The tops news story is that Mardi Gras was celebrated successfully in storm ravaged New Orleans. That’s just what people who have lost everything need right now. Here New Orleans, go ahead and throw a big party! Your town was destroyed, the government turned it’s back on you and there are more homeless people there than ever before, but seriously, go ahead and party. That’s what life’s all about, right? I’m glad that reveling in frivolity took place despite tragedy. Finally!
I don’t want to come off as bitter, but let’s go ahead and prioritize. I know that Mardis Gras brings tourists, but what if those tourists did something worthwhile while they were there? Like build a house or take that money they spent on booze and trinkets and helped a homeless person out. That’s just a thought.
MTV is actually doing something that is almost making up for being a sub par music network. Yes it is too . Have you seen ‘Date My Mom’? Case closed. Anyway, they are presenting an ‘Alternative Spring Break’ which is taking volunteers willing to give up their spring break for something other than drinking and one-night stands. They are proposing that young people spend their spring break helping victims of Katrina by volunteering their time in the clean up effort. They also have a list of suggestions of things you can do in your own town if you aren’t able to trek to the storm area.
www.mtv.com/thinkmtv/features/alternative_spring_break/
Check out the link. It has a lot of good ideas. Besides, doing something good for your community is a lot better than catching something you really don’t want or being hung over for a week straight. No one feels better about themselves after being on Girls Gone Wild. I promise.
As one who really wouldn’t consider himself a ‘real man’ I did something yesterday that was pretty damn manly. “Talk to a girl?” No. Not that manly. I went to the gun range. “So?” Ok. I went to the gun range and fired some guns. “Holy crap! You are a real boy!” Yeah.
My friend Billy called me and asked if I wanted to go to the gun range so I figured since I had nothing planned but to watch a marathon of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1, it would probably be in my best interest to go.
I went and picked Billy up and we headed out to H&H Gun Range. Keep in mind that I’m not anti-gun but I am anti-people being armed to the teeth. Also, I am uneasy around guns. I wasn’t raised in OK so guns were never a part of my formidable years. I did live near a rough area in CA though so you would think that I would have been strapped, but I’m a wuss.
So Billy and I go in there and rent a lane. It was kind of like bowling only with bullets. Keep in mind I know absolutely nothing as far as guns are concerned. I know as much about them as I do about cars. I have a general knowledge of how to use one but absolutely no idea how it works. At one point one of the people there asked what caliber gun Billy was shooting and I told him I had no idea. I kind of felt bad about my response because the guy was in a gun range wearing a ‘Grumpy’ the dwarf t-shirt. Not a good idea to make that guy mad I felt.
I started out by shooting a .22 hand gun. That was pretty simple. I thought I was doing pretty good. The gun felt powerful to me. Then Billy decided to go ahead do some rifle shots. He had a .44 rifle. I could tell there was a huge difference between the girly .22 I was shooting and the .44 rifle. I wasn’t feeling all ‘Lee Harvey Oswaldy’ so I opted to not use the rifle. Then Billy decided to shoot off the biggest damn hand cannon I’ve ever seen. A .44 magnum.
He told me that once he started shooting, people would stop and look to see what he was shooting. He was right. That thing was ridiculously loud. I got the impression that a .44 is not the type of gun you use to suggest anything. That’s the kind of gun that would make the point and also leave a huge gaping hole for good measure. He asked if I wanted to try it. I told him I would fire off one shot. He handed me the gun and he told me to brace myself and showed me how to hold it so as not to bruise my hand. That’s a comfort. I stood there aiming at the soon to be obliterated paper target. I slowly squeezed the trigger with every muscle in my body bracing for an explosion. The hammer slowly made it’s way back and then it clicked. Noithing happened. I tried again. Nothing. I turned around and looked at Billy. I told him it wasn’t working. He asked me if I had loaded it. I hadn’t. And you thought I was making all that stuff up about my ineptitude concerning firearms.
I loaded a single bullet and then got ready to fire. I braced myself and pulled the trigger. This time it worked. It felt like someone had punched me in the face that thing was so powerful. I didn’t even hit the target either. That was fine with me. I wasn’t about to fire off that hand bazooka any time soon. And I also effed my hand up.
Billy decided to go ahead and rent a .45. He was looking at buying one so he wanted to try one out. That turned out to be a more ‘Joel friendly’ weapon. I was popping caps like it was no one’s business.
I ended up having a lot of fun but I still don’t get that culture. I just don’t see the point. The most disconcerting thing about the whole day was people who were there with their kids. I know this might open up a whole can of worms concerning how people feel about their guns and involving their kids. I can honestly say, as far as I’m concerned, I won’t be teaching my kids how to use a gun. Sure kids need to be aware of them but I’m not going to teach my kid to use a gun. It’s not a fear of guns but a fear of pissing my child off. I’m pretty sure that at some point I will ground my child and I don’t want the option to be there for my kid to pop a cap in me. That wouldn’t be good at all.
So yeah. That’s all I got for today. Lucky you right? Wait a minute. That’s not true. It’s time for Joel’s Black History Fun Fact!
JOEL’S BLACK HISTORY FUN FACT!
LL Cool J is in pretty good shape. I also look exactly like him.
That’s the laziest Fun Fact yet. Sue me. Well don’t sue me because you wouldn’t make any money.
RIGHT NOW
Movie - Punch Drunk Love - I’ve suggested it before but let me go ahead and say for the record that Adam Sandler will be nominated for an Academy Award within the next three years. Yes. That Adam Sandler.
Song - Question Mark by Esquivel. This is my new theme song. It’s so bad and cheesy but endearing in a special type of way. Just like me.
Holla.
- Joel
www.chkona.com
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd