Greetings OKC.
There’s a lot to talk about so let’s go ahead and get started. I know all the person that reads this has been waiting for me to write. Here goes.
First off, let’s talk about Katrina. This is pretty bad. I do wish people would stop saying that this is ‘our tsunami’. Almost half a million people died in the tsunami. This is nothing like that. That’s like saying 9-11 was our Nagasaki. No it wasn’t. Is it horrible? Yes. Have people died? Yes. Is the majority of the loss of a material nature? Yes. I’m sure that you can buy another couch.
I wish they would stop showing the footage of Harvey Jackson. I believe that is his name. He is the older African American guy who a reporter stopped and he told her how he had just lost his wife. It is heartbreaking to hear that story. His wife is gone. It drove the reporter to tears. I was devastated when I saw that exchange. I feel even worse that he is being exploited. I do not blame the reporter. I do blame the new agencies for rolling that on what is like a continuous loop. That is the most tragic thing to happen to that guy and we have to see it over and over? Decorum is dead.
There is a huge chasm in this country between the rich and the poor. This chasm transcends the differences we have in race, sexual preference or political affiliation. I know that my little blog isn’t going to make a difference but I would like to think that it might. Even if it’s just to one rich guy. Here is some advice for you. The next time you’re evacuating the town you live in, in your SUV that seats eight, let’s go ahead and stop and pick up some poor people on the way out. I am seeing way too many people that were left behind. I know some chose to stay but some may have not been able to get out because they might not have a car. Go ahead and throw all that Eddie Bauer crap your wife made you load up the car with and make some room in your car for people to sit. Rich or poor no one wants to stay during a hurricane if they don’t have to. In the end it’s not how much money you have but how many people you’ve helped.
It’s ok. I’m getting to the humor. I have to get through all this ranting though. This will all be over in a minute.
Kudos to the President for cutting his vacation short. I’m glad that he did that. I get the feeling he really cares about this tragedy and ………what? How much oil are we not able to pump? Oh. Never mind than. I apologize for jumping the gun on commending that cowboy. He has a thirty-six percent approval rating. Pretty soon FOX News isn’t even going to be able to say anything good about him.
The National Guard is having to be called in from other states to help with the hurricane because so many of them are in Iraq. I really hope nothing else bad happens in this country. That’s not a joke. Hey, at least we don’t have to use any of our emergency reserve fuel for………oh. Never mind.
Maybe we should tell the president that the hurricane had something to do with 9-11 and then maybe we can get him to devote as much time and resources helping people as we’ve spent on the war in Iraq. Hey, that lie worked when he used it on the entire nation so maybe it will work on him.
I would like to go ahead and urge everyone to go to www.redcross.org and make a donation. It doesn’t matter how much you donate. A little can go a long way if we all help just a little bit.
When my roommate found that New Orleans was flooded he said,” Oh no! Now where will girls go wild.” I thought that was funny.
Now that I’ve alienated all the FOX News watching Bush supporters out there, I’d better stop while I’m ahead.
So this past weekend my best friend Billy got married. I kind of always thought I would be the first to get married in our little group of friends but, alas, it looks like I’ll be the last. Your loss ladies! By ladies I mean ‘me’.
I was the best man so I had to give the toast. I guess I did alright because other people told me I did. I can never tell if I am doing good at something or not. I said that Billy was proof that you don’t have to be young or good looking to get a hot wife. ZING! Take that! Yeah. I know. I could have been funnier. I suck.
I met this girl who I really liked. We talked for a long time and she made me laugh. She thought I was pretty funny too. We had a lot in common. It was great. That whole last part is what I would have written if I thought God liked me.
So this past weekend I went to go get the Comicfest posters done at Kinko’s in Norman. We had a problem with the original ones so we had to go with a different picture. I had originally gone to the one on I-240 and Penn. They were super helpful so I thought that the people in Norman would be just as helpful. What a fool I was. I walked in and when I told them what I needed the fifty year old guy who worked there just told me to go to the computer and print out a copy. I told him I wasn’t sure how to print out a poster and he looked annoyed. Now I’m not one to harp on people who work a job like that. I get it. You’re over fifty and you work at Kinko’s. Two reasons right there to drink heavily. I told him not to worry about it and I tried to print out a poster like he told me to. It didn’t come out. I decided to just go to the one on 240.
