JOEL DAVID NewsOK.com Blogging Community

I’m proud to be involved with Oklahoma City production company 796 Entertainment. 796 Entertainment is a fast growing and successful locally owned company that specializes in comedy based projects. 796 Entertainment has produced web series, live comedy shows and is currently embarking on making it’s first feature length film.

In the meantime, 796 Entertainment has ventured into the world of podcasting. You can hear the first podcast at http://podcastsdontsuck.podbean.com/ . Each day a new show will post that will help make your time at work pass a little faster by bringing you free and funny programs. Tell your friends!

Check it out and let me know what you think.

796 Entertainment’s Podcasts Don’t Suck. Free never sounded so funny.

- Joel

Again, nothing about the subject line. I’m just trying to get Google hits. We’ll see if that works.

These past few months have been a roller coaster ride of epic proportions. My grandma passed away, I got fired and I’ve had 32 surgeries. I know, I know. Enough with the negativity! I get it. Want something positive? Alright. I got to see Dave Matthews last night. That was great.

I’ve seen Dave Matthews three times. The first was with Amber, the ex. It was a good show and sitting under the stars listening to Crash with the woman you love is a great thing. The arguing on the car ride back from Dallas and the emotional disaster of a break up and resulting cynicism concerning relationships was definitely something I could have gone without, but still, it was a good show. Almost worth it.

The second time I saw Dave Matthews was shortly after Amber and I had broken up and that was super fun good times. I ran into some friends of hers and they asked me how she was. Why is it when you break up with someone you’re expected to know how they’re doing? Whatever. Anyhow it was a good show but the sound in the Ford center leaves much to be desired depending on where you sit. Still though, it was Dave Matthews so I can’t complain.

Last night however was probably the best time I’ve had watching Dave. I went with my friends, The Blacks. That’s their last name, not a racist thing. Calm down. It was at Redhawks stadium and sounded unbelievable. It was great. I realized that Dave has provided a running soundtrack of my life for a long time. Perhaps that’s indicative of my lack of coolness since apparently liking Dave Matthews equals white dorkiness but I’ve never been one to not be dorky or white. It’s in my genes I think.

Dave played for almost three hours and at no point did he let me down. I’m sure he and the band will sleep better knowing that. I’m not coming off that concert high people suffer from either. I’m talking about the kind of high where they see a great show and then for weeks on end all they listen to is that group’s music and talk about how they are their favorite band only to have that wear off within about three months. Kind of like when you were a kid and went to Jesus camp and were all fired up for the lord then you got back to the real world and realized soul saving is probably not best left to over zealous teenagers. Ok, maybe that was just me.

Moving on.

I read today where a liquor baron donated a bunch of money to a kid with a tumor. Nothing against tumor having youngsters, but I think I’m a pretty good candidate for some generosity at the hands of a billionaire. Lost job? Check. Surgeries almost exceeding my years on this earth? Check. Death of a loved one? Check. No moola? Check. I’m just saying is all. Heck, there’s little I wouldn’t do for money at this point. Don’t get any ideas if you’re a crazy pimp. It hasn’t got that bad. Yet.

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SONG - Pay for What You Get by Dave Matthews Band off of Under The Table and Dreaming - Dave Matthews Band is probably the best band ever! I’ve been to listening to nothing BUT Dave for about 24 hours now! Whoops. I’m a hypocrite. Dang. Actually this song is probably the perfect break up song. Another good break up song? That last song on Dr. Dre’s album The Chronic. The title is unfit for print here, but trust me. It’s a good one.

MOVIE - Garden State - Probably because Dave Matthew’s music makes me all sappy and sentimental. I’m so silly.

BEST PIECE OF INFORMATION I GOT TOO LATE - Paul McCartney stayed at The Skirvin last week. I’m not lying when I tell you had I not had to have surgery last Friday my good friend Matt Brown and myself were prepared to hop in my car and go down Route 66 on a trek to find Sir Paul McCartney. I have a copy of Sgt. Pepper’s on vinyl that would look so much cooler with his autograph on it. Paul’s, not Matt’s.

