It’s that time of year.  The lights, the parties, the festivities, the shopping, the trees, the STRESS of the holidays.  Most of us have more to get done than we think we can possibly handle, especially if you add kids into the mix.  But are there ways to at least reduce some of the stress this wonderful season brings? 

The Oklahoma City-County Health Department offers some valuable tips on simple things you can do to make this season a little easier:  

1. Save decorating until a week before the holiday.  Save irreplaceable decorations for later years when children are older.  My son is two, so I won’t be buying any Swarovski Crystal or Tiffany ornaments this year.   

2. Shop ahead, throughout the year, while children are at school or home.  Good advice, unless you’re like me and just HAVE to close the mall down on Christmas Eve, just for the fun of it. 

3. Limit the number of times children stay with babysitters while you attend events.  Not a problem in my house - my babysitter is terminally unavailable.  

4. Avoid forcing a frightened child to sit on Santa’s lap.  Young children often enjoy stories and pictures but the real thing can be overwhelming. I tried to force my son to sit for a Santa picture last year.  All I got was a photo of a distraught toddler with red puffy eyes. 

5. Avoid forcing children to welcome unknown relatives with a kiss or by handing them over to be held by a stranger.  Allow the child time to warm up. Also good advice, unless you’re my mother ‘Gwennie’ and in that case, there will be no warm up time. Because she said so.

 6. If weather permits, encourage outdoor play to release extra energy.  OK, we live in Oklahoma. This is not hard. It won’t be cold until at least Febraury.  

7. Keep routines as normal as possible.  Be sure to expect behavioral changes anytime routines change. I find that this is pretty much a given with a toddler, at any time, in any season, for any reason. 

8. When traveling with a young child, allow extra time on the road.  Take some familiar objects from home.  Establish a routine as close as possible to your regular routine and be assertive with relatives about how you enforce limits with your child. Unless, of course you’re ‘Gwennie’ and under her roof. Then it’s her rules … or else.

9. Limit holiday candy; give healthy treats along with the seasonal goodies.  So pumpkin pie counts as a vegetable, right?

Any more tips you’d like to share? Leave your comments here or email me at the address below.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

As a mom, I know this to be true.

A story in today’s New York Times just bears this out.

Moms, it seems, are putting off their own needs to make sure their kids get their Christmas wish lists fulfilled, according to the story “To Buy Children’s Gifts, Mothers Do Without.”

Moms, does this resonate with you?

Do you put off buying things for yourself or doing things for yourself to ensure that your children are taken care of and have what they need?

Do you put off exercise and doing other things for yourself because of your children’s schedule or routine?

Let me know. Send an e-mail with your comments to chinton@opubco.com.  Be sure to include your name, hometown and a phone number where you can be reached. Your views may be used for a future story.

Carla Hinton

Sounds fun, right?  Well, not so much.

Last weekend, I had the great pleasure of moving … with a 2-year-old.  We didn’t move far, just a few miles closer to work, and to a much bigger place and much quieter community.  However, that doesn’t ease the strain and hassle of moving.

Since it’s just us two, I had to figure out a way to get everything packed in the few days prior to the move, with a toddler underfoot in every room of the house. As I would fill up boxes, he would take things out of them. If he saw a toy he hadn’t played with in months being boxed up, all of sudden it was his favorite and must be taken out and played with immediately.

When two of my friends came to move everything, all he wanted to be was part of the action.  I couldn’t help all that much moving things because I had to constantly watch him.

And for days to follow, I couldn’t for the life of me, find the right cup or plate or toy in the 40 plus boxes I had in the new place. I couldn’t find his favorite bedtime books or the caboose for his train set. And I heard about it - every day.

But we’re slowly getting settled.  He only refers to it as ‘the new house.’ If I say ‘we’re going home’ he gets upset because the last time he saw ‘home’ as he knew it, it was an empty spot where things used to be.  But going to ‘the new house’ makes him happy and excited, which makes it home to me.

Soon enough, it will be home to him, too.

Any horror stories about moving with kids?  Share them here or e-mail me at the address below.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

I say, “I’m sorry. Time to get up,” and then I keep pushing them to eat breakfast, brush their teeth and get dressed for school.

