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Remember the scene from “The Jerk,” where Steve Martin’s character gets giddy when the phone books are delivered. “The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!” That’s how I feel today. “The new football games are here! The new football games are here!”

This is a great day. Opening day, after a long, hot summer (OK, so only August was hot). Baseball fans, of which I used to be one, celebrate Opening Day with a rare revelry. But the first baseball games are not an oasis. They arrive the first of April; American sports fans don’t need juiced up on April 1, they need a breather after all the excitement of March Madness. Football provides an oasis. Outside of an occasional big golf tournament, the summer provides few sport thrills. Football is much-needed tonic.

And today ends the drought. A few decent games tonight, a full slate Saturday, two games Monday. Hey, why no Sunday games? Since the NFL gave up Labor Day weekend, colleges have spilled over onto Labor Day Sunday. But not this year.

Let’s take a look at the best games:

Tulsa at Louisiana-Monroe (tonight): All summer, I thought this was a TU walkover. Then I realized how competitive Charlie Weatherbie’s team was last season. Despite a 4-8 record, they played Kansas and Kentucky within two points. This will be a dogfight, but let’s go TU 24-20.

LSU at Mississippi State (tonight): Sylvester Croom eventually will have to start winning or start looking for a new job. This is Year No. 4, and while I wish the Bulldogs would give LSU a game, it’s not going to happen. LSU 35-9.

Utah at Oregon State (tonight): This game isn’t on television. Which is a bummer. It’s on Fox Sports Northwest. We get Fox Sports Southwest, which means Rangers-White Sox. Ridiculous. Two last-place teams in a meaningless game, when we could be watching Mike Riley’s two-quarterback system. Oregon State 28-14.

Washington at Syracuse (Friday): Tyrone Willingham, with help from Bob Simmons, is getting it done in Washington. Greg Robinson, hired away from Texas after the 2004 season, is not getting it done in Syracuse. This is a big game for the Orange. Syracuse 19-17.

Colorado State at Colorado: Hard to believe the Buffs could win only two games last season. But they better win this one. Arizona State, Florida State and Oklahoma still awaits CU before October. Colorado State 20-17.

Washington State at Wisconsin: Barry Alvarez is gone, but his building job in Madison remains remarkable. Some are picking Wisconsin to win the Big Ten. Wisconsin 24-8.

UCLA at Stanford: The Jim Harbaugh Era begins at Stanford, with a defeat. UCLA 29-12.

Nevada at Nebraska: The Wolf Pack is not half bad. But I think Nebraska is going to be pretty good. Huskers 38-13.

Georgia Tech at Notre Dame: Biggest game of the week. Charlie Weis is the kind of coach who can wear out his welcome when he doesn’t win big. A loss to Georgia Tech could send the Irish on their way to a disappointing season.  Notre Dame 21-18.

Wake Forest at Boston College: Jim Grobe is the best football coach in America. Wake Forest went to the Orange Bowl last season. Let me repeat. Wake Forest went to the Orange Bowl last season.  BC 31-28.

Ole Miss at Memphis: John Grisham should write this one up. If Mississippi loses, coach Ed Orgeron could need one of those lawyers Grisham is always writing about. Ole Miss 18-14.

Missouri at Illinois: I’ll believe Mizzou is the best team in the Big 12 North when I see Chase Daniel eating enchiladas on the San Antonio Riverwalk. Missouri 35-12.

Arizona at Brigham Young: Huge game for Mike Stoops. But he beat BYU last season and it still didn’t get his Arizonas to a bowl game. Tucson folks say Stoops isn’t in any trouble, but I’d still recommend a bowl game. BYU 23-14.

Baylor at TCU: When is Gary Patterson going to get another job? TCU 26-7.

Oklahoma State at Georgia: Sanford Stadium is not the lion’s den everyone thinks it is. Georgia’s three big rivals are Auburn, Florida and Georgia Tech. In the last 40 years, the Bulldogs have a better record on the road against those foes than they do at home. Makes no sense. Georgia 30-24.

