Photo by: AP

No one should sorry for me when they read this.

I am generally an uncool person, but good things sometimes happen to everybody. For example, I was accidentally blessed with a very cool present last year. The iPhone had been out for a few months and somehow my mother put her name in a box and got drawn as a winner of the first generation iPhone. She’s generally terrified of technology more advanced than a game of Tetris, so I was presented with the iPhone.

When I held the phone I felt twice as interesting and twenty times as snobby as a Sharper Image store. That’s a good feeling because all I had to do was pull the phone out of my pocket and look bored. Automatically people would react to the phone. There was nothing to it.

However, that’s changed so much lately. The 3G came out, and I was mildly fazed. I thought Apple would be done releasing new things for a few years, but then today Apple releases the 3G S. It’s so slightly different that I need it more than anything.

I watched the 3G S commercial last night, looked at my now horribly dated phone and gave it a terrible, cold stare. I wanted to throw it over my backyard fence and forget about how it crossed me.

Don’t bother calling me to cheer me up because I use my phone as a coaster now.