Toddler challenges answered
I had the great opportunity last week to go to a class sponsored by the Oklahoma City-County Health Department at the Edmond Library, called ”Common Challenges with Toddlers.”
As a parent of a toddler, I knew I couldn’t possibly be the only one who experiences the store -induced temper tantrums, the difficulties with getting him to eat, and dealing with this little person who is constantly asserting his independence.
I was greatly assured that yes, thankfully, my child is completely normal and not a pint-sized T-Rex.
Here are seven great tips I learned:
1. Don’t ask questions that require simply a yes or no answer. Instead, give your toddler some choices. But be sure you can live with any of the choices.
2. Avoid power struggles. It takes two to argue, so take yourself out of the equation. Consider allowing him to be his own boss, unless he poses harm to himself or others.
3. Children won’t do what doesn’t work. Ignore temper tantrums. Easier said than done, but if you want the tantrums to stop, you’ll have to stop reacting to them.
4. Make a statement. When talking to him about his day, don’t ask questions, but instead make statements. I tried this and it works! Instead of “Did you play outside today?” try “So you played outside today!” You’ll get lots more response from your little person.
5. Use descriptive commentary. Like a sports announcer, talk about what they’re doing as they’re doing it. It promotes conversation, builds vocabulary and makes them feel important.
6. Focus on behaviors you want, not the ones you don’t want. Instead of “stop running” say “I like it when you walk next to Mommy.” And always be specific in your praise. Just saying “Good girl” won’t let them know what exactly they’re being good about.
7. Use humor, and keep your sense of humor. Your toddler is learning to be an independent person and it can be a fun time if you just let it happen.
The health department has a great lineup of workshops and parent talks. I highly recommend attending. Their staff is knowledgeable and they give great advice. Go to www.occhd.org and click on the Parent Express Newsletter or call 425-4412 to find out what’s coming to a location near you.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Free parent talks Sept. 9
Oklahoma City-County Health Department’s Child Guidance program is offering FREE parenting sessions at the Edmond Library on Sept. 9. These are individual sessions lasting 30-45 minutes and will be conducted with a speech pathologist and child development specialist.
Discussions will allow for parenting questions in areas of speech, language, development and behavior. Children don’t need to be present but may attend.
Sessions are by appointment only. To schedule an appointment, call 425-4412. For more information about this program or others, call 427-8651 or go to www.cchdoc.com.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Anyone have toddler challenges?
If so, a class at the Edmond Library Wednesday may be just the thing to help you.
Sponsored by the Oklahoma City-County Health Department, “Common Challenges with Toddlers” is a free program focusing on common issues of this age group, including temper tantrums, biting and trouble sharing. Parents will learn how to minimize their frustrations with these behaviors and learn solutions to help put an end to them.
The program is from 3:30 to 5 p.m. at the library, 10 S. Boulevard.
If you want to enroll, call 425-4412. If you can’t go, no worries. I’ll be there taking very detailed notes and I’ll be sharing what I learn and posting it here.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
“I’ve had my limit!” Can school please start now?
School starts back next Tuesday for my kids.
Anyone else ready for their children to get back into school?
I wouldn’t have expected to be so happy about this. But our house has seemed even more chaotic than usual. I’m not sure that it’s actually that the kids are out of school. I think the strain is partially caused by the stress of preparing to go to school.
Beyond the usual requirements of getting school supplies and some added clothing items to round out their wardrobes, we also are dealing with three information day sessions we need to attend, band meetings, band camp, doctors’ appointments, daycare enrollment, transportation issues with busing my young son to and from daycare, freshman orientation, both daughters’ worries that they won’t have friends in their classes, orthodontist and dentist appointments, approaching birthday party planning, passports for an overseas band trip …
And did I mention the frenzy of cash flowing out of our pockets to pay for many *incidental* things?
Last night, as my daughter asked me a question repeatedly after I had answered twice, I started to count to 50 … not 10, but 50.
At first, I thought, “What is happening to our family?” For several days we had all been snapping at each other, voices were being raised. Everyone, except maybe for the youngest member of our family, was ready to get away from each other.
Then, it occurred to me that maybe the stresses, anticipation, extra this and that were taking their toll.
So, yes, I think we’re ready to start school.
Then, we can deal with sleep issues, homework, ballgames, teacher conferences, lunches, juggling schedules and mealtimes …..
– Linda Lynn
More milestones (and a knee in my rib)
The milestones seem to come and go so quickly. There’s the weaning off of bottles. The “disappearance” of the pacifier. Getting rid of dirty diapers … for good! And then there is …
THE TODDLER BED.
For two hours last weekend, I converted my son’s crib, Transformer-style, into a toddler bed. My son was ecstatic. I was relieved. “A big boy bed!”
I dutifully padded the floor around it, just in case of an accidental roll-out. I tucked him in for a nap and he did great. No major injuries, no crying fits. Then came the real test … sleeping through the night. I put him to bed, woke up the next morning and my first thought was “Wow! That worked! How easy is this!”
Not so fast.
There they were. Two little feet nestled next to my head. My son sound asleep next to me. A middle-of-the-night escape.
OK, I thought … so maybe it would take a night or two for him to get used to his bed. Maybe he got scared. Maybe there’s dinosaurs in his closet. But now it’s Friday. And I’m still waking up every morning to a visitor in my bed.
Now, I’ve seen all the nanny shows on TV. I’ve seen parents repeatedly put their kids back into their own beds, where they belong. But what do you do when they sneak out of their bed every night and you don’t know until you have a knee in your rib or an arm draped over your head the next morning?
If you have any ideas, short of deadbolting his door shut, please let me know!
-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
esmith@opubco.com
Free parent talks
The Oklahoma City-County Health Department has scheduled free parenting sessions at the Edmond Library on Wednesday, July 8. The sessions are for parents and caregivers.
These individual sessions will last about 30 to 45 minutes and will be with a speech/language pathologist and child development specialist. They will go over what’s normal in early development and discuss any questions and concerns parents or caregivers may have about speech, language development and behavior. Children do not need to be present (although they may attend) and sessions are by appointment only.
Call the child guidance program at 425-4412 to schedule an appointment. For more information, call 427-8651 or go to www.cchdoc.com.
-Erica Smith
esmith@opubco.com
Time for Roll Call – “Ma-MEE!” “Da-DEE!” “Issie!” …
My 4-year-old has a quirky little habit. He takes roll call when our family is driving down the highway.
“Ma-MEE!” he will say enthusiastically. I reply, “Yes, Cade?” as if he needs something.
Then, “Da-DEE! is shouted out as promptly as I respond. Daddy says, “Yes, Cade.”
And Cade continues his roll call:
“Issie!” (which is for Kaci)
“Nanny!” (which is for his sister Katie)
If any of us say, “Here!,” like you would in an actual roll call, he protests loudly. Or, if you don’t answer right away, he continues until you acknowledge him.”
“Issie!” “Issie!” … “ISSIE!!” Please, Kaci, answer him.
So, on a recent trip to Texas, one of our oldest daughter’s friends, Alex, came with us.
After a few miles down the road, Cade began:
“Ma-MEE!” …. Yes, dear.
“Da-DEE!” … What, Cade?
“Issie!” … Yes.
“Nanny!” … Yes, Cade.
“GAH!” …….
We all paused and realized he had named Alex “GAH.”
After we quickly explained to her what was happening, Alex responded, “Yes, Cade?”
– Linda Lynn
A little perspective on chatty kids
A couple of weeks ago, I described instances where my son can be a little more outgoing than I would like or feel comfortable with.
He has tried to tone it down for me a bit since then … even reminding me, “Mommy, remember don’t say hi.”
But Shari, a Hiccups reader, offered me some perspective on it. Her daughter, Penelope, was also a chatty one growing up. She tried methods I’m pretty familiar with … no eye contact, directing my responses only my child, trying to hurry in stores. Not only because she didn’t feel like talking (much like me) but also for her daughter’s safety.
Growing up, Penelope continued to be social, meeting interesting people and being able to share interesting stories.
Her advice: Watch my son closely, but allow him the joy of being friendly. She said he’ll go far in life with an outgoing personality.
Thank you, Shari. I sincerely hope I’m not stifling my little boy. Maybe I just need to relax a little and be more willing to sacrifice my own quiet time to let him be himself.
-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
esmith@opubco.com
Wrestling with a 4-year-old
My 4-year-old has started becoming very strong-willed, stubborn, independent …
Whatever you want to call it, the result is that I’m physically strained to keep up with the little booger.
Cade is cute, and he has the most heartwarming smile. But his defiance is wearing me out.
When we cross the street, I expect him to hold my hand. But that just won’t do. He either wants to walk on his own or he just sits down wherever he is. The end result is that I pick up this squirming 35-pound wiggle-worm to get to the car, house, store, etc.
When I try to put him in a car seat, he stiffens his back, twists to the side, cries out … he’s a strong little boy. I used to be able to distract him with a song or a book. But now it has to be just the right book, and he definitely doesn’t want me to sing. (Channeling Simon Cowell?)
By the way, the car seat is not an option. I’m persistent until he is properly buckled into his “big boy” chair.
And, so it goes. As long as Mommy is involved, he’s determined to resist or disagree.
Welcome to the WWMF (Wiped-out Wrestling Mommy Federation).
– Linda Lynn
Stranger danger?
My son has a somewhat cute, however slightly annoying (yes, annoying) habit of saying “Hi!” to every single person he sees. Not only does everyone get a big greeting and smile, but they also get a rundown of what his shark eats and what kind of growl his dinosaur makes. While you may be saying to yourself “awwww, how cute!” let me tell you how it’s not exactly the cutest.
Let’s take, for instance, the mall. Nothing lures a pushy salesperson like a friendly toddler. If they ooh and ahh and interact with your child for any extended amount of time, you automatically feel obligated to buy something.
How about wanting some quiet time out shopping? It seems like everytime he says hi to someone, it starts a conversation between me and the other person. Sometimes I just don’t feel chatty. Actually, most of the time I’m out running errands or shopping, I don’t feel particularly chatty.
And then there’s the leery guy lurking around … you know the one. My boy always gives them the big “Hi!” and I suddenly feel uneasy. And I can’t help but think if this is how predators lure away little kids – kids who unknowingly give them the OK.
So what am I do to? I hate trying to inhibit my little boy’s personality but in this day and age, you have to be prudent. So I told him plainly to please stop saying hi to everyone. I thought that worked until he told the lady at the shoe counter, and then everyone else, “Please don’t say hi to me.”
How do you combat stranger danger? Let me know by commenting here or emailing me at esmith@opubco.com.
-Erica Smith, Copy Editor