KIND OF DISAPPOINTING THING THAT JUST OCCURRED TO ME - The Okie Blog Awards are probably in the planning stages. I’ve been nominated every year since I started my blog. Too bad I haven’t been posting as regularly as normal because then I might have a shot at not winning again. Sure, not winning sucks, but not having a chance to not win is even worse.

COOL THING YOU HAVE TO DO - Type in caps! It’s fun! Aside from that I’ve been involved with 796 Entertainment’s Podcasts Don’t Suck. It’s a daily podcast that will start being posted this Monday. It should also be available on iTunes as well. Come Monday I’ll post the link and you can listen for hilarity! Hilarity or perhaps you’re just really weak willed and looking for a leader, in which case I’ll do it.

- Joel
www.myspace.com/joeldavidd

In an effort to nurture my lack of creativity, I wanted to post something that would be a tad more interactive than previous posts involving TK bashing or Obama praising. People get enough of that these days, especially if they know me.

If you have any problem that’s needs solving, or you’re feeling goofy, e-mail me at joeldavidd@gmail.com and ask away. I may not have an answer for you, but I can make one up. Just like every date and job interview I’ve ever been on.

- Joel

This post has nothing to do with singles in your area. Sorry desperately lonely folks. I’m just trying to get more Google search hits. I’m manipulating the system in an attempt to get people to read what I write. Perhaps it would help if I wrote more often and didn’t spend so much time holding a sign at intersections asking people for money. I saw a one armed man holding a sign asking for money the other day. That’s commitment to your career. The man lobbed his arm off for sympathy. That’s commendable.

I’m still unemployed because I got fired for being sick. They tried to tell me I got fired because I told someone I wanted to get fired. This of course is not taking into consideration I was told I was fired for being sick. Six times. Brilliant. They claim I somehow manipulated my physical well being in an attempt to lose my job. I guess the joke is on me because I have to have surgery again tomorrow. Number 31. But I’ve already been fired. Wow. I’m a fool!

I think the Dark Knight’s reign over the box office will come to an end this weekend. A movie of epic comedic proportions comes out Friday. Tropic Thunder? Nope. Beer For My Horses, the Toby Keith comedy. You read that right. I am excited about his new movie coming out. It should be “great”. What I love about this movie is a large part of it takes place in Oklahoma. How do I know this without having seen the movie? I have a signed shooting script from the film. Signed by the man himself. It’s on my autograph wall. He’s in good company what with Bill Clinton, The Flaming Lips and Matthew Brown keeping him company. I’m pretty sure they’re all Toby fans. It’s odd. After I hung it on my wall all of my dreams were in red white and blue and involved my being angry at the Dixie Chicks for no reason and drinking gravy. Weird.

Despite having seen the trailer, surprisingly the script is more than three pages long. I thought the Toby Keith penned script would read like this…

NON-FORD TRUCKS BLOW UP.
I MAKE OUT WITH PRETTY LADY.
I ELBOW MEXICANS IN THE FACE.
THE END.

Nope. It’s much longer and less funny than I had imagined. I also love how a movie that sort of takes place in Oklahoma wasn’t even shot here. Not one scene. Way to keep it real TK. Hey, at least his restaurant has awesome quesadillas. I don’t know this from experience, but rather my friend Spence touts the quality of Toby’s quesadillas whenever he gets the chance. It’s kind of sad. It’s like when friends gather and discuss what a horrible girl you’re dating and the only thing you can say is, “Well her quesadillas are good! Sure she’s a racist, pandering megalomaniac who markets patriotism for personal gain, but her quesadillas are delicious! Leave me alone!” I’m surprised they’re called quesadillas at his restaurant. I thought they’d be called something like “Immigrant Flapjack Melts” or something. Hey, freedom fries are still on the menu, so don’t think it’s out of the question.

If a movie about drunk horses isn’t enough to get the ol’ blood boiling, the fine folks at The Lost Ogle posted this little nugget of goodness. I highly suggest you give it a listen. After these statements, Toby pretty much killed his black audience for Beer For My Horses.

