Sarah Palin shifts the role of a mother
The other night watching the potential first woman vice president give her speech at the Republican National Convention, I had such conflicted emotions. I wanted to say, “You go, girl,” in my least cheesy
of voices. But as young Piper licked the palm of her hand to slick down 4-month-old Trig’s baby locks I wanted to scoop them up and shield them from the storm.
Electing Hilary was putting a woman in the white house. Electing Sarah is putting a mom in the white house. Hillary’s child is grown and no longer depends on her the way an 8-year-old and a 4-month-old depend on a mother, not to mention three other children one of which is a 17-year-old mother to be. And while a mother’s work is never finished no matter how old her children are, her role in their lives changes dramatically over time.
With Palin we’re asked to re-examine a mother and father’s role in the family and to develop new standards and expectations. And I’m not saying this is a bad thing necessarily. But in general a mother’s role in nurturing is much more involved than a father’s. In general, fathers tend to be able to say I have a late meeting or I’d like to go do X and slip on out. While mothers IN GENERAL have to solve the kid puzzle if they have a late meeting or want to go do X all by themselves … arrange pick-ups, drop-offs, meal plans and often still cook, lay out pajamas, etc. And maybe it is not so much that mothers are actually expected to handle all of this, but more they feel like they should or feel like it is expected of them. (more…)
Britney Spears’ mom tells all in book
Britney Spears’ mom is publishing a book about her family, but don’t expect to find it on the “how to” parenting aisles of your book store.
Lynne Spears’ biography “Through the Storm” is published next Tuesday by Thomas Nelson, a leading Christian publisher. The Associated Press obtained an early copy and said the book “tracks Britney Spears’ life through her precocious early years — she was singing and dancing by the time she was 3 — through her explosive rise to her pill-addicted, near-tragic fall.”
Lynne Spears presents herself as a loving, selfless (she gave up her job as a school teacher for her daughter’s sake) but increasingly powerless parent. She recalls feeling she had been “punched in the stomach” when she learned that Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant at age 16.
No doubt the book will be a top seller, mostly for the tabloid-factor. And as a mom, I shouldn’t judge the Spears family or any other. But I do wonder if there will be a sequel. Another storm is likely on the forecast for this famous family.
Susan Simpson, Education Writer
Clothes encounters of the good kind
I missed the invasion of the body snatchers.
Not the movie, the real-life invasion that happened in my own home.
Someone took away my 15-year-old son who could always care less about what he wore, and swapped him for someone who actually matches every day, whose T-shirts don’t look like they are 20 years old and whose hand has not only touched the iron … but used it!
I knew I was being duped by the fifth day of school.
Where was my son? You know, the real guy that I’ve had to lecture (or felt like I had to) practically all of the previous school years about dressing for success and first appearances and all that?
What happened to the teenager that I swore I wouldn’t speak to if he saw me on the street when he was dressed in the wrinkled T-shirt and khaki shorts (and he has 20 pair of them, I swear) that became his standard uniform.
I’d looked in his closet and seen with my own eyes the many shirts, pants and shorts that we’d shopped for … looking just as nice and neat as they had when we bought them because he had never worn them.
So in comes this new, cool dude.
Trying, of course, to act casual about this latest transformation.
I haven’t let him know that I’m on to him. I like the changes to0 much to say anything positive about it (the kiss of death as many moms already know).
I probably would have said something about it had I thought for one minute that he was finally heeding my years-long litany of advice.
No, that’s not it at all.
This clothes encounter, this invasion, this transformation is all thanks to …
A GIRL.
Carla
90210 — The scariest zip code around
I was a few years past my teens when “Beverly Hills, 90210″ made its TV debut in 1990. But I was close enough to the character’s ages (and probably younger than some of the baby-faced actors) to enjoy the high school drama and intrigue.
So I was excited to watch the show’s reincarnation, simply titled “90210,” that premiered last night. A few original characters are back, playing the adults this time, and a new crowd of beautiful, rich and naughty teens rules the roost.
But for this viewer, a bigger change had taken place. Instead of envying the teens escapades, I now watched from Mom-mode. When a 15-year-old girl goes on a date with a classmate in a private airplane, I saw danger, not romance. When another character spikes her drink at the Peach Pit, I hoped she wasn’t driving home (in her no-doubt luxury hot-rod.)
It was still an entertaining show, don’t get me wrong. I’m just watching it from a different perspective now. One rooted in reality. Scary, huh?
Susan Simpson
Surviving Gameday
Well, we made it. My 2-year-old boy, Hunter and I came from an OU game relatively unscathed. Rain delay and all.
I learned alot Saturday, so I would like to share my newfound knowledge with other parents.
