Entertainment blogging from The Oklahoman's Brandy McDonnell

Live blog: 83rd Annual Academy Awards

7:30 p.m.: We’re opening with a clip montage from the 10 best picture nominees, to the tune of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ rendition of “Hall of the Mountain King,” from “The Social Network.” I’m betting that will absolutely prove a predictor of the best original score winner. Plus, it really works well for all 10 nominees, not just “The Social Network.” We actually have good use of montage to start the movie biz’s biggest night.

7:32: Co-hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco continue the good montage vibe by putting themselves into the best picture nominees, with an “Inception”-themed trip through Alec Baldwin’s dreams in the hopes of discovering Alec’s keys to successful Oscar hosting.

7:34: Morgan Freeman says “Alec likes me to narrate his dreams. He says I have a soothing voice.”

7:35: Anne performs the “Dance of the Brown Duck,” while James Franco frolics in a white unitard. Yikes. Funny, but yikes.

7:36: Alec and Morgan send Anne and James off to host the Oscars. And they’re going to get there in the “Back to the Future” DeLorean. OK, I was with them for awhile there, but they need to get on with it.

7:37: In the nick of time, James and Anne appear onstage. Anne already has changed clothes once, she’s now in a creamy white sleeveless gown with silver sparkles. She is a fashion goddess.

James: “Anne, I must say you look beautiful and hip.” Anne: “You look very appealing to a younger demographic as well.” Nice.

Anne ponders that “it used to be, you get naked, you get nominated. But not anymore,” in correcting James’ assertion that they both are Oscar nominated tonight.

James, who is nominated for “127 Hours,” wonders what he will get if he wins and if his mom will call him “Oscar winner James Franco.” James and Anne are pointing out their moms in the audience, and Anne’s tells her “Stand up straight dear, Mr. Steven Spielberg is here.”

James’ grandma is happy that she got to see “Marky Mark.” Nope, that’s Oscar-nominated producer Mark Wahlberg, James corrects. “It’s a great year for lesbians!” Anne proclaims. OK, can we please get on with it? These opening monologues always go on too long.

7:42: Oscar-winning film “Gone with the Wind” becomes the backdrop as we finally get to the first award of the night and see the ballyhooed “virtual reality” stage. Tom Hanks is there, but he’s not presenting an award. He’s giving us a history lesson about “Titanic.” This isn’t going to make the show shorter, guys.

7:44: Tom Hanks is finally going to present the art direction Oscar. Here are the nominees:

“Alice in Wonderland,” “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1,” “Inception,” “The King’s Speech,” “True Grit.”

7:45: Finally, the first Oscar goes to: “Alice in Wonderland” and Robert Stromberg and Karen O’Hara. Robert puts a funky hat on his Oscar and tells director Tim Burton to “meet me with a saw because half of this is yours.” If funky hats and Johnny Dance doing silly jigs made a good movie, Burton’s “Alice” would win best picture.  Alas, it was Technicolor boredom in decidedly unimpressive 3D.

7:46: Tom is also going to present the cinematography Oscar, and I’m rooting for “True Grit” and Roger Deakins. That film is gorgeous. Here are the potentials:

“Black Swan,” “Inception,” “The King’s Speech,” “The Social Network,” “True Grit.”

7:48: Winner: Wally Pfister for “Inception.” He takes a deep breath to enjoy the moment and then sees the ticking clock. “None of this would have been possible without the vision of my master, Christopher Nolan.” That got huge applause, which makes me think I’m not the only one disappointed that Nolan was left out of the best director hunt.

7:51: James and Anne are back and they’re quickly turning the stage over to “a living legend” Kirk Douglas. He’s getting a well-deserved standing ovation from the crowd as he slowly walks to the microphone with the help of a cane. Kirk says that James looks much better out of the cave and then does a double-take and says Anne is gorgeous. “Where were you when I was making pictures?” Kirk asks. Anne is blowing kisses and fanning herself. Kirk is going to present best supporting actress, and I’m rooting for former Tulsan Melissa Leo. Here are the noms, and we’re getting to see a quick clip of each one’s performance:

Amy Adams, “The Fighter”; Helena Bonham Carter, “The King’s Speech”; Melissa Leo, “The Fighter”; Hailee Steinfeld, “True Grit”; Jacki Weaver, “Animal Kingdom.”

7:55: Kirk says, “Here’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for and Hugh Jackman is laughing. Why does everyone in Australia think I’m funny?” Kirk, who is 94, is a bit hard to understand with his post-stroke slur, but he still has a great sense of humor. And he’s torturing these five poor women by making them wait, but they are laughing their heads off. Finally, he is giving the Oscar to … Melissa Leo! She looks totally stunned at the news! Woot!

7:57: Melissa takes Kirk’s hand and courtesies low to him. Kirk holds the Oscar out to her, and says it’s heavy. She asks him to pinch her. “Mine?” she says. Kirk quips, “You’re much better looking than you were in ‘The Fighter.’” “You’re looking pretty good yourself. What are you doing later?” Melissa responds. She says even though people have been saying nice things about her: “Yeah, I am kind of speechless,” she says looking up in the cheap seats. “Golly gee, there’s people up there, too. When I watched Kate do it two years ago, it looked so (expletive) easy.” And she gets the first beep-out of the night, and she covers her mouth and looks chagrined. She is emotionally thanking everyone involved with the movie, the Ward family, her family, the industry, etc. It was long but heartfelt and kudos to the producers for not sounding the “go away” music.

8:01: As Melissa hobbles off sharing Kirk’s cane, James says “F-ing congratulations, Melissa.” Anne adds, “It’s the young and hip Oscars.”

8:02: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis take the stage and Timberlake has a confession: “I’m Banksy. It felt so good to get that off my chest.” It’s a shame we won’t be seeing the famed graffiti artist tonight. Justin says they can’t present the best animated short film award until he uses “there’s an app” for that and his smartphone to give the stage a “Shrek” backdrop. “Shrek” was the first animated feature to receive the Oscar 10 years ago in that category.

Really, “there’s an app for that”? Sigh. Anyway, here are the animated short hopefuls:

“Day and Night,” “The Gruffalo,” “Let’s Pollute,” “The Lost Thing,” “Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Journey Diary).”

8:05: Winner: “The Lost Thing.” Before he gives it, Justin says “You know,” and pretends to drag it out, then says, “Never mind.” Kirk has created the running gag of the night. (By the way, my 4-year-old and I are disappointed that “Day and Night” didn’t win.)

Justin and Mila also are going to present the best animated feature award, and I’m thinking “Toy Story 3″ is a lock. Here are the noms:

“How to Train Your Dragon,” “The Illusionist,” “Toy Story 3.”

8:06: Winner: Yep, “Toy Story 3.” Director Lee Unkrich says “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but thank you to the Academy.” He’s praising Pixar as the best place in the world to make movies – it certainly owns this category – and thanking his grandmother for saying she’d always see him up there. He’s also “thanking audiences all over the world for coming out in record numbers to see a movie about talking toys that hopefully had something very human to say.” Nice of Hollywood to remember the fans.

8:12: Anne is taking us back to 1929 to talk about the first Academy Awards and showing film clips on the virtual stage. Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem take the stage together in their matching white-on-white tuxedos to present the screenplay winners, which were among the awards given at the first Oscars. They’re giving adapted screenplay first. Aaron Sorkin is practically a shoo-in, but here are the possibilities:

Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, “127 Hours”; Aaron Sorkin, “The Social Network”; Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich, “Toy Story 3”; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “True Grit”; Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini, “Winter’s Bone.”

8:14: Winner: Aaron Sorkin wins with his first Oscar nomination, and he is sharing the award with Ben Mezrich, who wrote “The Accidental Billionaires,” the book “The Social Network” is based on. Aaron is thanking everyone he wants to and ignoring those go-away strings. Go him. “This movie is going to be a source of pride for me every day of the rest of my life.” He tells daughter Roxy Sorkin that he just won the Oscar so he’s “gonna have to insist on some respect from your guinea pig.” Love the randomness there.

8:17: Now, it’s time for the best original screenplay Oscar, and I’m rooting for “Inception.”

Mike Leigh, “Another Year”; Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy and Eric Johnson and Keith Dorrington, “The Fighter”; Christopher Nolan, “Inception”; Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, “The Kids Are All Right”; David Seidler, “The King’s Speech.”

8:18: Winner: “The King’s Speech” gets its first win. It won’t be the last. Seidler finally finds the mic and says “the writer’s speech, how terrifying.” He comments his dad always told him he’d be a late bloomer and he thinks he’s the oldest person to win this award, “a record I’m hoping is broken soon and often.” He’s thanking the Queen for not putting him in the Tower of London for using the “Melissa Leo f-word” and dedicating the award to all the stutterers in the world like him who now have a voice thanks to the Academy.

8:23: Anne has changed clothes again, and she’s wearing a very feminine tux with sparkly high heels and her hair in a bouncy ponytail. She notes that there’s a long tradition of singing at the Oscars and she was going to do a duet but someone bailed on her. She’s not naming names, but she’s singing “On My Own” from “Les Misérables” and saying she’s “On my own because someone is a Hugh Jack-ass.” She’s playfully bashing him in song while Hugh smilingly puts his face in his hands.

8:26: James takes the stage in a hot-pink gown and blond wig in Marilyn Monroe-style drag. He says “The weird thing is I just got a text from Charlie Sheen.”(He may be an easy target, but if someone deserves a bullseye painted on him, it’s Mr. “I’m on a drug and it’s called Charlie Sheen.”)

Anne and James are kicking it over to Helen Mirren and Russell Brand. The dame is speaking in French and the Johnny Depp impersonator is playfully translating it as “My performance as a queen was much more convincing as Colin Firth’s as a king.” They’re going to present the best foreign language film, and I’m rooting for “Biutiful.”

“Biutiful,” Mexico; “Dogtooth,” Greece; “In a Better World,” Denmark; “Incendies,” Canada; “Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi),” Algeria.

8:28: Winner: “In a Better World.” Director Susanne Bier looks lovely in a vivid blue gown, and she’s emotionally thanking all involved with the film and her fellow nominees for their moving films.

8:29: Past best supporting actress winner Reese Witherspoon takes the stage to present the best supporting actor award. Get ready for a Christian Bale speech, but here are the noms:

Christian Bale, “The Fighter”; John Hawkes, “Winter’s Bone”; Jeremy Renner, “The Town”; Mark Ruffalo, “The Kids Are All Right”; Geoffrey Rush, “The King’s Speech.”

8:32: Winner: Christian Bale gets the KO for “The Fighter.” “Bloody hell, wow, what a room full of talented, inspirational people, and what the hell am I doing here with you?” He’s passionately thanking director David O. Russell for making the actors’ work mean something. He’s praising Melissa – “I’m not gonna drop the f-bomb like she did, I’ve done that plenty already” – and his fellow actors. And he’s getting the real Dicky Ekland to stand up and referring us to Dicky’s website. He’s getting teared up as he finally thanks his wife and daughter.

8:39: Anne is wearing a lovely dark gray gown with a silvery, feathery design all over it. She’s says that she and Hugh Jackman made up backstage “so he’s once again the Wolve to my Rine.” Aussies Hugh and Nicole Kidman are giving us a history lesson about sound in the movies, with more clips being projected on the backdrop. Cue an orchestra playing memorable clips of scores from famous movies, with naturally, many of them coming from John Williams’ oeuvre. Now, the orchestra is playing tidbits of the best original score contenders. There are some great pieces here, but I’m betting we get to see the Oscar go to Nine Inch Nails:

“How to Train Your Dragon,” John Powell; “Inception,” Hans Zimmer; “The King’s Speech,” Alexandre Desplat; “127 Hours,” A.R. Rahman; “The Social Network,” Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

8:43: The Oscar goes to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for “The Social Network.” It’s their first nomination and win. Trent looks rather handsome in a tux and he asks “Wow, is this really happening?” He says he and Atticus were just happy to be involved in the project and to be in this company is “humbling and flattering beyond words.” I can’t wait to hear what these two come up with for Fincher’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

8:45: “I am 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon away from these next two presenters”: Scarlett Johansson and Matthew McConaughey are going to present the best sound mixing Oscar:

“Inception,” “The King’s Speech,” “Salt,” “The Social Network,” “True Grit.”

8:47: Winner: “Inception,” Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick. As feared, “Inception” is going to get lots of technical awards but won’t be honored at all for its artistic prowess. Tis a shame.

8:48: And now here comes the sound editing award:

“Inception,” “Toy Story 3,” “Tron: Legacy,” “True Grit,” “Unstoppable.”

8:49: The Oscar goes to “Inception’s” Richard King. Again, I’m glad to see the movie getting the wins, but I wish it also could have been given credit for the storytelling, acting, etc. Richard says he owes it “1,000 percent to Chris Nolan.”

8:53: James has changed into a dark gray suit that matches Anne’s gown. They look quite fetching as they introduce past Oscar winner Marisa Tomei in her gorgeous vintage navy gown. She was the hostess for the Academy’s Scientific and Technical Awards, and she’s showing a clip of that soiree. “All right, congratulations nerds,” says James.

8:55: James introduces the only actress to successfully play Queen Elizabeth I, Bob Dylan and Katharine Hepburn, so here comes Cate Blanchett in her strange lavender alien-with-acne gown. She’s presenting the best makeup award:

“Barney’s Version,” “The Way Back,” “The Wolfman.”

8:56: Winner: “The Wolfman,” which is Rick Baker’s seventh Oscar win out of 12 nominations. Dave Elsey also shares the Oscar with him. Cate said, “That’s gross” when she saw “The Wolfman” clip, which I guess is a strong endorsement. Dave says it was always his ambition to lose an Oscar to Rick Baker, but “this is better.”

8:58: Now, Cate presents best costume design:

“Alice in Wonderland,” “I Am Love,” “The King’s Speech,” “The Tempest,” “True Grit.”

8:59: Winner: “Alice in Wonderland.” Colleen Atwood wins her third Oscar, after “Chicago” and “Memoirs of a Geisha.” She looks great in her black gown with her long purple gloves, but reading from the 4-by-6 card is really distracting. Still, I must say she deserves the Oscar, but I’m surprised that it didn’t go to “The King’s Speech.”

9:01: Now we’re getting video with a kind of man-on-the-street series of interviews about people’s favorite cinematic songs, ending with President Obama saying “As Time Goes By”  from “Casablanca”is his fave movie song. Kevin Spacey is singing his favorite film song, “Cheek to Cheek” from “Top Hat,” before introducing the first original song performance: Randy Newman, who has his 20th Oscar nod for “We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3.” He’s playing piano and singing while clips from the movie run on the round big screen behind him, and honestly, he sounds just like he does in the movie. Definitely no Auto Tune for Randy.

9:05: Now, it’s time for Alan Menken on piano, with “Chuck” actor Zachary Levin, handsome in a suit with red tie and no jacket, and singer/actress Mandy Moore in a flowing blue gown, singing a clip from “I See the Light,” from the Disney animated film “Tangled.” You know, I was glad to hear they were bringing back the original song performances – and these have been great – but I would have preferred they do the whole songs and spread them out throughout the show. Instead, we’re getting shortened versions of the first two and then a commercial.

9:11: “She’s nominated again tonight, and he made out with my co-host – in a movie,” James quips as Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal take the stage to present the short film Oscars, not only because many great filmmakers (George Lucas is used as an example) get their starts that way, but also because it can help you win the Oscar pool in your social circle. Jake looks very ill at ease but he’s going to help give the documentary short Oscar anyway:

“Killing in the Name,” “Poster Girl,” “Strangers No More,” “Sun Come Up,” “The Warriors of Qiugang.”

9:13: Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon win for “Strangers No More,” and Karen is thanking all the immigrant children involved in the school that is the subject of the film. Here is the short doc’s summary:

In the heart of Tel Aviv, there is an exceptional school where children from 48 different countries and diverse backgrounds come together to learn. Many of the students arrive at Bialik-Rogozin School fleeing poverty, political adversity and even genocide. Here, no child is a stranger. The film follows several students’ struggle to acclimate to life in a new land while slowly opening up to share their stories of hardship and tragedy.

9:15: Now, it’s the live-action short film. Here are the noms:

“The Confession,” “The Crush,” “God of Love,” “Na Wewe,” “Wish 143.”

9:16: “God of Love.” Filmmaker Luke Matheny, who sports one heck of a ‘fro, jokes, “Wow, I should have gotten a haircut,” and then goes on to rapidly thank everyone, including his mother, “who did craft services on the film,” and his composer and love of his life, Sasha Gordon, because “you make my dream come true.” He gets an adoring awww from the crowd.

9:18: James says it was a big year for movie musicals and when Anne tries to contradict him, we get a series of Auto-Tune dialogue remixes for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1,” “Twilight: Eclipse,” and “Toy Story 3.” Hip-hop horrendous. I think I would rather have a “salute to horror films we would never actually let be nominated” clip montage than that rubbish. And someone tell Franco that he’s not on the set of the “Pineapple Express” sequel.

9:19: “There are many great things about this job, and one of them is getting to wear a dress that does this,” Anne says, shaking it so the long silvery fringe on her gown sways crazily. “Sorry, personal moment. The other thing is getting to breathe the same air as this presenter: Oprah Winfrey.” Big applause for Oprah, who is going to present the best documentary award. Maybe Oprah’s Banksy. That would be the awesomeness!

“Exit through the Gift Shop,” “Gasland,” “Inside Job,” “Restrepo,” “Waste Land.”

9:21: Winner: “Inside Job.” I thought this was a great doc, and I predicted the win for Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs. I thought some of the Academy’s older members wouldn’t be won over by “Gift Shop” because they couldn’t be sure whether it was really a documentary.

Charles points out that three years after the financial meltdown that his film chronicles, not one corporate exec has gone to jail. Shocking, isn’t it? Maybe not shocking. Maybe just horrific.

9:26: Anne introduces one of the greatest Oscar hosts of all time – “whom I have even more respect for now” – Billy Crystal, who gets a standing O from the crowd. “So, where was I?” Billy jokes. “Some things never change. The producers tell me we’re running a bit long, so here are the nominees for best picture.”

He’s telling us a bit about the first televised Oscars in 1953, when they were hosted by Bob Hope. Hope hosted it 18 times. Billy says, “I hosted it eight times, I was pooped after two.” And he’s sharing his Bob Hope moment: As Billy was hosting the Oscars one year, he says that Hope flipped him off from the audience as soon as the cameras cut away. Now, we’re getting a few scenes from the late Bob Hope in Oscar-hosting mode on the big screens.

9:31: The late Bob Hope just virtually introduced Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. to present the effects Oscars. The “Sherlock Holmes” co-stars are showing doing their shtick and showing off their great chemistry and sense of humor that makes us all love them before giving out the visual effects award. They win the Oscar for most entertaining part of this show, or maybe it’s a tie between them and Kirk Douglas. And now for the visual effects noms:

“Alice in Wonderland,” “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1,” “Hereafter,” “Inception,” “Iron Man 2.”

9:33: Winner: “Inception,” Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb and Paul J. Franklin. And congratulations to “Inception” for again proving that the Academy can’t handle sci-fi no matter how imaginative or well-written.

9:34: Now, here are the noms for best film editing:

“Black Swan,” “The Fighter,” “The King’s Speech,” “127 Hours,” “The Social Network.”

9:36: Winner: “The Social Network,” Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall, and they start with a hug. Angus tells his daughter to find something that she really loves to do but notes “the hard part is finding a Fincher.” No joke.

9:41: Anne looks absolutely stunning in that gorgeous red gown, but she’s playing straight man to James Franco. He’s commenting that he’s disgusted by some of the movie titles this year, like “Winter’s Bone,” “Rabbit Hole” and “How to Train Your Dragon.” “I’m so glad you’re the arbiter of good taste on this show,” jokes Anne.

9:42: Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, in her stunning tangerine gown, introduces Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine and A.R. Rahman to perform “If I Rise,” best original song nominee from “127 Hours.” Florence, who looks terrific in her own tangerine-hued dress, is filling in for co-writer/singer Dido, who couldn’t be on the show tonight. Again, I wish we could hear more of these great songs.

9:44: Jennifer introduces fellow Oscar winner and “country music’s newest star,” Gwyneth Paltrow, who is singing “Coming Home” from her drama “Country Strong.” I definitely think we’ll be hearing from Gwyneth in the country genre again.

9:45: Now, Jennifer is going to present the best original song award. Again, here are the noms:

“Coming Home” from “Country Strong,” Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey; “I See the Light” from “Tangled,” Alan Menken and Glenn Slater; “If I Rise” from “127 Hours,” A.R. Rahman, Dido and Rollo Armstrong; “We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3,” Randy Newman.

9:46: Winner: Randy Newman and Pixar prove a winning combo again. Randy is on his 20th nomination, and this is his second win. The last time he won was for “If I Didn’t Have You” from Pixar’s “Monsters Inc.” Randy jokes that the Oscar lunch has a “Randy Newman chicken by now.” Randy is just throwing out jokes and thank yous simultaneously and he’s got the crowd laughing at his audacity. Gotta love him. He’s right, though, the percentages indicate he’d have never gotten one of those golden statuettes if he hadn’t done six movies with Pixar.

9:52: Celine Dion is singing “Smile” as the annual in memoriam montage runs honors Pete Postlethwaite, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Culp, Lynn Redgrave, Peter Yates, Susannah York, Irvin Kershner, Dennis Hopper, Tulsa native Blake Edwards and many of the others in Hollywood who died in the past year. Wonder who they left out that people will be freaking out over this year.

9:55: Oscar winner Halle Berry is paying special tribute to the late Lena Horne, the first black woman to sign a contract with a major studio like MGM. Bonus: We get a clip of Horne crooning her signature song, “Stormy Weather.” Man, what a voice.

10:01: Another striking dress for Anne, who looks incredible in a glossy column of rich blue fabric. She’s passing the torch to two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank, who in turn is passing it to last year’s history-making best director winner Kathryn Bigelow. Bigelow will be presenting the award, and this year it’s going back to the guys. Go Fincher!

Darren Aronofsky, “Black Swan”; David O. Russell, “The Fighter”; Tom Hooper, “The King’s Speech”; David Fincher, “The Social Network”; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “True Grit.”

