He has tried to tone it down for me a bit since then … even reminding me, “Mommy, remember don’t say hi.”

But Shari, a Hiccups reader, offered me some perspective on it.  Her daughter, Penelope, was also a chatty one growing up.  She tried methods I’m pretty familiar with … no eye contact, directing my responses only my child, trying to hurry in stores.   Not only because she didn’t feel like talking (much like me) but also for her daughter’s safety.

Growing up, Penelope continued to be social, meeting interesting people and being able to share interesting stories.

Her advice: Watch my son closely, but allow him the joy of being friendly.  She said he’ll go far in life with an outgoing personality. 

Thank you, Shari.  I sincerely hope I’m not stifling my little boy.  Maybe I just need to relax a little and be more willing to sacrifice my own quiet time to let him be himself. 

-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
esmith@opubco.com

Let’s take, for instance, the mall.  Nothing lures a pushy salesperson like a friendly toddler.  If they ooh and ahh and interact with your child for any extended amount of time, you automatically feel obligated to buy something.

How about wanting some quiet time out shopping?  It seems  like everytime he says hi to someone, it starts a conversation between me and the other person.  Sometimes I just don’t feel chatty.  Actually, most of the time I’m out running errands or shopping, I don’t feel particularly chatty.

And then there’s the leery guy lurking around … you know the one.  My boy always gives them the big “Hi!” and I suddenly feel uneasy.  And I can’t help but think if this is how predators lure away little kids – kids who unknowingly give them the OK.

So what am I do to?  I hate trying to inhibit my little boy’s personality but in this day and age, you have to be prudent. So I told him plainly to please stop saying hi to everyone.  I thought that worked until he told the lady at the shoe counter, and then everyone else, “Please don’t say hi to me.”

How do you combat stranger danger?  Let me know by commenting here or emailing me at esmith@opubco.com.  

-Erica Smith, Copy Editor

So Christmas has come and gone.  Santa has probably brought your kids a toy (or ten) and now you wonder what you can do with all those toys your kids don’t play with anymore or have outgrown.  I look at all my son’s baby toys and wonder what I can possibly do with them, as I am quickly running out of room. 

I took some suggestions from friends and family and here are a few:

1. Keep them.  If you plan on having more kids, you’ll be one step ahead and not have to buy all those toys all over again. 

2. Give them to friends. Especially expecting or new parents.  It will help cut down the costs for them and you’ll surely win friend points.

3. Consign them. There is a big consignment sale twice a year in Oklahoma City and Norman.  It’s the Just Between Friends sale and they take tons of toys, clothing, strollers, you name it. They pay the consignor 65% of the sale.  Not bad if you have a ton of stuff and would like to make a little back to put toward future toy and clothing purchases.  Go to their Website to sign up or get more information.  In Oklahoma City, go to http://okc.jbfsale.com.  The sale will be at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. In Norman, go to http://norman.jbfsale.com. The sales will be at the Cleveland County Fairgrounds. Registration begins in January and the sales are set for March.

4. Goodwill. 84 percent of the revenue brought into the Goodwill stores goes to their employment and training opportunities, which helps people find good jobs.  Go to www.goodwill.org or your closest Goodwill store for more information on how to donate.

5. Infant Crisis Services. This local nonprofit helps the youngest of children.  If you have baby toys that are gently used, they will gladly take them to give to families in need.  You can donate new or good used clothing (preemie to size 6) and shoes, and new or good used toys, among many other items.  Call 528-3663 or go to www.infantcrisis.org for more information.

These are just a few suggestions. There are probably many more charities or organizations that can take your children’s used clothes or toys.  It’s one way you can keep giving, even after the holiday season is over. 

If you have any other suggestions you’d like readers to know about, leave your comments here or email esmith@opubco.com.  I’d love to share them.

~Erica Smith

According to the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, injuries kill more children each year than diseases, kidnapping and drugs combined.  Children age 4 and younger account for nearly half of toy-related injuries and almost 90 percent of deaths. In Oklahoma, about 130 children through age 15 die each year from unintentional injuries. For every fatality, approximately 45 children require hospitalization and 1,300 require emergency treatment.

These are numbers that aren’t to be taken lightly. The health department offers these tips when purchasing a toy to keep those numbers as low as possible:

1. Always consider the child’s age and maturity level. Purchase a toy suited to the ability, skill and interest level of the child.

2. Toys intended for children older than age 3 should never be given to infants or toddlers. They may have small parts that pose a choking hazard. Children younger than 3 should not be given toys with cords or strings longer than 12 inches. Cords longer than this can get wrapped around a child’s neck.

3. Children younger than age 8 shouldn’t be given toys with sharp edges or toys that run on electricity (not including batteries).

4. Older children should be taught to keep their toys away from younger siblings.

5. Look for well-constructed toys. Check the toys periodically for broken parts that should be repaired or thrown away.

6. Consider the weight, size of the toy.

7. Make sure toys do not contain toxic paint or lead.

8. Costumes or pajamas should be labeled “flame retardant/flame resistant.”

9. If you give a child a bike, roller blades, skateboard or scooter, don’t forget to include safety gear like a helmet, knee pads and wrist guards as part of the gift.

If you started holiday shopping early, you can also check toys to be sure they haven’t been recalled since your purchase.  Go to www.cpsc.gov to be sure they aren’t on the list. And if you have children of your own, I highly suggest signing up for the website’s email announcements. As soon as a toy or other children’s item (such as clothes, cribs, etc.) is recalled, they let you know via email, complete with pictures of the items, where they were sold and when, and what to do with the recalled item.

