Good evening OKC. I wish there was a cooler way to say that. Perhaps, OKE City? Perhaps O-K to tha C? Perhaps I’m a doofus. How big of a doofus? Don’t let the suspense kill you. Read on and find out.
I got my haircut today and usually I am in a pretty good mood after a haircut. I think it’s because after a haircut I look like an even bigger dork than I already am. Yeah. I didn’t think it was possible either. Now maybe I’m wrong, and I really don’t want to sound mean or anything, but if a woman is cutting hair, and she is over fifty, isn’t that depressing? I just get the feeling that when I see certain people of a certain age and of a certain disposition that at some point in their life they probably killed someone at a truck stop. Don’t act like I’m the only one that thinks that. If a woman is cutting my hair and I notice a fading, homemade, tattoo of a rose with the name Jo-Jo or Carlos under it on her forearm and a tattoo tear under her eye, I’m pretty sure she did time. I’m also pretty sure that if she, or anyone from Mabel Basset Women’s Correctional facility, reads this, I’m in for a world of hurt. The kind of hurt that only a woman with a shiv can inflict on a human being.
Understand that I don’t want to bad mouth where I get my haircut so I won’t give out the name of the store. I will say that the CUT was SUPER. The woman who cut my hair was really nice. I always feel bad for the person who hast to trim my melon. It is huge. The last girl I dated special ordered a hat from Hat World as a gift and even that didn’t fit. The Hat World employee was even kind enough to remark, in his stoner haze, that my head was ‘like uh aliens’ and that I had ‘the biggest head I ever seen’. Thanks Hat World guy. You know what they say about guys with big heads though? C’mon ladies. You know what I’m talking bout. That’s right. Guys with big heads are known to have been mistaken for starring in a movie with Cher about a grossly deformed kid named Rocky Dennis.
I had an idea today that I think is pretty good. There are few ideas that have the possibility of making someone happy and at the same time freaking them out. Well not many that are legal. Anyhow, I saw a homeless woman today as I walked into the First National Center for lunch. When you go into the North entrance of the building there is a Hallmark store and I wondered when the last time was that homeless woman got a card may have been. How did I know she was homeless? Well she looked like Whitney Houston on a bad three day crack bender. The woman also had on an ‘I’m Homeless’ t-shirt. Anyhow, I started to notice all of these unhappy people downtown and wondered when the last time someone got them a card was. I think there should be a day where everyone just buys a card and gives it to a stranger. Not anyone you have a crush on or someone you admire, but a stranger that you’ve never met. This will make them smile and also really freak them out. That’s my euphoric idea for society. One of many but I don’t want to sound like some oversensitive weirdo. On with the whatever this is!
What is the best way to approach a girl? You tell me. I’m all ears and desperation.
RIGHT NOW
SONG - Jaan Pahechan Ho by Mohammed Rafi. Ten cool points to anyone who can tell me what that is from. It is one of my all time favorite songs. I have no idea what they’re saying and I think I may prefer that.
TV SHOW - Speed Racer. I cannot go into how much or why I love this show right now, but trust me. I absolutely love that show.
I will write more tomorrow unless tomorrow never comes or you don’t want me to or I lose my fingers in a freak pencil sharpener accident and am unable to type.
Rest in peace Mr. Blue.
- Joel