure was a nervous breakdown in the making, she brought us itemized tabs, and not shockingly they were all wrong. There was a slew of drinks on there we never ordered. I told her to go ahead and give me a napkin and a pen and I would write out what we all ordered, as I was sober enough to do so. Actually I think she may have been the most drunk person in there.

I gave her the napkin and she came back with new tabs then threw a paper on the table and in between tears, said “This is the amount I’m going to have to pay and I really don’t care.” I told her that she didn’t have to pay for those because what was on the tab she put down was a list of drinks that no one at our table ordered. She got even more upset and my friend Aeron just gave her the money to get her to stop crying. It was pretty disconcerting.

I felt bad for the waitress, but as the night went on, and we all saw her getting as drunk as everyone at our table hoped to be, I realized that no matter what we did, there was no getting her to do her job. No one got angry with her at our table and we were patient with her, but it was awful. I am not going to mention her by name because I don’t want to be that guy, but it was a pretty bad night and I doubt we’ll go back there anytime soon.

I probably wasted an opportunity that frat guys and car salesmen worldwide live for. A drunk, hot and newly single waitress?! Man oh man I wasted a golden opportunity. Well not really an opportunity so much as a chance to get a number from a cute girl with severe emotional problems. Then again everyone I’ve dated has severe emotional problems so it’s probably for the best I didn’t get her number. Maybe it was just an elaborate rouse to get me to not think she was cute. Well played drunken waitress! Well played!

So that’s my tale of nothingness for the day. Go me!

RIGHT NOW

SONG – Serge by Folk Implosion off of the album One Part Lullaby. I need to write a movie around this song. I would also like for this song to be my introduction music whenever I get my own one night comedy special. It’s a pretty awesome song.

MOVIE – Little Miss Sunshine. Funniest movie of the year and my favorite movie of the year so far.

- Joel David

Yesterday I received a frantic call from a friend of mine. “Bomar’s off the team dude!” I said “Who the hell is Bomar?” Sorry kids, but I don’t pay attention to Sooner football. I don’t pay attention to any football at all really so that statement meant nothing to me. Well I guess I’m one of the few people in this state who weren’t impacted in some way by this news.

For those of you who are fortunate enough to not know what I’m talking about, Rhett Bomar, quarterback for the almighty Oklahoma Sooners, along with fellow player J.D. Quinn, were both kicked off the football team yesterday after it was found that they were getting paid by a company for not actually working at said company. A lot of people are upset about this and I figured that since I’m in a pretty objective position, as I could care less one way or the other, I thought I would espouse my opinions here.

Lucky you.

For starters, can we please leave these guys alone? Yeah, they screwed up and took money they shouldn’t have, but there are a lot of other factors at play here. First off, athletes aren’t known for their decision making skills. They play a sport, coast through college and some even end up with a degree and can’t even read. I’m not saying these guys are dopes but history shows athletes aren’t the brightest specimens of humanity.

Also, are you going to tell me that you never made a mistake at 21? The only problem with their mistake is that so many people count on them for entertainment. Like it or not people, sports is entertainment, plain and simple. We don’t care if an actor or rock star does boat loads of cocaine, slaps his wife around or embezzles now and again, so why are we so up in arms over what these guys did? Get over it.

Besides, aren’t there more important things in your life to get angry at? Your unfaithful spouse, or your commander-in-chief or your boss or virtually anyone other than some kid who played ball would be more worthy of your anger than the angry wrath of fans these guys are having to experience. Hell, getting angry at the guy who gave them the money is a good place to put that anger. If I was 21 and played ball and some moron who has to live vicariously through much younger men who have a much brighter future than selling cars, offered me a whole bunch of money for nothing, I can’t say I wouldn’t entertain the thought. That guy was so stupid.

A year ago my friend Jason and I had talked to a player for the Sooners about attending a comedy show we did. We were going to give him tickets but then realized that action was a violation of NCAA rules. My friend and I knew that and that was for one show. This car dealer moron knew what he was doing and should be condemned to the hell that is selling cars for the rest of his life. Wait. Too late.

I’m surprised that people are acting like this is something new though. Has anyone driven by the football dorms at OU? Here is a group of guys who are in school or practicing yet they somehow manage to get a job that allows them to afford the payment on a Cadillac Escalade with sweet rims and a killer sound system These guys get paid, and we all know it, it’s just that these two happened to get caught. On paper it looks like they might not get any money, but when you were in college, did you drive a car that nice or sport the finest of clothes? They might not get paid in cash, but they’re taken care of.

The other problem with the entire situation is that I think that a lot of Sooners fans aren’t fans of the team so much as they are fans of winning and when it looks like that won’t happen people get in a rage over it. “What?! Some athlete made a mistake and now we might not be able to brag on our football team?! Dammit! That’s all I got in this life because my marriage is loveless and I like seeing minorities beat each other up because it makes me forget the pain that is my own life. Dammit all to hell!” For proof of that theory try to think if anyone has already condemned the entire the season because of the loss of the QB. That’s the fan I’m talking about right there. The fair weather Sooner fan.

I’m not defending these guys, or condemning all Sooner fans, I just think the reaction by the media and come of the fans is a tad overblown. The local news stations aren’t helping. You would have thought Tim McVeigh rose from the dead and drove another truck downtown what with the passion and fervor these local reporters were reporting the story. “Bomar is out! My god! That’s it. The apocalypse is upon us!”

Personally, I think that this will make the season more interesting. I mean here is a team that has a chance to prove all the detractors wrong. Winning is a team effort, and no matter how good Bomar was, there is still a whole team of guys ready to win for their school, for their fans and for themselves. A real Sooner fan is going to get behind their team, no matter what happens, and not condemn an entire season before even one game is played.

