In my having been absent from the ‘blog-o-sphere’ so much hasn’t happened to me. I didn’t win the lottery or write any offensive cartoons. Nothing exciting at all. I’m possibly the most boring person on the planet. You’re welcome.
Unlike my real life, so much is going on in the world. So many things that I have an opinion on. I guess since I’ve lagged behind, I’d better use this valuable time to catch up. Here we go.
The Eddie Sutton Debacle. Please understand I’m not that big a sports fan. At all. I love baseball followed by basketball and then Olympic Curling. Professional Curling has lost it’s innocence what with all the endorsement deals and egotistical players. However, I am a fan of people who have had success in their life then lose all of it because of one bad mistake. I find that to be sad-larious. That’s a combination of sad and hilarious for those of you watching at home.
Here is a guy who, regardless of his liver abusing antics, will still go down in history as one of the greatest college coaches of all time. That’s good because his accomplishments really should outweigh his youthful indiscretions. What’s that? He actually is old enough to know better than to get plastered at work then get in a car then drive home? Huh. Well I’ll be damned.
I am glad he is getting charged. We are talking about someone who had no regard for anyone but himself when he got into his car to drive. Sure we’ve all driven buzzed, and I know buzzed IS drunk driving. Thanks commercials. However a majority of us have not cracked our heads on the pavement before taking the wheel. A head wound is usually a good sign you probably shouldn’t drive. That and most of us don’t get plowed at work. If you’re reading this, and you don’t work in fast food or coach at OSU, I’m pretty sure that you would get fired for getting sauced at work immediately. I don’t feel empathy towards anyone who endangers people by driving drunk. Especially someone who has been put in charge of being a mentor to young people.
We need to stop treating people with even the slightest bit of celebrity any different than you or I would get treated. If we drove drunk, hit the same car three times, then plowed into a ditch, then had a blood alcohol level rivaling that of President Bush at eighteen or me on St. Patrick’s Day, we would get arrested and have the book thrown at us. The worse the almighty coach will get is probation. I hope the woman he hit sues the pants off that guy. I hope he gets fired. It’s not because I’m an OU fan, because I would be saying the same thing if it was Coach Sampson, or Stoops or anyone who does that.
Now that I’ve shot off a few rounds about that let’s move on to Dick Cheney shooting somebody. I am truly amazed at how powerful the Bush administration is. Dick Cheney shoots someone and the guy he shot apologizes to him! That’s fantastic manipulation right there! In the spirit of that I am going to take this time to apologize for certain things that have happened to me. Here we go…
Amber, I’m sorry I made you cheat on me. I know I was wrong for being in a committed relationship with you and having been in love with you. I am sorry that I displayed nothing but care for you. I can totally understand how you would see that as a detriment. I apologize for making you into the manipulative hooker you turned out to be.
I would like to apologize to President Bush. I’m sorry Mr. President for constantly questioning your poor leadership, your lying and your manipulation of government to reflect your personal beliefs. I can clearly see now that it is my fault you are the worst leader this country has ever seen. Please forgive me.
I would also like to apologize to my ex-roommate Chris. I’m sorry you’re an introverted loser who wears their dream career on their hat. It was clearly my fault you stiffed me out of four hundred bucks and then went ahead and talked trash about me and my friend Jason all over town because you don’t have the talent or motivation to accomplish anything other than creeping people out. My bad.
I would like to apologize to my dad for beating me daily as a child. I’m sorry you hated me. I’m also sorry you broke the remote because you beat me with it. That’s clearly my fault as well. Actually my dad never beat me. I was just making the point that it is ridiculous to apologize for something someone else did to you. Especially when what that thing resulted in your getting shot in the damn face for crying out loud!
Ok. What else can I talk about? President Bush handing the keys to our ports over to a company based out of Dubai? Two of the highjackers from 9-11 were based out of Dubai by the way. Just a little fun fact for you. Perhaps I can talk about how it looks like Roe Vs. Wade is going to get overturned. Yeah. I’ll go with that.
I think that it is harmful for the government to outlaw abortion. Is abortion wrong? As a means of birth control, sure. When some Paris Hilton type is getting an abortion every month because she’s too stupid to use birth control, that’s a little extreme. However abortion, at least for now, is legal. Now if some thirteen year old girl gets attacked and impregnated by her HIV positive uncle, and she needs to get an abortion to save her life, she can get one. She can do that because it is legal. To say that a rape victim is breaking the law because they have an abortion is appalling.
I also fear the logic that dictates because something is against the law that somehow that will curb the action. If that were true there would be no murders or drug use or theft. I’m not condoning some sort of lawless land but to assume that by outlawing abortion you’re saving lives is ludicrous. If anything you’re just putting the person pregnant at danger. Abortion might stop a beating heart but a law isn’t going to stop abortions.
Pro-life means after you’re born too. At least it should mean that.I know a lot of people who are pro-life but are pro-death penalty. That cracks me up. “We can’t kill something before it dies! No! We have to wait until it’s born then we can send it to war!” Abortion is killing potential investors, that’s why people are upset. By investors I mean Republicans.
Perhaps our government could be better put to use investigating why there are soldiers dying in a war based on a lie. Or a lucrative under the table deal concerning our already under protected ports being turned over to a country that has openly shown support for terrorists, who also kill people. Perhaps investigating the travesty that was Hurricane Katrina is in order. Oh wait. They are black and we all know how the government feels about black people, even if they don’t openly say it. Actions speak louder than words and the actions of our government during and since Katrina speak volumes.
So now that I’ve said a whole bunch that warrants a good ol’ fashioned redneck ass kicking, let’s move on to something a little less controversial. Joel’s Black History Fun Fact! Yay!
JOEL’S BLACK HISTORY FUN FACT!
Jaleel White, the actor who played Steve Urkel on Family Matters, turns thirty this year! Happy early birthday Jaleel! Another fun fact,I appeared on Teen, Win Lose, or Draw with the girl who played Laura on Family Matters. That’s kind of cool. Yes it is. Don’t argue with me.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - The Brouhaha by The Beastie Boys. How is it that one group can be so good?
MOVIE - Rashomon. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen. You should check it out. And yes, there are subtitles. Stop being lazy and just go get it.
Holla.
- Joel