Looking for child care?
Recently I have had to search for a new day care center because the one I’ve had my toddler in is set to close the beginning of July. Since I didn’t really have to search when I placed him there, I was trying to figure out the best way to approach finding a new center.
Oklahoma Child Care Resource & Referral Association, Inc. and Oklahoma Department of Human Services published pamphlets full of helpful tips on choosing the best possible care for your child. Here are a few of their guidelines:
1. Start early. As soon as you think you may need child care, start the process. Finding a suitable center takes time and some have lengthy waiting lists, especially for infants and young toddlers.
2. Make a call (and go online). The Oklahoma referral service is free and can provide facts and lists of options in your area. The number is 1-888-962-2772 or you can go online: www.oklahomachildcare.org.
Also, you can go to okdhs.org/childcarefind to search for different day cares based on your personal preferences (how may stars the center is accredited with, ages accepted, type of facility, etc.)
You can also call DHS to request reports on the day cares of your choice. They will detail complaints and violations. For Oklahoma County, the number is 767-2650.
3. Visit & ask questions. Look at important factors in deciding on a facility such as:
-Adult to child ratio. The fewer children to caregiver, the better.
-Group size. Smaller groups are safer and more calm.
-Caregiver qualifications. Find out about their training and education. Degrees/special training for taking care of children are key. Look at the turnover – have the caregivers been there a long time? If they are all fairly new, that may be a red flag. Also be sure someone is CPR certified.
-Star ratings. For any center, be sure they are licensed. DHS gives stars to programs for meeting certain criteria. The more stars, the more the center has done above basic licensing requirements.
-Policies. They should give you a detailed description of all their policies, such as meals, behavior, fees, vacations, field trips, medicine, etc.
Drop in unexpectedly to look around the center. Look at the food menus, methods of discipline, activities, playground areas and anywhere else your child will be. See how caregivers interact with the children. See if it’s the environment you would feel most comfortable leaving your child in.
4. Stay involved. Be a part of planning activities for the children (if there are opportunities for this) and attend any parent meetings. Always address concerns with the caregiver and director. That’s what they are there for.
5. Go with your gut instinct. The safety and well-being of your child comes first. I had visited 3-star day cares, day cares closest to my home and centers with good reputations. In the end, I had to go with my instinct. The center I chose is one in which I don’t think I would ever have doubts leaving my son.
If you’d like further information, or a detailed checklist on what to expect from a day care center and specific questions you should ask, call DHS and request a copy of the handbook “The Parents’ Guide to Selecting Quality Child Care.”
~Erica Smith
Children put decision-making skills to task
How do you know when to say no and when to say yes?I wish I had a crystal ball when it comes to answering my children’s questions. After three kids, you would think I could make decisions in seconds.
Instead, I labor over whether I should let them spend the night at a friend’s house, go shopping without me, or attend a concert or some other freedom-enhancing activity.
If the girls ask me if they can have ice cream or my son says, “O-Gurt,” because he wants a second helping of yogurt, those are pretty easy decisions – not life-changing. If it’s the wrong answer … well, there really is no wrong answer to these questions.
But, when my 14-year-old asked me this week if she could attend a concert with a friend, this was a big deal to me. And, while I don’t want to ”ruin her life” or be ”too overbearing,” it’s my job to protect her. God gave me that job, and I take it seriously.
My first response to her when she couldn’t tell me where the concert was planned, was “no.” Well, that didn’t go over too well. She was obviously not happy and expressed that unpleasantness quite well.
Not expecting her reaction, I thought I would dig some more. Yea! I at least found out the name of the group. Progress.
When met with more defensiveness, I said no again.
You would have thought I would have stopped there, but something told me she really wanted to go to this event.
Then, I went to the Internet, searched the location of the concert (Yes! There really was a concert at a well-established venue), looked into our newspaper’s archives for stories written about the event (Yes! More information – and written by a friend!!!), and then I talked to the reporter the next day and was assured this was going to be a really exciting concert event that would be good for my daughter.
Finally, I spoke to my daughter’s friend’s mother who assured me she would be attending with the girls.