Kansas State at Auburn: What a wonderful game for K-State. I’m the world’s biggest Bill Snyder fan, but this kind of game does more for KSU, win or lose, than three dozen automatic wins. Ron Prince was a smashing success in Year 1; if he wins again, watch out. K-State could retake North Division prominence. Auburn 26-10.

Tennessee at California: An OU official said the other day he doesn’t put much stock in revenge, but he might make an exception for this game. Tennessee embarrassed Cal last season, and the Golden Bears have to be sitting in ambush. Plus, Jeff Tedford is a heck of a coach. Cal 24-23.

Texas Tech at SMU (Monday):  It’s never boring watching Tech. But this might test that theory. Tech 28-11.

Florida State at Clemson (Monday): Doesn’t it seem like Florida State quarterback Drew Weatherford has been around forever? And hasn’t won a big game yet. The Bowden Bowl will hasten the departure of Clemson’s Tommy, with a loss; Papa Bowden seems safe despite Florida State’s seven-year slump. Clemson 20-15.

I talked to Vince Dooley, the grand old Georgia coach, on Tuesday for an upcoming story — he almost took the OU job in 1965 — and it was a treat. For one thing, Dooley’s accent is intoxicating. Many a red-blooded American has mentioned how sexy are the Dixie accents on the Southern belles that come our way, but no less charming are the country squires who speak a different brand of English. Dooley is from Alabama, but that’s right next door. Think about Frank Broyles, the greatest college football analyst ABC ever had. Broyles is a Georgian, and that classic Southern accent of his was a college football staple.

Dooley is a Georgia icon, having coached the Bulldogs to six SEC titles in 25 years and the 1980 national championship. Seems like every SEC school has an iconic coach. Bama has the Bear, of course. LSU has Charley McClendon, who coached there 18 years. Arkansas has Broyles, who coached 19 years in the Ozarks. Auburn has Shug Jordan, who coached there 25 years. Ole Miss has John Vaught, who coached there 25 years. Tennessee has Robert Neyland, the General who led the Vols for 27 years, and Johnny Majors, who coached Tennessee for 16 years. Plus Dooley. Think about. In 1970, virtually half the SEC was led by coaches who would be the biggest names in their school’s history — Bryant, Vaught, McClendon, Jordan and Dooley. And Tennessee was led by Bill Battle, who coached only seven years but won 72 percent of his games.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me love college football, and why I’m so fired up to go to Georgia this weekend. I’ve never been between the Hedges. Been to a women’s basketball tournament in Athens, the 1996 NCAA regional, but never a football game. I’ve been to Alabama and Tennessee, and both are spectacular environments. I’m anxious to see how Georgia compares.

My big assignment for our annual football preview was picking the top 100 players historically at both OU and OSU. Picking No. 1 at OU was easy and not really debated by much of anybody: Lee Roy Selmon. Picking No. 1 at OSU has caused a ruckus with an expert.

I picked Thurman Thomas No. 1, over Barry Sanders. Pat Jones, who coached the Cowboys during the Thomas/Sanders years, prefers Sanders, which by all means is legitimate, particularly since Jones is an avowed Thurman fan.

We let Jones look at our list before publication, so he could advise, and we followed almost every suggestion. We didn’t raise Hart Lee Dykes and Mike Gundy quite high enough to please Jones. Dykes ranked eighth and Gundy 21st. Jones wanted Dykes in the top five and Gundy in the top 15. But I think we got it right. Who should be dropped below Dykes? Terry Miller was 2-4 in the Heisman voting his final two years. Jon Kolb was a great, great player in an overlooked era (late ’60s). Mark Moore was a fabulous, head-hunting safety. Bob Fenimore? Just who should drop below Dykes? As for Gundy, he was an excellent quarterback but not a star. Only revisionist historians would claim that he was. Gundy was the solid engineer of an offense led by dynamic, epic athletes, notably Thomas and Sanders.

As for No. 1, I just couldn’t see picking Sanders over Thomas. It’s not a one-season derby. It’s a career achievement award. Thomas clearly had the better career. Thomas was a mainstay on four OSU teams that combined to win 34 games; Sanders contributed really to just two Cowboy teams. Thomas gained 1,000 more yards than did In 1987, when Thomas was a senior and Sanders was a sophomore, Jones’ coaching staff gave Thomas 167 MORE carries than Sanders. Isn’t that all you need to know? OSU coaches at the time thought Thomas was the better player; the next year, Sanders had the greatest season in college history, and over the next 10 years Sanders had one of the finest careers in NFL history. But Thomas’ clearly had the better career.