I didn’t know who Bomar was though so I could be way off about all of this.

- Joel David

Hola.

I really wish I had something relevant to say. I don’t though. Absolutely nothing. Nada. Nothing going on. This entry is just an exercise in regularity so people won’t think I’ve left them to their own devices. This entry is like virtual Metamucil. I know people are concerned about this because of all the e-mails I don’t get from people wondering where I’ve been. Now I know how MC Hammer feels.

I’ll think of something to make this relevant. Here you go.

There were recently some shootings in Bricktown. Of course, what with people being the way they are, I’ve heard some racist grumblings. “Those black people are ruining Bricktown.” That’s not true. It was some punk thirteen and fourteen year olds with bad attitudes and guns. The color of the skin wasn’t a factor, the attitude and access to firearms sure was though. I’m more scared of some sixteen year old punk white kid wearing a wife beater and super baggy sweatpants sporting a barely grown-in moustache and some mall bought bling than I’ve ever been of a black dude. Ever.

Racism cracks me up. To hate someone for something they can’t help is probably among the more ludicrous things I’ve ever heard. Ok, so it’s DEFINITLEY among the most ludicrous things I’ve ever heard. I find it funny though that all the people who hate someone because of their color, sex, or sexual preference wouldn’t think twice about letting that person help them out of a burning car or out from under some rubble. It’s amazing how quickly a racist, homophobic, sexist moron would accept the help of a black lesbian firefighter if his or her life depended on it.

Stupid racists.

“You ain’t perfect man! Don’t come up in here with all your liberal ways of thinking! Everyone hates something ya tree hugging idealist!” Well yeah. I never claimed to not hate anything, imaginary racist voice in my head. I just hate things that make a little more sense to hate because there is usually a good reason behind it, and not some sort of crazy nut-ball situation that doesn’t exist. I hate my job because it is a soulless and boring existence to have. Totally depressing. I don’t like being depressed hence I don’t like my job. I hate wet socks (uncomfortable), guacamole (tastes like crap), the popularity of Paris Hilton (her popularity reflects the ignorance of the American public at large and their willingness to rally around something that’s pretty and shiny) and finally lists that make no sense (like this one).

I know I’m not going to solve any of the worlds problems, I can merely provide my opinion on them. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I should hate things based on color. Like Oranges. They might be delicious but I’ll be damned if I’ll let one date my daughter! No way! Not in my lifetime! See how stupid that sounds? Damn, just stop with the racism. This applies to all races. Everyone has stupid people in their race. Jews, Blacks, Whites, Asians, Muslims, Gays, Breeders, Christians and everyone else who has put themselves into an exclusive little niche just needs to get over it and live in harmony with each other. It’s possible. We can all find way better things to hate. Like Paris Hilton or Toby Keith.

Moving on.

I was at the Taco Bell drive-thru on NW 23rd yesterday and noticed a homeless couple. How did I know they were homeless? The obvious lack of a shower in weeks, the hanging out next to a building and the smoking of cigarettes they found in the trash can next to them were all pretty good indicators. It’s unfair to assume they were homeless based on their appearance though. Perhaps they were just the most frugal people on the planet. For the sake of the story, and fact, I’m gonna say they were homeless.

I rolled down my window to hear their conversation. The guy was angry with the woman for something she said and she got mad at him for something he said in response to her. That’s when I realized that the same conversation probably took place at some point between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. “Oh yeah! Well you’re an a-hole!” “Oh yeah?! Well it’s not like you’re perfect!” I basically realized that no matter what your social status, be it alcoholic, unshaven, bum or celebrity superstar, men and women just can’t seem to get along. Same arguments across the status board.

There was no point to that, just a random observation.

Another funny thing was that before the argument the homeless guy had a Taco Bell drink and he offered it to his lady friend and she hesitated before drinking it in a very discerning manner. “This isn’t diet is it? You know I hate diet.” You’re effing homeless! Just shut up and drink it! Then again maybe he had played some trick on her previously where what was in the cup really wasn’t Mountain Dew and more like Bum Dew. Now that I think of it that way her discerning nature doesn’t seem all that out of place. I guess that’s the life one leads when they live behind a check cashing building.

In other useless Joel related drivel…

I was recently made aware by someone that when one Google’s Jennifer Peterson Hind, and looks under images, the first image that comes up is from an image I posted on this here blog a while back. That’s great. I’m now probably on some sort of watch list of people who watch TV shows for kids but don’t have any children of their own. Oh well. That brings the number of watch lists I’m on to a personal record of 7. I can’t tell you what the other six are for. We’ll just say two of them involve Big Bird and the other involves that hot girl from Mythbusters. I need to get less eclectic criteria for women I find attractive.

I’m pretty sure I’m on the Klan’s and some homeless advocacy group’s watch list now too. Oh well. I’m pretty sure I’m in good company. Mel Gibson probably gets lonely being on those watch lists. Take that Braveheart! Snap!

RIGHT NOW

SONG – Crazy by The Raconteurs. It’s the song by Gnarls Barkley but performed by the Raconteurs at a live show. Here’s the link. Thanks to Sarah at www.twoheadedblog.com for this.

http://www.stereogum.com/The%20Raconteurs%20-%20Crazy%20(Live%207-23-06).mp3

MOVIE – Syriana. This movie was awesome and way better than the Matthew McConaughey movie of the same name. What? That was Sahara? Damn you spell check and bad joke writer in my head!

Holla.

- Joel David

www.myspace.com/joeldavidd
joeldavidd@gmail.com

* The Joel David show is on hiatus right now and will return with all new podcasts on September 4th. *