10:03: Winner: Tom Hooper for “The King’s Speech,” who is lavishing thanks on his fellow nominees along with the actors from his film. He’s acknowledging “the triangle of man-love,” formed by him Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and himself. He’s thanking his mom and dad. He says that he has to thank his mom because she went to play reading for a then-unproduced script called “The King’s Speech.” She called up her son and told him she’d found his next film. “The moral of the story is listen to your mum.”

So, Hooper gives a great, touching speech, but I’m very disappointed that Fincher didn’t win for “The Social Network.” That film was incredible, and Fincher’s direction really made it. Plus, Fincher deserves it for all his previous films like “Fight Club” and “Benjamin Button” that went unheralded. Nothing against Hooper or “The King’s Speech,” but that should have been Fincher’s Oscar.

10:06: Annette Bening is introducing the clip montage from the Governor’s Awards, where actor Eli Wallach, film historian and preservationist Kevin Brownlow and “The Godfather” director-producer Francis Ford Coppola were honored. Now, the men themselves are taking the Oscars stage to an extended standing O. Except for fellow honorary Oscar winner director Jean-Luc Godard, who skipped the whole bit. Can’t blame him if this is all they get.

10:11: James and Anne once again match, with him donning a blue coat and tie to go with that fabulous dress. They’re giving the stage to Jeff Bridges, last year’s best actor winner. According to Oscar tradition, he’s going to present the best actress prize. He’s doing it with lots of warmth and charm to go with the usual clips. Here are the nominees:

Annette Bening, “The Kids Are All Right”; Nicole Kidman, “Rabbit Hole”; Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter’s Bone”; Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”; Michelle Williams, “Blue Valentine.”

10:15: Winner: Natalie Portman, as expected, dances away with the best actress prize. She looks lovely in that plum dress gracefully draping her baby bump, and she gives one of the nicest props I’ve ever heard to her competition: “I truly wish the prize tonight was to get to work with my fellow nominees; I’m so in awe of all of you.”

She is thanking all the usuals, plus Luc Besson, who cast her in her first movie at age 11; Mike Nichols, who directed her in “Closer”; and Darren Aronofsky of “Black Swan.” She’s taking time to thank the unsung heroes like hair and makeup artists and camera operators. She’s also sweetly thanking fiance Benjamin Millepied, who co-starred in and choreographed “Black Swan,” for giving her the most important role yet, presumably as mother to their unborn child.

10:20: Anne jokingly urges us all to take a drink at home as she flubs her intro of last year’s best actress winner Sandra Bullock, who looks radiant in her bright red gown. Sandy is playfully teasing all the best actor nominees as she presents their clips. It’s going to Firth, but here are the possibilities:

Javier Bardem, “Biutiful”; Jeff Bridges, “True Grit”; Jesse Eisenberg, “The Social Network”; Colin Firth, “The King’s Speech”; James Franco, “127 Hours.”

10:25: Winner: Colin Firth, who wins his first Oscar after back-to-back years going head-to-head with Bridges. “I have a feeling my career’s just peaked,” Firth jokes. “I’m afraid I have to warn you I’m experiencing stirrings … that are threatening to form themselves into dance moves, joyous as though they are, they may be problematic if they get to my legs before I leave the stage.” He’s thanking his fellow actors and Hooper, and he has especially effusive thanks for Seidler, who used his own struggles with stuttering to inform the screenplay.

Firth also thanks his wife for putting up with his brief delusions of royalty and then excuses himself to take care of his urge to dance.

10:31: James Franco and Anne Hathaway (in a purple sparkly gown) quickly and enthusiastically pitch it to Steven Spielberg, who will present best picture. The moment of truth: “The King’s Speech” or “The Social Network”? Is there a hint here as Colin Firth’s climatic message from “The King’s Speech” provides the score for the clip montage for all 10 competitors? Here are the possibilities:

“Black Swan,” “The Fighter,” “Inception,” “The Kids Are All Right,” “The King’s Speech,” “127 Hours,” “The Social Network,” “Toy Story 3,” “True Grit,” “Winter’s Bone.”

10:35: The Oscar goes to … “The King’s Speech.”

I’m not surprised, nor am I knocking “The King’s Speech,” but I am disappointed that “The Social Network” was shut out of the top award and best director. I really hoped that “The Social Network” and “The King’s Speech” would at least split those riches.

The producers are thanking all the usual suspects as the final music plays and we go back over to James and Anne. James doesn’t seem to know who just won, but Anne helps him out. They pitch it over to PS 22 Chorus of Staten Island, N.Y., who will again pay tribute to Oscar’s rich cinematic history with a heartwarming rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

Basically, it seems to me that the Academy tried to have it both ways this year: Get James Franco and Anne Hathaway to yuk it up to appeal to the younger demographic, but then bog down every award presentation with a history lesson and flashback clips. And then cap it off by going “Over the Rainbow.” Somebody needed to pick a direction for this show, because it’s split personality was a bit wearing.

And now all the night’s winners and the co-hosts take the stage. Look at Melissa Leo singing along and hoisting her long-awaited trophy; that may be my favorite moment of the super-cheesy ending. As Anne and James shout their good-nights and exchange high-fives, the Kodak Theatre crowd rises to its feet and the last of the feeling in mine goes away completely.

Well, that’s the Oscars for another year. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow – I plan to do the same, once I get past the pins and needles and remember how to walk again.

Thanks for joining me!

-BAM

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Live blog: 2011 Oscars red carpet

5:58 p.m.: The Oscars red carpet is due to begin broadcasting in two minutes, but right now, I’m just seeing KOCO-5 chief meteorologist Rick Mitchell showing the radar of the only thunderstorm in the state in far northern Oklahoma. Rick says they are mindful of the Oscars airing tonight and will keep us ahead of the storm but let us enjoy programming, too. Let’s hope we don’t get too many interruptions – and that the weather behaves itself not just in Oklahoma but in our northern neighbor, Kansas.

6: “Good Morning America” host Robin Roberts is wearing of lovely pale pink gown but touting some of the historic moments: the first-ever 90-minute red carpet and the first red-carpet interview with the Oscar hosts. Um, yay. (Sarcasm there.) Right now, we’re just getting introduced to the hosts and seeing behind-the-scenes shots. Let’s get on with it! I’m hoping this isn’t setting the pace for the night.

6:03: The first red-carpet interview is with Oscar-snubbed “Black Swan” actress Mila Kunis, who looks stunning in a lavender gown with a plunging neckline. Tim Gunn asks the first hard-hitting question of the night: Which is harder, walking the red carpet in high heels or dancing ballet in toe shoes? Sheesh.

6:05: Best supporting actress nominee Hailee Steinfeld, 14, is looking incredibly glamorous in her pale and sparkling gown with her dark hair in a formal updo. She is talking about how much her life has changed in the past year. I really hope we see much more from her. She’s an incredible actress. (For the record, this is my first rant of the night about Hailee being nominated in the supporting actress category when her film-carrying turn in the Coen brothers’ “True Grit” clearly belongs in the best actress category. It’s just the games the studios and Academy play.)

6:06: Best actor contender Jesse Eisenberg says “This is like the Super Bowl, but I don’t play football, so this is the closest I’ll ever get.” He’s looking very much the cool cat in his classic black suit, white shirt and black tie. He tells Robin he really doesn’t have a TV, but “I love watching you in person.” Yes, a cool cat indeed.

6:12: Wow, after all the pale gowns, best supporting actress Amy Adams looks stunning in her sparkling deep purple gown. It really looks great with her blue eyes and red hair, and the dramatic Cartier jewels are gorgeous. But I hate the old-lady neckline. I think that dress goes up to her chin.

6:13: Another wow, Jennifer Lawrence – best actress nominee for “Winter’s Bone” – looks absolutely stunning in her long, unadorned red gown with the just-right scooped neckline. She definitely looks ready to play Mystique in “X-Men: First Class.” She says she’s excited to see Jeff Bridges, whom she quotes all the time, and she claims she’s just there “to have and lose.”

6:15: Kevin Spacey is rooting for his “American Beauty” co-star Annette Bening to win best actress. It’s her fourth Oscar nomination, but I’m betting Natalie Portman wins it.

6:16: Russell Brand in wearing all navy and a new darker ‘do, which makes him look like a Johnny Depp impersonator. His date is his mom, since his sweetie Katy Perry is on tour. Russell will be presenting at the Oscars tonight, and he’s giving a frightening explanation of his upcoming “Arthur” remake. I didn’t want to see that movie before, and now I’m really dreading it. Dudley Moore he ain’t.

6:17: Former Tulsan Melissa Leo looks positively regal in her white and gold floral patterned dress with the high collar and deep V neckline. Tim Gunn is asking her a Facebook-submitted question: She plays a lot of complicated characters, does she ever turn down easier roles? She thinks maybe she just complicates the roles. I loved Melissa in “Frozen River,” for which she earned her first Oscar nod, and in “The Fighter.” So I’m really rooting for her. The question is will her online and trade publication campaign on her own behalf work for or against her.

6:20: We’re getting a preview of the P.S. 22 Chorus, an elementary school chorus from Staten Island, N.Y., who will make a joyous musical appearance at tonight’s Oscars singing “Over the Rainbow.” These talented kids have become deserving YouTube sensations with some very high-profile fans. I’m so glad to see the Academy is bringing music back to the Oscars; we’re going to get full performances of the best original song noms, too.

6:27: Tim Gunn is lavishing praise on presenter and past Oscar winner Cate Blanchett, who looks like she’s wearing a pimply alien skin for a dress. Tim calls her a risk-taker and praises the gown as gorgeous. It’s a pale lavender gown with a pleated long skirt and all kinds of round purple and yellow ornamentation on the shoulders and around the waist. It is a very weird and not very pleasant looking gown. I’m not an expert like Tim Gunn but I’m just not a fan. Of the gown. I think Cate is great.

6:30: Mark Ruffalo looks very classic in his tux, and his wife, Sunrise, also appears very elegant. Mark is nominated for best supporting actor, and he credits his spouse for getting him to take the part in “The Kids Are All Right.”

6:32: Past winner Marisa Tomei always looks great, and her flowing dark blue gown is “staggering,” as Tim puts it. Mr. Gunn and I are in agreement on her vintage gown. She says she was stunned but very flattered to hear that Lady Gaga said she would like Marisa to play her if there was a movie made about her life. I’m not sure that I can see it, but Gaga knows how to pick a great actresses.

6:37: I think we’re seeing a trend color: purple. Scarlett Johansson is dressed in a sleeveless vibrant violet gown done in flowery lace. Love the dress and makeup, but didn’t much care for the tousled bedhead ‘do.

6:41: Matthew McConaughey is wearing a great-looking tux, but even with the classy threads, the man still can’t be troubled to shave. I love men with facial hair but I’m not a fan of scruffy stubble with elegant outfit.

6:42: Annette Bening is all sparkles tonight, with a dark-colored column with a spiderweb of silvery accents. I loved her terrific ear dangles. Warren Beatty says he’s in awe of her because she’s not just an amazing actress, she’s an equally amazing wife and mother. Aw.

6:43: Anne Hathaway is wearing Valentino and is walking the red carpet with Valentino. Love, love, love her sleeveless siren-red gown with the flowery gathers in the skirt. Her hair is lovely and soft, and she is wearing a mint worth of jewels. She looks like a winner to me, I think red is another trendy color here tonight. I adore all the jewel tones.