Here are my tips when bringing a toddler to a major sporting event:
1. Bring your own snacks. OU will let you bring in food for babies and small children, so load up and skip the $4 hot dogs. We brought pretzels, Cheerios mix and Rice Krispies treats.
2. Freeze a big bottle of water and pack it in your bag. My son got to stay cool all through a hot game and I didn’t have to spend money on the super-expensive water at the stadium.
3. Keep your child engaged in the game. By the end of the first quarter, Hunter knew to say “Touchdown!” and “Ooooooooo U!” It made the game a blast for me and him.
4. At the first sight of lightning, LEAVE. We made the mistake of waiting until it was too late, and I was stuck underneath a stadium with about 50,000 other people braving the rotating thunderstorm directly above us. Not to mention the very long trek through mud afterward to catch a shuttle. My arms are still sore from carrying my little 30-pound Sooner fan all that way.
5. Bring your camera. Yes, they’re allowed and you won’t want to miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like this one …
~ERICA SMITH
How do your kids get to school?
My daughter really, really, really (really!) wants to ride a school bus to school.
We don’t live on the bus route, or within walking distance of school, so I drive her to kindergarten each day. I tell her she’ll ride the bus on field trips.
When I was a child, I walked with other kids to elementary school and rode the bus to middle school. Both options scare me for my child. I worry — maybe unreasonably — about accidents, strangers, mad dogs and dew-soaked shoes. So for now, I’m happy to drive.
The Associated Press gives some tips for parents wondering when their children are “ready” to walk to school without their parents. Here they are:
—Know your child. Some 10-year-olds are mature enough to handle the responsibility that goes with independence. Others are not.
—Consider the route. Are there major streets to cross? Will the child be walking or biking alone or with schoolmates?
—Set clear rules, such as whether your child must come straight home from school.
—Talk with other parents in your neighborhood about having kids walk or bike to school together. There is safety in numbers.
Do you have any suggestions? Comment here or e-mail me at ssimpson@oklahoman.com
Susan Simpson
Gameday with a toddler?
Is this something that is possible? Without me losing my hair or sanity?
I have tickets to OU’s season-opener this Saturday. First, I am a bit suprised that you have to buy a full-price ticket for a 2-year-old but according to the athletic office “any human being going into the stadium needs a ticket. Even infants.”
Yeah, I guess infants would fall into the “human being” category, although I couldn’t imagine bringing one to a game. But a toddler, well, that may or may not be worse.
I hope I’m not crazy to try this, but maybe he’ll have a blast and we’ll have an extra activity to add to our fall calendar. Has anyone tried it? If so, give me the lowdown and some good tips if you have them.
~Erica Smith
esmith@oklahoman.com
What’s in a (teacher’s) name?
When my daughter was in pre-K last year, I always wondered if I should call her teacher by her first name or address her the same as students do. I’m faced with the same dilemma this year. I’d prefer first names. After all, we’re all adults. Any thoughts, especially from teachers?–Christy Watson
School fundraisers
The school year was only a week old when I saw it: the dreaded packet that meant it was time to start hawking gift wrap, candies, candles and other expensive trinkets all to benefit my daughter’s school. Then yesterday, I received an email from a good friend with pictures attached. Surely they were of her cute kids. I was partially right. It was two pictures of her adorable son, fresh from his third day of kindergarten asking for people to go online and buy from his school fundraiser. His class can get an ice cream party if everybody participates and he wants to win a flying stuffed pig. Honestly, the approach is very parent friendly. Go online, click on what you want to buy, enter the student’s ID number and voila! No door knocking for kids or parents. No going desk-to-desk at work and trying to collect money. Personally, I prefer the approach I found tucked into my daughter’s fundraiser envelope, which invited parents to simply write a check to the school. Still, I’ll no doubt pass around the fundraising catalog and buy from the other kids we know. After all, it’s for a worthy cause. But I hope my daughter doesn’t win a flying stuffed pig. — Christy Watson
Alone is not lonely
I was reading an article today by a contributor to O Magazine. The story was about “mid-wife” crisis, the meaning of marriage and how spousal roles have changed.
It was all very interesting, even controversial. But here’s the sentence that stuck out most: “Our mothers feared being left alone. We crave time alone. Alone time is the new heroin.”
Well, neither the old or new me wants heroin. But time alone, that would be priceless. And by time alone, I don’t mean the hour I sneak to the gym, or the trip alone to the grocery store (although that is lovely.)
I mean time alone doing nothing — or anything I please. No guilt about cleaning the house, no rush to get started on Christmas shopping (we only have 138 days left, folks!) I crave time to watch bad soap operas, take a leisurely nap, or finish the novel I’ve struggled to complete for weeks now.
I didn’t appreciate these luxuries when I was single. The goal was to NOT be alone, back then.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be single. Just by myself for a few blissful hours.
— Susan Simpson