If the whining continues, I’ll say, “You’ll feel better if you just get up and move around,” or “You’ll feel better when you get to school and see your friends.”

My problem is I never can tell - unless one of the kids is vomiting or has a 102-degree temperature - whether they’re really sick. I continue to press them to get ready for school, and it’s only after a couple of hours … and sometimes a couple of days … that I give in to the notion they might be ill.

Part of the reason is that one of my girls tends to complain every day about feeling bad on some part of her body. It could be her toe, her finger, her jaw, her head, but something has a pain. My other daughter has “you’re-not-paying-enough-attention to me” pains when her sister is ill or is complaining.

It can be a vicious circle.

Another reason I tend to be in denial is that it isn’t “convenient,” and, for that, I feel guilty.

So, last week when my oldest daughter was complaining about her stomach hurting, then her head, I didn’t completely give into the idea that she might actually be sick. Yes, my youngest daughter had had strep throat, but that didn’t mean the other one did. Each day, the complains would come, and I’d take a flashlight, tilt her head back and peer into her throat.

And, sure enough, by Thursday, there were the blisters. Yes. She was sick.

Does anyone else go through this internal wrestling? I wish I could know with the first complaint whether to take them to the doctor. But, until I see “proof,” I’m playing the guessing game. - Linda Lynn

Friday night, my 2-year-old son, my mom and myself attended a hayride at the Orr Family Farm.  On the same ride as us was an 18-month-old girl and her mom.  My son and this little girl were picking out pumpkins in a pumpkin patch just five minutes before both our worlds were changed forever. We were witnesses to that little girl tragically losing her life immediately following that very ride.

This has been a near impossible thing to wrap my mind around.  It’s something that causes shock and disbelief one minute, and despair and sympathy the next.  It’s something I never thought I would have to see, and now is something I’ll see for the rest of my life.  I can’t begin to imagine what her parents are going through and my heart and prayers have been with them since. Their lives are changed in ways I can never imagine.

I took a very hard lesson that night.  Life really is so very fragile. The unthinkable can happen in a split second. Treat every moment with your children and family as a precious gift, because that is what it is. Give those you love an extra long hug and extra big smile next time you see them.  Tell them you love them, and love them unconditionally.

If you’d like to know more about Zoe Madeline Montgomery, please click here: NewsOK.com. And please keep her parents in your thoughts and prayers.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

We have a ritual at our house. It involves picking up his toys several times throughout the day. Why? He loves to throw his toys and books across the room.

He’s actually better than he used to be. His tendency to throw is common among some Down Syndrome children. Physical therapists have said he did this because he liked the sensation of throwing and that we should direct his impulse toward acceptable items - bean bags, socks, soft objects - and have him aim them toward a basket.

His aim is really good, too. A pink paper fish with a colorful tail of streamers had hung  in a doorway for several years - until this past month when Cade zeroed in on the floating fish and successfully knocked it from its place after several times of pummeling it with balls, cars, pillows and other toys.

We should stop him, and we do, but sometimes we just give out. And it’s these times when we say cade, Cade, CADE! … and then duck when a remote or favorite book comes hurling toward our heads. Unfortunately, sometimes we’re not so quick or we’re oblivious to the incoming plastic missiles.

But we love him. And, our living room will continue to look like a whirlwind just plowed through. (I wonder what my daughters’ friends’ mothers must think about my little pit. – If only they had stopped by three minutes earlier)

We continue to try to correct him and encourage him to restrain from chunking the DVDs, newspapers and toys across the room.

It’s encouraging that he’s better. His throwing habit has evolved into mostly tossing across the floor or carrying toys from one location to another.

And, also promising is his willingness to clean up while he sings the “Clean Up” song.

But don’t be surprised by the socks and toys thrown in our entertainment center, behind the furniture and pushed beneath the couch if you drop by. Oh, and, Duck! — Linda Lynn

The oldest has researched on the Internet. The youngest has had deep discussions with classmates.  Some of the comments they’ve made at home have been “very interesting.” Their father and I have explained that you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet, and sometimes people make incorrect statements about candidates.

