Hello.
I really wish I had some exciting tale about my day for you, but today was uneventful. It wasn’t good but it also wasn’t bad. It was as though purgatory manifested itself as today.
I really wish something had happened today to tell you about. What if something happens to me and I die tonight? This will be the last thing I’ve ever written. Had something happened to me last night, that would have been fine. Yesterday’s post was funny. I would have been fine with that.
Let me try to think of a funny story. Oh I got it. Here goes.
A long time ago I was living in a two bedroom apartment, by myself, because my previous roommate had threatened to kill me. That’s not the funny part. I’ll tell that story some other time. Anyway, I had been looking for a roommate for a while when I overheard a guy I had worked with mention he was looking for a place to live. I asked him if he wanted to move into my apartment and he said that would be cool.
Just wait, it gets funny. I promise.
So Jon signs a six month lease and moves in. I had worked with him for a year and knew he was a good guy so I wasn’t worried at all. At the very least he didn’t express an interest in wanting to kill me, and that’s always a bonus.
He had lived in the apartment with me for about three weeks. One night we were sitting on the couch watching TV when I noticed a necklace with a ring on it he was wearing. I had either never noticed it before or he had never had it on before. Either way, my unintentional obnoxious curiosity got the best of me, as it oft does, and I asked him about it. I asked him whose ring it was and he told me it was his fiancee’s. I had no knowledge of him having ever mentioned being engaged, but I have the attention span of a gnat on crack, or some other appropriate analogy, so perhaps he had told me that. That seemed like something I would have remembered though.
I ask Jon what happened with the engagement and he told me that they had broken up. I asked why, obnoxious curiosity again, and Jon said, “Because he moved to Dallas.” What? Did he just say ‘he’? I said, “You mean the guy who your fiancee cheated on you with moved to Dallas and she went with him?” At that time jumping to conclusions was one of my worst qualities. Not unlike how I am today but back then I was a lot happier and a lot lighter.
After a few minutes, with my un-answered question still hanging in the air like a fog of awkwardness, Jon took a deep breath and said, “There is something I have to tell you Joel. I’m gay.” Until that moment in my life I had never faced living with someone who was gay. It was the easiest thing in the world to deal with though. I weighed my options in about two seconds. “Should I tell Jon I’m kind of uncomfortable with this or get half off the bills? Gonna go with half off the bills.” He was kind of nervous about it and I told him it was cool. It was half off the bills after all.
We sat there in silence for a few more minutes watching TV and I finally asked him. “So you, uh, you don’t, uh, find, uh, well, me attractive do you?” Before I had even finished he said “Oh god no. Not at all. Jesus.” I was really relieved. That relief was short lived though.
I sat there for a few minutes wondering why Jon was so non-apprehensively adamant about not finding me attractive. I wasn’t bad looking at the time. I mean I didn’t look like Shrek at the time, like I do now, so I guess I was ‘ok’ looking. I certainly felt I was good looking enough to have someone find me attractive. It was really getting to me. I finally turned to him and said “Now you know I’m not gay, but what the hell man. Why don’t you find me attractive?” Jon said, “Because you’re too nice a guy. I’d just end up hurting you.” That seemed like a fair enough answer. I guess.
I am glad that I lived with Jon because I learned that so much emphasis is placed on things that really don’t matter. When some of my other friends found out Jon was gay, they would ask how I could hang out with a gay guy. I would tell people that he was my friend before he was gay. I wish more people could see things that way.
Someone is my friend before they’re black or gay or Republican or whatever. It’s just so inconsequential. I will love my friends and family for who they are, not what they are. That’s not always easy but it is the only way to truly get along with people.
That’s the best story you’re getting out of me today. Sorry kiddos.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Poison by Bell Biv Devoe. I swear to you I am listening to Poison by Bell Biv Devoe right now. By choice. A friend of mine let me borrow the album so it’s now on my computer. I love that song. It makes me long for the days of the helpful rapper. BBD just wanted to help. “Never trust a big butt and a smile.” That advice has saved me on many occasions. Well not really but I appreciate their message. Thanks BBD!
MOVIE - Donnie Darko - It’s the second best movie Patrick Swayze has been in. The first? Black Dog of course. How could you even ask?
THING I’D BETTER DO TOMORROW - Do something blog-worthy.
Holla.
- Joel