Playgroups are FREE and for children from birth to 36 months old and their parents.  Play clothes are suggested.

Parents will be able to play with their kids and meet other parents.  Facilitators will also be there to talk about behavior of young children, language, age-appropriate play activities and positive parenting. 

Here are some dates & locations:

Edmond: Peace Lutheran Church, 2600 E Danforth Rd. 
Nov. 5, 19 and Dec. 3, 17.  
Sessions are 9 to 10 a.m.  and 10:15 to 11:15 a.m.

NW Oklahoma City: Mayfair Church of Christ, 2340 NW 50.
Oct. 28, Nov. 25 and Dec. 9. 
Sessions are 2 to 3 p.m.

Midwest City: Doctor’s Tower, 3rd floor, 6912 E Reno.
Nov. 10, 24 and Dec. 8, 22.
Sessions are 10 to 11 a.m.

To participate, you must pre-register by calling 425-4412.  And check out the health department’s schedule of upcoming parenting workshops by going to http://www.cchdoc.com/ and clicking on the Parent Express Newsletter on the right-hand side.  

-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com

As a parent of a toddler, I knew I couldn’t possibly be the only one who experiences the store -induced temper tantrums, the difficulties with getting him to eat, and dealing with this little person who is constantly asserting his independence.

I was greatly assured that yes, thankfully, my child is completely normal and not a pint-sized T-Rex.

Here are seven great tips I learned:

1. Don’t ask questions that require simply a yes or no answer.  Instead, give your toddler some choices.  But be sure you can live with any of the choices.

2. Avoid power struggles.  It takes two to argue, so take yourself out of the equation. Consider allowing him to be his own boss, unless he poses harm to himself or others.

3. Children won’t do what doesn’t work.  Ignore temper tantrums. Easier said than done, but if you want the tantrums to stop, you’ll have to stop reacting to them.

4. Make a statement. When talking to him about his day, don’t ask questions, but instead make statements.  I tried this and it works!  Instead of “Did you play outside today?” try “So you played outside today!” You’ll get lots more response from your little person.

5.  Use descriptive commentary.  Like a sports announcer, talk about what they’re doing as they’re doing it.  It promotes conversation, builds vocabulary and makes them feel important.

6. Focus on behaviors you want, not the ones you don’t want.  Instead of “stop running” say “I like it when you walk next to Mommy.”  And always be specific in your praise. Just saying “Good girl” won’t let them know what exactly they’re being good about.

7. Use humor, and keep your sense of humor.  Your toddler is learning to be an independent person and it can be a fun time if you just let it happen.

The health department has a great lineup of workshops and parent talks.  I highly recommend attending. Their staff is knowledgeable and they give great advice. Go to www.occhd.org and click on the Parent Express Newsletter or call 425-4412 to find out what’s coming to a location near you.

-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com

Discussions will allow for parenting questions in areas of speech, language, development and behavior.  Children don’t need to be present but may attend. 

Sessions are by appointment only.  To schedule an appointment, call 425-4412.  For more information about this program or others, call 427-8651 or go to www.cchdoc.com.

-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com

Sponsored by the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, “Common Challenges with Toddlers” is a free program focusing on common issues of this age group, including temper tantrums, biting and trouble sharing.   Parents will learn how to minimize their frustrations with these behaviors and learn solutions to help put an end to them.

The program is from 3:30 to 5 p.m. at the library, 10 S. Boulevard.

If you want to enroll, call 425-4412.  If you can’t go, no worries.  I’ll be there taking very detailed notes and I’ll be sharing what I learn and posting it here. 

-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com

These individual sessions will last about 30 to 45 minutes and will be with a speech/language pathologist and child development specialist.  They will go over what’s normal in early development and discuss any questions and concerns parents or caregivers may have about speech, language development and behavior. Children do not need to be present (although they may attend) and sessions are by appointment only.

Call the child guidance program at 425-4412 to schedule an appointment.  For more information, call 427-8651 or go to www.cchdoc.com.

-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com

This week, Katie, my 14-year-old, asked if she and a friend could be dropped at the mall on a Friday evening to see a movie. This is not the first time this discussion has occurred at our house. And, once before, my husband did let her see a movie with friends without supervision, but it was during the day.

The first time I let Katie even walk the mall alone with friends was at her 14th birthday party. But I stayed and pushed her little brother around in a stroller while they “did their own thing.”

Lenore Skenazy has received support and flack for letting her young son ride a subway by himself. She is the author of “Free-Range Kids.”  

Skenazy encourages parents to let their children roam and experience new things by themselves, empowering them to be individuals and not live in fear.

I admit this is just the opposite of how I continue to raise my children. I know I’m “too” protective by some standards. Yes. I used to roam all over our 200-acre farm when I was younger. I would go fishing and exploring by myself. And, although it wasn’t my choice, at 14 years old I walked the streets of Washington, D.C., when I was separated from my Close Up tour group. The next day, about five of us (without adults) rode the subway and toured our nation’s well-known monuments and museums.

I loved the experience. 

So, why do I try so hard to shelter my children from their own adventures?

I live in fear of ”what if.” I read the newspaper. I watch the news shows. And I’m appalled and scared by what might could happen.

Is there maybe a happy medium? But what would that be?

Share with me your stories of letting your children experience independence. Do you let them walk alone to school, the grocery store or snowcone shack? What are your limits on your children’s independence?

– Linda Lynn

llynn@opubco.com

Here are some good ideas I received from readers:

1. Cheerios.  This was an overwhelmingly popular method.  Teach the little guy to “aim” and sink the round O’s and it’s almost as fun as Duck Hunt and Battleship.

2. Rewards.  Gumball machines, dollar store toys, getting to go with adults on errands because they’re “big kids,” and countless others.  Most parents are big on using positive reinforcement – lots of reassurance, compliments and even dancing. Yes, dancing.

3. Timers. Set it for every 20 or 3o minutes minutes and have them sit on the potty. Eventually they’ll get conditioned to go as soon as they hear the timer go off.

4. “Naked and $75.” Let him go around the house without a diaper for a few days to get him to want to use the potty.  The $75 is to have your carpets cleaned when he’s done.  A few parents really endorsed the “naked” method and putting a portable potty in rooms where the kids are most comfortable (living room, play room, etc.) and maybe using lots of juice to help things move along.

5. Just wait. I got some helpful feedback from parents who were concerned that I was maybe sending the wrong signal to my son by making him use the potty.  They suggested waiting until he was ready in his own time and finding a day care who accepted that.  One parent said this is his decision, one of the few a toddler has.  Another said parents who haven’t had success potty-training their kids shouldn’t feel like failures, that patience is key.

Well, I have big news for my fellow parents.  My son is now potty-trained!  What seemed like an impossibility Friday afternoon is now a very real accomplishment for my little man. I was all set to get a huge box of Cheerios and kitchen timer after work when my son had a bad “accident” in a public place and I had to rush home with him. We got home, I sat him on the potty once more, gave him some juice and waited for a miracle.  It happened. Not just once, but all weekend.  I have never been so happy to be woken up at 6:30 a.m. by my son who wants to go potty and stayed dry all night. I never thought this day would come.  No more Pull-Ups, no more diapers. What a change.

So I thank our readers for their wonderful responses and ideas. In the end, my son did it in his own time and on his own terms … although the two glassfuls of juice did help him find his own time a bit quicker. It just happened to be the same day as my very public plea (but maybe he planned it that way all along).

-Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

When my oldest child was 9 months old, he got really picky about what he ate. His hands played goalie to his mouth and only a limited variety of foods was allowed in. Except the day he ate a junebug off the floor as he crawled around. I got there just in time to hear the crunch. It was gross. I’ll spare you the details.

Now the New York Times is saying here that kind of behavior might be instinctual, that babies who put everything in their mouths as soon as they get mobile might be protecting their immune system more than the ultraclean environments some live in today.

“In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with “dirt” spur the development of a healthy immune system,” writes Jane E. Brody in the New York Times. 

Experts she quoted speculate that the increase in the number of immune system disorders – like asthma, allergies or Type 1 diabetes – diagnosed each year may be related to the idea that we should keep our children from germs of any kind.

The lesson here is that while cleanliness is still a virtue, it’s OK to allow some dirt in your house, and your children don’t always have to wash their hands after touching it. And if they eat a junebug or a worm or some other disgusting thing they pick up off the floor, then they might actually be helping their immune systems. 

 ~ Lillie-Beth Brinkman (lbrinkman@opubco.com)

Please tell me it’s not possible. 

We all know about the terrible twos.  They are notorious for being difficult. The sudden independence, the tirades and tantrums, the battle of wills that a 2-year-old always wins.  So why is everyone telling me 3 is worse? 

Because there may be some truth to it.  Over the past few months, as my son inches closer to the 3-year mark, he has become … well, difficult.   He seems more intent on doing things his way.  Forget what Mom tells him to do.  Sometimes it’s like he even outright ignores me.  And the demands … “get it now!” or “I said I want a hot dog!” or “No! I won’t go to school today!” What suddenly happened to my always perfectly sweet and innocent baby? 

On babycenter.com, one of their experts answers the question “Is there such a thing as the terrible threes?”

Developmental psychologist Susanne Ayers Denhams explains that 2-year-olds are eager to explore and if they come up against a barrier (like Mom) they can react with intense negativity.  Their developing identity also has them testing limits and with their growing vocabulary, sometimes they still can’t voice what they want in a way parents will understand. 

She goes on to say that 3-year-olds can go through the same trials of growing.  Cycling through phases is common (being at peace, getting frustrated or discouraged, going through life changes) so rough patches can really happen at any time.  New discoveries can make a child angry and they can start reacting to demands put on them at home and day care. They can lash out if they are aggravated and it’s a common emotion at this age.

She also offers tips on dealing with difficult 3-year-old behaviors and tantrums:

-Stay calm and don’t take it too seriously.

-Encourage your child to put their feelings into words and be patient if he or she can’t do that quite yet.

-Figure out what’s bothering your child and attempt to resolve it.

-If all else fails, and you think it may be a caused by another underlying problem, you may want to consult with a pediatrician for advice.

We’ll see how this works out.  Any other advice is welcome here! Let me know how life is with your toddler.  Comment below or email me at esmith@opubco.com. 

~Erica Smith

We have a very nice teacher from the school district, who comes over to our house once a month to play and interact with my son.  She evaluates where he is as far as learning and development.  She charts his progress and gives me tools that are relevant to his age.  This program is for any parent of an infant or toddler who wants to give their child the best chance of being ready for school, by taking the opportunity to start learning at home.

Here is a description of the program, from their national website, www.parentsasteachers.org :

Parents as Teachers (PAT) is a parent education and family support program serving families throughout pregnancy until their child enters kindergarten, usually age 5.

Parents are supported by PAT-certified parent educators trained to translate scientific information on early brain development into specific when, what, how and why advice for families. By understanding what to expect during each stage of development, parents can easily capture the teachable moments in everyday life to enhance their child’s language development, intellectual growth, social development and motor skills.

As a Parents as Teachers family, you receive:

-Personal visits during which your parent educator will share age-appropriate child development and parenting information, help you learn to observe your child, and address your parenting concerns.

-Parent group meetings which are opportunities to share information about parenting issues and child development. Parents learn and support each other, observe their children with other children and practice parenting skills.

-Screenings to assess your child’s overall development as well as health, hearing and vision.

-Resource network that links your family to other community services.

The program is offered throughout school districts in Oklahoma.  To find the contact for your district, click here.

I can’t recommend this great program enough.  This is a resource that is free and its benefits are priceless. 

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com