6:48: Tim Gunn is back “making Oscar history” by interviewing host Anne Hathaway before the show. She is the youngest host ever and one of the few female hosts. She said she took Shirley MacLaine’s advice to work as many wardrobe changes into the show as possible. She is wearing Tiffany jewels and a Valentino Archival gown, and she says she feels like a “princess/movie star/luckiest girl in the world.”

6:49: Mark Wahlberg is talking about how hard it was to get “The Fighter” made and how pleased he is to have such a great response to it. He not only stars in the film, he produced it. It’s a shame he didn’t get a best actor nod. He’s giving Robin her due for predicting the movie would be a success.

6:51: Geoffrey Rush (who is cue-ball bald) and Colin Firth are acknowledging their bromance, with Firth dubbing it a shocking display. “The King’s Speech” has a leading 12 nominations, but Rush says even if it goes home empty handed, he’s glad it touched a chord with viewers and allowed he and Colin for forge a great working relationship. I think it’s pretty much a guarantee that Colin is getting an Oscar this year.

6:52: Reese Witherspoon is wearing a black and white Armani gown with green ear dangles, with a bouncy ponytail that would look great on ’50s cheerleader. She doesn’t remember much about winning her Oscar a few years ago for “Walk the Line,” just that she had too much adrenaline and Jamie Foxx was very sweet to her. And now that she has co-starred with Robert Pattinson in the upcoming “Water for Elephants,” she has to be Team Edward. A “Twilight” reference at an entertainment event. Imagine.

6:54: Personal fave Robert Downey Jr. and his producer wife Susan have stepped up. Susan is wearing earrings Angelina Jolie designed, and Robert is wearing a dark suit with a white shirt and white tie. Susan says that they usually hang out in sweats when they’re not making movies, and Robert sardonically comments that his wife’s earrings are the most exciting part of the evening. He and Jude Law, who just finished filming the forthcoming “Sherlock Holmes” sequel, have been paired as presenters tonight.

6:56: Great trailer for “Source Code,” director Duncan Jones’ followup to “Moon.” It’s in theaters April 1, and I really want to see it.

7:00: Just got a glimpse of Halle Berry’s dress, and I’m not a fan of the raggedy-looking skirt. She is so lovely, and I wish she were wearing a gown that emphasized it.

7:01: Jennifer Hudson looks awesome in her flaming red-orange gown with the dramatic neckline, updo and earrings. She does look so svelte and beautiful these days.

7:02: Natalie Portman is wearing a canny plum gown that neither hides nor emphasizes her baby bump. She called “Black Swan” director Darren Aronofsky “the bee’s knees,” and she feels so lucky to have learned to dance for the movie. She is ready for awards season to be over and to leave the dress-up gowns in the closet. She’s ready for sweats and messy hair. I hope she has her speech ready because I’m betting she wins best actress.

7:03: “Oh, yeah, I am nominated tonight, aren’t I?” James Franco ponders. He’s got a lot on his mind, and he’s got the charm to pull off such a goofy remark. The killer smile helps. He’s praising co-host Anne Hathaway as full of energy and a great performer, and he’s revealing that he has wardrobe changes tonight, too. “Look for the change in suits.” He trails off sort of awkwardly to end the interview. Hopefully, he will be more at ease onstage.

7:05: Tim Gunn is gushing over Justin Timberlake, who took about an hour to get down the carpet. “It’s a long walk on that carpet,” Justin says, adding that it looks more pink than an TV. That prompts Tim to dub him “Justin Timberlake, color theorist.” Justin looks handsome in his classic tux and neatly trimmed facial hair. Maybe he can give Matt McC some tips.

7:07: Sandra Bullock looks so elegant in another of these popular candy-apple red gowns. Love the dramatic neckline and bare back. She is going to present the best actor award and she says she knows how nominee Javier Bardem feels at least – sleep deprived since he has a newborn. Sandra says that since she adopted her baby boy last year, her priorities have changed. She’s back to work but she wants to make sure that she manages her time well because she wants to get back home to him. She always seems like such a classy lady, and life hasn’t been all pretty gowns and golden statuettes for her since she won best actress last year. Good to see her with her head held high.

7:12: “I think it’s just beautiful to be nominated,” says Nicole Kidman, who is wearing a white gown with silvery accents and a sort of giant ribbon wrapped around it. “I like the structure of it,” she says, and it’s got a very unusual line. This is her first nomination since she married Keith Urban, who is holding her hand loyally. He says they have very similar but eclectic taste in music and they picked mellow music for the ride over.

7:14: Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing a gorgeous shimmering, gold column with stunning sparkly earrings. She is singing “Coming Home,” a best original song nominee from “Country Strong.” She says if she could have a dream duet, she would do it with Jay-Z.

7:15: Best supporting actor shoo-in Christian Bale is going with an all-black suit and full beard. He says that Dicky Edlund and Micky Ward, the real-life brothers he and Mark Wahlberg portray in “The Fighter,” are at the Oscars and he saw them having a good time earlier. Christian is glad that “the Fighter” finally got made and pleased that it has captured the attention and imagination of film fans.

7:20: News flash: Most of the stars interviewed on the red carpet are rooting for their own films or co-stars to win tonight. Shocking, I know. At least they’re honest.

7:21: We’re less than 10 minutes away from the start of the actual Academy Awards. Robin has moved the activity inside the Kodak Theatre, and past Oscar host Hugh Jackman is making a playful entrance. He said he is nervous for co-hosts Anne and James, even though he just decided to relax and have fun. He is reiterating his advice to Anne and James: eat a lot. They will need to keep up their energy; this show is three hours long and they are in charge of keeping it running smoothly and sort of on time. If they keep it on time, they will be my favorite hosts ever.

7:24: I love the color and bodice of past winner Halle Berry’s pale gown, but I hate the ragged tulle skirt and neckline adornment. It looks sort of ’80s. She says she loves seeing everyone’s interpretation of glamor; clearly she and I have different interpretations. Of course, she is much more experienced than I in the glamor department. She says she is sending up her love for the late Lena Horne and looking forward to her Broadway debut.

7:26: Two-time Oscar winner Tom Hanks is the last interview of the red carpet and will present the first award. He recalls as a nominee that when your category comes up the blood rushes to your head and all you can hear is gibberish. “This town makes time for a lot of things but it only shuts down for the Oscars.”

And with those words of wisdom, we’ll end the Oscars red carpet live blog. Please join me in minutes for the Academy Awards live blog right here on BAM’s Blog.

-BAM

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Reminder: Oscars live blog tonight at BAM’s Blog!

Oscars Day is finally here!

Remember, the 83rd Annual Academy Awards will air live at 7:30 p.m. today on ABC (KOCO-5 in Oklahoma City), and you can follow along with live blog here at BAM’s Blog!

The festivities will begin here on the blog and on TV at 6 p.m. with the Oscars red carpet. (That’s the official word on the start times from my Cox Cable TV guide.)

To read my predictions of what will go down tonight at Hollywood’s Kodak Theatre, click here. For even more coverage from what’s been Oscars Week here at BAM’s Blog, check out the “Awards shows” category on the right rail of the blog. (Just click on the “Category” tab to drop down the categories list.)

How many gowns with co-host Anne Hathaway wear? Who will give the windiest speech? Can it really be true that the Academy will eliminate unnecessary movie montages like last year’s “salute to horror films that would never get 1,000 miles of Oscar consideration”? Just how long over the three-hour allotted time with the show run?

Please make plans to join me tonight as we get the answers to these questions and finally wrap up the film awards season!

-BAM

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It’s Oscars Week on BAM’s Blog!

The 83rd Annual Academy Awards will air live from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood at 7 p.m. CST Sunday on ABC.

All this week, I’ll be working to get you ready for the Oscars with special posts, videos, predictions and nominations lists leading up to my live blog of the event Sunday night!

So, stay with me here at BAM’s Blog, film fans, and we’ll get through the end of awards season together!

-BAM

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Live blog: 53rd Annual Grammy Awards

6:58: Full disclosure: I was involved in a fender-bender on the still-icy roads on Friday, and I’m on pain meds for a strained back and whiplash-like symptoms. So if my live blog seems particularly loopy, it’s probably the drugs, though we can’t rule out the crazy state of popular music as the culprit.

7:00: The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards are starting with a tribute to ailing diva Aretha Franklin, so at least the opening clips are destined to sound great. LL Cool J is taking the stage in a cool dark purple suit to introduce the singers who will be paying R-E-S-P-E-C-T to the Queen of Soul: Martina McBride, Yolanda Adams, Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch and Christina Aguilera. Hopefully, the National Anthem isn’t on the bill, or Xtina is in big trouble. Actually, they are starting, naturally, with “A Natural Woman,” although Aguilera is immediately hitting a raw nerve with her crazy vocal acrobatics. Just sing. Please.

7:05: We’re five minutes in, and Xtina has caused her voice to do every gymnastics move in vocal histrionics history. That seems like it should be a record. But she didn’t obviously botch any lyrics, so I guess she has sort of redeemed herself after her forgetful Super Bowl rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Personally, I’m preferring the big-voiced but less flashy performances by Martina, Jennifer, Yolanda and Florence (of Florence and the Machine). They aren’t as heavy on the flourishes as Xtina’s vocal acrobatics, but they sound so much better and seem a more fitting tribute.

7:11: Overall, I’m impressed with this lineup of strong women singers, Christina’s expected oversinging notwithstanding. Very deserved standing ovation. If they formed a vocal supergroup, I’d buy their album. Now, we’re cutting to a live video feed of Aretha. She has clearly lost weight, but she looks pretty feisty in her sparkly white gown.

7:19: The five divas of the Grammys opening are going to present the first Grammy, for Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals. Here are the nominees:

“Don’t Stop Believin’”

(Regionals Version)

Glee Cast

“Misery”

Maroon 5

“The Only Exception”

Paramore

“Babyfather”

Sade

“Hey, Soul Sister (Live)”

Train

7:20: Winner: Train. Lead singer Patrick Monahan says he’s freaking out. Me, too. If that’s the way this night is going to go, I’m going to need stronger drugs. Train? Really? I cannot stand that song. But I do like Monahan thanking Justin Bieber for not being a duo or group.

7:23: Again, gonna need stronger drugs. Ricky Martin shows up in skin-tight silver pants to introduce Lady Gaga, who emerges from an alien-looking cockpit to sing her new single “Born This Way.” At least her two-piece pale yellow dress isn’t made of meat or chicken or Moon Pies or any other food item. I’m not usually one to make accusations about one musician of ripping off another one, but “Born This Way” sounds an awful lot like Madonna’s “Express Yourself.” Obviously Lady Gaga – like Madonna – prides herself on reinvention: Does it count as reinvention if you reinvent yourself into what some other star already has been? Just wondering.

7:33: Tishomingo resident Blake Shelton is emphasizing how much he loves the next performer: His fiancee and fellow Tishomingo resident Miranda Lambert. She is dedicating her sentimental hit “The House That Built Me” to all the Grammy performers who came before her. Miranda looks lovely in her short silvery dress and loose blond locks, and she really sounds lovely on this Grammy-nominated ballad. Personally, I prefer Miranda’s more fiery material, but I’m just thrilled to see all the well-deserved success she and Blake have experienced in the past year or so. It’s a beautiful, low-key Grammy moment, and her straight-ahead vocals are a great relief after all the wackiness of the first half-hour of tonight’s show. Big smile from Miranda and big round of applause from the crowd. Way to go, Ran!