When I got up there I told them what I needed and the lady asked if I had it on disc, I did, and she helped me print it out and because one of them didn’t come out right she didn’t charge me. So the lesson is not to avoid Kinko’s altogether. Just avoid the one in Norman. Those people aren’t helpful and seem to hold it against me that they’re middle aged alcoholics who have a job at a copy store. The people on 240 were super nice and helpful and I’ll stop with this boring tale right now.
Because of the delay with posters, they won’t be up downtown until this weekend. This isn’t a selling point but I cannot stress enough how important it is to buy Comicfest tickets now. With the buzz about the documentary and based on last year’s sales we will sell out again. Besides that it will be the funniest thing you see this year. That’s only barring you don’t watch any episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. That’s the funniest show on TV. Chuck Norris has all the emotional range of someone who’s in a coma. I was gonna say Terry Schiavo but that’s so five minutes ago.
So the MTV video music awards were this past Sunday. There’s three more hours MTV owes me. I remember when my ex-girlfriend and I lived together we would wake up on a Saturday and start watching TV. We would turn to MTV and make fun of how stupid the Real World is and then seven hours later we had wasted all that time. “Oh no! Ruthie might be dead!” That was precious time wasted we could have spent arguing. Recently I have found myself being unable to turn away from Room Raiders or Date My Mom. Arguably the two most useless shows on TV but they get me every time. I don’t know why I do it. Oh yeah I’m an idiot.
Back to the Awards. The best performance of the night was Kanye and Jamie Foxx. They tore the roof off that place like a proverbial hurricane. Too soon? I’ll stop. The weakest performance was a tie between Ludicrous and Kelly Clarkson. Now I know I’ve mentioned how I like Kelly Clarkson before but why would you close the show with her? It was a pretty lame performance.As far as Luda goes, when you’re out performed by MC Hammer you might want to step up yo game fool.
The best part of the whole show was the return of Beavis and Butthead. I loved that show and if I had Bill Gates money I would totally pay Mike Judge whatever he wanted to bring them back. If I had Bill Gate’s money I would probably be too busy with all tha ladies. You know what I’m talkin’ bout! I’m such a dork.
Big G-Unit ups for Fitty Cent gettin a few f-bombs off before they could bleep it.
So I have made a commitment to my friend Brian that I will find him a girl within the next year. There’s no money on it or anything lurid like that. I just think that Brian has a lot going for him and he is my friend. “But why not help yourself Joel? You seem witty and funny.” I am. However so is Brian. The difference is that he has his stuff together. He looks like Brenden Frasier. I do not. He drives a nice car. I do not. I’m pretty sure he has money in the bank. I do not. Well not that much anyway. He’s super cool but can’t seem to find anyone. He’s young and has never cheated or messed around on anyone. I’m basically pimping my friend Brian. This should prove to be interesting.
I noticed that I have been featured in the Blog Bits of the look @ OKC. I am trying to come up with witty things that will appear in print but I can’t think of any right now. Wait! No. I don’t have it. Wait! Nope. Nothing.
So as I think the funny fuel has run out of the comedy car I’ll go ahead and end here. Read that last line again and you’ll know how unfunny I just got.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Revolution 909 by Daft Punk. It will make you wish you weren’t at work more than I’m sure you already do.
MOVIE - Sin City. I have watched it three times since I got it last week and it is really a good movie. Thank you Lord for Jessica Alba. I guess you might like me after all.
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY CONTROVERSIAL TITLE OF A MOVIE BASED ON THE HURRICANE - Katrina and The Big Wet Easy.
All joking aside please visit www.redcross.org and make a donation.
Holla.
- Joel