More great moments from Tisdale’s funeral
Wayman Tisdale’s funeral Thursday was the longest I’ve ever attended, three-plus hours, and it seemed like 30 minutes. Tisdale’s funeral also was the biggest I’ve ever attended, and I wish it had been bigger. I wish everyone could have attended.
We tried to adequately summarize the feelings and emotions that were in the BOK Center from about 10:30 a.m. until 2:30 p.m., but in today’s Oklahoman we had only about 11/2 pages.
So I thought I would give you some glimpses of what Tisdale’s many friends had to say about the man who died last week at the age of 44.
Thirty-year love affair
Tisdale and his wife, Regina, were high school sweethearts who first found each other at the age of 15. They married in 1987.
Tisdale’s Sacramento pastor, Sherwood C. Carthen, officiated at the memorial service and said Tisdale, “Enrolled in the University of Regina. Majored in Reginaism and family.
“There were days he got called to the dean’s office and was put on academic suspension. But, Tisdale would say, ‘I flashed those big pearly whites, played my music and once again I was on the honor roll.’”
Believe it: Tisdale’s musical talents for real
This nugget comes from comrade John Helsley.
In his home state, Tisdale is best known for basketball, whether at OU or the Olympics or the NBA. But he made quite a career – and a name – for himself in the music world, too.
“That man was an unbelievable musician,” said Dave Koz, a popular jazz sax man. “Do you know hard it is to make a sound that is immediately identifiable from the very first note? That’s near impossible to do on any instrument, let alone the bass.
“But that’s what he had. He had a singular unique sound the minute you heard it, ‘That’s him.’ And there was so much love that was put into the music, you couldn’t hear it and not fall in love with the guy.”
Marcus Miller, another renowned jazz man, said Tisdale had to earn his way to success – his way.
“In terms of music, Wayman was very interesting, because he came to the game very late,” Miller said. “And there’s a lot of bass players in the world. Wayman said to me, ‘I want to make my mark in music. What do you think I have to do?’
“I said, ‘You’ve got to get your personality to come through your instrument. If you can get your personality to come through that bass, you’re going to be a success.’ And that’s what he did.
“When you hear his music, you start grinning like he grinned. You can feel it.”
Hornets brought them closer
Hornets assistant coach Kenny Gattison said getting to spend two years based in Oklahoma City brought him closer to his old pal Tisdale. They would see each other and talk more than ever.
During that time is when Tisdale was diagnosed with cancer.
“You call him, you’re waiting for the day he’s sad,” Gattison said. “You call him, and he’s trying to cheer you up. It’s just remarkable.
“I wrote him a note. ‘You are the strongest man I’ve ever known in my life.’ One of the rarest spirits that’s graced the Earth.”
Comedic talent I
Walker said forget music and forget basketball. Tisdale’s true gift was comedy.
“You talk about a funny guy,” Walker said. He said Tisdale might don a wig or a gold tooth, just to cut everyone up.
This past season, Tisdale would call Walker, who was an assistant coach with the Hornets during their Oklahoma City years but is now on the Detroit Pistons staff.
“Gol’ dog, y’all are sorry,” Tisdale would cackle when he called Walker. “I watched you guys. You’re horrible.”
Walker would just shake his head at the abuse Tisdale was handing out over Detroit’s struggling season. “You’d get off the phone, you’re like, ‘Doesn’t this guy have cancer?’”
Comedic talent II
Rory Sparrow, now the NBA’s vice president for player development and a Sacramento Kings teammate of Tisdale in 1990-91, relayed a story from their season together.
Their wives were pregnant at the same time, and Tisdale indicated a desire to go furniture shopping. He told Sparrow he had arranged for a private tour of a notable furniture store, one of those layouts that have segmented rooms of furniture.
They turned a corner and found two people in a bed, “passionately loving each other,” said Sparrow, who was embarrassed and mortified. Then the people rose up and yelled, “Candid Camera.”
Tisdale was falling down laughing at his prank.
Tell me more, tell me more
I had one disappointment from the service. I didn’t learn as much about the home of the Rev. Louis and Deborah Tisdale, Wayman’s parents. To me, that’s the great untold story about Tisdale. How did his parents produce such a man?