7:38: Lenny Kravitz takes the stage to introduce Muse’s first Grammy performance. That’s a crazy back-to-back lineup: Miranda Lambert and then Muse. Talk about something for everybody. Anyway, watching Muse rock through “Uprising,” accompanied by a dynamic light show, I’m thinking the British trio should have played the Super Bowl halftime show rather than Black Eyed Peas, who just bored me last Sunday.

7:49: We’re not allowed to have a music-related TV event without Ryan Seacrest, so here he is to introduce Bruno Mars, B.o.B. and Janelle Monae’s group performance. I’m looking forward to this performance because I think Janelle Monae is such an amazing, unique talent. Bruno and B.o.B. are OK, but I would listen to Janelle Monae sing the recipes in a 1950s cookbook because I know she would develop some sort of grand R&B/rock opera out of old recipes for oven-fried chicken and lemon aspic. So far, she’s getting short shrift in this performance, but I’m trying to be patient.

7:53: So, I’m liking Bruno Mars’ old-school soul performance, and the black-and-white effect is really interesting and fun. But I still am waiting to hear Janelle unleash.

7:55: Woo! Go Janelle. She’s rocking her usual pompadour and tuxedo and belting “Cold War” from her album “The ArchAndroid,” which made my top 10 albums of 2010 list. Janelle stage dives, and her pompadour stays perfectly in place. And now she and the guys are getting a standing ovation, and I must agree with the crowd’s enthusiastic assessment.

7:58: Dierks Bentley and Zac Brown are taking the stage to present the best female country vocal performance, and Oklahoma has two contenders in this category:

“Satisfied”

Jewel

*”The House That Built Me”

Miranda Lambert

“Swingin’”

LeAnn Rimes

*”Temporary Home”

Carrie Underwood

“I’d Love To Be Your Last”

Gretchen Wilson

7:59: Winner: Miranda Lambert! Yay! She’s all smiles as she accepts her “first Grammy performance ever, first Grammy ever. Thank you Tom and Allen for writing this song and thank you so much for loving the lyrics to this song because it means the world to me and I know that everyone can relate to it,” she said, thanking songwriters Tom Douglas & Allen Shamblin. I’m so happy for Miranda!

8:05: Eva Longoria has apparently seen “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” because she’s giving us the background on Justin and Usher, complete with a 2007 clip of the Biebs singing for Usher. He’s only 16, does he really warrant such flashbacks? I can see flashback clips for Aretha but not Bieber. Now, Usher and the Bieber are recounting that history with revisions for us one more time. Finally, Bieber starts singing and playing acoustic guitar. I don’t have Bieber fever, but I’d rather hear a performance than jabber about the Bieb’s remarkable musical beginnings. Now, a group of drumming ninjas and firebreathers are taking the stage as Bieber’s performance goes electric. At least, I think that’s what’s happening; I’m on drugs, remember?

8:09: If this performance needed more over-hyped precociousness, it just got it, as Jaden Smith leaped out of the floor to start singing and pseudo-rapping with Biebs. Quick, cut to proud papa and mama Will Smith and Jaden Pinkett-Smith in the crowd! And speaking of father figures, Usher, the mogul who brought you the Biebs, is taking over now. I’m sure all the lights and dancers and sound effects are just going to seem like a oxycodone flashback to me later. Right now, it’s just a sensory assault from the Grammys stage.

8:15: Pauley Perrette of “NCIS” and Paramore are here to present the best rock album Grammy. Here are the options, and I’m betting there’s a bunch of old timers that cancel each other out here:

“Emotion & Commotion”

Jeff Beck

“The Resistance”

Muse

“Backspacer”

Pearl Jam

“Mojo”

Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers

“Le Noise”

Neil Young

8:16: Winner: Muse. They’re thanking all the usual suspects, including the fans, in their very British way.

8:20: Selena Gomez and Donnie Wahlberg are going to present the best pop album award, and there’s quite a range here:

“My World 2.0″

Justin Bieber

“I Dreamed A Dream”

Susan Boyle

“The Fame Monster”

Lady Gaga

“Battle Studies”

John Mayer

“Teenage Dream”

Katy Perry

8:22: Winner: Lady Gaga, who has traded her almost normal looking two-piece yellow frock for an S&M suit of armor. My TV just lost sound, so I’m assuming she is testing the censors with her speech. She’s thanking all the usual suspects, and she’s rambling about her dream to be whatever she wanted to be. Now, she’s giving special thinks to Whitney Houston, saying she imagined Whitney singing it as she wrote it because she wasn’t secure enough to imagine herself as a superstar. She’s not secure enough to imagine herself singing a song but she’s secure enough to wear that?

8:25: Live by video from the home office, David Letterman is presenting a special Grammy top 10 list and introducing a special performance by Mumford & Sons, Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan. As a huge acoustic fan, this is one that I’m really looking forward to hearing, and so far, Mumford & Sons are not disappointing but where’s Bob and the Avetts?

8:27: Ooh, the Avetts are dressed up and performing their beautiful “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise.” Love this song and I’m always happy to watch the Avetts play. But when you advertise that stars are going to perform together, I’m thinking they’re actually going to collaborate, not just take turns in an orderly fashion playing their own music. I’m feeling a bit ripped off.

8:30: Ah, here’s Bob Dylan, and all the bands are getting together to perform Dylan’s classic “Maggie’s Farm.” Dylan is sounding a little rough these days, but his mere presence gets a standing o from the crowd.

8:40: Lea Michele of “Glee” and Clay Matthews of Super Bowl winners the Green Bay Packers are introducing Lady Antebellum singing “If You Don’t Know Me By Now,” then moving into their hit “American Honey” and their unavoidable smash “Need You Now.” I love listening to this country trio working its great harmonies.

8:44: Miley Cyrus and three of the four Kings of Leon are sharing the stage. Weird. Anyway, they’re presenting best country album, and I’m so rooting for Miranda:

“Up On The Ridge”

Dierks Bentley

“You Get What You Give”

Zac Brown Band

“The Guitar Song”

Jamey Johnson

“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

*”Revolution”

Miranda Lambert

8:45: Winner: Lady A. Aww, I was hoping Miranda would get it, but she took it like a champ. She gave a gracious nod and a big smile; she and Lady A are good friends, so I’m sure she’s happy for them. Lady A graciously got their producer Paul Worley up on stage and let him do most of the talking. Nice.

8:46: Jamie Foxx is playing psyche out with the censors as he jokes around about introducing Cee Lo Green, Gwyneth Paltrow and some of the Muppets performing “Forget You,” the toned-down version of Green’s profane hit. Cee Lo Green is getting into the spirit of performing with some Jim Henson’s puppets, sitting at the piano with a spangled cap, bulbous sunglasses and a costume covered in red, blue and yellow feathers. It’s the type of outfit Elton John would have turned down in the ’70s as too flamboyant.

In contrast, Gwyneth, who performed “Forget You” on an episode of “Glee,” is drssed to impress in a slim black body suit, with her multicolored skyscraper heels her only concession to the multi-hued madness on stage. She’s dancing on the piano, and Cee Lo is getting to his feet, too. If Cee Lo Green’s music career slides downhill after “F— You,” he can always get a job on “Sesame Street” as Big Bird’s adopted brother with that outfit.

8:57: Yay, Neil Patrick Harris is taking the stage to naughtily introduce Katy Perry’s performance. Perry recently guest-starred as the latest conquest for NPH’s Barney on the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother.” As usual, Perry is dressed in a cleavage-bearing gown covered in sparkles, and she’s sitting on an old-fashioned swing as she croons “Not Like the Movies.” Apparently, she attended one of the shows on Carrie Underwood’s “Play On Tour,” though Carrie at least swung on her old-fashioned swing. Now, Katy is dancing with a group of Valentine’s Day-theme dancers to “Teenage Dream,” and now they’re showing a shot of Nicole Kidman singing along in the crowd.

I must say, I don’t get the people who hate Katy Perry anymore than I get those who adore her. Her music is so generic and forgettable I have trouble working up any ire or enthusiasm for it. She’s a perfect example of modern-day pop: All flash, little substance. The only reason I even care about her is she guest-starred on HIMYM, which happens to be one of my fave shows.

9:02: John Mayer, Norah Jones and Keith Urban are gathered at center stage playing a smoking rendition of Lifetime Achievement Award winner Dolly Parton’s “Jolene.” No backup dancers, no light shows, no huge production, and this is easily one of the best performances of the whole night. It’s all substance and talent, without the flash. What a great tribute to the very worthy Dolly Parton. Bravo.

9:04: John, Keith and Norah are now going to present the song of the year award. Here are the noms:

“Beg Steal Or Borrow”

Ray LaMontagne, songwriter

“F*** You”

Brody Brown, Cee Lo Green,

Ari Levine, Philip Lawrence &

Bruno Mars, songwriters

“The House That Built Me”

Tom Douglas & Allen

Shamblin, songwriters

“Love The Way You Lie”

Alexander Grant, Skylar

Grey & Marshall Mathers,

songwriters

“Need You Now”

Dave Haywood, Josh Kear,

Charles Kelley & Hillary

Scott, songwriters

9:06: Winner: Lady A and Josh Kear for ubiquitous country-pop smash “Need You Now.” I’m surprised that this won the multi-genre song title. Amazing. Hillary is in tears as she thanks everyone and gushes about how the song has turned their world upside down. I suspect Lady A will be even bigger after winning two golden gramophones just during the televised part of the Grammys.

9:12: Seth Rogen is actually wearing a suit for his first visit to the Grammys, and he’s joking about getting high backstage with Miley Cyrus. He’s introducing Rihanna, Dr. Dre and Eminem’s performance. Rihanna’s black and yellow gown is big enough to destroy the Staples Center if angered, but she’s got Adam Levine from Maroon5 singing and playing piano along with her on “Love the Way You Lie,” which hopefully will soothe the savage tulle-beast. Now, the censors are holding down the button for the arrival of fast-rapping Eminem, who has already won two Grammys out of the leading 10 for which he was nominated. Skylar Grey and Dr. Dre are joining them for this bombastic performance, but I’m afraid Eminem’s angry rapper routine is going to cause Rihanna’s dress to go on a rampage. Really, the ladies come across as the real talents in this performance, which gets yet another standing o.

9:20: Jewel, looking lovely in a pale yellow gown, and John Legend, in his slick dark blue suit, are going to present the best new artist Grammy. Will Biebs win it? Personally, I’m hoping for a Florence and the Machine or Mumford & Sons upset.

Justin Bieber

Drake

Florence & The Machine

Mumford & Sons

Esperanza Spalding

9:22: Winner: Esperanza Spalding. Wow. And that wow goes for her win, for her afro and for her tattered yellow gown. She promises to do her best to live up to the honor by making great music.

9:28: Matthew Morrison of “Glee” fame is introducing Neil Portnow, chairman of the Recording Academy, who will be giving the official spiel while Esperanza and high school students from the Grammy Band and Grammy Jazz Ensemble play. It’s an effective way of jazzing up the annual speech about the charitable efforts of the Recording Academy.

9:32: Bring out your dead! Matthew Morrison is now introducing the “in memoriam” montage featuring  Lena Horne, Ronnie James Dio, Teena Marie, Charlie Louvin, Eddie Fisher, Jimmy Dean, Alex Chilton, and many more.

