Farm life ain’t a parade

There aren’t many reality shows I watch with my kids, other than American Idol. But last night, I let my almost-five-year-old join me to watch part of a new television show “The Farmer Wants a Wife.” It’s along the lines of “The Bachelor” but a little more folksy and homespun. Here’s the premise: 10 city girls move to a Missouri farm to vie for the affection of a real farmer. The 20-something farmer plays up his wholesome image and tries to romanticize farm life.

I grew up on a farm. So I tried to debunk some of the “fun” the ladies were having. I told my daughter that:

* Swimming in a farm pond is NOT a great idea. There’s likely to be snakes, snapping turtles and some unhappy cows nearby.

* Tractor races look like a blast. But you have to have multiple tractors to race. Most farmers don’t and wouldn’t want you messing up their fields anyway.

* Farmboys (and girls) really ought to wear their shirts. A bare chest will get you a nasty sunburn and maybe some skin cancer. Not so sexy.

* Bingo halls sure look like fun, at least on this show. But in real life, they are full of smoke and dashed dreams. Or is that a casino I’m thinking of?

So what will I do if my daughter ever says she wants to marry a farmer? I’ll take her out to her Grandpa Gary’s and she can see what farmlife is really all about. It can be wholesome yes, but it’s also a lot of work. And high heels? They aren’t recommended.

Susan Simpson

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