So last night I went to Buffalo Wild Wings in Moore. Why? Because that is where I ended up. In yo face mamacita! I don’t know. Too much caffeine. Sorry. BWW is really special. I don’t know where else I could hear Lynard Skynard while…………DAMMIT! I just spilled coffee all down my shirt! It hurts and now I look more retarded than usual. Damn. What was I talking about? Oh yes. The searing hot coffee staining my shirt and burning me! Holy crap does this hurt! Sweet mother of java does this burn! Jiminy Christmas and other related and altered expletives!
Isn’t BWW an acronym for dating services like Big White Woman or something? I don’t know.
Our waitress was ok. She was no Jack-Wuh-Lynn from the brewery though. I looked at my friend and told him I wanted Jacquelyn as our waitress and that’s when he slapped me and told me to shut up about her already.
We left before Karaoke started, which was good. If I wanted to hear crappy music sung by sub par ‘singers’ I would have gone to the American Idols show. SNAPAROONY! In your face Bo Bice! Ha!
It turns out that Carrie Underwood read what I wrote about her and cancelled our date. Thanks a lot Carrie. My heart is broken and now I’ll have to devise some other devious way to get free candy for life.
I am in a pretty goofy mood. “Is it the mescaline?” You bet it is! Wait. Does mescaline mean coffee? It doesn’t. Well never mind than.
I think I got burnt so bad just now that my chest is going to end up looking like Edward James Olmos’ face. There goes that calendar modeling job I didn’t think about until I wrote this line.
COMICFEST TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW! They are ten dollars before the show and fifteen day of. It is at Stage Center in Downtown OKC on Saturday September 24 at eight pm. For tickets you can call 405 270-4801.
I will be at the Reverend Horton Heat show tomorrow night at The Brewery so make sure you go up to every gargantuan headed stranger you see and ask them if they’re me. If it isn’t me it will be pretty weird for you. If it is me it will be even weirder because in a way you’re stalking me. Either way you’ll be disappointed.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Get Your Freak On by Missy Elliot – This song is one of the best songs to get you going I’ve ever heard. I want to learn to spin just so I can spin this song. It’s a shame I doubt I’ll be able to ever spin vinyl though. I am half pirate and have a hook for a hand. That makes a whole lot of things awkward.
MOVIE – When Harry Met Sally – I love this movie because it is funny and also it shows a pre-botoxed Meg Ryan. Remember that? Back when she was cute? Yeah. That seems like a lifetime ago. Poor poor Meg.
NEXT POSTING – It will be witty and I’m pretty sure self deprecating.
Holla.
-Joel