9:35: The montage gives way to the not-quite-dead Mick Jagger, who is paying tribute to the late Solomon Burke “The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll Soul,” with his first Grammy performance. The crowd is on its feet and grooving along as the Rolling Stone struts and sings “Everybody Needs Somebody to Love,” with Raphael Saadiq on electric guitar. This performance is a lot of fun, and Mick is putting many of these youngsters to shame with his talent and energy. That’s a whole lot better than just the usual montage.

9:47: Kris Kristofferson is grumblingly introducing a performance by MusiCares Person of the Year and “one of the most talented people in the universe,” Barbra Steisand. Babs is crooning her Grammy- and Oscar-winning chestnut “Evergreen.” As with Sir Mick, we’re seeing a veteran performer simply school all these upstarts. I’m not even a big Babs fan, but give this woman a mic and an orchestra and she absolutely warrants the standing O she’s getting.

9:51: Nicki Minaj, sporting a sky-high two-toned afro and a leopard-print dress, and Black Eyed Peas will.i.am are going to present the award for best rap album, and Eminem looks like he might destroy the arena if he doesn’t win …

“The Adventures Of Bobby Ray”

B.o.B

“Thank Me Later”

Drake

“Recovery”

Eminem

“The Blueprint 3″

Jay-Z

“How I Got Over”

The Roots

9:52: Potential crisis averted. Winner: Eminem. He says “This is crazy,” and he’s graciously thanking the usual suspects, with a special shout-out to Rihanna, Dr. Dre and his hometown of Detroit.

9:59: Puff Daddy has gotten braces, and he’s apparently stoned, as he oh-so-slowly introduces Rihanna and Drake performing “What’s My Name.” Rihanna has gone from an extremely big dress to a skimpy Wonder Woman-style costume as she breathily sings along with the leather-jacket-clad Drake. They don’t need to the bonfire in the background; Rihanna is heating this place up all on her own. So far, every guy she has performed with tonight has been reduced to her background vocalist.

10:02: Marc Anthony and JLo are acting like the married couple they are, and they’re being pretty awkward and weird. Next time, save the ad libbing for home and just read the prompter, you two. Here are the record of the year contenders:

“Nothin’ On You”

B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars

“Love The Way You Lie”

Eminem Featuring Rihanna

“F*** You”

Cee Lo Green

“Empire State Of Mind”

Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

10:04: Winner: Lady A again. It’s a huge night for country music and for this Southern trio. “We’re so stunned, we started walking the wrong direction,” Hillary admits. She’s noting what a big year it’s been since they performed “Need You Now” on the Grammys stage last year. It’s short, sweet and sincere. That’s what I like in a Grammys acceptance speech.

10:11: Jason Segel takes the stage to introduce Arcade Fire’s first Grammy performance, but before sharing what he’s learned from attending the Grammys: If you make music that sells enough records, you can wear whatever you want. Amen to that! Arcade Fire’s “The Suburbs” was my favorite album of 2010, so naturally, I’m rooting for them to win the award at the Grammys. But their performance of “Month of May” with all its flashing white lights and trick bikers is a bit of an assault on my tired eyeballs. And is that Edmond’s own Mat Hoffman on one of those BMX bikes? Why, yes, I believe it is.

10:22: Babs and Kris are back to present album of the year. Will Lady A continue to dominate? Will Arcade Fire win it? Here are the options:

“The Suburbs”

Arcade Fire

“Recovery”

Eminem

“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

“The Fame Monster”

Lady Gaga

“Teenage Dream”

Katy Perry

10:23: Winner: Arcade Fire! Wow, that was so unexpected and so awesome! Barbra and Kris are wishing everyone a goodnight, and Arcade Fire are going to play us out with another song from “The Suburbs,” “Ready to Start,” which suits me down to the ground.

Well, it was a night of a few genuine surprises, a big win for Miranda Lambert and many, many bombastic performances, which were largely outdone by some of the more low-key moments. Arcade Fire scored a huge win on behalf of alternative/indie rock, and Lady A made country music’s night again and again. As the last theatrical chords of “Ready to Start” fade away, the 53rd Grammys are in the record books and I’m off to take more pain meds. Goodnight!!

-BAM

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Live blog: 2011 Golden Globe Awards

7:00: Ricky Gervais has an undisclosed drink in hand and he’s opening with a disappointingly easy target: Charlie Sheen and his recent drunken antics. But now he’s getting onto to some better bull-eyes: He’s clearing up the reason why “The Tourist” got nominated: Apparently the Hollywood Foreign Press Association didn’t just nominate it to hang out with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. “They also accepted bribes.”

He’s also suggesting the best special effects Globe should go to the people who airbrushed the “Sex and the City 2″ poster. Now, he’s taking cracks at Hugh Hefner, Mel Gibson, certain famous Scientologists (yikes!), and the “Lost” finale. We’re less than five minutes in and he’s already been bleeped once, and I think these stars aren’t drunk enough yet for Ricky because most of the jokes got pretty icy responses from the star-studded crowd.

7:05: Scarlett Johansson, wearing tonight’s trend of pale sparkling gowns, is here to give out the first award, for best supporting actor in film. And I bet it’s going to Christian Bale. Here are the nominations:

Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, “The Fighter”; Michael Douglas, “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”; Andrew Garfield, “The Social Network”; Jeremy Renner, “The Town”; Geoffrey Rush, “The King’s Speech.”

7:07: Winner: Christian Bale, who is rocking some flowing locks tonight. He acknowledges that he never knew who the HFPA were before now – who does? – but he’s saying he now realizes how wise and perceptive they are. Love it. He’s thinking everyone very graciously but now he will. not. leave. Even the go-away music isn’t deterring him. LL COOL J may have to physically move him out of the way.

7:10: Here come LL COOL J and Julie Bowen to announce the first TV award, best actress in a drama series. Here are the noms:

Actress, Drama: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”; Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men”; Piper Perabo, “Covert Affairs”; Katey Sagal, “Sons of Anarchy”; Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer.”

7:12: Winner: Katey Sagal of “Married With Children” fame comes out of nowhere to win for the FX biker series “Sons of Anarchy.” I did not see that one coming. She’s been around the biz for so long, and it’s great to see how excited she is to win. She’s thanking her husband, Kurt Sutter, who produces the show, saying “I’m so glad you’re the boss of me.” She got the go-away music even faster than Christian Bale, and she’s ignoring it nearly as effectively.

7:17: Julianne Moore, who looks stunning in her red gown with the incredible necklace, and Kevin Spacey are introducing Miss Golden Globe, Joe Mantegna’s daughter Tia, who will be assisting with the awards. Now they’re are presenting best mini-series or TV movie. Here are the options:

Miniseries or Movie: “Carlos,” Sundance Channel; “The Pacific,” HBO; “Pillars of the Earth,” Starz; “Temple Grandin,” HBO; “You Don’t Know Jack,” HBO.

7:20: Winner: “Carlos,” which tells the story of Venezuelan revolutionary Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, who founded a worldwide terrorist organization and raided the 1975 OPEC meeting. The producer representing the show keeps thanking the Academy, so either he doesn’t know the HFPA either or the language barrier is tripping him up. But ignoring the go-away music is universal here tonight. Well, in everyone’s defense it is being applied so inconsistently tonight, you can’t blame the winner.

7:22: Bruce Willis has a big grin and a good nature about getting stung by one of Ricky’s sharper barbs. He just introduced Bruce by listing a series of his less-respected films and then calling him “Ashton Kutcher’s dad.” Bruce is showing a clip from “RED,” which is nominated for the best musical or comedy film, but not before striking back with “Hollywood sometimes provides you with great fortune – Ricky.” Kids, that was a rare case of canned banter being used for good. It’s like sighting a Bengal tiger in the wild, it’s so rare.

7:24: The handsome Garrett Hedlund and cutie Leighton Meester of “Country Strong” are going to present best supporting actor in a TV series prize, right after Leighton subtly adjusts her tangled but cute long gown. Here are the noms:

Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Scott Caan, “Hawaii Five-O”; Chris Colfer, “Glee”; Chris Noth, “The Good Wife”; Eric Stonestreet, “Modern Family”; David Strathairn, “Temple Grandin.”

7:25: Winner: Chris Colfer, who is just shocked and so cute about it. “I think I lost my heart between Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore so if you find that, please give it back.” After thanking all the usual suspects, he’s dedicating his win “to all the amazing kids who watch our show who are told no by bullies and people at school, told they can’t be who they are. Well, screw that kids.” Well said. This may be the start of a huge night for “Glee.”

7:30: Golden Globe winner Michelle Pfeiffer still looks amazing, especially in that dark blue dress that brings out her eyes and flatters her coloring so well. She’s introducing the clip from “Alice in Wonderland,” another nominee for best musical or comedy film. That movie also won the Not-So-Obviously-Worst Movie award from the Oklahoma Film Critics Circle. So obviously, it’s not so obvious that Tim Burton’s “Alice” was disappointing. Apparently, it’s not obvious to the HFPA, whoever that is.

7:32: Ricky is introducing Eva Longoria, who will introduce the president of the mysterious HFPA, joking that he just had to haul the guy off the toilet and pop his teeth in. I don’t think the prez, Phil Berk, appreciated it because he just told Ricky the next time he wanted to qualify one of his movie, “Go to another guy.” He’s congratulating everyone else for being cool, essentially. This may be Ricky’s last stand as Golden Globes host.

7:34: Milla Jovovich, love her silver gown, and Kevin Bacon are going to present another TV award, for best actor in a drama. Here are the options:

Actor, Drama: Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”; Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”; Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”; Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”; Hugh Laurie, “House.”

Winner: Steve Buscemi gets his first Golden Globe for “Boardwalk Empire.” I love him so much and everyone else seems to as well. He’s thanking Table 114 for being a lot of fun and then putting on his glasses. “I gotta talk fast before that sad music comes on.” “I’m only as good as the people I work with, and I have an amazing cast.” That’s probably why so many people there love him. He’s thanking the usual suspects, and he’s commenting that his 4-year-old nephew left him a voicemail saying “Uncle Steve, wish me luck,” so he’s doing it. And he’s even a good uncle.

7:38: Moving right along, Kevin and Milla are now presenting the best TV drama award, which is probably an indication it’s going to go to “Boardwalk Empire.” Here are the noms:

Series, Drama: “Boardwalk Empire,” HBO; “Dexter,” Showtime; “The Good Wife,” CBS; “Mad Men,” AMC; “The Walking Dead,” AMC.

7:39: Winner: Yep, “Boardwalk Empire.” Exec producer Terence Winter sums it up: “Holy f-ing crap, we just won a Golden Globe.” Mark Wahlberg, another EP of this HBO powerhouse series, laughs when Winter comments “to my friends back home, I can’t believe I’m sharing a table with Al Pacino, either.”

I was rooting for “The Walking Dead,” but to be fair, I have yet to see “Boardwalk Empire.” Need to put that on the Netflix wish list.

7:41: They just showed a clip of Angelina Jolie adjusting Brad Pitt’s collar. Either the HFPA is really obsessed with them, or this is somebody’s way of showing us they are just another couple just like us. Now, they’re really not.

7:44: “The Social Network” star Andrew Garfield is introducing the montage of clips from the film, which is nominated for best drama film. The future “Spider-Man” is getting tangled in the prompter dialogue, and laughing it off charmingly. That was my favorite movie of the year.

