Baseball, Birds, and a KC BBQ from a Missouri Expat
I spent the past four years in Columbia, Mo.
Every year when baseball season starts up I’m surprised Columbia doesn’t flip its tornado sirens on for Opening Day when the winds of inferiority complexes from Kansas City clash with the gusts of superiority from St. Louis.
I’m detached enough from the Royals to sit back and laugh, but every year I never understand why so many of their fans spend their Royal-filled afternoons waiting on the worst.
Last month, the Royals were 18-11, had a pitcher on the cover of Sports Illustrated and sat atop the AL Central. Most of the fans I knew were prepared to re-assume the role of not-so-lovable losers. I said they needed to get over themselves.
And then last night happened.
Now, as Kansas City Star writer Joe Posnanski said in his blog last night, the Royals did not lose because a game-winning single hit a seagull. They were going to lose anyway. The final blow coming from a bird was unsurprising, and added an element of comedy that had, until about 14 hours ago, been missing from the Royals’ slide. After last night, the Royals have now lost 23 of 30 games and as the Star so graciously put it, have “tumbled into in the all-too-familiar sty of last place.”
So, consider this my apology.
Eternal pessimists masquerading as Royals fans: I am sorry. Your team is horrible. Your suspicions were correct. In one month, you went from first to last in a division with one team above .500. More impressive, you did it with the best pitcher in baseball this season as your ace. Granted, he may have the mug of a preteen, but a 1.72 ERA (a half run better than the next-best in the majors) and an 8-2 record in 13 starts is hard to argue with.
From this point on, if your team looks like it might have some hope, I will not criticize you for waiting on the bottom to fall out. It will.
And when it happens, I’ll be watching. And laughing.
Sorry.
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