Let’s do this.
I bank at Commercial Federal and, like most banks, they got bought out by a larger bank. I now bank at Bank of the West. I logged on to the new website to see how much money I don’t have. The greeting says ‘A Warm Welcome To Our New Customers’. The problem is that right above that greeting is a picture of a Grizzly Bear in the wild. Really? That’s not too assuring. I guess ‘warm welcome’ means ‘horrific mauling’.
President Bush says we are making ‘amazing progress’ in Iraq. That’s awesome! I had no idea. I mean I had thought differently since I have a brain, but I guess I was wrong. I have friends who are over there who say it is awful and they have no idea what they are doing there, but I guess they haven’t heard the president say what amazing progress we are making. He should make sure he tells the right people. Like how when he proclaimed major combat operations in Iraq were over while he stood under a huge banner reading ‘Mission Accomplished’ he forgot to tell the insurgents. Funny how things like that work.
Hopefully this will get some sort of dialogue started. Is it ever okay to hit a woman? I ask because I clobbered some broad yesterday who cut in front of me at Target and I’m feeling a little guilty.
I have had some people say that when a woman hits a man it’s okay to hit her back because she has, and I’m quoting, ‘stepped into the ring’ at that point. I have even been told by some women that they agree with that. I personally think that’s wrong. I have never hit a woman in my life. The last girl I dated punched, scratched and kicked me. I got popped in the mouth more times than Tina Turner. I never hit her though. It never even crossed my mind. If anyone deserved a good ol fashioned beat down casserole it was her but I wasn’t going to be the one to serve it up. I think that once you hit a kid or a woman, you’ve just stopped being a man.
I am a huge wuss. I’ve never been in a fight and am not one to instigate anything like that. One of the only times I have stepped up to someone was when I saw a guy smack his kid in the mouth at a grocery store. I walked up and helped his six year old daughter off of the floor. He smacked her that hard. She was crying and I said “It’s ok sweetheart. Go stand with that man over there.” She walked over to my friend and I said to her dad “Wanna hit me? I’ll let you. Seriously. Go for it.” He didn’t. My friend who was with me was freaking out because he said he had never seen me act like that. The manager of the store walked up and asked what was going on and I told him. The manager asked that I leave and he said he would take care of it. I really feel sorry for that little girl. I just really don’t get how anyone can hit a child or a woman.
I would just like to know what you guys think about that. Is it alright to hit a woman? I don’t care if you just found out that woman cheated on you or took all of your money. There is no excuse for hitting a woman.
Now that I’ve said that I’m sure women are just gonna walk up to me and smack me upside my pumpkin head. The jokes on you though ladies because your hand will break if you do that. Ha!
The go-to gift, every year, is the popcorn tin with three different types of popcorn. The first to go is always the cheese, followed by the caramel, and then that stale yellow styrofoam popcorn sits there forever. I am proposing collecting all the uneaten popcorn and donating it to the homeless. They’re hungry and living on a steady diet of vodka and free chili can get pretty old. By free chili I mean vodka. We’ll just go ahead and collect all the uneaten popcorn and put them in little sacks. Hoboes need nourishment too. It can be tiring to hold a sign that long.
Thing I’m thankful for today.
Diet Coke.
I really am boring.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Dead Wrong by Notorious B.I.G. featuring Eminem off of Eminem’s Curtain Call and Biggie’s Born Again. The beat on this song is one of the best beats I have ever heard. Seriously. No. I mean it. I wouldn’t lie to you.
MOVIE - Scarface. This movie is the perfect movie for the aspiring Cuban drug lord in your life.
GROUP THAT I WISH WOULD TOUR AGAIN - Beastie Boys. I would do pretty much anything to see them live. Well within reason.
Holla.
-Joel