Dean is dead. Not a guy named Dean, although I’m sure someone, somewhere named Dean did die. I meant my fish Dean. Mothereffing Wal-Mart fish. At least I didn’t have him long enough to get attached. As much as they’d like to I’m glad Wal-Mart doesn’t sell women or children because if the longevity of their fish serves as a testament to their ‘keeping things alive’ policy, that would probably be a bad idea.
Get ready for the seemingly godless rant of a ‘writer’. Here goes.
There is apparently a book out now in which the author states that he has seen proof, that Jesus was indeed married. Not Jesus Rodriguez who does my taxes either. No, Jesus Christ. Unlike Dan Brown’s fictional The DaVinci Code, this book is non-fiction. Who cares? Apparently people with weak faith. There is an uproar over whether or not Christ was married. When did we turn Jesus into a celebrity? He isn’t Angelina Jolie or Ashton Kutcher. We shouldn’t care whether or not he was married because that has no bearing on the work he did.
If you truly believe that Jesus was the son of God and that he died for your sins, it shouldn’t matter whether or not he was married or had kids. If you can’t look past the possibility that he was married and see him for the work he did and the impact he had on millions of lives to this day, then perhaps you should question your own faith. To believe that Jesus was infallible negates the idea of him being the son of God as man. We know that Christ got angry and violent. Those are emotions not becoming an infallible son of God. So why is hard to believe that maybe he was married? In all actuality, it doesn’t matter either way. If you believe someone died for your sins, then who cares if he had a wife? Your sins are forgiven. Move on.
The people who are so adamant about Christ not having been married are the same exact people who hold marriage in such high regard. “We can’t let the gays marry! What? Ain’t no way Jesus was married, he wouldn’t do something that horrible!” You can either entertain the idea he was married and go ahead and continue to champion the cause of an ever failing institution, or go ahead and believe that maybe Christ wasn’t married, which makes your argument for the sanctity of marriage a little weak. I mean if you don’t believe Jesus got married, what makes marriage so great? Either way, none of it matters. People are going to believe what they are told because it is easier that way. Religion is social meth. People need to belong to a fun little club. I know very few people, myself included, who either have, or at one time did, attend church for the sole benefit of bettering one’s soul. It is a social thing. People go to church because either their parents made them and they just decided to waste their Sundays through adulthood, or they went ahead and went because their friends did. Neither of those is bettering one’s soul at all.
Recently a friend of mine said “I don’t get why being a Muslim is so great. I wish I could stop hearing about how great it is to be a Muslim. That’s just an oppressive religion.” First of all, I don’t know who is saying being a Muslim is so great. Personally I wouldn’t want to be a Muslim because they are vilified in the media and assumptions are made that they are all evil terrorists, which, I promise you, they are not. Second, all religions are oppressive. Christianity persecutes gay people or tells a girl she is going to hell for getting an abortion or frowns on inter-racial relationships. Muslims tell people they are going to get ‘x’ amount of virgins for killing thousands of innocent people or stone women who want nothing more then to learn to read. Buddhists believe that suffering is the only way to happiness. If that were true Ethiopians, burn victims and orphaned children would be the happiest people on Earth. I know I used some generalizations just now, and that is not fair. I am not speaking of ALL Christians or Muslims or Buddhists. However, you cannot deny that there are certain people who claim to be any number of things and end up doing evil horrible things in the name of their God. For more information on that Google George W. Bush or Osama Bin Laden.
I am not condemning all Christians or Muslims or Buddhists or Scientologists or whatever you may believe. What you believe is what you believe and it is not my job to change that. I can only attempt to point out the blatant hypocrisy offered up by almost every major religion. You are just as right or wrong about everything as someone else who may believe in a different way of getting to Heaven than you do. It comes down to what you personally believe. It is a personal choice. Free will is a blessing from God, whichever one you might believe in.
Also, for proof that Jesus was married you need look no further then the registry at Target. Turns out Jesus wanted an iPod. Huh. I hope he got it!
That having been said, let’s move on to more trivial affairs.
I recently moved into an apartment and put my washer and dryer into storage. I had forgotten the ‘joys’ of a communal laundry room. This last week someone stole my hamper. Why the hell someone would steal my hamper is beyond me. It wasn’t gold plated or anything. It was just a basic white hamper. I would have given the guy six bucks. I assume it was a guy because women don’t have to steal hampers. That is unless the woman is a meth head who thought that perhaps my hamper was a portal to another dimension. In that case it’s perfectly understandable. As there are no meth heads in my complex I doubt that’s the case.
See how stupid crap about a lost hamper eases the rage invoked by my bad mouthing religion? You don’t? Oh. Sorry.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Imagine by John Lennon. Just listen to it and if any part of that song makes you angry, you are the exact person he wrote that song for.
MOVIE - Saved! starring Mandy Moore. If you watch this movie and it makes you angry, you are the exact person this movie was made for.
MY BLOG - If you read this and any part of it angered you, you are the exact person I wrote this for.
Holla.
- Joel
www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd