No more morning struggles
Bonnie Harris, author of the new book “Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (Adams Media, September 2008),” has plenty of tips for parents seeking solutions for morning time struggles between children and parents.
Several are listed in today’s Life section of The Oklahoman. Here are more of Harris’ tips to transform stressful mornings:
1. Decide what the best morning routine is for everyone. Make a chart. If you have a white board, write each agenda item with a box next to it for your child to check off when done.
2. Pick out clothes the night before.
3. Make lunches the night before.
4. Go over the next day’s schedule the night before.
5. Remind children to get backpacks ready before the bedtime routine starts — don’t expect this to be done without reminders unless you have an especially organized child.
6. Establish a rule that anything you have to do concerning homework is done the night before or it doesn’t get done.
7. Get up earlier and get your personal routine done before waking the children.
8. Ease your child awake with a smile and a back rub — unless she uses an alarm clock.
9. If you’re creative, prepare a “fancy” breakfast menu to present to your children when they get up. This can be a once in awhile option.
10. If things are not going smoothly, even silently acknowledge everyone’s agendas.
11. If your child is cranky, validate how hard some mornings are to get going and that you often have the same problem. Each day is different.
12. If there is a particular problem your child is dealing with, acknowledge the problem, and offer help and support without trying to fix it.
Bonnie Harris founded The Parent Guidance Center (now The Family Center) in Peterborough, N.H. in 1990, which is dedicated to parent education and support. She is the director of Connective Parenting and has designed and taught parenting workshops and counseled parents for 20 years. Sign up for her e-newsletter by going online to www.connectiveparenting.com.
What’s in a (teacher’s) name?
When my daughter was in pre-K last year, I always wondered if I should call her teacher by her first name or address her the same as students do. I’m faced with the same dilemma this year. I’d prefer first names. After all, we’re all adults. Any thoughts, especially from teachers?–Christy Watson
School fundraisers
The school year was only a week old when I saw it: the dreaded packet that meant it was time to start hawking gift wrap, candies, candles and other expensive trinkets all to benefit my daughter’s school. Then yesterday, I received an email from a good friend with pictures attached. Surely they were of her cute kids. I was partially right. It was two pictures of her adorable son, fresh from his third day of kindergarten asking for people to go online and buy from his school fundraiser. His class can get an ice cream party if everybody participates and he wants to win a flying stuffed pig. Honestly, the approach is very parent friendly. Go online, click on what you want to buy, enter the student’s ID number and voila! No door knocking for kids or parents. No going desk-to-desk at work and trying to collect money. Personally, I prefer the approach I found tucked into my daughter’s fundraiser envelope, which invited parents to simply write a check to the school. Still, I’ll no doubt pass around the fundraising catalog and buy from the other kids we know. After all, it’s for a worthy cause. But I hope my daughter doesn’t win a flying stuffed pig. — Christy Watson
School’s in ….. but I’m still stuck in summer
Finally, it’s Friday. Edmond schools started classes Wednesday, and many of you might feel like I have since the kids started back to school … This … has … been …. a … long … week.
At the beginning of summer I signed the kids up for a three-week summer camp, and it helped to keep them on a regular sleep schedule. But when that ended, it all went downhill from there.
So, it’s been a little difficult to get back into the routine. Getting the kids up in the mornings isn’t really the problem. It’s getting them to bed and keeping them in bed.
Let me know if you have any tips that helped your family get back to the school schedule. We have several weeks to go before summer break comes again! So any shared solutions might help the school year go more smoothly. — Linda Lynn
The Lessons Start Early
First day of school Lesson No. 1:
Be mindful where you park. In the rush of parents walking their children into school this morning, my car was blocked by another vehicle. Thanks to the kind dad that helped me maneuver out of the tight spot!
Lesson No. 2: No photos please! My daughter was not at all interested in having her picture taken. How will I scrapbook this momentous day? I’ll try again tomorrow.
Lesson No. 3: Don’t forget the ice pack in the sack lunch. I did and then had to remove an item that needed to be kept cool. Luckily that still left a cookie and a peanut butter sandwich (crusts removed.)
Lesson No. 4: Take a deep breath. Smile big when you wave goodbye. Don’t cry until you get to the car. You’ll be stuck there for a while anyway.
Susan Simpson, Mom of a KINDERGARTENER! (Can you believe it?)
Wake Up!
For many families, Back to School time means a change in schedules. But getting everyone up and ready in the morning doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are a few tips from http://family.go.com/
Cut out caffeine during the day.
Too much caffeine can wire kids up and make it difficult for them to drift off to sleep at night. As a result, they are tired and cranky when the alarm goes off in the morning.
Keep your routine as consistent as possible — even on the weekends.
While it’s fine to let them catch up on a little sleep, it’s not smart to let them sleep their Saturdays and Sundays away. If you do, they’re going to have a hard time adjusting back on Monday morning.
If your child normally gets up at 7 a.m. on a weekday, don’t let her sleep any later than 8 or 8:30 on the weekend.
Don’t expect a young child to be able to use an alarm clock.
Most experts say that alarm clocks aren’t really useful until a child is around 12 years old or in the sixth grade. Before that, you’ll need to go in and get them up. (And, unfortunately, even after age 12 you still may need to go in and make sure they get up after their alarm clock rings.)
Use the night before to get organized.
Pack the backpack, set out the bowls and spoons for breakfast, and pick out the clothes your child will wear. Remember, the less surprises you have to deal with in the morning, the less hectic it’ll be for everyone.
What tips do you have?
Susan Simpson, Education Writer
School supplies shopping is educational
Shopping for school supplies can be more than an errand, it can be a great learning experience for your child.Parenting expert Michele Borba recommends having your child help you make a list of supplies, then look for store flyers to find the best deals. Younger children that can’t write can cut out photos of the supplies they want.
Together you can make a budget with your child, and then hit the store to gather the goodies. Borba said allowing your child to pay for the items (using a gift card or your credit card) also can help teach them financial responsibility.
Borba also recommends that families stock up on supplies that are real bargains. Sure you may only need five notebooks, but if they are 5-cents each, why not buy 50?
What advice do you have for buying school supplies? E-mail me at ssimpson@oklahoman.com or comment here.
Susan Simpson, Education Writer
The kindergarten scoop
My 5-year-old started kindergarten today. She reported these highlights:
*No snacks in kindergarten, except for special occasions.
*Kindergarten students get to play on the “whole, big playground.” In pre-k, they were confined to a small part of the playground.
*Show and tell will happen, but the details are still to be announced. Her green ballerina bunny is ready and waiting, though!–Christy
Short week can mean big headache
Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about state employees moving to four-day work weeks, saving them a day of gas money and in some cases, easing energy costs to operate buildings.
In theory, it sounds great. Work four 10-hour days and then get a three-day weekend. Who wouldn’t love that?
But for parents that depend on child care, it can be a nightmare. Many daycares charge the same whether your child is there four days or five. And not all are open long enough hours for parents who travel any distance to work.
I could work 7 to 5, but if daycare doesn’t open until 7 a.m. or later, I’d never make it to my desk on time. Plus, I really wouldn’t want my kid to be class for 10 hours each day.
What do you think? Are four-day and 40-hour work weeks a fit for your family?
Susan Simpson
My son did WHAT??
We all have that nightmare … that we go to pick up our child at daycare or school and we get “the talk” … the talk about something horribly wrong they did …
As many other parents here, I have my 2-year-old son in the OPUBCO Child Development Center. Friday afternoon, I leave work and go pick him up. As I walk in among other parents, I hear the lady at the front desk tell the others ”we had a fire drill today.” How nice. They really take the kids’ safety seriously over there. Fire drills and tornado drills. Makes my day at work more at ease knowing my boy is in such a safe environment.
So I walk back to his classroom to pick him up. The two girls who take care of his class, God love ’em, gave me “the look.” It’s the look that you know something’s coming, but you’re not sure what. All you know is that it won’t be good.
“Hunter pulled the fire alarm today.”
“My son did WHAT??”
“He pulled the fire alarm today. We had to call off the fire trucks and the entire building had to evacuate.”
“My son did WHAT??”
I was shocked, yes, but I must admit a part of me wanted to laugh hysterically. Of course, I tried my best to maintain my composure, however, as pulling fire alarms is NO laughing matter. Even if the accused is only 30 inches tall and … can he really reach the alarm? Apparently so.
“We told him not to touch it anymore. We were all quite startled when the alarm went off. But we looked over and Hunter was walking away from it, with a look of ‘Uh-oh’ on his face.”
After many apologies, I scoop up my little innocent toddler (maybe not so innocent after all) and we leave the classroom. As I’m about to break free … the infant-room teacher sees me in the hall and says, excitedly, “Did you hear that Hunter pulled the fire alarm?!?”
Yes, I did. As I’m sure anyone within a half-mile radius did too.
-Erica Smith
