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It’s that time of year.  The lights, the parties, the festivities, the shopping, the trees, the STRESS of the holidays.  Most of us have more to get done than we think we can possibly handle, especially if you add kids into the mix.  But are there ways to at least reduce some of the stress this wonderful season brings? 

The Oklahoma City-County Health Department offers some valuable tips on simple things you can do to make this season a little easier:  

1. Save decorating until a week before the holiday.  Save irreplaceable decorations for later years when children are older.  My son is two, so I won’t be buying any Swarovski Crystal or Tiffany ornaments this year.   

2. Shop ahead, throughout the year, while children are at school or home.  Good advice, unless you’re like me and just HAVE to close the mall down on Christmas Eve, just for the fun of it. 

3. Limit the number of times children stay with babysitters while you attend events.  Not a problem in my house - my babysitter is terminally unavailable.  

4. Avoid forcing a frightened child to sit on Santa’s lap.  Young children often enjoy stories and pictures but the real thing can be overwhelming. I tried to force my son to sit for a Santa picture last year.  All I got was a photo of a distraught toddler with red puffy eyes. 

5. Avoid forcing children to welcome unknown relatives with a kiss or by handing them over to be held by a stranger.  Allow the child time to warm up. Also good advice, unless you’re my mother ‘Gwennie’ and in that case, there will be no warm up time. Because she said so.

 6. If weather permits, encourage outdoor play to release extra energy.  OK, we live in Oklahoma. This is not hard. It won’t be cold until at least Febraury.  

7. Keep routines as normal as possible.  Be sure to expect behavioral changes anytime routines change. I find that this is pretty much a given with a toddler, at any time, in any season, for any reason. 

8. When traveling with a young child, allow extra time on the road.  Take some familiar objects from home.  Establish a routine as close as possible to your regular routine and be assertive with relatives about how you enforce limits with your child. Unless, of course you’re ‘Gwennie’ and under her roof. Then it’s her rules … or else.

9. Limit holiday candy; give healthy treats along with the seasonal goodies.  So pumpkin pie counts as a vegetable, right?

Any more tips you’d like to share? Leave your comments here or email me at the address below.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

Sounds fun, right?  Well, not so much.

Last weekend, I had the great pleasure of moving … with a 2-year-old.  We didn’t move far, just a few miles closer to work, and to a much bigger place and much quieter community.  However, that doesn’t ease the strain and hassle of moving.

Since it’s just us two, I had to figure out a way to get everything packed in the few days prior to the move, with a toddler underfoot in every room of the house. As I would fill up boxes, he would take things out of them. If he saw a toy he hadn’t played with in months being boxed up, all of sudden it was his favorite and must be taken out and played with immediately.

When two of my friends came to move everything, all he wanted to be was part of the action.  I couldn’t help all that much moving things because I had to constantly watch him.

And for days to follow, I couldn’t for the life of me, find the right cup or plate or toy in the 40 plus boxes I had in the new place. I couldn’t find his favorite bedtime books or the caboose for his train set. And I heard about it - every day.

But we’re slowly getting settled.  He only refers to it as ‘the new house.’ If I say ‘we’re going home’ he gets upset because the last time he saw ‘home’ as he knew it, it was an empty spot where things used to be.  But going to ‘the new house’ makes him happy and excited, which makes it home to me.

Soon enough, it will be home to him, too.

Any horror stories about moving with kids?  Share them here or e-mail me at the address below.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

This is a difficult post to write, because usually topics on this blog are more lighthearted and positive.  But I am going to try to turn a tragic situation into one I hope to learn from, and maybe other readers will as well.

Friday night, my 2-year-old son, my mom and myself attended a hayride at the Orr Family Farm.  On the same ride as us was an 18-month-old girl and her mom.  My son and this little girl were picking out pumpkins in a pumpkin patch just five minutes before both our worlds were changed forever. We were witnesses to that little girl tragically losing her life immediately following that very ride.

This has been a near impossible thing to wrap my mind around.  It’s something that causes shock and disbelief one minute, and despair and sympathy the next.  It’s something I never thought I would have to see, and now is something I’ll see for the rest of my life.  I can’t begin to imagine what her parents are going through and my heart and prayers have been with them since. Their lives are changed in ways I can never imagine.

I took a very hard lesson that night.  Life really is so very fragile. The unthinkable can happen in a split second. Treat every moment with your children and family as a precious gift, because that is what it is. Give those you love an extra long hug and extra big smile next time you see them.  Tell them you love them, and love them unconditionally.

