Hi, I’m Jenni. I’ll be your tour guide
Back in college, I spent one summer working as an orientation assistant for incoming freshmen. Part of the gig required showing the youngsters and their parents around campus, walking around and pointing out academic buildings and residence halls and other places that they needed to know about and even throwing in the occasional bit of trivia.
Needless to say, I have decent credentials as a tour guide.
Which brings us to our good buddy Charles Barkley.
What’s up, Chuck?
So, we understand that you heard about the column that I wrote last week. You know, the one pointing out the fact that you promised to visit Oklahoma City five years ago but still haven’t made good on your promise.
Your pal Ernie Johnson made sure to point it out Monday night during halftime of the Thunder-Lakers game.
(I always knew I liked Ernie.)
Charles Barkley, dressed in mock cowboy attire, waits on the set for the beginning of TNT's Inside the NBA at the NBA Jam Session, part of the NBA All-Star events in Houston, Texas, Febraury 16, 2006. Barkley was dressed up to address the negative comments he made about Oklahoma during a broadcast last week. By Nate Billings, The Oklahoman
And Chuck, you once again promised that you’d make a visit to our fair city.
“Has it been five years?” you asked your cohorts on the set. “Well, you know what? Jenni, you are a hundred percent correct. Now that you’ve got my good friend Scott Brooks there, and the great Maurice Cheeks, who I played with in Philly, I’ve got to come to Oklahoma City.”
OK, Chuck, since you sound like you’re giving this some serious consideration, I’ve got an offer — I will be your tour guide.
Listen, I am a transplant to Oklahoma City, so like you, I once came to the city with some preconceived notions. But I quickly realized what a great place this is.
I’d love to show you some of the reasons why.
We’d start with the bombing memorial because even though that doesn’t signal the start of this city, what happened that day is central to where we are now. To understand the growth and the vibrancy and the resolve, you have to start at the memorial.
Then, we’d have to go check out Stockyard City, a place that has the cows and chickens that you seem to think everyone has around here.
(I promise, I have no livestock living in my yard nor have I seen any in my neighbors’ yards.)
Also, there’s a side benefit to going to Stockyard City — Cattlemen’s Steakhouse. You can’t come to Oklahoma City and not eat at the legendary restaurant. And Charles, I know there’s some talk about you being on a diet, but you need to suspend it for Cattlemen’s.
Or if you want, we could counteract the food with a stop at boathouse row on the river. They put folks in boats and have them row on the river. I know you’re a bit on the tall side, but I suspect they’d figure something out for you, Chuck.
And since you’d probably be coming for a game, we’d have to check out Bricktown. It’s the place where folks gather before games, and it would be hopping with Thunder fans. No doubt that folks would come up to you to shake your hand, to get an autograph, to take a picture, and you’d get to see how darn nice folks are here. That’s really the greatest thing about Oklahoma City — the people.
When you come to town, you’ll have a chance to see it for yourself, Chuck.
I’m here to help.
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Comments
Hi, I’m Jenny and can’t write, so I need to try and get TV mentions whenever possible
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Hi, I’m Bob, and I can’t spell Jenni … 
C’mon, man. If you’re gonna be snarky, at least spell my name right.
Jenny,
Be sure to take Charles some places like Ludivine for dinner, the Paseo, the Asian District, etc. He already knows we have cowboys here!!! (nothing against Cattlemen’s). Don’t feed his stereotypes any further, please?
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Brian:
Excellent point! Charles likes his chow, so I’m sure he’d be game for a second meal at a non-steak place … 
Jenni
Of all this city has to offer you’d take him to the Cowtown and Bricktown? If he’s going to talk down to OKC then why give him more to make fun of. Every major city has a great place similar to Bricktown. Take him there for a drink after the game if you have to. Otherwise drive through the neighborhood on your way to the OKC Arena.
If you want to show a superstar with an ego as big as Dallas the true OKC then yes, start out at the National Memorial. I’d suggest the river but that’d take 20 minutes max so keep the car warm while he gets out. Show him AROUND the metro where he can see the people of Oklahoma and their spirit. Give him a tour of Boone Pickens and the OU Memorial Stadium, afterall we are a football state. Take him to unique eateries that showcase Oklahoma food. Give him some Oklahoma beer at McNellies, etc. And while he’s out and about, show him African Americans are as vital to this city as anyone else. We are a unique state and we see no color.
Don’t just show him OKC, let him experience it. We are more than the OKC Arena and Bricktown.
wow jennifer ease up on bob you need thicker skin,perhaps you could change careers.
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Dave:
The only person who calls me Jennifer is my mom if she’s ever really mad at me. Jenni will suffice.
By the way, I’m just having fun with you the same way I was having fun with Bob.
Oh, and one other thing, I think it’s fairly safe to say that if I didn’t have thick skin, I’d have run for the hills many moons ago.
Jenni
You’d be a terrific tour guide, Jenni! I love your ideas, but do a steak somewhere other than Cattlemen’s…ugh. I’ve tried it more than once and sorry to say I’ve only had bad luck there. I was saddened someone took Food Network star Curtis Stone(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curtis_Stone) there to introduce him to OKC’s finest!
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Lynn:
Ugh to Cattlemen’s? Really? Every time I’ve ever gone there, it’s been really good …
Jenni
if Presti doesnt make a move for a 3 point shot guy and get a big in there who cares cause this will be the last year they will be on TNT like Charles said we will be just in the way . sad but true.
Come on Jenni, it’s Charles Barkley, think I know what makes him tick, two words- Night Trips.
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Edgar:
I’ve never met Chuck, so I don’t pretend to know what makes him tick, but if he’s coming to OKC, he needs to see things he can’t see elsewhere. I think he could see what he’d see there somewhere else …
Jenni
Why not our Oklahoma Heritage Museum? Or he could see Remington Park, the world-famous OKC zoo, and the Oklahoma Science Museum. There’s the Oklahoma Western Heritage Center, I like showing him the Paseo District, but what about our NE 23rd Street corridor? And don’t forget Oak Tree, home to some famous golf tournaments! Bart Conner and Nadia Comaneci could also help chauffeur him around Norman, as they are sports royalty here! There are plenty of places to show him that we are metropolitan and not just cows and chickens and stuff!
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Donna:
Love all these ideas.
EVERYONE — keep ‘em coming!
Jenni
Take him to Republic or some place that breaks the stereotype, not Cattleman’s that reinforces it.
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Grolgar:
But we ARE a former cowtown. We don’t need to shy away from it. We are what we are. We should embrace it.
Gotta mix the old and the new!
Jenni
Are you going to take him to the Ford center?
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Louis:
You mean the Oklahoma City Arena?
I think the thinking is that Chuck would come to see a Thunder game, so yep, the arena would definitely be a stop on the tour.
Jenni
Old Germany, in Choctaw, would be a nice place to take him to dinner. I’m sure Mike Turek would be a good host and give Chuck a taste of Germany in Oklahoma!
Ludivine should be a priority. It features Oklahoma raised food and is an incredible restaurant. I do agree he should see both our urban and our country flavor (Yes to Cattlemens). I moved here from Brooklyn a year ago and I love the unique local culture. OKC embraces it’s Western Heritage and that makes it a special place.
Um, really, a lot of these places would simply vindicate Sir Charles and his slurs against OKC. Jenni, I dare you to take him to what’s considered the best soul food restaurant in the state – Mama E’s – and then have him repeat, surrounded by the good folks at Mama E’s – that there are no black people in OKC. Then see if you can arrange for him to meet Clara Luper, if she’s up to it, and explain to him how Oklahoma City’s black community led the country in staging peaceful civil rights protests, most notably with the advent of sit-ins at restaurants and hotels. And make sure old Charlie gets a chance to sit in on the morning show at KSVP.
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Steve, Steve, Steve … You don’t need to DARE me to take Chuck to Mama E’s. I absolutely LOVE that place. Chicken and waffles? You kidding me? There’s nothing better.
No dare necessary!
(BTW, folks, Steve is one of our business writers, so he knows his OKC.)
Jenni
If he is coming here to experience Oklahoma City or the state in general, because his impression is of the state in general. Why not a whilwind tour via helicopter, Okc, Norman and then Tulsa. The more he sees will help his opinion of the state, plus he won’t get beat to death by riding on our fine roadways.
OKC is a unique blend of old and new, and there’s no reason why he shouldn’t see both sides of that, including our western heritage. It’s part of what makes us who and what we are as a city.
Starting at the memorial is a class move, Jenni, and you can’t do better than that. There’s a lot of this city and state wrapped up in there, in more ways than words can describe.
Cattleman’s? Yes, absolutely.
