Hello OKC.
Let me start by apologizing to those of you offended by my mini-diatribe about the obese yesterday. It was a bit harsh and I have gotten some negative feedback on it. By negative feedback I mean some verbal beatings. I never meant to hurt anyone’s feelings but I take responsibility for doing so and I am sorry.
My intention is not to take pot shots at easy targets either. If I did that there would be a whole lot more posts about the president, ex-girlfriends or the mentally disabled. I don’t want people to think I’m mean. To prove to you that I am sorry I’ll go ahead and let you guys know some things about me that one could use against me as they are pretty shameful.
I look like Drew Carey and John Goodman’s love child. Don’t ask. Even better don’t picture it in your mind.
I can’t read. I can only write. It is the weirdest curse ever.
My teeth are crooked. Not like Buscemi jacked but kind of crooked.
I don’t talk to women because I am ashamed of where I live and what I drive, which is actually one in the same.
I stayed up last night watching taped episodes of the Price Is Right I hadn’t seen. That’s right. I’m a loser.
Speaking of ex-girlfriends here are some of the things that have been said to me that have made me feel like crap. Dredging this up ought to complete my penance for ridiculing the obese…….
“No one thinks your funny.”
“You’re fat.”
“You’re a loser.”
“I was just pretending to be in love with your for three years to see if I was because I thought I might be eventually.”
What I said about the obese was mean and harsh and I am sorry. For future reference let me also apologize to illiterate seven year olds, that old lady who lives next door to me that looks like a man and everyone else. There. That ought to do it.
-Joel