But, overall, I’ve been impressed. I’m very proud to hear them talk about current events and show an interest in our nation’s future.

I remember a ride on a dirt road, sitting beside my dad in our pickup. As he drove past the peanut fields, I asked him, “Daddy, what does impeachment mean?”

I had spent many an hour watching Watergate hearings on TV. Yet, in my mind, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the politicians’ discussions had to do with PEACHES!

I’m sure my daughters’ newfound interest in politics is influenced by several things: TV news reports, their parents’ conversations, friends’ comments and school discussions. Katie, who is in a middle school yearbook class, has been assisting her classmates with short, informational election videos called “The Election Minute.”

I think Katie and Kaci’s interests in the presidential election have caused me to be more thoughtful about the candidates, their values, their goals if they become president. I still think what you read and hear can be confusing, but this national event has spurred some amusing as well as thought-provoking conversations in our home. — Linda Lynn

This “reality” show chronicles the lives of the rich and spoiled. This week’s episode showed one of the housewives throwing a birthday party for her 11-year-old daughter. The price tag? $18,000.

Well, 11-years-old is sort of a big deal, right? It’s almost 12 after all.  But this poor child is soooo spoiled (and ungrateful) that she’s sure to turn into a spoiled, superficial adult. She’ll probably be on that MTV reality show, My Sweet 16, when mom throws her a million-dollar party in five years. (Hopefully Mom’s stock investments are as shored up as her not-so-natural physique.)

Then I read today about a wedding dress encrusted with diamonds that will be part of a bridal show at the Skirvin Hotel. The price tag is a mere $100,000, a modest take on the million-dollar diamond gowns that other designers have produced.

Such restraint!

Even if you could afford such a gown, is it the socially responsible thing to do when our country is on the verge of economic collapse? People are losing their life savings, their homes (many worth less than the dress in question) and facing a future of sheer poverty.  Maybe a portion of that price tag — a few diamonds really — could go to help organizations in great need.

The Alzheimer’s Association of Central Oklahoma is trying desperately to raise $10,000 to continue an arts program that helps late-stage patients express themselves through art. For these patients, the ability to communicate through paint and paper is more precious than all the diamonds in the world.

Let’s get our priorities straight. Sure, turning 11 or getting married are momentous events. Let’s celebrate — by setting aside our own vain and giving to others.

Susan Simpson

Those of us celebrating this fun holiday with a toddler, may be thinking “My child is too young for trick-or-treating, but I can’t let the day go by without some festivities to create that picture perfect moment of my little one in full costume.”

Here are some ideas that might be a bit more toddler-friendly than trick-or-treating.

Have a get together at your house.  This works especially if you have other friends with toddlers.  They can have food and games just for them.

Go to the zoo.  The Oklahoma City Zoo sponsors “Haunt the Zoo” every year, and we go … every year.  You won’t see the exhibits, but you’ll meet alot of friendly zoo employees who will be giving out all kinds of goodies.  They also provide plenty of picture opportunities.  Go to www.okczoo.com for more information.

Festivals.  There are plenty around the metro. It seems that every church, YMCA and other community center is hosting a fall festival or carnival.  Take advantage of these, as many are free and they’re a fun, safe alternative to trick-or-treating.

Hand out candy. Dress your toddler up in their costume and let them pass out candy to visiting trick-or-treaters.  Chances are, they’ll just love the opportunity to show off their costume to neighbors.  And you’ll get to watch Halloween specials on TV.

And if you do decide to brave the neighborhood for goodies, just be sure to follow the basic rules of trick-or-treating:

-Wear light-colored clothing and/or reflective tape on costumes.  Don’t cross streets between parked cars.

-Go in a group, and while it is still light out.  Use flashlights if it’s dark. Don’t go to any house that has the lights turned off.

-Inspect all candy carefully and discard anything that has a torn or missing wrapper or could have been tampered with in any way. 

If you have any more good safety tips or suggestions for Halloween, post them here or email esmith@opubco.com and I’ll post them for you.

~Erica Smith