Then, my answer was “yes.”
Whew! …. Making decisions on candy and “O-Gurt” are a lot less stressful!
– Linda Lynn
Better to be safe than sorry
Would you know what to do if your child started choking?
The answer for me a year ago was ‘no’ and it scared me to think that if my son started to choke, I wouldn’t know how to save him. I kept picturing just the two of us, at home eating dinner when a piece of pizza or steak got lodged in his throat. I would probably panic and call 911, but by the time they would come, it could be too late.
Wanting to be prepared for the worst prompted me to take CPR and first aid training from the Red Cross last February. It’s a full-day class, where you are trained by a professional on how to do CPR and first aid on infants, children and adults.
At the end of the class, you’ll know what to do for not only for choking, but also burns, gashes, broken bones and other major injuries.
There’s a test at the end of the course and passing is required for certifcation. The great thing about taking a course from the Red Cross is that the CPR certification is valid for one year, and for first aid, it is valid for three years. There are no prerequisities necessary.
To register with the Red Cross, go to http://okc.redcross.org/ and click on ‘Be Educated’ and choose ‘Red Cross Courses’ from the drop-down menu. From there you browse all their course offerings. If you’d like to learn how to do CPR and first aid on an infant or child, take the course that specifically says “Class adult, child, infant CPR, first aid.” Classes range from $48 – $60.
Isn’t having the ability to save your child’s life or someone else’s worth a Saturday? It’s a small price to pay for peace of mind. I know I’ll be going to back to get re-certified next month.
~Erica Smith
Safety comes first
According to the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, injuries kill more children each year than diseases, kidnapping and drugs combined. Children age 4 and younger account for nearly half of toy-related injuries and almost 90 percent of deaths. In Oklahoma, about 130 children through age 15 die each year from unintentional injuries. For every fatality, approximately 45 children require hospitalization and 1,300 require emergency treatment.
These are numbers that aren’t to be taken lightly. The health department offers these tips when purchasing a toy to keep those numbers as low as possible:
1. Always consider the child’s age and maturity level. Purchase a toy suited to the ability, skill and interest level of the child.
2. Toys intended for children older than age 3 should never be given to infants or toddlers. They may have small parts that pose a choking hazard. Children younger than 3 should not be given toys with cords or strings longer than 12 inches. Cords longer than this can get wrapped around a child’s neck.
3. Children younger than age 8 shouldn’t be given toys with sharp edges or toys that run on electricity (not including batteries).
4. Older children should be taught to keep their toys away from younger siblings.
5. Look for well-constructed toys. Check the toys periodically for broken parts that should be repaired or thrown away.
6. Consider the weight, size of the toy.
7. Make sure toys do not contain toxic paint or lead.
8. Costumes or pajamas should be labeled “flame retardant/flame resistant.”
9. If you give a child a bike, roller blades, skateboard or scooter, don’t forget to include safety gear like a helmet, knee pads and wrist guards as part of the gift.
If you started holiday shopping early, you can also check toys to be sure they haven’t been recalled since your purchase. Go to www.cpsc.gov to be sure they aren’t on the list. And if you have children of your own, I highly suggest signing up for the website’s email announcements. As soon as a toy or other children’s item (such as clothes, cribs, etc.) is recalled, they let you know via email, complete with pictures of the items, where they were sold and when, and what to do with the recalled item.
Holidays are supposed to be a joyous and happy time, especially for the little ones. Let’s all be extra diligent in keeping it safe for them. If you have any other good safety tips, comment here or email me at esmith@opubco.com.
~Erica Smith
Halloween with a toddler
Those of us celebrating this fun holiday with a toddler, may be thinking “My child is too young for trick-or-treating, but I can’t let the day go by without some festivities to create that picture perfect moment of my little one in full costume.”
Here are some ideas that might be a bit more toddler-friendly than trick-or-treating.
Have a get together at your house. This works especially if you have other friends with toddlers. They can have food and games just for them.
Go to the zoo. The Oklahoma City Zoo sponsors “Haunt the Zoo” every year, and we go … every year. You won’t see the exhibits, but you’ll meet alot of friendly zoo employees who will be giving out all kinds of goodies. They also provide plenty of picture opportunities. Go to www.okczoo.com for more information.
Festivals. There are plenty around the metro. It seems that every church, YMCA and other community center is hosting a fall festival or carnival. Take advantage of these, as many are free and they’re a fun, safe alternative to trick-or-treating.
Hand out candy. Dress your toddler up in their costume and let them pass out candy to visiting trick-or-treaters. Chances are, they’ll just love the opportunity to show off their costume to neighbors. And you’ll get to watch Halloween specials on TV.
And if you do decide to brave the neighborhood for goodies, just be sure to follow the basic rules of trick-or-treating:
-Wear light-colored clothing and/or reflective tape on costumes. Don’t cross streets between parked cars.
-Go in a group, and while it is still light out. Use flashlights if it’s dark. Don’t go to any house that has the lights turned off.
-Inspect all candy carefully and discard anything that has a torn or missing wrapper or could have been tampered with in any way.
If you have any more good safety tips or suggestions for Halloween, post them here or email esmith@opubco.com and I’ll post them for you.
~Erica Smith
Can 2-year-olds be bullies?
It’s a hard concept to grasp, but seemingly it can be true.
Objectively, I would have to say my 2-year-old son’s demeanor is very mild. He is affectionate and already demonstrates a certain compassion for others, as simple as it is. I have been very lucky that he has never taken out frustration or anger in a physical way – never a biter or a hitter.
These qualities also may make him a target of bullying. In his class, he has a friend who is bigger than him (my son is small for his age), more outspoken and a bit aggressive. I’m going by what I’ve seen myself and what other parents have said. The interaction between the two boys is starting to worry me though, because my son is now reenacting his negative encounters with this child, over and over again.
I’ll pick him up from daycare and about 5 minutes into the ride home, I’ll hear him in the back seat reliving the day’s events. “No No! No push Hunter! Be nice, (child’s name), be nice!” or “No hit Hunter – go time out, (child’s name)!” At first I thought it was an idle situation, but lately this is an everyday occurrence. I’m worried that it can scar him in a way that may, in turn, make him aggressive, or set him up for a lifetime of being a target of bullies.
One thing I can’t really do is talk to this child’s mom. We are friends, and I don’t want to see a friendship go sour over this and there is no real delicate way to bring it up. The daycare teachers are giving the boy time outs so I can’t say they’re not doing their part.
I’m not sure where to go from here. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know. I would love to hear some!
~Erica Smith
Safety first
Wednesday’s accident involving a 23-month-old toddler who died in
Before my son was born, I would glance at those type of stories and continue reading without thinking twice about what I had read.
Now, stories about the death of babies and toddlers really tie my stomach in knots. I wonder how I would react, what I would do if I were that situation or what I could do to prevent a similar situation.
After reading about Wednesday’s accident in
What are other simple and effective ways a home could be child-proofed? Are there preventative measures that must be done, but may not be easily remembered?
Leave a comment below to share with others.
— Brian Sargent
Cell phone caution
Researchers are sharing another round of information that might make some of us a little hesitant about encouraging our young kids to use cell phones.
According to a story by The Associated Press, the head of a prominent cancer research institute is cautioning people to limit cell phone use because of the possible cancer risk, especially to children whose brains are still developing.
I’m sure my family would go through cell phone withdrawal if we had to do without the cell phones simply because it is a way for us to stay connected when we are physically apart.
But cancer is, well, cancer.
I think I can go back to using the land line for most of my calls. I could also do some more letter writing or I could catch up on my e-mail correspondence now that I think about it.
The same goes for my kids. I know they can survive without a cell phone if their very survival was at stake.
I’m sure I won’t be the only parent on the look out for more information on this topic.
Carla Hinton
Surviving the teen years
My son just got a dirt bike. He’s 15.
Apparently, my husband and I lost our minds at the exact same moment. I knew we were slowly driving each other crazy over the years, but I never thought we’d simultaneously snap.
Because of our mental lapses, our son now has a shiny new dirt bike. Well, it was shiny for the trip home and for a brief time in the garage. Then, he rode it. Now, it has a nice scrape along the side, and both signal lights have been demolished. Oh, and he’s proudly sporting a skinned elbow and knee.
We live in the country which gives my son plenty of grass to ride on, and for that, I’m grateful. Of course, when he crashed the first time, he was turning around on the concrete driveway. Funny how that works.
I had a flashback to my own childhood as I watched him tearing across the yard a few days ago. I was raised on a farm and we were around dangerous equipment all the time. I was a kid when seatbelts didn’t exist unless you had one of those “fancy” cars, and even then they were usually buckled and stuffed between the seat cushions. We rode in backs of pickup trucks and sitting on sides of a tractor. We stood on the running board of the big grain trucks as we bumped and jostled our way down to the grain bins or out to the cattle pasture. When the family drove to the swimming hole (yes, that’s what we called it), my dad would put a board across the bed of his truck for kids to sit on. And, the day it hailed on us … well, we just held up the big towel Mom threw back there for us to use as shelter.
Which makes me wonder? How did we survive?
Believe me, I’m not advocating riding in a car with no seat belt or putting kids in the back of a truck. It’s a different time. Things are faster and there are more cars on the roads. The world seems more stressed. The only road rage I ever knew about in my childhood was when you were driving down a dirt road and the car coming toward you didn’t ease over enough and give you both room to pass. And, even then, the road rage manifested itself with only a curt nod to the other person … no smile, no howdy.
Believe me, I’m as cautious as the next parent. When my son was growing up, I dutifully put him in a car seat. I walked him to school to protect him from strangers and I didn’t turn him loose to play in the neighborhood sight unseen. I don’t believe it takes a village to raise a child, I believe it takes parents.
But, now he’s a teenager and has a dirt bike. There’s no car seat on that thing. He is required to wear a helmet, not only be me, but by state law. Thank goodness.
Like it or not, I see that he’s growing up. He’s taller than my husband, wears a bigger shoe, and he’s shaving. I can’t always protect him. He has to be given responsibility to make wise decisions. All I can do is keep medical supplies handy … and pray.
Any parents out there who’ve been down the dirt bike trail with their kids? I could use some advice.
- Guest contributor, Judy Hooper, The Oklahoman
My son did WHAT??
We all have that nightmare … that we go to pick up our child at daycare or school and we get “the talk” … the talk about something horribly wrong they did …
As many other parents here, I have my 2-year-old son in the OPUBCO Child Development Center. Friday afternoon, I leave work and go pick him up. As I walk in among other parents, I hear the lady at the front desk tell the others ”we had a fire drill today.” How nice. They really take the kids’ safety seriously over there. Fire drills and tornado drills. Makes my day at work more at ease knowing my boy is in such a safe environment.
So I walk back to his classroom to pick him up. The two girls who take care of his class, God love ’em, gave me “the look.” It’s the look that you know something’s coming, but you’re not sure what. All you know is that it won’t be good.
“Hunter pulled the fire alarm today.”
“My son did WHAT??”
“He pulled the fire alarm today. We had to call off the fire trucks and the entire building had to evacuate.”
“My son did WHAT??”
I was shocked, yes, but I must admit a part of me wanted to laugh hysterically. Of course, I tried my best to maintain my composure, however, as pulling fire alarms is NO laughing matter. Even if the accused is only 30 inches tall and … can he really reach the alarm? Apparently so.
“We told him not to touch it anymore. We were all quite startled when the alarm went off. But we looked over and Hunter was walking away from it, with a look of ‘Uh-oh’ on his face.”
After many apologies, I scoop up my little innocent toddler (maybe not so innocent after all) and we leave the classroom. As I’m about to break free … the infant-room teacher sees me in the hall and says, excitedly, “Did you hear that Hunter pulled the fire alarm?!?”
Yes, I did. As I’m sure anyone within a half-mile radius did too.
-Erica Smith