Jones was a big help, though. OSU’s top 100 list was much tougher than OU’s. The Sooners have had 141 All-Americans, so you didn’t have to scrounge to find names to go on the list. OSU hasn’t had 100 all-conference players. Jones was a big help in sorting out the players from his OSU days (1979-94), but he’s also an historian on some level, having talked to State people for almost 30 years now and hearing their stories.

Truth is, I probably messed up on only one player: Adrian Peterson. I put Peterson at No. 57, and that’s too low. Peterson probably deserved to be in the 30s. Peterson really had only one great year, but that one year was great, and the other two seasons, both injury-marred, weren’t too shabby. Peterson really is the only player I feel I missed on. I took my ballot from 2004, when Sooners Illustrated picked the top 100 Sooners of all time, and adjusted it. Peterson, of course, wasn’t on that 2004 ballot, and I just didn’t move him up high enough. 

In the Friday Oklahoman, I wrote about my dad, who died this week four days shy of his 79th birthday.  I didn’t do him justice. He was a far better man than I am a writer. But it helped me deal with the sorrow of losing the man who provided me with everything I needed to be where I am today. A good husband, good father, good grandfather, good worker.

Getting to share part of my dad’s story is a perk of the job. Not everyone gets the chance to do that, and I realize it’s no small thing. It’s a perk, but it’s tough, too. Writing about my dad on the sports page , I kept it mostly to sports. But there was so much more to him than just being a sports fan. Truth is, in the last few years, we didn’t talk all that much about sport. Usually it was old friends or family or places we had gone.

One of my colleagues emailed condolences, saying he couldn’t imagine not being able to go to his father for advice. That struck me, because I never went to my dad for advice. And I wondered why. I guess it was because he gave me such a solid foundation, maybe I figure I didn’t need advice. No reason to ask him what he would do; I know what he would do. The right thing.

I skipped the PGA week before last, because of dad’s situation. He was hospitalized on July 24 and stayed in ICU the next 27 days, leaving only for the last 12 hours of his life. Tiger Woods may not pass this way again, but I made the right call. Staying close to OU Medical Center was the right thing to do, because the likes of J.L. Tramel definitely will not pass this way again.

Sam Bradford is Oklahoma’s quarterback. For now.

Bob Stoops’ record is clear. When he has an all-American quarterback (2000, 2003, 2004), he doesn’t change QBs.
Which stands to reason. When Stoops has absolutely no legit backup (1999, 2006), he doesn’t change QBs. Otherwise, all bets are off.

Stoops pulled the trigger in 2001, when he switched from a sluggish and battered Nate Hybl to Jason White, and in 2005, when a loss to TCU prompted the switch from Paul Thompson to Rhett Bomar. And in 2002, another wrecked knee for White took all options away from Stoops.

So let’s be clear. When there’s any decision to be made, when Stoops has an option, he switches quarterbacks. At least has twice in two tries.

What does that mean for Bradford? It means he’d better play well. He doesn’t have to post Jason White numbers. He doesn’t have to display Josh Heupel leadership. But he has to avoid mistakes. He has to move the chains. He has to win games.

If not, Stoops will try to find someone who will. He’s proven that already.

I felt good about my profession Monday night. I felt good about my standing in my profession.

The Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame held its annual induction ceremony Monday night at the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum, and the 1956 Frederick Bombers were lauded as a team of legend. That’s the Frederick team I wrote about last February. Those Bombers were the first integrated state champion in Oklahoma history, and the story of how coach Dean Wild integrated the football team a full decade before the school integrated never really had been told.

It was Oklahoma’s “Remember the Titans,” except these guys meshed almost immediately. They mesh still.

Because of that story, lots of good things have happened to Frederick. Wild was given a diversity award in March, and then came the virtual reunion Monday night. Nineteen of the 29 surviving players off that team were there, and all seemed thrilled that their story has been celebrated. The sisters of the late Pete Clewis, who came over from the black school, Boyd High, to play on that ‘56 Frederick team,  were at the inductions; one lives in Arlington, Texas, and invited me to stay with her when the Super Bowl comes to town in a few years.

Sometimes the stories we tell don’t make an impact. But sometimes they do, and this one resonated with people. Pat Jones said on his radio show that anyone who thinks sports aren’t important should read that story. I would say the same thing about history. This story made a difference in some people’s lives. It brought back to life a very special time. It also gave us all reason to hope.

You can’t always tell a quarterback by his numbers.

I came away from the OU scrimmage Saturday still convinced that Sam Bradford would be the starter. I thought Bradford played reasonably well in the scrimmage; about as well as did Kid Nichol, and I’ve always thought Bradford started out ahead.

Then I got home, opened my email and saw the stats from the scrimmage. Bradford 12-of-17 passing for 130 yards and four touchdowns, though two came in red-zone situations in which the offense was given prime real estate. Nichol: 5-of-16 passing for 82 yards and a TD.

That’s a big, big difference. But you couldn’t tell without charting the scrimmage. Nichol looked off to start the scrimmage but seemed to come on. Bradford looked OK throughout the night but seemed to get a lot of help from his receivers, ala Paul Thompson in 2006.

Yet 12-of-17 is miles ahead of 5-of-16. You can’t always go by numbers. Sometimes, a hitter goes 0-for-4 but hits the ball a lot harder than a guy who gets two hits. Sometimes, a good shot rims out, while a bad shot clangs in off the backboard. Sometimes, a good drive can roll into the rough, while a wild drive can hit a tree and carom into the fairway. But there’s explanation for 12-of-17 compared to 5-of-16, other than Sam Bradford performed the best in the scrimmage and will start the Sooner season opener against North Texas.

We’re No. 3! We’re No. 3!

That’s my rally cry this morning, after radio cohort Rusty Olson and myself were ranked third in Oklahoma City’s crowded drive-time sports talk scene. Five afternoon drive-time shows air, so third is hugging the middle.

What’s most interesting is that another colleague, Mel Bracht, did the rankings. I’ve got no gripe with The Oklahoman media writer. We don’t pal around, but I get along fine with the dirty, no good dog. Just kidding. Just kidding. I didn’t even know the rankings were coming, or the story, which analyzed why the OKC market has four  all-sports stations and two more from northern Oklahoma that drift into the north metro.

That’s wild when you think about it. Four all-sports radio stations in a market void, temporarily, of major-league franchises. If that doesn’t scream out the importance of sports in Oklahoma, I don’t know what does.

A couple of other interesting things from the radio front. Mel ranked the five multi-host shows, but the other four don’t really change.  The only drive-time show that goes solo is mine, the Writer’s Block, from 5-7 p.m.  My long and illustrious radio career spans five years; I’ve been in the newspaper gig almost 29 years. Looking at the list of contenders, the only people who have been doing radio less is another colleague, Jenni Carlson, and Jack Mildren, who was busy banking and running for governor and changing college football history as a quarterback before embarking in radio. Don’t you think that’s interesting? The guy with virtually the least experience, and virtually the least talent, goes solo. I attribute that to the power of The Oklahoman. The No. 1 news agency in Oklahoma packs a punch.

Mel also said that, just like in my newspaper columns, on the radio I like to make controversial statements and stir things up. I plead not guilty. I don’t necessarily like to do such things. And I didn’t know that I did. Heck, on the radio, what’s controversial about advocating the Florida Marlins moving to Brooklyn? What’s controversial about Tuesday Night Football in the NFL? What’s controversial about requesting Adrian Peterson pay for the car he drives off the lot? Isn’t everyone in agreement with those things?

Truthfully, Mel’s report today did me some good. It made me remember what it’s like to be written about. Which is not always good. I wasn’t crazy about being ranked No. 3. Just as I’ll bet Joey Halzle hasn’t been crazy about being ranked No. 3 by me. That’s good medicine to remember. I won’t stop ranking people and teams, but I’ll try to remember that Joey Halzle just might be reading what I write about him. Joey Halzle’s mother, too. That’s a good lesson for the day. Thanks, Mel.