Moving on.

Let’s go ahead and address some of the dumb things I’ve heard in the past few weeks. Here are the statements in no particular order.

“I ain’t votin’ for a Muslim!”

“His middle name is Hussein! That’s a terrorist name!”

“He wants to talk to our enemies. No way!”

“He’s inexperienced! No way!”

“Get out of my bedroom!”

That last one probably only applies to me. The others involve the next president of the United States. First of all, the man’s a born again Christian. Sure his pastor said some stupid stuff, but who hasn’t heard nutty things from the pulpit. Take John Hagee. The man endorses McCain and no one is coming after McCain the way came after Barack.

I don’t have a problem with negotiating, at first, with our enemies. Perhaps it’d be better to talk than to sacrifice lives. That’s just me though.

He didn’t name himself. It’s not like his middle name is “Hitler Von Baby Killer” either. Hussein is one of the most common names in the world. If someone’s middle name dictated who they are than John Mellencamp would be a vicious member of the feline family.

He’s inexperienced? Ok. Personally I don’t want someone who has decades of experience in a broken system. I’m fine with that.

I’m sure he’s going to make mistakes. I’m sure he’s saying things now that he can’t back up later. All politicians do. I do think he’s a better fit for the role of commander in chief than McCain. Besides, as far as we know, Obama never cheated on his wife because she got in a car accident and wasn’t attractive anymore. McCain did. I don’t think the government should police morals, but when the right was up in arms over Clinton, where are they now McCain, an admitted philanderer, is running? Hypocrisy at it’s best.

I think he will win or lose for the wrong reasons. I knew Hillary wouldn’t get the nomination because I think we are a more sexist nation than we are a racist nation. People would rather have a black man than a white woman. I also feel we are a youth obsessed nation and would rather have young than old lead. Either way, these criteria are not how one should determine who to vote for. I am voting for him because I think he is an idealistic and intelligent man who personifies what I would want in a president. I think he will either gain or lose votes simply based on his race or age. That’s not how anyone should vote.

They’re saying that 83% of registered voters under the age of 35 are going to vote for Obama. All the polls show he’s ahead. I cannot conceive he’ll lose. He won’t win this state, but he’s not gonna lose. Besides, the polls are only of registered voters. Voter registration among African-Americans and Latinos is at an all time high. It’s coming around white America. Get ready.

Is this a great country or what?

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Movie - The Great World of Sound - How this movie didn’t get talked about last Oscar season is a testament to how irrelevant the Academy has become. Juno? Really? Please. Go out and rent this movie. Now.

Song - Don’t Touch Me (Throw The Water On ‘Em) by Busta Rhymes - If this song doesn’t get you pumped, I’m not sure what will. Here’s the video. It’s great.

Thing You Need To Do Monday - 796 Entertainment is a locally owned company owned by local comedians and film makers. They’ve organized a comedy night at The Speakeasy every other Monday. Mondays Don’t Suck comedy starts at 9:30 this Monday at The Speakeasy at 51st and Western. It’s good times.

A friend of mine sent this to me today.

I can think of about five words to describe this picture, leaving all of you to come up with the remaining 995 it’s worth.

For more Toby goodness check out the trailer to his straight to DVD hit “Beer For My Horses”. What’s that? It’s getting a theatrical release? Wow. Well alrighty.

CLICK HERE FOR THE HILARIOUS TRAILER

To be fair, the fine folks at The Lost Ogle mentioned the trailer first. If not for them I’d have never known the happiest 38 seconds of my life compliments of TK and stuff ’splodin.

That is all.

- Joel

It’s time to update the blog no one but myself and all of my very boring personalities read!

The roast went great. This, despite the efforts of a former co-worker’s attempt to sabotage it. You would think if someone works for the phone company they would understand calls can be traced. Especially thinly veiled calls of a harassing nature made to a business owned by close, personal, friends of mine. I guess when one is fueled by bitterness, common sense flys out the window.