Only two nuggets came through the service on that subject. Former Tulsa Washington coach Mike Mims, who coached Wayman, William and Weldon Tisdale, said, “Mrs. Tisdale, thank you, thank you for these boys. They mean everything to me. Always will. Always have. Forever.”
And Tulsa mayor Kathy Taylor talked of how Tisdale said “carrying on the Tisdale name was a high calling … handed down from his amazing father.”
A section of a Tulsa freeway is named after Wayman’s father.
Hey, he has hair
Here’s how big was Wayman Tisdale’s funeral. Toby Keith went without headgear.
Keith never appears without a cowboy hat or a toboggan, the latter of which he wears to OU basketball games. But Thursday, Keith played hatless and even wore a coat and tie.
I wasn’t crazy about “Angels Flying Too Close to the Ground” as a song for Tisdale. The title seems to fit, but the lyrics don’t.
Converting Billy
Gospel singer Fred Hammond got the crowd rocking with a series of inspirational tunes and said he knows people go to all kinds of churches, but this is the way he does church.
Then Billy Tubbs took the stage and said, “One thing I’ve already learned, I need to change churches.”
Signing autographs
I wrote about bass guitarist Marcus Miller’s theory on the wall, the invisible wall that celebrities build to keep a chunk of themselves away from the public, and how Tisdale didn’t have that wall. He had a light.
An unwritten rule on autographs is no signing during dinner. Fans should know not to ask, and celebrities should know to not sign if asked.
But Miller said he’s seen Tisdale sign during dinner. “I’ve seen Wayman sign autographs with a chicken wing in the other hand,” Miller said. “He’d always sign. He’d keep eating, but he’d sign.”
Music Men
Miller, the jazz guitarist, repeated the oft-stated theory that all musicians want to play a little ball and all ballplayers want to be musicians.
That’s why, Miller said, Tisdale was so impressive. He actually could excel at both. Miller said he was excited when he heard Tisdale wanted to meet him; Miller had a bunch of basketball questions for an NBA player.
Took him three months to get to the basketball questions. Tisdale was too busy asking music questions.
Former New York Knick John Starks spoke at the service and said, “I tried to pick up music, too. Wanted to play the saxophone. Didn’t succeed. I always had dreams of getting good and doing a set with Wayman.”
Fierce competitor
Everyone always talks about Tisdale’s wonderful demeanor, and you will find basketball critics who say Tisdale never worked enough on his game. But never mistake Tisdale for a man who didn’t compete on the hardwood.
“Behind that smile was a great competitor,” Tubbs said. “A guy who wanted to excel on everything he did.”
Charles Smith, who played nine years in the NBA and now is director of the league’s retired players association, said that some people think being a Christian makes you passive. But no so.
“Wayman competed in the heat of the moment at all times,” Smith said. Tisdale would swing his ample backside around, sit on the defender’s thigh and post up. “He’d hit you,” Smith said, “in the name of Jesus and with a smile.”
Front & back
Strangely enough, Sidney Green spent 10 years in the NBA, eight of those while Tisdale was in the league, but they are linked by events before and after.
Green was present for one of Tisdale’s first appearances on the grand stage and present for one of his last. Both in Las Vegas.
Green was a Nevada-Las Vegas forward and a senior when Tisdale made his collegiate debut in November 1982, against the Runnin’ Rebs. Then two weeks ago, Green was at Tisdale’s Las Vegas concert and even helped him on stage with his prosthetic leg.
“He put on an exhilarating performance in Las Vegas,” Green said. “It was a captivating performance.”
Tulsa inspiration
Starks, who grew up in Tulsa a year younger than Tisdale, said he remembers trying to get into Tulsa Washington’s hot-box gymnasium to catch a glimpse of Tisdale.
“Trying to watch an incredible player,” said Starks, who was not scheduled to speak but gave a four-minute reflection on Tisdale. “Wayman was a person I looked up and admired. He was the first athlete to really put Tulsa on the map. You need someone to follow and aspire to be.”
Double Dare
Charles Smith said he really got to know Tisdale during the 1992 All-Star Weekend. They appeared on “Double Dare,” a Nickelodeon network children’s show known for its wild antics of getting everyone wet and covered with green slime.
