So it has been awhile and I know that none of you have been wondering where I’ve been. Well I’m about to tell you! I know! You’re pretty lucky to have an anonymous internet writer who cares so much about you.
Comicfest went well. The show was good and the turnout was ok. Everyone did alright, however, Chris Dowell, Nathan Anderson and Joel Panther really knocked it out of the park. Those three were great.
I went to a couple of bars after the show Saturday. Drinkz and Rane. What is it with club owners in this city trying to spell things in a hip and clever manner? It’s misspelling. It’s not cool. Spell it right. Drinkz, Rane and Skky are all goofy names as it is, but to spell it wrong. Wow. I can’t tell you how much that bothers me. Just because you spell a word different doesn’t mean you’re hip or cool, it means you’re retarded.
I’m sorry about the tragedy of Katrina, but, thanks for the NBA team New Orleans! There’s your silver lining. Shaq! Lebron! Mello! Man oh man is this gonna be awesome. I really hope that the Hornets decide to stay in this town. The only thing we have going for us in OK is the Sooners, and I think we all know how well that’s going. Hey Sooner’s fans, here is an idea for you. Take all that money you were going to spend on a bowl game trip and buy some season tickets for the Hornets. Either way you’re wasting money on sports so it all works out!
With the NBA players coming to town I wish I owned a bling store. I would make a killing. “Joel’s Bling Shack”. Or, to fit in with other businesses in Bricktown I could call it “Joel’s Bling Shaq”. That spelling still makes sense though. Ok. Here’s another. “Joel’s House o’ Da Bling Bling” I’m Irish so that might work. Wait! I could own a place called “The Joel Grill” and it could be a platinum grill store! (For the crackas out there ‘grill’ is slang for ‘teeth’) Holla! So much money to be made with them mofos rollin up to tha OKC. You be knowin! Fo real!
I’ll bet any amount of money that once the NBA season starts there will be an increase in the number of pregnant strippers. Trust me.
Bob “Gilligan” Denver is dead. Don “Maxwell Smart” Adams is dead. If I were Don “Barney Fife” Knotts I’d be extra careful these next few days.
The President says we should conserve fuel. The President also wanted to make sure we continued to breathe air and drink water. Man that guy is a dope. I don’t mean a loveable dope either like a Sean Penn in Fast Times or the Three Stooges. I mean a dope like Screech from Saved by the Bell. The kind of dope that makes you hurt just to think about. The kind of inept dope that shouldn’t be allowed to run a McDonalds let alone a country. Wait. That’s not fair. People at McDonalds actually have a work ethic. Sorry.
I know I should write more, and I plan on it, but I just wanted to say hey to all the person who reads this and close with something that I’m sure will get danders up. Whatever that means. I’m not calling anyone out on this or anything so calm down. It just so happens this was something I’d been thinking about. There seems to be something I like to call ‘subjective religion’. There seems to be a lot of people who follow what beliefs are convenient for them to follow. I don’t think that is how religion works. “I believe this part of it, but not this part.” If one is going to take their teachings literally, then what makes some of those teachings irrelevant and other teachings not? It seems that religion, if it is one thing, it is hypocritical. If you agree or disagree please go ahead and leave a comment. I’d like to get some feedback.
I also think there is a difference between blind faith and blind ideology. Just thought I’d throw that onto the fire while I’m at it.
RIGHT NOW
SHOW – Arrested Development on FOX. The funniest network American Sitcom since Seinfeld.
SONG – Jesusland by Ben Folds. Every time I hear it I think of Oklahoma.
MOVIE – Not the Hulk. Man that thing was bad. I haven’t figured out why, but I will. If you want a super hero movie with Jennifer Connely that doesn’t suck, go get the Rocketeer. Man that movie is sweet. I love it.
I hope I was entertaining enough for all of you person. I would also like to solicit OKC right now. If anyone knows a funny, attractive, nice girl who likes morons that write blogs and watch too much TV and do standup comedy and have jobs they hate, go ahead and leave a comment. I don’t believe somone like that exists that isn’t already married though. You can try to tell me about her because I think it’s fun to read lies. Seriously. Have you read the 9-11 report? ZING!
Holla.
-Joel