Good day all.
I know that Ms. Oklahoma won the Ms. America pageant last night. That’s good news. I know that one of my best friends is en route home after having been in Iraq. That also is good news. However the best news I got all weekend was by way of a little unplanned purchase I made. I was at my favorite store yesterday. I call it ‘Not Wal-Mart’. That’s my ‘clever’ name for Target. I was looking at their novelty t-shirts. I don’t know why. I suppose that’s what boredom and being single does to a man. Anyway I turned around and noticed that they had khakis on sale. I really didn’t need khakis because I’m not a Mexican gangster or a grocery store manager but I figured I’d look. Holy mother of pancakes they were only five dollars FIVE DOLLAR PANTS Whoo-boy was I happy about that. Almost ecstatic. I totally bought a pair, which was good because it just so happened I wasn’t wearing any pants at the time.
So now that we’ve established I’m a massive dork who gets happy about five dollar pants, let’s move on.
There is a Red Cross helicopter that has gone missing in Pakistan. I read that online and next to the article was a picture of said aircraft. As though I should keep an eye out.
Osama Bin Laden released another tape. Watch out America He hates us and is going to attack us I know that it would be bad but I kind of wish he’d either do something about it or shut up already. We get it Osama. You hate us. Osama Bin Laden is like the Vanilla Ice of terrorists. One big hit and then he talks about it for years.
Speaking of one hit wonders I have been tapped to write the page three column on LOOK. Let me know what you guys think. By ‘think’ I mean if you are turned on by unattractive guys who are quick witted and super funny then let me know. That would be dope.
So because of my leg surgery I have not been able to get on the old elliptical trainer yet. I have been on that thing twice then I was side lined by the old surgery. Oh well, I guess sculpting the flab that is my physique into one worthy of not being laughed at will just have to wait.
I received a call from my friend Scott a few days ago and have not heard anything since. He was in Spain when he called. Seeing as how he hasn’t had a drink in over six months, because he was in Iraq, it wouldn’t shock me to find out he’s still in Spain embarking on an impromptu ‘Drunk Across Europe’ tour.
I really miss Dooley’s. That was the coolest bar in the city. Just thought I’d mention it since I’m stuck on ‘random’ right now.
I think I have a crush on the Starbucks girl. She is always really nice to me when I go in there but am always too nervous say anything beyond ‘thanks’ to her. Besides, she’s probably not impressed by someone who pays for their coffee with rolls of pennies.
I have a new favorite hot country singer I’d like to make sweet sweet love to. Miranda Lambert. Good lord is she cute. Now if you could take her looks and match it with a great sense of humor it would be on. Also if you could really lower her standards when it comes to picking boyfriends I’d be a shoe in. If you want to take that as a prayer lord, feel free.
So I have a CD player in my car, finally, but as my luck would have it, the antennae on the car is broken. The motor for it works fine but the antennae does not work. I went to O’Reillys yesterday and asked the guy behind the counter if they had a ‘93 Honda Accord antenna mast. He typed on the computer and after a minute and a half of looking like he was trying to master quantum physics he tells me there is no such thing. I was holding the broken antenna in my hand and said “There is no such replacement part for this?” He then said “What? I though you said mass air flow sensor cuz we ain’t got one of those for a Honda.” How this genius got ‘mass air flow sensor’ out of ‘Accord mast’ is beyond me. I guess that’s why I don’t get all greased up and go work at O’reillys. That’s not mean because every employee at almost every auto parts store looks like they bathe in oil. Anyway they guy also informed me they didn’t have one of what I was looking for either.
I decided to just go to a Honda dealer after that debacle. I walked into the parts department and the guy said they had the exact part and that it was $87.50. Looks like I’m gonna go ahead and wait on replacing the antenna for a good while.
That’s all I’ve got for now. A broken antenna and general distrust of all employees of car part places. Mass air flow sensor indeed!
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Hangin’ Around by The Counting Crows. Because that’s how I feel.
MOVIE - Lord of War. I highly recommend this movie. Why no one is talking about this, it being awards time and all, is beyond me.
Holla.
- Joel