Here are some of the jokes my friends said about me. These are among the few I can actually reprint here. It was pretty filthy. My friend Chris even wrote The Joel Song. It was awesome. Anyway. Here’s some of the jokes.

“Joel looks like Grimace with AIDS.”

“I see your face is sunburnt. Way to NOT bring attention to your giant head. It looks like the Kool Aid Man is sitting on your shoulders.”

“Joel is the only person I know who could live in a —— and still never have —.”

That last one was pretty dirty but really funny. It really meant a lot to me the owners of the Loony Bin did that for me. The wait staff donated their tips and pay to me. The comedians performed for free. It really has been a hard time recently with the job, my illness and my grandma dying, but that night more than made up for it. I have a lot of incredible friends and I hope one day I’m able to do for someone what has been for me. It was one of the best nights of my life.

I would like to thank Terry and Larry, the owners of the Loony Bin. Spencer Hicks, Seth Jospeh, Chris Dowell, Kyle Kubiak and Jacob Dyck. I would also like to give a special thanks to Brad Chad Porter for putting the show together and Jason Black for hosting. These are some of my dearest friends and I can’t thank them enough for their kindness and understanding and willingness to help me out. Thank you all.

They raised enough money so I was able to pay for COBRA thus covering me from the day I got fired until the end of July. How I’ll get the $575.00 to cover me in August, or every other month beyond that is beyond me, but hopefully I’ll figure something out.

Yesterday was surgery 30. That’s not good or pleasant. At all. Trust me on this. During my 30th surgery, I apparently remarked to my doctor he looked like M. Night Shyamalan. I don’t remember doing that. Why can’t I do something cool instead of amusing while under sedation? Something along the lines of hitting on a nurse. The staff at the place I have surgery is none too shabby when it comes to the looks department. Of course, in a place chock full of attractive women, I am at my least attractive. Yes, it’s possible to be even LESS attractive than I already am. It’s probably the hairnet and gown made of paper that makes it so. Also, lying on your stomach while someone straps you to an operating table doesn’t help.

Not much going on here other than a lot of bleeding and worrying about money. Good times. Not really.

I went to CA for my grandma’s funeral, which was a rough experience. However, it was nice to be somewhere and not hear a racial slur or homophobia coming out of some redneck’s mouth. You don’t notice how rampant things like that are here until you don’t hear any of it for a week. “What’s missing? Oh yes. Ignorance and racism.”  I’m not saying there’s not homophobic or racist people in CA, it’s just not as prevalent. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand any of it because everyone speaks Spanish there. SHA BOING! Not really. Did I mention I love CA? Everyone is so laid back and the air, despite rumors to the contrary, is pretty nice. Being near the ocean helps with that. Aside from the funeral and some familial issues, it was an ok trip. I don’t recommend going if you have to go to a funeral though. It’s so sad.

When my family and I were out there, we were going through piles of old photos for a DVD my brother was putting together to play during the reception after the funeral. It was really a sad experience but an oddly uplifting one. I just sat there wondering about the day someone will be going through piles of pictures and talking about me. I want my friends and family to remember a guy who was funny and nice and cared about people. Ok. Getting too sentimental. Must stop.

Also, and this is just a side note, I saw a lot of giant crosses on the drive out there.  These white crosses are paid for by a gentleman who uses his own money. $25,000.00 a pop per cross. Because if Christ had $25k he’d spend it on a giant version commemorating the most painful day of his life with total disregard for those in need. Thanks crazy old man with an expendable income which allows for a giant cross budget.

We’re getting a basketball team! I say we call it the Thunderbirds. The silliest comment I’ve seen is this. It was posted on one of the newsok.com message boards.

“ I think the new team name should be Oklahoma City Stars and their colors be red, white & blue.”

I wish Toby Keith would stop posting things like that.

I’m not a fan of Toby. I think we all know that. However, Toby is a lifelong Democrat which means we may be on the same side this election year. If Barack can bring together Toby Keith and myself, he’s already off to a good start.

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MOVIE - Wall-E. Brilliant. I have a knack for loving all Pixar movies. Cars was probably my least favorite, but it was still good. It was ten times better than any movie with the word ‘Shrek’ in the title.