Holidays are supposed to be a joyous and happy time, especially for the little ones. Let’s all be extra diligent in keeping it safe for them. If you have any other good safety tips, comment here or email me at esmith@opubco.com.

~Erica Smith

It’s that time of year.  The lights, the parties, the festivities, the shopping, the trees, the STRESS of the holidays.  Most of us have more to get done than we think we can possibly handle, especially if you add kids into the mix.  But are there ways to at least reduce some of the stress this wonderful season brings? 

The Oklahoma City-County Health Department offers some valuable tips on simple things you can do to make this season a little easier:  

1. Save decorating until a week before the holiday.  Save irreplaceable decorations for later years when children are older.  My son is two, so I won’t be buying any Swarovski Crystal or Tiffany ornaments this year.   

2. Shop ahead, throughout the year, while children are at school or home.  Good advice, unless you’re like me and just HAVE to close the mall down on Christmas Eve, just for the fun of it. 

3. Limit the number of times children stay with babysitters while you attend events.  Not a problem in my house – my babysitter is terminally unavailable.  

4. Avoid forcing a frightened child to sit on Santa’s lap.  Young children often enjoy stories and pictures but the real thing can be overwhelming. I tried to force my son to sit for a Santa picture last year.  All I got was a photo of a distraught toddler with red puffy eyes. 

5. Avoid forcing children to welcome unknown relatives with a kiss or by handing them over to be held by a stranger.  Allow the child time to warm up. Also good advice, unless you’re my mother ‘Gwennie’ and in that case, there will be no warm up time. Because she said so.

 6. If weather permits, encourage outdoor play to release extra energy.  OK, we live in Oklahoma. This is not hard. It won’t be cold until at least Febraury.  

7. Keep routines as normal as possible.  Be sure to expect behavioral changes anytime routines change. I find that this is pretty much a given with a toddler, at any time, in any season, for any reason. 

8. When traveling with a young child, allow extra time on the road.  Take some familiar objects from home.  Establish a routine as close as possible to your regular routine and be assertive with relatives about how you enforce limits with your child. Unless, of course you’re ‘Gwennie’ and under her roof. Then it’s her rules … or else.

9. Limit holiday candy; give healthy treats along with the seasonal goodies.  So pumpkin pie counts as a vegetable, right?

Any more tips you’d like to share? Leave your comments here or email me at the address below.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

As a mom, I know this to be true.

A story in today’s New York Times just bears this out.

Moms, it seems, are putting off their own needs to make sure their kids get their Christmas wish lists fulfilled, according to the story “To Buy Children’s Gifts, Mothers Do Without.”

Moms, does this resonate with you?

Do you put off buying things for yourself or doing things for yourself to ensure that your children are taken care of and have what they need?

Do you put off exercise and doing other things for yourself because of your children’s schedule or routine?

Let me know. Send an e-mail with your comments to chinton@opubco.com.  Be sure to include your name, hometown and a phone number where you can be reached. Your views may be used for a future story.

Carla Hinton

I hear him. I hear the news. I see the effects of the financial crisis around me. People are worried.

Our children are aware, too. They listen to us talk, and I don’t want to scare them, but it’s good they know what’s going on … why Mommy might be a little hesitant to buy a spur-of-the-moment trinket.

Our youngest daughter, after hearing this topic discussed, selected a cheaper party favor for her birthday party. “Is this one OK, Mommy? It’s cheaper.” It kind of broke my heart, but it also made me proud that she is trying to help.

It’s not that our family has made major cutbacks yet. But we are considering our purchases more and thinking, “Do we really need this.”

I had told the girls I would shop for a new dining room table - we’ve used a card table with folding chairs for more than three years. (Some people are shocked by this, but I didn’t want to buy something frivolously) I also told the kids we would even look at some new bedroom furniture.

But this weekend I had second thoughts. … I listened to the news, the bleak picture, the bailout plan. Maybe we should wait just a little while longer to buy new furniture, I told them.

 So, before I went to the grocery store, I clipped my coupons, made my list and tried to keep to the list as much as possible. I canceled a hair appointment. I cooked stew this weekend and made plans to cook more at home.

These are little things, but I’m trying to do my part. And, if my kids can learn something from it, I hope it’s a positive lesson, one about trying to make a difference in our own budget and learning that you don’t always go get something just because you want it. — Linda Lynn 

While it provided a great opportunity to buy inexpensive books without leaving my house, I also felt somewhat guilty.

I assumed there will be other club flyers this year, so I only bought three books. I also assumed his mother would buy books.

However, would I be a bad parent if I didn’t buy at least one item from my son’s school fundraisers, including $1 books from the Scholastic Book Club? I’m a newbie at the whole public school thing.

Any help would be appreciated.

Write comments below to share with others, too.

Thanks!

— Brian Sargent
Click to send me an e-mail

Together you can make a budget with your child, and then hit the store to gather the goodies. Borba said allowing your child to pay for the items (using a gift card or your credit card) also can help teach them financial responsibility.

Borba also recommends that families stock up on supplies that are real bargains. Sure you may only need five notebooks, but if they are 5-cents each, why not buy 50?

What advice do you have for buying school supplies? E-mail me at ssimpson@oklahoman.com or comment here.

Susan Simpson, Education Writer