I had written quite possibly the funniest and most thought provoking thing ever written by any one person yesterday. It rivaled anything Hemingway, Shakespeare or Ann Landers could have ever hoped to write. That’s right. I said Ann Landers. I was about to post it into the blog and then realized I hadn’t saved it. That has only happened to me once before. Instead of being a man about it and writing it over I just went ahead and spent the rest of the day crying and watching reruns of Saved by the Bell. That’s how I handle most things in my life.
So let’s talk about the Coldplay and Fiona Apple show as that is the best thing that happened to me this week. First of all, I’m about in love with Fiona Apple. I have liked her ever since her first album came out. I wanted to see her live because I like her music, I think she is talented and she is my future wife. She apparently doesn’t know it yet despite all of the letters and videos and gifts I’ve sent her. That’s not true. I didn’t send her gifts.
Fiona Apple would be the perfect woman for me because unlike previous women I’ve dated at least Fiona is open and honest about her craziness. Honesty is always good even if it concerns one’s emotional instability. At the show Monday she was acting like a bit of a fuh-reek. That’s fine. See, in my mind a girl who gets all that out on stage is probably completely normal off stage. That just means she won’t take out all of her angst fueled rage on me. Hypothetically of course.
Fiona Apple performed for about forty-five minutes and it was a good set. After about forty-five minutes of stage preparation by a crew of haggard looking roadies, Coldplay took the stage. I like Coldpay a lot. I always have. However Monday just confirmed that I wasn’t wrong in thinking they are one of the best bands of my generation. They played a great set and the crowd was on it’s feet for the entire hour or so they played. In all of the events I have attended at the Ford Center I have never heard a crowd cheer that loud before. Wait, Promise Keepers was close. Those guys cheer super loud.
By far Coldplay was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. It was the best thing to happen to me in a while. As is the case with my life though, for every good thing that happens, something pretty crummy seems to be waiting right around the corner for me. In this case it involved my transmission. For some reason the second gear decided that it would just stop working. I had to shift from first to third. That made everyone who was driving behind me so super happy it wasn’t funny. Off to the transmission place I go where they told me that it was going to cost $850.00 to fix. That’s good seeing as how, just like most of you I’m sure, I have $850.00 just lying around ready to be spent on something. Right before that happened to my car I was wondering what the best way would be for me to spend almost a grand on something. Thanks faulty transmission for making that decision for me!
So I dropped the car off at the mechanics this morning. The ‘good’ thing is that I had given my old car to my brother J.P. so he said I could drive that until I got my car back. That was nice of him I thought. I picked up my old car and the second I got in it I realized how much I hated it. It was the same type of feeling you get if you run into someone you used to date and then wonder how the hell you ever put up with that person for as long as you did. My old car is a 1989 Volkswagen Fox with no power steering. I’m six-three which I think is twice as tall as that car is long. If a bird hits that car I’m pretty sure I’m done for. I really can’t wait to get my car back.
So a podcast is up so all of my adoring fan can hear the sweet sound of my voice. I know none of you asked for that but it’s free so there ya go. I can’t stand to hear my own voice. Not because I don’t like it but I am taken aback at how much I sound like Barry White. I am just that sexy. Not really but sometimes when I lie to myself it makes me feel a little better.
I know I’m cutting this short, and I know none of you can take much more of me complaining about my transmission woes so I’ll wrap this up.
For those select few of you who don’t know it, March is ‘Frozen Food Appreciation’ month. In keeping in accordance with my self imposed recognition of all things trivial I now bring you ‘The Frozen Food I Appreciate Today’
FROZEN PEAS!
RIGHT NOW
Song - What If by Coldplay off of X&Y. The Coldplay show made me realize that the impact of their songs would probably be much more appreciated if I was in love. Other things that would be appreciated if I was in love? Me. YOWZA!
Movie - Sideout. I recently told a popular morning radio personality about this epic volleyball adventure. I think he doubted me. Well let me say this Nugget. It exists and you should have a copy of it on your desk next week. It is truly one of the best things ever.
I would like to give a special thanks to Chad Conant with Ch Kona Entertainment for producing my podcast.
Rest in peace Grape Top.
- Joel David
www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd