Line ‘em up — Tales from a cracker box
My 5-year-old son just started wanting his crackers lined up — perfectly. If one cracker is turned a little to the left or right, he protests.
The first time I noticed this was when he seemed cranky, distressed. I tried everything to appease him, thinking he might be wanting a different snack, might feel bad or maybe was just tired.
Then, I straightened his crackers, and the clouds parted.
Really?
This isn’t my first experience with childhood obsessions. My oldest daughter started lining up her toys at a young age. My youngest daughter had to have her silverware laid out properly on a napkin (even if paper) when we went to restaurants. This was rarely successful after our son was born, since he tended to grab anything that was on the table.
My sister tells a story about when our first child spent the night at her house. My daughter was crying about wanting her red socks. Those particular red socks were filthy, but my sister dug them out of the laundry and put them on my little daughter’s feet. … ahh, peace.
This is the same girl who would have me take her shoes off until I could get the little seam on the end of her tights to stay on top of her toes, instead of at the ends of her toes.
It’s these little things that can stress a parent — and a child.
Our son always says, “Thank you” and “Bless you.” But you better be quick with a return, “You’re welcome.” He demands it.
At least he has good manners.
Linda Lynn
The negotiator has arrived
It’s starting. My 4-year-old son has mastered the art of negotiation.
He’ll want to ask for something he already knows will be a hard sell. “Mom, now don’t say no. Just listen. And just don’t say no.”
I sigh. “OK, what is it.” And you know what? It works. I’m such a pushover. When my little guy asks so sweetly and pleadingly for something, it’s impossible to say no and he knows it.
The same thing happens when he knows he did something wrong and punishment is inevitable. “Mom, now don’t get mad, even just a little mad. OK? Promise?”
Sigh. “OK, what did you do?” Again, he has complete success. How could I get mad when he prefaces his confession with that plea?
Or there’s the obvious deal-making. “So if I drink all my milk, and eat all my dinner, then I get two ice cream sandwiches, right? Two healthy things means I get two treats. That’s fair.”
Sigh.
I’m really in for it, aren’t I.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Christmas shopping complete?
The frenzy is almost over …
Less than 3 days away from the kids’ most anticipated day of the year.
For some of us, the shopping frenzy started the day after last Christmas.
For others, it hasn’t started yet (after all, the malls and stores are open Christmas Eve for that very reason).
Still others are going to be taking full advantage of 24-hour shopping (no, not online … at your local Toys R Us store!)
And although I don’t plan to have a hankering to shop at 3 a.m. anytime soon, I know that the early/late hours are helping people get those last wishes fulfilled.
So what about you? Are you all done or have you not even started yet? Somewhere in between? Let us know!
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Keep your little goblins safe this Halloween
Like most good parents, I’m sure you already know all about keeping your trick-or-treaters safe on the big night.
But a few reminders could never hurt.
Here’s some tips from Safe Kids USA (which includes Safe Kids Oklahoma):
- Encourage children not to trick-or-treat alone. They should go in groups or with a trusted adult.
- Place reflective tape on their costumes or on their treat bags so they are visible to drivers.
- Examine all candy thoroughly. Check for any signs of tampering.
- All children should have their own flashlight so they can see and be seen.
- Emphasize to your children the importance of looking both ways when crossing a street. Tell them to use crosswalks, if possible.
- Be sure costumes fit well, to prevent trips and falls.
- Let children know they are NEVER to enter a person’s home unless they are with a trusted adult.
- Try to purchase flame-retardant costumes and keep away from open flames.
Have a very SAFE and HAPPY Halloween!
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Take some time to be 5 again
I recently had a birthday and you know how kids are … birthdays are the COOLEST thing since sliced bread. They don’t quite understand how adults just don’t count down the days to their next mid-30s birthday.
My 4-year-old son on Thursday morning greeted me with a “Happy Birthday, Mommy!!” and it really was the cutest thing. He even thought we were going to my “birthday party” and when he saw me pulling into the school parking lot instead, he let out the most heart-wrenching “Noooooo!” and the tears started flowing. I felt awful. What kind of mid-30s mother doesn’t throw a party for herself? So I promised him just that. A party.
So here I am, picking him up from school and ready to keep this promise. “Where should we have Mom’s party?” I should have expected his response. “Chuck E. Cheeeeeeese!!” Sigh. OK. We can do this. We invite his best friend and his friend’s mom and headed on down to see the big mouse.
To be honest, the next couple of hours were the most fun I’ve had in a while. Our “host” greeted me with a big sticker and a handful of free tokens. Score! Then we scarfed down a pizza and got ready to play some skee ball. It was great. Even Chuck E. came out to take a picture with me. I felt like I was a kid again. Which was appropriate, because if you ask my son how old I am, he’ll say “5″ with absolute certainty.