Bricktown as well. Water taxi ride, for sure. Maybe spend a little time around the Land Run monument. If you’re looking for something he won’t find elsewhere, those remarkably life-like sculptures, and the history they convey, are a definite option.
Getting his picture by one of the decorated bison statues around town would be pretty good, or better yet, down by the bison “corral” in Bricktown.
Lots of other good ideas, such as the History Center or Western Heritage Museum, but cramming an itinerary and short visits don’t really go well together.
Best idea, I think, is one you already had, about just getting out and letting him meet people around town. That, the memorial, and the crowd at whichever Thunder game he attends, assuming he comes here, will probably leave the biggest impressions.
If those impressions are anything other than good, I’ll be surprised.
Ok, take him by the legendary “Scissorhands” and he can see all the famous sports personalities who have stopped here and they can shine up that head. OKC has so many great restaurants, that will be a hard decision. The Memorial is a must, maybe the Capitol, KD’s house in Guillardia, Western Heritage Museum, Remington, Riverwind, the Brick, Paseo, and I’m sure Mayor Mick and the Chamber would be happy to assist in this image reformation.
African-Americans in Leeds, Alabama make up just short of 16% of the city population. African-Americans make up 14% of the population of OKC. Leeds’ white population is 82%. OKC’s white population is 67%. OKC is much more diverse than Charles’ own home town.
The population of cattle and chickens in either is undetermined.
(Stats taken from Wikipedia)
Charles has to have to the worst golf swing in the history of mankind–so let’s start off with a nine hole celebrity two man scramble at Oak Tree–pair Charles with Trmale. Jenni—we’re pairing you with Traber….OMG. Then–believe it or not–there’s quite an active Auburn War Eagle Chapter here in central Oklahoma–so get these people out to give Sir Charles the royal War Eagle welcome right here in Oklahoma. Then– maybe wisk Charles by heliocopter over to Night Trips so as to continue his Ferris Bueller fantasy day in OKC. I’m sayin’ barbeque. Get Charles back on the heliocopter and take him to Camp’s in Norman. I’m thinking three o’ clock by now. Back on the heliocopter and maybe a stop downtown at a cigar bar where Charles could actually see some black people milling around the streets of downtown OKC. It’s probably about four o’clock by now—so you gotta figure Charles needs to eat again. Put him back on the heliocopter…and let’s go eat Italian back in downtown Edmond at Othellos. You figure it’s close to five thirty by now…. and we could put Charles back on the heliocopter and then maybe stop by for a quick desert at Cattleman’s before he’s airlifted down in front of the OKC Arena at maybe six thirty so he see some some more black people walking up to the arena. There you go…golf, War Eagle welcome, Night Trips, Camp’s barbeque, cigar bar, seeing black people in Oklahoma just to reinforce the earlier spotting, Othellos, Cattleman’s, heliocopter air lift and a Thunder basketball game…did I miss anything?
The folks in Bricktown should launch a “Where’s Chareles” campaign before every Thunder Game until he comes. Signs in the windows, food and drink specials promoting it. Pictures of Charles Barkley up asking “Where’s Charles”…
I could see some local media picking up on the story and it getting back to TNT. Could be a lot of fun and good promo for the City.
Dinner at Earls in Bricktown might not be a bad choice either before the game.
Great job Jenni
The best kept secret in Oklahoma City is the 456h Infantry Division Museum on NE 36th and M. L. King. The largest state operated military museum in the nation. It showcases the Oklahoma military, particularly their combats in World War II and Korea. Take him there and show him what true Americans we are.
Take the ole lad just south of Bricktown by the underpass. He might find some hobo’s he could lend money to.
I think you should take him to BoBo’s chicken!! You wanna talk about some chicken!! That’s good food. If you haven’t been there you will probably be hooked. Make sure you ask for honey.
Oh come on jenni, can’t take the abuse?
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Mike:
Me? Not able to take abuse? Clearly, you haven’t been paying much attention. I’m an expert at taking anything anyone wants to dish at me.
Jenni
whats the latest on this whole deal?
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Jr.:
Apparently, Sir Charles still isn’t keeping his promise. No visit is planned as far as I know.
Jenni
Hec, I’d take Sir Charles out on the town; I am a fan of about 80% of what he does, and about 50% of what he does. I even bought his book. I might even see if I can get him into a fight and arrested; so he would feel at home with all those other cities in which he has been in fights and arrested.