The war is on in Seattle.

It’s even moving to the media. One of Seattle’s sports-talk radio hosts, Mike Gastineau, has engaged me in emails the last 24 hours, trying to convince me that Clay Bennett is a liar. Here is a sampling:

“Trust me, Seattle gets the whole ’arena or we’ll leave thing.’ It’s just that in this case, it’s finally become obvious to people that these guys are liars. Their stated goals and actual goals don’t match up.  If his stance was  really ‘I want to do business in Seattle and I’m willing to listen to anyone and any idea,’ then he’d find some help up here. But that’s another example of him saying one thing while doing another. He refuses to discuss a renovation. He refuses to meet with the Muckleshoot Tribe. He refuses to consider local minority owners.

“He wants to move the team to OKC. It’s obvious. It’s natural. It makes sense. That was the plan from day one. All the rest is just needless BS including your theory that Seattle has somehow blown this. Seattle never had a chance.  Trust me on this one. If, in 30 years, seven guys from say, Omaha, buy the Oklahoma City SiloSonics and then start talking about how they REALLY don’t want to move the team to the town where they LIVE, WORK, and WERE BORN, then you’ll have a much better grasp of how people up here feel.”

Now, I don’t like getting into media horseplay on issues. I write what I write for the paper and I say what I say for the radio, and I don’t see why I need to debate an individual who obviously has a different viewpoint. But I always answer my email, and this guy was no different. Here was my response:

“Mike, your declaration is a self-fulfilling prophecy. ‘You guys don’t really want to be here, so we’re not going to do any real talking, and so when you leave, we’ll be right.’ That’s called shooting yourself in the foot.

“If it’s finally become obvious that these guys are liars, where were the arena ideas when it wasn’t so obvious? What’s become obvious is that no one in Seattle seems serious about trying to keep the Sonics.

“There is nothing to talk to the Muckleshoots about. They’re into gambling, they’re too far away (from downtown Seattle) and they’re an Indian tribe. No way does an NBA owner want to do business with an Indian tribe.

“Local minority owner? Why does he need minority owners? He doesn’t need new influential friends’ money? He needs new influential friends who can help him get an arena. If someone can help him get an arena, he wouldn’t sell him a portion of the franchise, he might sell the whole danged thing and be glad to make a profit.

“Yes, if Omaha guys buy an OKC team, it would seem likely they’d want to be in Omaha. The cities are fairly similar. But if Topeka guys bought an OKC team, it wouldn’t be a natural to move. They couldn’t make nearly as much money in Topeka as they could in OKC. Unless Topeka could give them what they want (and OKC wouldn’t).

You’ve oversimplified it. Clay Bennett is from out of town, therefore Clay Bennett doesn’t want to be here. Sports, past and present, are full of owners from out of town. Oklahoma City provides Bennett a nice little parachute if Seattle doesn’t build an arena. He gets to be the hero in his hometown. But he’d prefer to be the rich visitor in Seattle.”

The demonization of OU’s Longar Longar continues. The NCAA, in a self-admitted unprecedented move, granted an extra half year of eligibility to Texas Tech basketball center Esmir Rizvic, whose eye socket was fractured by a Longar elbow last January.

Rizvic gets the extra half year in the 2008-09 season. Longar is a senior this coming season, so even after Longar is gone from Soonerland, his legacy will stay in the news.

Longar was not so much as even called for a foul in the game at Lubbock, but Tech coach Bobby Knight campaigned for sanctions against Longar, and then-Big 12 commissioner Kevin Weiberg capitulated. The NCAA committee hearing Tech’s appeal has indicted Longar all over again.

Good for Rizvic, who was an innocent bystander on both Longar’s elbow and Knight’s politicking. Those who say the NCAA never thinks of athletes are wrong. The NCAA has a solid track record of looking out for athletes, and this is a good example. But it sure seems like a can of worms. What’s next? An extra half season for a linebacker who gets clipped and tears up a knee? An extra half season for a hitter who gets beaned?

This we know. The NCAA has assured Longar Longar of going through the rest of his career with a crimson E (for elbow) tattooed to his resume’.