Before the show, they talked for 30 minutes, and Smith said Tisdale told of him of his passion for his family, how blessed he considered himself to be.
Then Tisdale put on the show’s uniform, but the pants were so tight they looked like spandex, and both players roared in laughter. The show producer frantically tried to find another outfit, but Tisdale said no problem.
“I came here to get as messy as I could,” Tisdale said. “I want to show my kids their dad can be silly on national television.”
Smith said Tisdale had the children in the audience in stitches the entire show.
“I never experienced interaction with a player like that before,” Smith said. “Wayman taught me something that day. How important it is to be a God-fearing man and give of yourself and how your family and children are the most important things in life.”
Jazz concert supreme
The funeral, in addition to many other things, was a world-class jazz concert. Tisdale’s band played for 30 minutes before the service, and musicians like Dave Koz and Marcus joined along at moments during the day.
“I was playing stuff, I don’t even know how it came out of my instrument,” Miller said of his bass guitar. “I didn’t even know what key I was in. I was just letting it go. I think most of the musicians were feeling the same way.”
Talkin’ Wayman
Here are some quotes we collected but never found a place to use, both from Thursday and from last week, when Tisdale died.
OU athletic director Joe Castiglione: “A larger than life Oklahoma original provided us with some of our greatest lessons.”
OU teammate Darryl Kennedy: “He was my man. I played with him pretty much all my life, going back to AAU. He was the reason I went to OU. I wanted to play with one of the greatest players to ever come out of Oklahoma. He was a great person. He was always positive. He never let the negative bring us down. He always smiled and kept us together. I’ll miss him. He was one of my brothers.”
Kansas coach Bill Self, who played against Tisdale in high school and college: “He changed the whole landscape for basketball in our state, from a fun standpoint and from a production standpoint. We were football state until Wayman came on the scene.”
Long-time NBA star Sam Perkins, who played with Tisdale on the 1984 Olympic team and was best man at Tisdale’s wedding: “I was thinking, ‘I can’t believe this has happened.’ I was trying to think of our age difference, and I’m like, ‘This man is 44.’ I don’t know what’s old anymore.”
Former Yankee outfielder Bernie Williams, another aspiring musician: “He was truly an inspiration to me, paving the way for an athlete like myself to pursue a passion for writing and performing music. I had the honor and privilege of having Wayman perform on the title track of my new album and was looking forward to collaborating with him again in the future.”
Former college basketball coach C.M. Newton, manager of the 1984 Olympic team: “He was an all-American player and an all-American person. He lit up the day for us, I remember, at so many practices. We practiced long and hard, and Wayman’s smile and whole demeanor made those so much easier.”
Berry Tramel can be heard Monday through Friday from 4:40-5:20 p.m. on The Sports Animal radio network, including AM-640 and FM-98.1. You can e-mail him here and follow him on Twitter @BerryTramel.
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Comments
I was 14 years old when he and Patrick Ewing came into the league, and I remember the 1984 Olympic team. I played basketball through junior high, high school and into my twenties. I loved the game, and the players that represented it. He was a true talent on the court, and a good guy off. As I got older, I aquired the same taste of music my father liked, Jazz, and Old School R & B. I have the ” Rebound” CD, and was a fan of his before all of this happend. He’ll go into the history books for generations to come, plus I’ll be 38 in July, and have a family of my own, and can appreciate what he did for his. My prayers are with the Tisdale family and friends. I feel some way, like I grew up with him, it’s kind of surreal.
I could never get enough of Wayman when he was alive and I want to hear even more about him now that his soul rests in Heaven. I had season tickets at OU before, during, and after Wayman, and I love OU basketball, but I really couldn’t care less about his basketball skills, his All-American team memberships, his Olympic Gold Medal, or his NBA career. What impressed me so much about Wayman was just what a great guy he was. He showed it could be cool to be a Christian who was funny and talented and loyal to his family and his school. People who hate OU loved Wayman which meant that not everything from OU was horrible. He made us proud to be Sooners and proud to be from Oklahoma and proud that he was such a great ROLE MODEL. Not a whole lot of role model types in the NBA or even college sports, but Wayman definitely was. I hope we get to keep on hearing stories about Wayman for years to come. I am so sad that he is gone. Great job on this story Berry!
GREAT STORY! Thanks Berry