If you’d like to know more about Zoe Madeline Montgomery, please click here: NewsOK.com. And please keep her parents in your thoughts and prayers.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

Those of us celebrating this fun holiday with a toddler, may be thinking “My child is too young for trick-or-treating, but I can’t let the day go by without some festivities to create that picture perfect moment of my little one in full costume.”

Here are some ideas that might be a bit more toddler-friendly than trick-or-treating.

Have a get together at your house.  This works especially if you have other friends with toddlers.  They can have food and games just for them.

Go to the zoo.  The Oklahoma City Zoo sponsors “Haunt the Zoo” every year, and we go … every year.  You won’t see the exhibits, but you’ll meet alot of friendly zoo employees who will be giving out all kinds of goodies.  They also provide plenty of picture opportunities.  Go to www.okczoo.com for more information.

Festivals.  There are plenty around the metro. It seems that every church, YMCA and other community center is hosting a fall festival or carnival.  Take advantage of these, as many are free and they’re a fun, safe alternative to trick-or-treating.

Hand out candy. Dress your toddler up in their costume and let them pass out candy to visiting trick-or-treaters.  Chances are, they’ll just love the opportunity to show off their costume to neighbors.  And you’ll get to watch Halloween specials on TV.

And if you do decide to brave the neighborhood for goodies, just be sure to follow the basic rules of trick-or-treating:

-Wear light-colored clothing and/or reflective tape on costumes.  Don’t cross streets between parked cars.

-Go in a group, and while it is still light out.  Use flashlights if it’s dark. Don’t go to any house that has the lights turned off.

-Inspect all candy carefully and discard anything that has a torn or missing wrapper or could have been tampered with in any way. 

If you have any more good safety tips or suggestions for Halloween, post them here or email esmith@opubco.com and I’ll post them for you.

~Erica Smith

It’s a hard concept to grasp, but seemingly it can be true. 

Objectively, I would have to say my 2-year-old son’s demeanor is very mild.  He is affectionate and already demonstrates a certain compassion for others, as simple as it is. I have been very lucky that he has never taken out frustration or anger in a physical way - never a biter or a hitter.

These qualities also may make him a target of bullying.  In his class, he has a friend who is bigger than him (my son is small for his age), more outspoken and a bit aggressive. I’m going by what I’ve seen myself and what other parents have said.  The interaction between the two boys is starting to worry me though, because my son is now reenacting his negative encounters with this child, over and over again.

I’ll pick him up from daycare and about 5 minutes into the ride home, I’ll hear him in the back seat reliving the day’s events. “No No!  No push Hunter!  Be nice, (child’s name), be nice!”  or “No hit Hunter - go time out, (child’s name)!” At first I thought it was an idle situation, but lately this is an everyday occurrence.  I’m worried that it can scar him in a way that may, in turn, make him aggressive, or set him up for a lifetime of being a target of bullies.

One thing I can’t really do is talk to this child’s mom.  We are friends, and I don’t want to see a friendship go sour over this and there is no real delicate way to bring it up.  The daycare teachers are giving the boy time outs so I can’t say they’re not doing their part. 

I’m not sure where to go from here. If anyone has suggestions, please let me know.  I would love to hear some!

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

I’m a fan of reality TV, I’ll admit it.  I’ve been avidly watching this season of America’s Got Talent and I must say, the talent does not disappoint.

There is one talent act that has bothered me though, especially lately.  It is that of 4-year-old singer Kaitlyn Maher. 

The premise of this show is to find a talent that can sustain an audience in Las Vegas as a headline act, along with a considerable cash prize.  I understand the novelty of having a 4-year-old sing for a national audience, but I really do think America (who keeps voting her back) doesn’t quite get this premise and I think if she wins, it will be a hard lesson to learn. 

Realistically, having a 4-year-old sing for a 90-minute show for a Las Vegas audience is asking for failure.  It may sound harsh, but I don’t see droves of people lining up, paying to see her sing.  Not only do I think she can’t keep up a show that long, but Piers Morgan, the only judge who has given a reality check about this act, is pleading to America not to put her through, and not to put her through that. 

As novel as it is, we must remember this girl is only 4 years old.  She doesn’t belong on a Vegas stage, she belongs in pre-school, singing children songs with her friends and family, watching PBS Kids, eating graham crackers and goldfish, and learning to read.

And I don’t believe the judges are blameless, either.  After all, they did know the winning act gets a show in Vegas and they could have cut her before the live shows. 

So now it’s in America hands.  We’ll see tonight if they did the right thing and sent this little girl home.

~Erica Smith

esmith@opubco.com

If you’ve read my blogs, you already know I’m a big fan of the Oklahoma City Zoo. 

Last night, my son and I attended the ConZOOvation event at the zoo, and it was a blast.  For $6 (the price for each adult, kids went free), we had an evening of dinner , crafts and a puppet show. They had the characters from OETA’s show Between the Lions and Chick-fil-A supplied dinner to the kids and adults.  Kids also got to make their own lion puppets and had a goody bag complete with animal book to take home with them.   

Also, once a month, we attend a class with other 2-year-olds and they do all kinds of fun things.  There’s story time, craft-making, and the zoo staff bring in a “friend” … usually something alive that the kids can touch and come face to face with.  It runs about an hour on a Saturday morning, once a month and they have a different theme each class.  For Zoo Friends, each class is $10.00 and for others it is $12.00 per child.  Well worth it!

Visit the zoo’s Web site, okczoo.com, click on education, then events, then toddler programs to see the programs offered for kids 5 and younger and special events.  There’s some fun things coming up like Family Fun Night for Zoo Friends members and Cupcakes with Santa in a few months.  For a monthly schedule of events, look under “Zoo News” on the homepage or go to http://www.okczoo.com/wimgo/.

Have fun planning your next trip to one of Oklahoma City’s best attractions!

~Erica Smith

esmith@oklahoman.com

Well, we made it.  My 2-year-old boy, Hunter and I came from an OU game relatively unscathed.   Rain delay and all.

I learned alot Saturday, so I would like to share my newfound knowledge with other parents.

Here are my tips when bringing a toddler to a major sporting event:

1.  Bring your own snacks.  OU will let you bring in food for babies and small children, so load up and skip the $4 hot dogs.  We brought pretzels, Cheerios mix and Rice Krispies treats.

2.  Freeze a big bottle of water and pack it in your bag.  My son got to stay cool all through a hot game and I didn’t have to spend money on the super-expensive water at the stadium.

3. Keep your child engaged in the game.  By the end of the first quarter, Hunter knew to say “Touchdown!” and “Ooooooooo U!” It made the game a blast for me and him.

4.  At the first sight of lightning, LEAVE.  We made the mistake of waiting until it was too late, and I was stuck underneath a stadium with about 50,000 other people braving the rotating thunderstorm directly above us.  Not to mention the very long trek through mud afterward to catch a shuttle.  My arms are still sore from carrying my little 30-pound Sooner fan all that way.

5. Bring your camera.  Yes, they’re allowed and you won’t want to miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like this one …

~ERICA SMITH

esmith@oklahoman.com

Is this something that is possible?  Without me losing my hair or sanity?

I have tickets to OU’s season-opener this Saturday.  First, I am a bit suprised that you have to buy a full-price ticket for a 2-year-old but according to the athletic office “any human being going into the stadium needs a ticket.  Even infants.” 

Yeah, I guess infants would fall into the “human being” category, although I couldn’t imagine bringing one to a game.  But a toddler, well, that may or may not be worse.

I hope I’m not crazy to try this, but maybe he’ll have a blast and we’ll have an extra activity to add to our fall calendar.  Has anyone tried it?  If so, give me the lowdown and some good tips if you have them. 

~Erica Smith

esmith@oklahoman.com

I really need some help with a very awkward and embarrassing situation I experienced over the weekend.

My son is in a class at the zoo.  It meets once a month, and it is specific to his age.  All the children in the class are 2 years old.  The class is terrific and I highly recommend it to anyone.  They have different age groups so any child can sign up.  The cost is $10-$12 per class.  In his class, they do learning activities, look at exhibits, do crafts and read stories. 

On Saturday, we were in the craft portion of the class.  All the kids sit at tables and the parents are right there with them.  My son takes a spot next to a little blond girl.  I didn’t notice at first, but she apparently suffers from a skin disorder, maybe psoriasis or something along those lines.  Her skin was red and blotchy and looked to be peeling. But I didn’t think twice about it and so we started working on the craft. 

About 5 minutes into it, my son looks over at her, points to her arm and lets out a huge “EWWWWW!!!” complete with scrunched-up nose and big grin.  I think my heart stopped.  I could feel her parents’ eyes on me and I immediately turned red. I was mortified. I didn’t know what to do.  I went on instinct and tried to cover as best as I could by saying “yes, Hunter, ewww,  you got glue on your hands!”

What do we do in a situation like that?  I couldn’t punish him - after all, he is only two.  If I tried to talk to him about it afterward, he would have long forgotten about what I was even referring to. 

Please, fellow parents, tell me how you would handle that and if you have had a similar situation happen to you.  I really need some advice on this because I have a sneaky suspicion this won’t be the last time!

~Erica Smith

esmith@oklahoman.com