7:46: Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez are here to present, and Alec is taking a moment to point out her gorgeous white gown with the sheer and sequined wrap. It really is lovely. They are going to present the best original song prize, and I’m rooting for Oklahoma girl Carrie Underwood. Here are the noms:

Original Song: “Bound to You” (written by Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera, Sia Furler), “Burlesque”; “Coming Home” (written by Bob DiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges), “Country Strong”; “I See the Light,” (written by Alan Menken, Glenn Slater), “Tangled”; “There’s a Place for Us” (written by Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey), “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”; “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me,” (written by Diane Warren), “Burlesque.”

7:48: Winner: Aw, it’s Diane Warren for “You Haven’t See the Last of Me.” Darn it. It’s her first win in five nominations, so she seems really surprised and totally flustered. She’s thanking Cher for being “an eternal badass.” She’s dedicating the award to her mom and the late Roni Chasen, her publicist who was murdered last year. She also comments that the first time she was nominated her dad wrote her speech on a napkin and she didn’t win and has since lost the napkin.

I wish Carrie had won, and I’m not a big Diane Warren fan, but it was a disarmingly likeable speech, mostly because she seemed genuinely thrilled and nearly cried.

7:50: Moving right along, Alec and JLo are presenting best original score:

Original Score: Alexandre Desplat, “The King’s Speech”; Danny Elfman, “Alice in Wonderland”; A.R. Rahman, “127 Hours”; Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, “The Social Network”; Hans Zimmer, “Inception.”

I’m disappointed that Daft Punk’s “Tron: Legacy” score is not among them, but I’m rooting for “Social Network.

7:51: Winner: “The Social Network.” Wow, Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor cleans up nice. He looks quite happen in his tux, and he’s speaking on behalf of Ross when he thanks all the usual folks and comments he never imagined a year ago that he would have the chance to score a film.

He and Ross did a great job on “The Social Network,” and I’m stoked to hear what they come up with for “Social Network” director David Fincher’s adaptation of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

7:56: “True Grit” breakout star Hailee Steinfeld and teen idol Justin Bieber have been paired to present the best animated feature award, which seems a little condescending. But she looks radiant, and he looks like a cutie now that he’s ditched the mongo glasses, and there are some great films competing here. But I think it’s another lock for Pixar:

Animated Film: “Toy Story 3,” “The Illusionist,” “How to Train Your Dragon,” “Despicable Me,” “Tangled.”

7:57: Hailee and Justin have huge grins as they announce that “Toy Story 3″ is the winner. Director Lee Unkrich asks “Wow, were you two even born when the first ‘Toy Story’ came out?” Lee started trying to just wing it and quickly stuck his foot in his mouth, so he’s breaking out the old index card. Good move. He’s thanking audiences “for coming out in record numbers to support an animated film that beat with a human heart.”

8:00: Ricky is introducing Robert Downey Jr. by his list of films including “Iron Man,” “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” and “Wonder Boys,” and then ponders “Are these porn films?” “But you know him better from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.” Robert gives Ricky a look and then comments that the tone of tonight’s show has been rather creepy and slightly sinister but good. And he’s adding to it, but telling the five women nominated for the best actress in a comedy or musical that he believes that an actress can’t do her best work until she’s slept with him, and ends a series of randy ramblings about each one with “I’d like to give it to all five of you at once, right here on center stage, in front of my wife and millions of viewers – the award.”

Wow, anyway, here are the options:

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Annette Bening, “The Kids Are All Right”; Julianne Moore, “The Kids Are All Right”; Anne Hathaway, “Love & Other Drugs”; Angelina Jolie, “The Tourist”; Emma Stone, “Easy A.”

8:04: Winner: Annette Bening, who apparently borrowed Bieber’s glasses right after a wombat attacked her hair. She’s being quite effusive in her thanks to co-star Julianne Moore, whom she beat out for the award. After thanking the rest of the cast and crew, along with her kids, she thanks the “winner of the 1962 Golden Globe for most promising actor, my husband Warren Beatty.” I noticed the string ensemble didn’t break out the get-off-the-stage music for her, even though she went on a bit. Maybe they’ve all ditched their bows and decided just to get a drink because these Hollywood types don’t know how to listen when they hear the go-away music.

8:10: Ricky has ditched the jacket and at least part of the snark as he introduces Sylvester Stallone. Maybe he’s just afraid Sly will hit him hard enough to kill him. The “Rocky” star still looks in great shape as he introduces the clip for best drama nominated film “The Fighter.” Great film.

8:12: Geoffrey Rush with jaunty hat and Tilda Swinton in her white blouse and skirt look like they planned their outfits to match. It’s cool. They’re going to present the best actor in a mini-series or TV movie, and I’m guessing if Al Pacino is nominated, he’s taking home the Globe.Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Idris Elba, “Luther”; Ian McShane, “Pillars of the Earth”; Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack”; Dennis Quaid, “The Special Relationship”; Edgar Ramirez, “Carlos.”

8:13: Yep. Al wins, and the crowd gives him a standing O. “It’s such a special thing when an actor gets to portray a real person,” says Pacino, who played Jack Kevorkian in the telefilm. He said it was so interesting and fun to navigate the assisted-suicide advocate’s life. As he thanks the cast and crew, especially producer Barry Levinson, he also gives a nod to Kevorkian. I noticed as he was fretting over forgetting folks there was no go-away music. They wouldn’t dare do that to Al.

8:16: Now, Geoffrey and Tilda are going to present the Globe for best actress in a mini-series. Here are the options, and I’m going to say if Dame Judy is nominated, she’s going to win.

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Hayley Atwell, “Pillars of the Earth”; Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin”; Judi Dench, “Return to Cranford”; Romola Garai, “Emma”; Jennifer Love Hewitt, “The Client List.”

8:17: I was so wrong. Winner: Claire Danes, who is wearing a gorgeous gown the exact color of Braum’s delicious Sicilian orange sherbet, and she’s nearly in tears because “It’s such an honor to be here tonight with Temple.” After giving a “holla” – literally – to the cast, crew, her family, et al, she takes a moment to pay poignant tribute to Grandin: “She’s still working with incredible zeal and devotion to illuminate mysteries about autism and animal behavior.” In the telefim. Claire plays Temple Grandin, an autistic woman who has become one of the top scientists in the humane livestock handling industry.

8:24: Zac Efron, who looks really grown up in his classy black suit with black tie, is introducing the clip montage for “The Kids Are All Right,” a nominee for best comedy or musical film.

8:25: Ricky is introducing Tina Fey and the “ungrateful” Steve Carell, the star of the U.S. version of “The Office,” the British show Ricky created. Steve shoves away Ricky with a hugely fake laugh and a “It never gets old.” They’re wryly telling us about the best screenplay nominees, which Tina would like us to know they could have written if they’d had time. Here are the options, go Aaron Sorkin!

Screenplay: Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy, “127 Hours”; Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg, “The Kids Are All Right”; Christopher Nolan, “Inception”; David Seidler, “The King’s Speech”; Aaron Sorkin, “The Social Network.”

8:28: Yay for Aaron Sorkin, who is giving a speech worthy of an award-winning writer. He calls David Fincher a “national treasure.” He’s paying tribute to Mark Zuckerberg, noting that Rooney Mara’s character was wrong about the Facebook founder, and that he turned out to be a great entrepreneur and altruist. And he tells his daughter to look around at all the talented actresses and aspiring to become elite, which “is not a four-letter word. Smart girls have more fun.” I wouldn’t mind seeing a short film made of Sorkin’s speech. I want to be him when I grow up, or at least a 1/16th as talented.

8:30: Chris Hemsworth, who will soon be playing “Thor” (happy dance from me), and Chris Evans, who soon will be Captain America, are presenting the best supporting TV actress award.

Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Hope Davis, “The Special Relationship”; Jane Lynch, “Glee”; Kelly Macdonald, “Broadwalk Empire”; Julia Stiles, “Dexter”; Sofia Vergara, “Modern Family.”

8:32: Gleeks rejoice: Jane Lynch wins and proceeds to give the most hilarious speech of the night. Lauding herself as “falsely humble,” she shares the award with “Glee” writer Ian Brennan, who created her Sue Sylvester character and is responsible for all the deranged and reprehensible things she says. So far, her speech and Sorkin’s are by far the most entertaining of the evening. Mostly, the show has been kind of dull with a few gags that were more appallingly inappropriate than genuinely funny.

8:37: He’s saying that the next presenters are young and thin and lovely to look at “which is just as well because they’re presenting the award for foreign language film, which no one in America cares about.” “Twilight” heartthrob Robert Pattinson looks handsome in his navy suit, and “Tron: Legacy” star Olivia Wilde looks terrific in a sparkly gown that looks like it’s been made out of derezzed programs and is at least as big as The Grid.

Here are the foreign language film options:

“Biutiful,” “The Concert,” “The Edge,” “I Am Love,” “In a Better World.”

8:39: Winner: Denmark’s “In a Better World.” The director, Susanne Bier, thanks people for supporting a film in which “people are talking like they have potatoes down their throats.” That is definitely the most intriguing thing anyone has said here tonight. I’m going to have to go and get that movie so I can see it and try to figure out what the heck she means by that.

8:41: The ever-awesome and beautiful Helen Mirren is showing off the clips of “The King’s Speech,” which is a fab film.

8:42: Blair Underwood and Vanessa Williams have arrived to present the award for best actress in a TV comedy or musical. Blair comments that they provided comedy in a year when it was greatly needed; is there ever a year when we don’t need laughter? Just a thought. Anyway, here are the noms:

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Toni Collette, “The United States of Tara”; Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”; Tina Fey, “30 Rock”; Laura Linney, “The Big C”; Lea Michele, “Glee.”

8:43: Winner: Laura Linney, who couldn’t be there tonight. Anticlimactic.

8:47: A standing ovation greets Jane Fonda, who is there to show the clips for “Burlesque,” which she is presenting on behalf of her friend Cher, who can’t be there because she’s in Vegas doing her standing gig. “Burlesque” is among this year’s controversial nominees for best comedy or musical.

8:48: “White Collar’s” Matt Bomer and “The Big Bang Theory’s” Kaley Cuoco are going to present the award for best actor in a TV comedy or musical, and I’m rooting for BBT’s Jim Parsons.

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”; Steve Carell, “The Office”; Thomas Jane, “Hung”; Matthew Morrison, “Glee”; Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory.”

8:49: Yay: Jim Parson wins and Kaley is literally jumping up and down. Jim shows why he is so funny when he accidentally calls the writers “my writers,” “how crass. The truth comes out.” Jim hurriedly thanks everyone even though the go-away music makers are surely wasted and totally apathetic by now. He even remembered to say happy birthday to his nephew and apologize for not making his party. Sweet uncle.

8:51: With great drama, Jeremy Irons is introducing the supporting actress in film competitors. Go “The Fighter!”

Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo, “The Fighter”; Helena Bonham Carter, “The King’s Speech”; Mila Kunis, “Black Swan”; Amy Adams, “The Fighter”; Jacki Weaver, “Animal Kingdom.”

