Spending time on a dime
The vacation spot that looked so good in those glossy brochures is a distant memory.
By mid-April, as I watched the fuel prices climb, the “Big summer vacation” quickly became “What vacation? Did I say we were going on vacation?”
The good news is we don’t have to spend a lot of money to have some fun. It’s a fact that most good moms and dads must pass on to their children.
Sissy Osteen, Oklahoma State University associate professor and resource management specialist with the Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service, knows where I’m coming from.
She offers the following suggestions for spending time together without overspending:
1. Do your homework. Be smart. Many hotels and resorts are offering rebates on gasoline and airfare. Go online and look for deals. While on the road, a motel pool is cheap entertainment for children and a free continental breakfast for a family of five is $50 that can go into the gas tank.
Above all, if you haven’t budgeted for a trip, don’t succumb to the temptation of using credit cards to pay for it.
2. Stay close to home. Route 66 still offers kicks. The car is still the cheapest formof family transportation and Oklahoma has more miles of the historic roadway to explore than any other state. Visit destinations the family can reach and return home in a single day, and pack a picnic lunch to save on food expenses. Also communities throughout the state offer a wealth of free summer festivals and celebrations.
3. Let’s get together. Growing average life expectancy means retirement is getting longer for Americans. Hobbies are essential to happiness during retirement. This summer pursue an activity the entire family can share for many years. Begin learning to play tennis, golf or another sport. Learn to play a musical instrument. Take a class together. Buy cameras from a second-hand store and take up photography.
4. Not just for kids. The summer reading program at the public library is an experience the entire family can enjoy. So are volunteer programs. Teach children the rewards of philanthropy by involving the family in a community service activity this summer.
— Carla Hinton
Who says animation is just for the kids?
After the Hollywood Video store near our house went out of business last year, my family quit renting so many movies (Redbox is now our closest outlet and has very limited stock.) But we began buying the movies we knew the kids would watch over and over.
This has worked pretty well. We now have dozens of both classic and recent movies aimed at the under-12 set. A few are regretful purchases (Mimzy and The Wild didn’t inspire repeat viewings) but most will be great to hang onto until whatever new technology completely overtakes DVD. (I’ve only recently completed my long good-bye to the VCR.)
Occasionally, we go to a REAL MOVIE THEATRE and experience the big screen, buttered popcorn and all. This is a rather expensive way to spend every weekend for a family of four.
Last week, I took my 5-year-old to see Kung Fu Panda — how could we not after all the McDonald’s toys? — and she became restless within 30 minutes of its start. The popcorn and my pleading convinced her to stick with it through the end. I liked the movie and thought the animation was well done. Will we buy this movie when it comes out on DVD? Probably not.
This weekend I really want to go see Wall-E, Pixar’s newest animated feature. It’s gotten spectacular reviews from adults and children alike. I’ll take my 5-year-old and her sister, 10. I’m already planning to totally love the movie and think my girls will too. And yes, I already plan to buy it on DVD, I’m that convinced it’ll be a classic.
Maybe it’s because Wall-E is like my outdated VCR. Still functional, but not very sleek and swift.
Susan Simpson
Second time around
My second child, who I lovingly refer to as the “man in the middle,” just started driver’s education class this week.
I’m so thrilled I could dance a jig out in the school parking lot.
I may actually be happier than he is that he will be driving soon.
Flashback to the month my first child began to drive: I was a bundle of nerves ready to find any excuse for him NOT to take the wheel.
By day I scowled at speeding motorists jetting down the highway in their “death mobiles.”
By night my fears followed me into my dreams and I had nightmares about all sorts of horrible things happening to my son on the roadway.
Needless to say, I survived and so did he.
Now there is only joy that my middle one will be motoring around.
It’s not that I won’t worry about him.
I will, there’s no doubt about it.
The happiness comes as I see him prepare for another rite of passage … plus (big plus, HUGE plus) my days as chauffeur extraordinaire are numbered.
Can you say vvrrroooom vvrrrooom?
Carla Hinton
Through a child’s eyes
Having a child is truly an amazing experience. Things that are normally mundane are now striking awe in a young person and I get to experience that with him.
I can’t help but wish I was a bit “newer” to the world. Everything would capture my interest and make me wide-eyed. The littlest things would make me say “Wow!” or ask, “What is that!?”
My son takes such pleasure in the things I see every day, things I hardly notice. I used to hate having to wait at the railroad crossing at Western and Britton, especially if one of those extra-long freight trains were coming through. But now I relish it. I hope I get to stop just so my little boy can get excited. His mouth will drop and his eyes will get as big as saucers . “Train!!! Choo-choo!!” I’m actually almost a little disappointed if we sail through that intersection without seeing one.
Most people don’t look forward to seeing the building they work in every morning. But I do because my little boy gets so happy, he can hardly stand it. “It’s Mommy work!!! Big!!” And I get to tell him, “That’s where Mommy is when she misses you.”
And if we get to see the guys mowing the lawn at my apartment complex or at his daycare center, then it’s all over. That would have just made his day. And mine.
And I realize, when you see things through the eyes of a child, you do get to be “new” to the world again. Watching his reactions to the world around him is something new for me to experience.
And what a wonderful a world it is.
-Erica Smith
“Baby pact” in the news
The national spotlight is shining on Gloucester, Mass., but that’s not necessarily a good thing these days.
The most recent edition of TIME magazine includes a story about a so-called “baby pact” made between a group of girls at Gloucester High School.
The author of the story appeared on NBC’s TODAY Show this morning to discuss her interviews with school officials. She said they told her that several pregnant teen girls, out of a total 17 at the school, had confessed to making a pact that they would each get pregnant at about the same time and raise their babies together.
One girl apparently was impregnated by a 24-year-old homeless man, the TIME reporter said.
None of them, according to reports, is older than 16.
The blogosphere is abuzz with this latest bit of news, particularly since actress Jamie Lynn Spears, 17, reportedly had her baby on the same day that the world got wind of the so-called high school baby pact.
One interesting blog is Pregnant Pause, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy’s Web log.
What are your thoughts about the Gloucester baby pact?
– Carla Hinton
Moving up is hard to do
I’ve been through a lot of changes with my son and he has accepted each one without resistance and with a big smile. I always thought that no matter what, I could make anything better, because, well, I am Mom and that’s my job.
My 2-year-old has been promoted recently at daycare. He has been promoted a few times in his 2 years … from the newborn class, to the first toddler class, to the second. But in his new 2-year-old class, he is having a very hard time and it leaves me not knowing how to make it better.
He used to love going to “school.” In fact, some days, I couldn’t get him to leave with me at the end of the day. He talked about all his friends on our way there and tried to tell me about his day on the way home. He woke up excited to go every morning.
Now, it is a struggle to get him out of his crib. He doesn’t want to eat. He is silent the entire drive there and when he gets there, he reaches for his old classroom’s door and starts screaming and crying when I bring him into the new room.
His teacher said that a few children have had a hard time adjusting, even though they are with their friends. They have a lot less freedom and more structure, to prepare them for preschool. She said it should get better in a few weeks, but any parent knows how hard it is to leave a crying child who is reaching for you, to makes things better.
I feel helpless, but I know it has to get better.
Today I left him crying again, but just as I left, his teacher ran out to catch me so that I could see him through the window. He had stopped crying and was sitting down at the table, painting me a picture. The roles reversed … today, my little man made me feel better.
-Erica Smith
Happy Father’s Day to Moms, too
I had three calls yesterday … one from my Mom, one from my sister-in-law and one from an old friend. All called to wish me the same thing … a happy Father’s Day.
Many kids grow up in a household of a single mom. These are the moms who fulfill both roles – those of a mom and a dad. Among our many duties, we are the disciplinarians, the lone chauffeur, the lending ear, the entertainment, the teacher, the security blanket and most importantly, the beacon of unconditional love.
When you do it all, sacrificing unselfishly and without a second thought, you deserve to be celebrated … twice. I never really thought about it that way until yesterday.
So to all single moms everywhere, I hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day. You deserve it.
-Erica Smith
Visit the father’s day page today!
Happy father’s day, dads! Please visit our Father’s Day page to honor those fathers whose children wrote in to say how special their dads are.
Father’s Day contest entries are all winners
Great daddies go fishing, cook pizza, give lots of hugs, and work hard for their family. Some daddies work three jobs, plant gardens, ride horses, and they have fun with their kids even when they are really tired.
These are some of the attributes mentioned in letters and e-mails sent by children from towns throughout Oklahoma for the “Why I love my father” contest sponsored by The Oklahoman. There are lots of great Oklahoma daddies, and they are all winners in the eyes of their children.
Colorful artwork showing daddies and the kids sharing outdoor activities under bright happy sunshine accompanied some of the contest entries. Others wrote poetry, or included a photo. Several children wrote about how much they appreciate their stepdads, others about being adopted. They describe daddies who are kind, caring, willing to serve their country, help keep the city safe in their jobs as police officer or state trooper. Kids say they love to go out for ice-cream with their dad, ride bikes, and have help with homework, and scouting projects.
They wrote about their dad’s love for animals, how he never lets them down, goes through cancer treatments, attends school events, and loves their mother.
Daddies may not think their children notice all they do for the family, but the letters demonstrate the kids notice everything, and many of them listed the attributes of their special dad one through 10.
It’s all about love, and that came through in every letter, e-mail and drawing. Some entries arrived on notebook paper, poster paper, and a 13-year old girl wrote her letter in gold ink.
All of the dads are winners, and rate Number One.
Chris Jones
Surviving the teen years
My son just got a dirt bike. He’s 15.
Apparently, my husband and I lost our minds at the exact same moment. I knew we were slowly driving each other crazy over the years, but I never thought we’d simultaneously snap.
Because of our mental lapses, our son now has a shiny new dirt bike. Well, it was shiny for the trip home and for a brief time in the garage. Then, he rode it. Now, it has a nice scrape along the side, and both signal lights have been demolished. Oh, and he’s proudly sporting a skinned elbow and knee.
We live in the country which gives my son plenty of grass to ride on, and for that, I’m grateful. Of course, when he crashed the first time, he was turning around on the concrete driveway. Funny how that works.
I had a flashback to my own childhood as I watched him tearing across the yard a few days ago. I was raised on a farm and we were around dangerous equipment all the time. I was a kid when seatbelts didn’t exist unless you had one of those “fancy” cars, and even then they were usually buckled and stuffed between the seat cushions. We rode in backs of pickup trucks and sitting on sides of a tractor. We stood on the running board of the big grain trucks as we bumped and jostled our way down to the grain bins or out to the cattle pasture. When the family drove to the swimming hole (yes, that’s what we called it), my dad would put a board across the bed of his truck for kids to sit on. And, the day it hailed on us … well, we just held up the big towel Mom threw back there for us to use as shelter.
Which makes me wonder? How did we survive?
Believe me, I’m not advocating riding in a car with no seat belt or putting kids in the back of a truck. It’s a different time. Things are faster and there are more cars on the roads. The world seems more stressed. The only road rage I ever knew about in my childhood was when you were driving down a dirt road and the car coming toward you didn’t ease over enough and give you both room to pass. And, even then, the road rage manifested itself with only a curt nod to the other person … no smile, no howdy.
Believe me, I’m as cautious as the next parent. When my son was growing up, I dutifully put him in a car seat. I walked him to school to protect him from strangers and I didn’t turn him loose to play in the neighborhood sight unseen. I don’t believe it takes a village to raise a child, I believe it takes parents.
But, now he’s a teenager and has a dirt bike. There’s no car seat on that thing. He is required to wear a helmet, not only be me, but by state law. Thank goodness.
Like it or not, I see that he’s growing up. He’s taller than my husband, wears a bigger shoe, and he’s shaving. I can’t always protect him. He has to be given responsibility to make wise decisions. All I can do is keep medical supplies handy … and pray.
Any parents out there who’ve been down the dirt bike trail with their kids? I could use some advice.
- Guest contributor, Judy Hooper, The Oklahoman
