A little perspective on chatty kids
A couple of weeks ago, I described instances where my son can be a little more outgoing than I would like or feel comfortable with.
He has tried to tone it down for me a bit since then … even reminding me, “Mommy, remember don’t say hi.”
But Shari, a Hiccups reader, offered me some perspective on it. Her daughter, Penelope, was also a chatty one growing up. She tried methods I’m pretty familiar with … no eye contact, directing my responses only my child, trying to hurry in stores. Not only because she didn’t feel like talking (much like me) but also for her daughter’s safety.
Growing up, Penelope continued to be social, meeting interesting people and being able to share interesting stories.
Her advice: Watch my son closely, but allow him the joy of being friendly. She said he’ll go far in life with an outgoing personality.
Thank you, Shari. I sincerely hope I’m not stifling my little boy. Maybe I just need to relax a little and be more willing to sacrifice my own quiet time to let him be himself.
-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
esmith@opubco.com
Stranger danger?
My son has a somewhat cute, however slightly annoying (yes, annoying) habit of saying “Hi!” to every single person he sees. Not only does everyone get a big greeting and smile, but they also get a rundown of what his shark eats and what kind of growl his dinosaur makes. While you may be saying to yourself “awwww, how cute!” let me tell you how it’s not exactly the cutest.
Let’s take, for instance, the mall. Nothing lures a pushy salesperson like a friendly toddler. If they ooh and ahh and interact with your child for any extended amount of time, you automatically feel obligated to buy something.
How about wanting some quiet time out shopping? It seems like everytime he says hi to someone, it starts a conversation between me and the other person. Sometimes I just don’t feel chatty. Actually, most of the time I’m out running errands or shopping, I don’t feel particularly chatty.
And then there’s the leery guy lurking around … you know the one. My boy always gives them the big “Hi!” and I suddenly feel uneasy. And I can’t help but think if this is how predators lure away little kids – kids who unknowingly give them the OK.
So what am I do to? I hate trying to inhibit my little boy’s personality but in this day and age, you have to be prudent. So I told him plainly to please stop saying hi to everyone. I thought that worked until he told the lady at the shoe counter, and then everyone else, “Please don’t say hi to me.”
How do you combat stranger danger? Let me know by commenting here or emailing me at esmith@opubco.com.
-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
Safety comes first
According to the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, injuries kill more children each year than diseases, kidnapping and drugs combined. Children age 4 and younger account for nearly half of toy-related injuries and almost 90 percent of deaths. In Oklahoma, about 130 children through age 15 die each year from unintentional injuries. For every fatality, approximately 45 children require hospitalization and 1,300 require emergency treatment.
These are numbers that aren’t to be taken lightly. The health department offers these tips when purchasing a toy to keep those numbers as low as possible:
1. Always consider the child’s age and maturity level. Purchase a toy suited to the ability, skill and interest level of the child.
2. Toys intended for children older than age 3 should never be given to infants or toddlers. They may have small parts that pose a choking hazard. Children younger than 3 should not be given toys with cords or strings longer than 12 inches. Cords longer than this can get wrapped around a child’s neck.
3. Children younger than age 8 shouldn’t be given toys with sharp edges or toys that run on electricity (not including batteries).
4. Older children should be taught to keep their toys away from younger siblings.
5. Look for well-constructed toys. Check the toys periodically for broken parts that should be repaired or thrown away.
6. Consider the weight, size of the toy.
7. Make sure toys do not contain toxic paint or lead.
8. Costumes or pajamas should be labeled “flame retardant/flame resistant.”
9. If you give a child a bike, roller blades, skateboard or scooter, don’t forget to include safety gear like a helmet, knee pads and wrist guards as part of the gift.
If you started holiday shopping early, you can also check toys to be sure they haven’t been recalled since your purchase. Go to www.cpsc.gov to be sure they aren’t on the list. And if you have children of your own, I highly suggest signing up for the website’s email announcements. As soon as a toy or other children’s item (such as clothes, cribs, etc.) is recalled, they let you know via email, complete with pictures of the items, where they were sold and when, and what to do with the recalled item.
Holidays are supposed to be a joyous and happy time, especially for the little ones. Let’s all be extra diligent in keeping it safe for them. If you have any other good safety tips, comment here or email me at esmith@opubco.com.
~Erica Smith
Avoid added holiday stress
It’s that time of year. The lights, the parties, the festivities, the shopping, the trees, the STRESS of the holidays. Most of us have more to get done than we think we can possibly handle, especially if you add kids into the mix. But are there ways to at least reduce some of the stress this wonderful season brings?
The Oklahoma City-County Health Department offers some valuable tips on simple things you can do to make this season a little easier:
1. Save decorating until a week before the holiday. Save irreplaceable decorations for later years when children are older. My son is two, so I won’t be buying any Swarovski Crystal or Tiffany ornaments this year.
2. Shop ahead, throughout the year, while children are at school or home. Good advice, unless you’re like me and just HAVE to close the mall down on Christmas Eve, just for the fun of it.
3. Limit the number of times children stay with babysitters while you attend events. Not a problem in my house – my babysitter is terminally unavailable.
4. Avoid forcing a frightened child to sit on Santa’s lap. Young children often enjoy stories and pictures but the real thing can be overwhelming. I tried to force my son to sit for a Santa picture last year. All I got was a photo of a distraught toddler with red puffy eyes.
5. Avoid forcing children to welcome unknown relatives with a kiss or by handing them over to be held by a stranger. Allow the child time to warm up. Also good advice, unless you’re my mother ‘Gwennie’ and in that case, there will be no warm up time. Because she said so.
6. If weather permits, encourage outdoor play to release extra energy. OK, we live in Oklahoma. This is not hard. It won’t be cold until at least Febraury.
7. Keep routines as normal as possible. Be sure to expect behavioral changes anytime routines change. I find that this is pretty much a given with a toddler, at any time, in any season, for any reason.
8. When traveling with a young child, allow extra time on the road. Take some familiar objects from home. Establish a routine as close as possible to your regular routine and be assertive with relatives about how you enforce limits with your child. Unless, of course you’re ‘Gwennie’ and under her roof. Then it’s her rules … or else.
9. Limit holiday candy; give healthy treats along with the seasonal goodies. So pumpkin pie counts as a vegetable, right?
Any more tips you’d like to share? Leave your comments here or email me at the address below.
~Erica Smith
Counting on moms
A lot of mothers — both married and single — sometimes do without to make sure their children get what they need or want.
As a mom, I know this to be true.
A story in today’s New York Times just bears this out.
Moms, it seems, are putting off their own needs to make sure their kids get their Christmas wish lists fulfilled, according to the story “To Buy Children’s Gifts, Mothers Do Without.”
Moms, does this resonate with you?
Do you put off buying things for yourself or doing things for yourself to ensure that your children are taken care of and have what they need?
Do you put off exercise and doing other things for yourself because of your children’s schedule or routine?
Let me know. Send an e-mail with your comments to chinton@opubco.com. Be sure to include your name, hometown and a phone number where you can be reached. Your views may be used for a future story.
Carla Hinton
Kids notice financial changes amid talks of bailout plan, bleak economy
My husband keeps saying we’re in a recession, we need to save money, we’re heading toward a depression.
I hear him. I hear the news. I see the effects of the financial crisis around me. People are worried.
Our children are aware, too. They listen to us talk, and I don’t want to scare them, but it’s good they know what’s going on … why Mommy might be a little hesitant to buy a spur-of-the-moment trinket.
Our youngest daughter, after hearing this topic discussed, selected a cheaper party favor for her birthday party. “Is this one OK, Mommy? It’s cheaper.” It kind of broke my heart, but it also made me proud that she is trying to help.
It’s not that our family has made major cutbacks yet. But we are considering our purchases more and thinking, “Do we really need this.”
I had told the girls I would shop for a new dining room table - we’ve used a card table with folding chairs for more than three years. (Some people are shocked by this, but I didn’t want to buy something frivolously) I also told the kids we would even look at some new bedroom furniture.
But this weekend I had second thoughts. … I listened to the news, the bleak picture, the bailout plan. Maybe we should wait just a little while longer to buy new furniture, I told them.
So, before I went to the grocery store, I clipped my coupons, made my list and tried to keep to the list as much as possible. I canceled a hair appointment. I cooked stew this weekend and made plans to cook more at home.
These are little things, but I’m trying to do my part. And, if my kids can learn something from it, I hope it’s a positive lesson, one about trying to make a difference in our own budget and learning that you don’t always go get something just because you want it. — Linda Lynn
Craving Crayola
Maybe it’s the bright hue of new markers, or the promise of a blank notebook, but I’m unable to resist checking out all the school supplies prominently displayed on store shelves.
I found wire bound notebooks for 10 cents each and got one in each color! I considered a Hannah Montana backpack, but decided it didn’t go with most of my work attire. I don’t remember what to do with a compass, but really really crave one.
Now is a great time to stock up on supplies, for you or your child. I think many stores undercut the prices of many basics just to get you in the door. Of course, they hope you’ll buy other things as well.
What are the best buys you’ve found? Have you splurged any? Comment here or e-mail me at ssimpson@oklahoman.com
Susan Simpson, Education Writer
Who says animation is just for the kids?
After the Hollywood Video store near our house went out of business last year, my family quit renting so many movies (Redbox is now our closest outlet and has very limited stock.) But we began buying the movies we knew the kids would watch over and over.
This has worked pretty well. We now have dozens of both classic and recent movies aimed at the under-12 set. A few are regretful purchases (Mimzy and The Wild didn’t inspire repeat viewings) but most will be great to hang onto until whatever new technology completely overtakes DVD. (I’ve only recently completed my long good-bye to the VCR.)
Occasionally, we go to a REAL MOVIE THEATRE and experience the big screen, buttered popcorn and all. This is a rather expensive way to spend every weekend for a family of four.
Last week, I took my 5-year-old to see Kung Fu Panda — how could we not after all the McDonald’s toys? — and she became restless within 30 minutes of its start. The popcorn and my pleading convinced her to stick with it through the end. I liked the movie and thought the animation was well done. Will we buy this movie when it comes out on DVD? Probably not.
This weekend I really want to go see Wall-E, Pixar’s newest animated feature. It’s gotten spectacular reviews from adults and children alike. I’ll take my 5-year-old and her sister, 10. I’m already planning to totally love the movie and think my girls will too. And yes, I already plan to buy it on DVD, I’m that convinced it’ll be a classic.
Maybe it’s because Wall-E is like my outdated VCR. Still functional, but not very sleek and swift.
Susan Simpson
Kindness of strangers
Most of the time when I go out, whether it is to the mall, or grocery store, or Target, it is just my son and me. He is my little “shopper.” I started him at a young age – 1 week old. I have a niece just a tad older than Hunter and her parents can’t take her anywhere. But if Hunter even just sees a mall, he’ll start yelling “SHOP SHOP!!” It really is a mom’s dream.
The only hard thing about just the two of us shopping together is trying to do the little things a third person would normally do, like holding the door open as I’m pushing Hunter’s stroller through. Or balancing the food tray on one hand and using the other to try to steer him toward a clean table in the food court. Or trying to squeeze us and his stroller into a small bathroom stall because I don’t have someone to watch him while I go.
So when people hold a door open or just help in some other little way, they probably don’t think much of it. But to me, it means the world. I was in Wal-Mart over the weekend for my weekly huge grocery run. Hunter was strapped into his shopping cart cover (best invention ever!) and I had just unloaded the bags into the trunk. His shoes were caught and I was struggling to get him out with one hand, and in my other hand, I had my purse and the bag with bread to put in the front seat. Right then a very nice man stopped and held the end of the cart so I could free Hunter. Then he took the cart down to the cart “corral” for me. He only had one bag of his own, but took the time to walk past his own car with my cart to put it back for me.
He probably never gave it a second thought, but for me, it meant that I didn’t have to struggle with the cart for five minutes and get frustrated. It meant that I got home those five minutes quicker and used them to enjoy the company of my little “shopper.”
-Erica Smith
