I’m not sure at what point everyone begins to feel their age. If you’re anything like me, you feel a lot older than you should. This kind of came about today after telling a friend of mine that I got the new Pearl Jam album. He responded by saying “Pearl Jam? Aren’t they a bit nineties?” Holy sweet mother of an appropriate deity. Nineties? Crap. That was a long time ago but it seems like yesterday.
It only got worse when I heard some people over dinner tonight talking about the May 3rd tornado and how that was seven years ago. Seven freaking years ago? It seems like an hour ago when my girlfriend and I were driving around with some co-workers trying to get into south OKC and Moore because I lived there and so did my friends. Seven years ago. Wow. I guess it has been that long since I’ve been in love. That’s a pleasant thought. Then again being in love is so “nineties”.
I feel like I should have accomplished way more with the time on this Earth I’ve already had. I think that as of recent I should change my profession to “Professional Time Squanderer”. Want an example? This past weekend I spent about two hours finding cover art for all the albums I have on iTunes but have no artwork for. I have matching artwork now! The sad thing is that I don’t even own an iPod. Dammit I’m stupid.
It’s not that I don’t spend my time well, I just don’t spend it wisely. I spend either all of my time working or sleeping. If I had the same motivation for weight loss or meeting women or concentrating on moving and maybe actually doing something with my life, I might be a little happier. Sleeping is just so easy. It’s almost like shooting fish in a barrel. So remember what I said about sleeping if you ever come across a barrel full of fish and you are armed with a gun. Try shooting some fish in said barrel. Try not to shoot a hole in the barrel with your gun though because then the analogy doesn’t work. People don’t go around saying “That’s like shooting fish in a barrel but missing and you end up shooting a hole in the side of the barrel full of fish and all the water spills out then you can just pick the fish up off of the ground but you might have to pay the guy who owns the barrel something because you obliterated his barrel with your gun. But yeah. That easy.” People don’t say that at all.
In my short/seemingly long time on this Earth, I have been hurt and have hurt others. I have had people turn their back on me and I have turned my back on people. I have been both loved and hated. I have been homeless, carless, jobless and girlfriendless but never all at the same time. Cruel irony I suppose. Guess which one I don’t have now? I’ve loved those that I shouldn’t and been hated by those who said they loved me. I have lost a parent. I have been happy and sad about many things. I have been care free and careless. When it comes down to it I guess the good does outweigh the bad. I just wonder if the good is going to come back around again.
I’ve found my writing to be more entertaining when not left to my own thoughts. I don’t assume that by writing what I’ve written that anyone cares. I sometimes read people’s ramblings and just assume they are a self-involved, emotionally incompetent, individual throwing out the line of desperation in the hopes of getting a bite from the fish of hope. Then I read things like what I just wrote and want to punch myself. Fish of hope? What the hell is wrong with me? That is the lamest thing ever written. Fish of hope indeed.
My life is pretty sweet. I love my friends and my family. I don’t like my job, but who does? I can’t talk to girls, but that’s not a shocker. I’m not rich but I’m not poor. I just want to count is all. Perhaps I shouldn’t try to count by writing drivel that sounds like something copied from the well worn spiral notebook of a forty year old slam poet.
There. That made me feel better. Thanks for putting up with that. You can slap me the next time you see me if you want.
RIGHT NOW
MOVIE - Match Point - Two words Scarlett Johanssen.
SONG - Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega. Mostly so the chorus gets stuck in your head.
Holla.
- Joel
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www.myspace.com/joeldavidd