Hola OKC.
So yesterday was pretty good. My buddy Dave from Denver and I went to go eat at Pepe Delgadoes on campus corner in Norman. Best Mexican food ever. I love that place. After that we tried to find an old friend of ours who works at Deep Fork. He wasn’t there. Then we went over to the Loony Bin and said hello to Terry and Larry as Dave hadn’t seen them since the last time he was here. We hung out and played some pool waiting for Jared the bartender/comedian/revolutionary to get there. Jared? Best bartender ever. Yes. Ever.After that, Dave headed home and I went out to Club Rodeo.
When I got there my ears were treated to Moore’s favorite son, Toby Keith. By ‘treated’ I mean ‘assaulted’. My favorite Toby Keith song ever? The ‘Spirit of Oklahoma’ song he did for that channel nine commercial about six years ago. I loved that song because it was only thirty seconds of Toby Keith. That’s twice the number of seconds of fame he deserves. On with the story!
I was walking around looking for my friends and quickly realized that if I wasn’t going to drink or smoke, I would need some other vice to carry me through the evening. Red Bull it is! After drinking two of those I continued on my journey through the sea of drunk strippers who had the night off and thirty-five year old frat boys who still haven’t figured out college ended long ago.
I finally found my friends, Heather and her husband Shawn and Amy and her husband Brandon. (happy birthday Amy) They got there long before I did so they had all been drinking for a while. We hung out and I had a pretty good time. Here are some highlights that I have chosen to not put in story form as I am only as creative as (insert word that would make good analogy here)
* Huge fight where one of the security guys got his ear cut up. Bar fights just prove that as a species we haven’t really advanced as far as we’d like to think.
* Some girl grabbed my butt. I don’t know who it was but you’re welcome.
* Saw a guy so drunk he knocked over an entire table of full beers. The girls at the table weren’t too happy but they talked to him anyway and said it was ok I guess because he was all flirty with them. So the key is to knock over a table of drinks and then act like a moron. Got it.
* Saw a bull rider get stepped on. I always root for the bull in that situation, especially there, because they treat those animals so bad. I saw some dude keep stabbing at this one bull with a long piece of metal. It was pretty brutal. The bull doesn’t know any better. He runs out of that gate thinking he’s free only to find he’s got someone on his back. He tries as hard as he can to buck that person off by kicking and twisting and then when he finally does get that person off his back he is so exhausted he just gives up and heads back to a life of boredom. Not unlike marriage.
* Number of girls that talked to me-0.
Number of girls I talked to-0.
I just don’t know how to talk to women. Well I do, but not in that ‘hitting on someone’ type of way. The problem is that I don’t wear a tattered Abercrombie hat or act like a complete dope and actually respect women. That or I just don’t talk to the ladies. One of the two I’m sure.
Here is something for the women out there who love that Pussycat Dolls song. It’s the song that says ‘Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?’.That song came on last night and women just piled onto the dance floor. Guess what ladies, that song is about a woman that wants to seduce your boyfriend/husband because she thinks your boyfriend/husband can do better than you. Yeah. Good one. It’s like when Usher’s first single came out about how he wanted to leave who he was with for someone else. I don’t get how women love that guy. He was singing about cheating on his girlfriend. Wow. I just don’t get it. If I wrote a song that flat out said ‘I hate my girlfriend and wish I could cheat on her’ but the song had a good beat and some hot young dude sang it I bet women would love it. Let me know what you think OKC.
After Rodeo I went to my friend Naked Dave’s for a party he was throwing. It was a pretty good time I guess. I saw a bunch of friends of mine I hadn’t seen in a while so it was really cool.
Alright. I am about to go church (driving range) so I’ll wrap this up.
Of The Moment
Song- Rewind by the Nappy Roots. Until I got it off of iTunes I seriously thought in the chorus they were saying ‘Green Wine’. I’m an idiot.
Movie - Royal Tennenbaums. Probably my favorite Wes Anderson movie. I have only seen Rushmore once though so I’ll have to check that out again but Tennenbaums is awesome from start to finish. I have seen it about thirty times.
Restaurant in Bricktown with a country singer’s name in it - Crystal Gayle’s Gyro Palace
TV show that freaks me out - Sabado Gigante on Univision. I guarantee you that if you turn it to that channel at any time of day you will see either the hottest women in the world or the strangest thing on TV but Sabado Gigante is special. Last night I saw hot ladies throwing cottage cheese on this guy who was sitting in a tub singing. I don’t know Spanish but I’m sure that wouldn’t make it make any more sense.
Holla.
- Joel