Take my advice … You’re never too old to be 5 again.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Mother’s touch brings miracle
Here’s an inspiring story about a newborn baby boy, born premature at 27 weeks and pronounced clinically dead, who seemingly was brought back to life by the touch of his mother. Get out the tissues for this very inspiring story.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38988444/ns/today-parenting/
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Readers sound off on school spankings
Last week, I wrote about our school district’s policy allowing corporal punishment (click here to read that post). I received many responses on both sides of this issue. Here are excerpts from just a few:
“I’m not sure what part of beating someone begats more beatings of someone smaller or “lower” than you the world does not understand. We have proved over and over again that harsher methods of punishment do not stop the problem and most often make it worse. Many moons ago we didn’t have the ability to understand our inner workings of our minds. Today we have a little bit better handle on it – but we still insist on using archaic methods to bring people “in line” with society’s rules.” -Linda Houck Maloney
“I am in total agreement with those who believe that corporal punishment (spanking) of disobedient, etc., children in schools, from grades 1 through 12. … I am a Christian, fairly conversant with the Bible, believe what it says, and it says in my Bible, “If you don’t chastise your child, you hate him.” That says it all. … As a retired counselor, I have always asked a new parent this question: “Do you want to train this child or do you want the child to train you?” -Arthur P. Long, Guthrie
“Lady, you are so wrong -wrong – wrong. I taught in the public schools for 31 years, and i am proud to say I have spanked many children – I am prouder to say I never hurt a single one physically.” -Larry Cooper
“If I were you, I would write a letter to the school stating that you do not wish for your son to be corporally punished under any circumstances. Make a copy of it for your records, and send it registered mail (or certified w/return receipt). May sound like a hassle but it’s a worthwhile precaution.” -Tom Johnson
“The overwhelming evidence shows that corporal punishment is related to increased aggression, more antisocial behavior, increased criminality, more mental health problems and increased adult abusive behaviors later in life. In the states that have abolished paddling in school, school violence has declined and academic achievement has increased. And common sense tells us that when big people hit little people, the message is clear that this is the way we solve problems and it’s okay to do this. I refer you to the website stophitting.org.” -Fran Morris, State Coordinator, Oklahomans Opposed to Corporal Punishment
“I grew up in California and before the mamby pamby psychologists took over, corporal punishment was used and used often. I believe its a great deterrant to further trouble from the student and the students that know what will happen if they get out of line. … The non-corporal punishment era is full of smart or foul mouthed students that have no respect for authority because the teachers have no authority in schools anymore.” -Mike DeFeo, Edmond
“I and many other concerned citizens have been working (sadly for DECADES) to ban physical/corporal punishment of children in schools. My teenaged son was threatened with a paddling for going outside for supervised free-time when he was supposedly told to stay in, but thankfully, we have always taught our children that “No one has the right to touch them, they can say “No”, get away and tell someone” which is why he told the Assistant Principal to call us. … We’ve never had any trouble with out kids, they’re reasonable, well-behaved and intelligent.” -Julie Worley
I learned a lot from many of your responses, so thank you for joining in on this discussion.
More information on corporal punishment
1. According to the American Civil Liberties Union, 20 states still have districts that allow corporal punishment. That means 30 states are using alternative forms of discipline that don’t involve paddling or spanking.
2. A bill was introduced to Congress on June 29, 2010 (H.R. 5628) to end the use of corporal punishment in schools. Click here to read the full bill.
In short, the purposes of this bill are to:
(1) eliminate the use of corporal punishment in schools;
(2) ensure the safety of all students and school personnel in schools and promote a positive school culture and climate;
(3) assist States, local educational agencies, and schools in identifying and implementing effective evidence-based models to prevent and reduce–
(A) corporal punishment in schools;
(B) aversive behavior interventions that compromise health and safety; and
(C) physical, emotional, or psychological abuse.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Family, friends make trip home so memorable
It’s been 4 years since I’ve been home. Why 4 years, you ask? Because this blogger doesn’t fly.
I know, I know. It’s the safest form of travel. You can spout off statistics all day long and I still won’t board a plane. Call me crazy. Especially when you hear that I drove, (yes, drove) to Connecticut, which is about 1600 miles from Oklahoma City … with a 4-year-old. Yep, that’s me, the crazy lady.
But to be honest, it was amazing. The drive was long, but my son was terrific on the drive up and back. Thank goodness for car DVD players! It took us about 2 1/2 days each way and we were able to stop at some fun spots along the way, such as the Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, Mo., and the Ohio State Fair on the way back. The Great American Road Trip. That’s what we were on.
The best part, though, was going home. Seeing all my family, some dear friends, including a girl I’ve known since I was 5, and even Simba the family cat. It was a two-week whirlwind. Trips to museums, the beaches, and of course, New York City. My son was in heaven when he stepped foot into the largest Toys R Us – the one in Times Square. He got to meet his heroes, Iron Man and Spider-Man. It doesn’t get any better than that for a 4-year-old boy. And the train ride back to Connecticut to boot. He was in awe.
Seeing his Gwennie (his grandma) and grandpa, his Uncle Will and great-grandparents was such a treat. They spoil him and he knows it. Family friends were calling day and night, wanting to catch a visit with us. With some, we could fit it in, with others, we just couldn’t make it this trip.
Now, I’m back in Oklahoma and find myself missing home. I may sound like Dorothy, but there really is no place like home and no one like family and lifelong friends. I know I won’t be able to wait another 4 years to go back, airplane or not.
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- Dinner out with Uncle Will, Hannah, and Gwennie
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- Chatting it up with NYC’s finest
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- Gwennie and Hunter explore Times Square
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- Enjoying the beach with Gwennie
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- Meeting Iron Man and Spider-Man in New York
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- Enjoying the beach near my parents’ house
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Parenting by Personality: Raising a kid who is your exact opposite
The Oklahoman’s Heather Warlick-Moore is referring to this article from Working Mother magazine in her column on Sunday.
Here are some tips in a story by Laura Flynn McCarthy with Working Mother Magazine for getting along with you children when your personalities and interests clash:
She’s a wallflower; you’re the life of the party. Couch potato; soccer star. Stylesetter; slob. When raising an opposite, focus on understanding your child rather than on your differences.
Kathy Weymiller describes herself as a “borderline-clumsy nonathlete who loves the arts.” The Gig Harbor, WA, elementary school principal’s idea of a perfect day includes watching opera on PBS. So, what’s the problem? Her two sons, Alex, 15, and Ben, 13, couldn’t be more different. Not only do they excel in math and science—Kathy’s worst subjects—they’re also athletes. Before she could say “La Bohème,” her life suddenly revolved around basketball and batting practice. “When my sons started playing basketball this year,” Kathy says, “I had to get the For Dummies book because I knew nothing. I’d never even been to a game in my entire life.”
Kathy thought she’d finally have a quiet, artsy kid to join her at the theater when she and her husband adopted their daughter, Ellie, from Russia. Ellie, now 5, has other ideas. “Inside her tiny body is a great big personality,” says Kathy. So much for mommy-daughter quiet time listening to Yo-Yo Ma. Ellie would much rather chase her brothers around. “At their sports games,” Kathy says, “Ellie will march right up to the dugout and shout, ‘All right, boys, I want to see hustle today!’ And they’ll listen to her!”
Raising a child who’s nothing like you can feel like a voyage to an alternate universe. But it’s also an opportunity to nurture a unique personality rather than experience a mini-me. (more…)
All aboard! Thomas is coming to town
Thomas the Tank Engine is chugging into Oklahoma City and tickets are on sale for this very fun event. According to the event website, Day Out with Thomas is in its 15th year, and as always, the Oklahoma Railway Museum will be hosting Thomas’ arrival.
Besides getting a train ride with Thomas, children can enjoy other activities such as arts and crafts, storytelling, playing with toy trains, meeting characters and getting a look at the history of Thomas, who is turning 65 this year.
Get tickets soon, as this tends to sell out. Dates of the event are Sept. 24-26 and Oct. 1-3. Tickets cost $14 to $18 each. When you order tickets online, you can choose which train you’d like to sit in. Pay extra attention to which train car you choose. Some are air conditioned, some only have sliding windows, and others are completely open. Also, I suggest picking an early morning ride to avoid high temperatures.
Two years ago, I mistakenly chose the 2 p.m. time slot and the car with only the sliding windows. Since some of the cars are so old, some windows won’t open. That was our window. September was especially hot that year, and my then-2-year-old son was completely decked out in his Thomas overalls, Thomas polo shirt, Thomas conductor hat, socks and shoes. We couldn’t bring our drinks on board, but it’s a 30-minute ride. No big deal.
About two minutes after we pull out of the station, my son starts screaming and crying. He’s sweating, he’s red in the face, he’s hot as can be. I didn’t know what to do and we couldn’t get off the train. We were starting to get some mean looks from other paying passengers. He cried the entire ride. People were upset with us, asking employees for their money back and just generally being more than annoyed.
About a year later, I was talking to some parents at my son’s day care about how Thomas the Train was back in town. All of a sudden, one parent starts talking about this screaming child on her train car last year … decked out in Thomas overalls, polo and conductor cap. She described my son to a T - an entire year later. She was on that car. She was one of the parents demanding a refund. Yikes.
Me: ”Oh, we didn’t get to go last year … how awful … why would his mom dress him in such hot clothes in the middle of summer? … “
So please take my advice. Choose the air conditioned car. Get an early time and don’t dress your child like a conductor. After all, it’s September in Oklahoma.
For a schedule and tickets, click here.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
