Hello.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful July afternoon. What’s that? It’s October? Huh. I couldn’t tell because it’s hot as crap outside! Son of a gun I hate this weather. This weather makes me remember why I never want to go to Mexico. Well that and I think it’s annoying whenever some kid runs up to me and tries to sell me Chiclets. I said no once to this kid who was selling Chiclets near where I park my car and he stabbed me. Should have bought the Chiclets. That’s a good piece of advice no matter what the situation.
So it’s come time again for me to get a little ‘ranty’. “But Joel we’ve enjoyed your stupidity up until this point. Why now? Why would you ruin a perfectly good Tuesday with a rant?” Because I have no control over what I write. Well not really. Almost everything I write is at the request of a demon named Bongo Phalanxix that possesses my hands and types the entries for me. Don’t hate me, hate Bongo Phalanxix. He’s originally from New Orleans but needed a host body so I figured I’d be nice. The door’s always open at soul de Joel. Like most things I think are nice gestures, the idea kind of backfired. Bongo never pays the rent and makes me yell at strangers. I really hate that guy.
Nothing’s funnier than jokes about demonic possession. Well almost nothing. So here comes the rant. This is all me too. Not Bongo. Well not this time.
I got into a discussion with someone recently over how it appears that religious people just can’t seem to handle that people are gay. The discussion reached the point where it was presented that if gay people keep choosing to be gay, there won’t be anyone left to procreate. This leads me to a couple of opinions I would like to share.
First, I don’t believe people choose to be gay. Science has proved this. People are genetically pre-disposed to be attracted to certain things. People choose what to eat or where to go on a weekend. People don’t choose who or what they are attracted to. I didn’t choose to be attracted to bitchy girls with no personality and weird looking noses who have no self esteem. Basically I’m saying that I didn’t choose to find women attractive. Just like ninety percent of women didn’t choose to find me un-attractive. That’s not a choice, that’s common sense. For God’s Sake look at me!
There also seems to be a bit of concern that certain textbooks in schools recognize gay couples, which, somehow, means that a child will ‘choose’ to be gay. People have interpreted this as condoning the action. That’s like saying if you teach about murder than a child will become a murderer. To recognize something is not to condone something. The fact is there are gay couples with kids. Why make it more difficult on a kid than it already is. It sucks to be a kid. Remember? Who cares if a kid has two dads or two moms? It’s so inconsequential. “But if a kid grows up in a house with gay parents that kid’s gonna grow up gay!” It’s been proven that there is no more likelihood of a child being gay if raised by a gay family as opposed to a straight family. Move on.
Second, why is less people such bad thing? Who cares if we can’t procreate? Have you been anywhere? We don’t need anymore people. We’ve got enough and even some of us that are here are iffy. Look at me. I don’t do anything that’s worth anything good. I work for a huge soulless corporation and then write a blog and sometimes do comedy .The world could, and will, move on when I’m gone. We don’t need to replace me. I’m serious. Hypothetically, if somehow gay people were the only ones left on the planet, I’m pretty sure there are gay people that would be willing to take one for the team. If there is one thing we’ll never run out of, it’s people.
These are just my opinions, and that’s all I’m sharing. I might be wrong though and I’m not afraid to admit it if I am.
I get a lot of comments from people, and I appreciate them. I don’t like that sometimes what I write my be taken by some as a reason to feel alienated. That’s not my intention. Let me put something out there that we can all agree on. Next time you see a precious little baby, punch it in the face. Damn you Bongo Phalanxix!
RIGHT NOW
SONG – Where’d All The Good People go by Jack Johnson. I’m on this weird kick where I’ve been alternating between Jack Johnson and Nine Inch Nails. It’s like I have some sort of audio bipolar disorder.
MOVIE – The Shining. Who was the actor that was so good in that movie? He really captured the intensity of the character and was quite frightening. Oh yeah, Steven Weber. That guy from Wings totally put Jack Nicholson to shame. I actually am going to recommend Kubrick’s Shining. The one with Jack. When that kid is on the big wheel it still creeps me out. It’s unfair for me to snap on Steven Weber like that too. He is in a great movie called Sour Grapes which was written and directed by Larry David. It’s in the bargain bin at most places but pick it up.
PLACE I’LL BE TONIGHT – Your mom’s. Kidding. The Loony Bin. I’m not performing but I am going to see the Bill Parker comedy school showcase they are having tonight. That should be interesting.
Please tell me if I should go into how I think people with children seem to lose all interesting characteristics and trade them in for boring, kid related anecdotes.
Holla.
- Joel