SONG - Wall-E - I know it’s not a song but the movie was so good it managed to overshadow a song pick.

- Joel

Things have been rough lately. I’ve been ill, I lost my job and my grandma died. On the plus side I have awesome friends. So awesome in fact they’ve planned a roast for me. This is basically a night of comedy at my expense. If you hate me, show up. If you love me show up. Either way it’s going to be a fun night and I’m humbled by the effort.

In addition, we bring to Oklahoma City your favorite established stars as seen on: HBO, Showtime, Comedy Central, TNN, MTV, VH1, and A&E’s An Evening at the Improv.

Never in my life have I felt such optimism and had as much confidence in a politician as I do in Barack Obama. This may be the result of being young and optimistic but I believe this country is in a state of disarray and the only way to make it as great as I believe it can be is to put aside petty disagreements and do what is right for the country, ourselves and the world. When it comes down to it no one is really concerned with gay marriage or who wears a flag pin. What we are concerned about is the lives being sacrificed in Iraq or how we’re going to take care of our families. These issues are not Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, straight or gay, black or white. These problems are human problems everyone faces one time or another. I truly believe Senator Obama can help bring this country to a point where we can focus on what’s important and not useless and pointless arguments among Americans.

Anyway. I like Barack. There. That’s enough.

- Joel

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. My grandma passed away. I know that’s not the most uplifting thing to read so I figured I’d just hit you with it now.

I’m not one who is fond of death. I know no one really is but I just tend to shut down when it happens. My grandpa. My dad. My grandma. I either get really upset (grandpa-grandma) or shut down (dad). I’m not sure what that says about how I feel about my dad, so we’ll just leave it alone.

Whenever someone asks me how old my grandma was and I tell them she was 94 they kind of react as though it’s expected. She didn’t die from old age. She died because someone didn’t take care of her the way she deserved. That’s a fact her doctors can attest to. She was of sound mind for someone who was 94 but just because one is old doesn’t mean they were ready. First step of grief? Denial. I know.

I was thinking about all she’d seen in her 94 years. She had a damn good run. I get it. It doesn’t take away from the pain my mom feels. I lost my last grandparent but she lost a mom. That’s got to be one of the hardest things in the world to go through.

So what does my grandmother’s death mean to you? Not much, mostly because you didn’t know her, and that’s ok. We all go through it and I’m dealing with it as best I know how.

So tomorrow I’m off to CA. It’s been years since I’ve been back. It’ll be interesting to see how this goes. I really wanted to go back but not under these circumstances.

So yeah. That’s what I’ve been up to. I really don’t want to talk about it much anymore right now. I just thought I’d let anyone who reads this know what’s going on.

- Joel

My dear friend Matthew Alvin Brown made a movie. It’s called Rainbow Around the Sun and it is an amazing rock opera made right here in Oklahoma. The film is the kick off film for the upcoming Dead Center Film Festival. I have seen it and it is incredible. I’ve listened to the album of the same name at least fifty times all the way through. The album is a well crafted diverse audio journey unlike any rock album I’ve heard.

On Saturday May 17th at Lyric at the Plaza in OKC at 7pm Matthew Alvin Brown, rock group The Fellowship Students and the cast of the film will perform a live reading of an incarnation of the film written by writer/director Kevin Ely and Matthew Brown. This performance is a one night only special event featuring the original cast as well as performances of the songs from the soundtrack. This promises to be a wonderful night of music from a wonderful movie by wonderful people.

How much does an event like this cost a human being? Nothing. All you need to do is call 405 524-9312 and reserve your tickets. Donations will be accepted. Come out for this very special, one night only performance. Meet the cast. Have them autograph stuff. Most importantly you’d be supporting a local production and having more fun than one should have on a Saturday night. When’s the last time the cast of any movie put on a show for you? Never?! Well now they have.

Don’t ever tell me there’s nothing to do in OKC again. Besides, I’ll be there and what more do you need?

405 524-9312

May 17th

7:00pm

I’ll see you there.

- Joel