Part Three: Who’s your All-Animal football team?
Today’s installment completes the team. Look for an added bonus at the end! (Just don’t get your hopes up.)
Kicker—Clydesdale. Umm…duh.
Photo: CNBC.com
Holder—Flamingo. Makes a living on holding still, a key at this position.
Punter—Donkey. The trick is getting him to take the snap while facing backwards. Doubt him all you want, but as Mrs. O’Leary can testify, his hind leg can do some damage.
Kick Returner—Gazelle. Fleet of foot. He runs solely on fear. If the coverage bears down on him and he can still see the sideline, he’s bolting to the white paint.
Head Coach—Ant. Diminutive size might make him work hard for his players’ respect, but his specialty is making a group greater than the sum of its parts. Not a lot of actual football knowledge, but sometimes you can get by on pure motivation as a head coach.
Defensive Coordinator—Owl. You’re not outsmarting or surprising this modern-day Solomon. Doesn’t show much emotion, never tips his hand. And since he’s nocturnal, he can stay up all night watching game tape of opposing offenses.
Offensive Coordinator—Shark. Knows what to do when he smells blood from the defense. That, and I really like the idea of filling the upstairs booth with water.
BONUS!
Referee—Zebra. Of course.
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Loyal Old Man Fan- 3-toed Sloth. He is as loyal to his tree as he is loyal to “hanging” out and watching his team play. He’s may move slowly, but his determination will always get his dragging body from the ground to the stadium. Plus, his food may just be growing on him so his snacks are readily available to watch the game.