8:52: Awesome, the winner is Melissa Leo. “All that and kissed by Jeremy Irons, too!” she exclaims. She is gasping for breath and admit she almost didn’t take the role because she didn’t think she was old enough to play Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg’s mother. She thanks them very effusively and gives a shoutout to Amy and then notes “Look who they’re bringing up here tonight, Jane and Annette. Not too shabby.” It really great that Hollywood is recognizing great actresses actually over the age of 30.

8:59: Matt Damon has arrived to present the lifetime achievement award to Robert De Niro, joking that since he doesn’t go to movies much, he only heard about De Niro five years ago when he invited him to be in his movie “The Good Shepherd.” The ever-charming Matt adds some humor to the proceedings when he names some of De Niro’s most famous films but quotes other characters’ dialogue. Looking at this montage of De Niro’s work, the only question is why he hasn’t received this award before now.

9:04: Wisely, Matt doesn’t try to follow that montage with any pithy comments, simply saying “Ladies and gentlemen, Robert De Niro,” allowing them to give a most deserved extended standing O. “Thank you, Matt, and I loved you in ‘The Fighter,’” De Niro quips, them comments that it will be his honor to present Matt his eventual lifetime achievement award. He’s thanking the HFPA for announcing the award two months ago “before you had the chance to review ‘Little Fockers.’ I saw those; it’s OK, we all have our jobs to do.” He’s commenting about the symbiotic relationship between the HFPA and the film industry: They make movies and the HFPA gets their pictures taken with the stars.

He’s tossing out jokes and getting bleeped and mentioning the movies that didn’t make it into the prestigious montage, noting “Most of you would be seeing them for the first time. You didn’t even watch the screeners, did you?” He jokes he’s going to be selling a special DVD box set that includes “Jacknife” in the lobby after he poses for pictures with the remaining members of the HFPA.

If such a thing were possible, I love De Niro even more now. Can he host the rest of the show instead of Ricky, who just isn’t as funny this year as I remember him from last year?

9:14: Megan Fox, dressed in a crazy pale pink gown, gets the thankless job of introducing the clip montage for “The Tourist.” Couldn’t happen to a nicer vixen. I guess Angelina and Johnny couldn’t be bothered even though they’re sitting right there and the HFPA went to all that trouble to nominate them.

9:15: Winner Annette Bening is going to present the best film director award, and I’m betting “The Social Network” continues its streak.

Director: Darren Aronofsky, “Black Swan”; David Fincher, “The Social Network”; Tom Hooper, “The King’s Speech”; Christopher Nolan, “Inception”; David O. Russell, “The Fighter.”

9:16: Winner: David Fincher wins a well-deserved prize for “The Social Network.” He’s joking that like everyone else, he wondered how he would be suited for this film since he generally makes pitch-black films about misanthropes and the occasional serial killer film.” He says he’s loathe to acknowledge all the praise the movie has received for fear he will become addicted but “it’s been very nice.” And well deserved.

9:18: Jimmy Fallon and “Mad Men’s” January Jones, who is apparently wearing the scraps of some other star’s pretty red dress, are presenting the best TV comedy or musical series. I’m rooting for BBT.

Series, Musical or Comedy: “30 Rock,” NBC; “The Big Bang Theory,” CBS; “The Big C,” Showtime; “Glee,” Fox; “Modern Family,” ABC; “Nurse Jackie,” Showtime.

9:20: Winner: “Glee.” Bravo to creator Ian Brennan for thanking public schoolteachers. “You don’t get paid like it but you’re doing the most important work in America.”

9:24: Alicia Keyes looks amazing in a flowing red frock as she sends it to the clip montage from “Black Swan.” Mostly great, trippy film with lots of stellar performances.

9:25: Another lovely lady, Halle Berry, seizes the stage to give the award for best actor in a comedy or musical film. It’s a Johnny Depp vs. Johnny Depp category.

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Johnny Depp, “Alice in Wonderland”; Johnny Depp, “The Tourist”; Paul Giamatti, “Barney’s Version”; Jake Gyllenhaal, “Love and Other Drugs”; Kevin Spacey, “Casino Jack.”

9:26: Winner: The Johnnies cancel each other out, and it goes to Paul Giamatti. The censors immediately hold down the button, so he must have said something naughty. Paul notes he is “a little jacked up because he ate five boxes of Godiva chocolate. I’ve never seen so many Godiva chocolates and Halle Berry.” He’s noting he had three wives – “a trio of hotties” – and got to smoke and drink and get paid for it to make the movie. He’s paying tribute to “the great nation of Canada,” where “Barney’s Version” was filmed. I haven’t had the opportunity to see “Barney’s Version,” and I can’t wait to see it because I love Giamatti.

9:33: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is lavishing deserving praise on his award-worthy blockbuster “Inception.” I loved this film just a teeny-tiny bit less than “The Social Network,” but it is awesome.

9:34: It’s always good to see Jeff Bridges, who is going to present the best actress in a film drama award, and Natalie Portman is a lock.

Actress, Drama: Halle Berry, “Frankie and Alice”; Nicole Kidman, “Rabbit Hole”; Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter’s Bone”; Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”; Michelle Williams, “Blue Valentine.”

9:35: Winner: Natalie, whose little baby bump is elegantly draped with a flowing pale pink gown, who says that the most meaningful part of the post-movie experience is getting to spend time with all these great actors and talents. She’s giving a shoutout to her Grandma Berniece and thanking her fiance, Benjamin Millepied, “Black Swan” choreographer who appears in the film saying he wouldn’t want to sleep with her character. “See, what a great actor. He totally wants to sleep with me,” she jokes before referring to Mila “Sweet Lips” Kunis and praising the rest of the cast.

9:39: Ricky is introducing the next two presenters by describing Tom Hanks in glowing terms and adding “and the other is Tim Allen.” The “Toy Story” stars recall when “Ricky Gervais was a slightly chubby but mostly nice comedian. Neither of which he is now.” They’re going to give out the prize for best comedy or musical film, and there may be five nominees but most of them don’t really count.

Picture, Musical or Comedy: “Alice in Wonderland,” “Burlesque,” “The Kids Are All Right,” “Red,” “The Tourist.”

9:41: Winner: “The Kids Are All Right.” And that producer is reeling off all the usual suspects at lightning speed because apparently the HFPA or NBC is cracking the ol’ whip to get this thing done on time. Loyal readers know my favorite kind of awards show is the one that ends on time, only because those that finish early don’t actually exist. If they ever did, they are now sleeping with the dodo birds.

9:46: Ricky is messing with America’s favorite girl next door as he introduces Sandra Bullock, who looks regal in her pink gown off-the-shoulder gown adorned with sparkles but whose unnaturally dark hair makes her look a bit brassy. She’s going to give the best actor in a film drama award, and all the candidates are so deserving. But I think it’s Colin’s year.

Actor, Drama: Jesse Eisenberg, “The Social Network”; Colin Firth, “The King’s Speech”; James Franco, “127 Hours”; Ryan Gosling, “Blue Valentine”; Mark Wahlberg, “The Fighter.”

9:48: Winner: Hurrah for Colin Firth. He’s wryly thanking the HFPA for giving him “I don’t know if you could call this gentle reassurance, but it’s the only thing keeping me from getting a Harley Davidson right now.” He thanks Geoffrey Rush and director Tom Hooper for forming with him a “triangle of man-love,” and he’s singling out Geoffrey Rush who is now “my true friend and geisha girl.” Another totally surreal but entertaining acceptance speech. Is the HFPA spiking these drinks with lighter fluid?

9:54: I don’t know if he qualifies as the “surprise guest” advertised since he walked the red carpet, but it’s great to see the cancer-free Michael Douglas, who gets a huge standing O. “There’s got to be an easier way to get a standing ovation. Thank you. I’m very, very happy to be here,” he comments. He’s giving the best drama film award; here are the options. I’m rooting for “The Social Network.”

Picture, Drama: “Black Swan,” “The Fighter,” “Inception,” “The King’s Speech,” “The Social Network.”

9:56: He barely gets the envelope open before he makes it official: The winner is “The Social Network.” Lots of hugs are going around, and producer Scott Rudin makes it a point to thank Mark Zuckerberg for allowing them to use his life as a metaphor for today’s world. He then gets onto Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield – “the left brain-right brain combination” of the film – for staying in their seats instead of raiding the stage.

9:59: Ricky Gervais is thanking everyone in the room for being sports. And then adds “Thank you to God for making me an atheist.” Good grief, like we haven’t heard that one before. The camera cuts away before we see if he gets struck by a bolt of lightning. Don’t worry, I doubt he’ll be back next year to host. He just wasn’t as funny this year.

Well, that’s the 2011 Golden Globe Awards. There weren’t too many surprises, except for how flat many of Ricky’s jokes fell, but there were lots of shiny dresses worn and lots of shiny trophies handed out.

It was great to see “The Social Network” so awarded, but it’s a bit scary to think that awards show season is just beginning.

But for now, good night and go see a good movie!

-BAM

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Reminder: Golden Globes live-blog tonight here at BAM’s Blog

Just a friendly reminder: The 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards will be handed out starting at 7 p.m. tonight, and NBC will be airing the glitzy proceedings live from Beverly Hills, Calif.

British comedian Ricky Gervais will be hosting for the second year, and he’s sure to set a lively, irreverent tone for the show.

Through Ricky’s barbs, the canned banter, the windy speeches and, yes, the dreaded awards show montages, I’ll be live-blogging the whole affair starting at 7 p.m. here at BAM’s Blog.

Consider this your invitation to follow along with my live-blog. Don’t worry, it’s not black-tie. Come as you are and join me for the first big show of awards season.

-BAM

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Live blog: First American Country Awards

7:00 p.m.: The inaugural American Country Awards are starting with a skit, in which towering country star Trace Adkins refuses to wear meat chaps (a Lady Gaga joke that Brad Paisley already made at last month’s CMA Awards), declines to ride in a tiny car and looks for “trophy girls” with “Honky Tonk Badonkadonks.” Trace is saying he’s not going to do a monologue, adding “It’s a live show, what are they gonna do, fire me?” He’s introducing his pal Blake Shelton, who won male vocalist at “some other awards show.” That also would be the CMAs.

Again, someone please explain to me what we’re doing back here? Oh, yeah, the CMA’s topped the weekly ratings for ABC and Fox wants a piece of that action. Cheesy skit opening is not the way to make awards show greatness.

7:05: OK, so I’m not sold on the ACA’s but it’s a great opportunity to showcase Oklahoma’s country talent, starting with Blake, who is inviting people who don’t like his Tishomingo lifestyle to “Kiss My Country A–.” His “fiancy” Miranda Lambert is singing along in the crowd. It is totally their year.

7:06: Miranda’s got purple feathers on one shoulder of her gown. Wonder which one of them shot the donor bird.

7:07: Bret Michaels, whose played country music in his time, is taking the stage to be the first presenter at the ACA’s. After the year he has survived, he deserves it. He’s going to give out the breakthrough artist award, which I’m betting will go to The Band Perry or Easton Corbin. Here are the nominees:

Breakthrough Artist of the Year
Easton Corbin
Danny Gokey
Jaron and The Long Road To Love
Jerrod Niemann
The Band Perry

7:09: Winner: Easton Corbin wins the first-ever, ever, ever ACA. I thought maybe The Band Perry’s young and enthusiastic fan base might wrangle enough mouse clicks, but no, the neo-traditionalist hitmaker wins it.

OK, that’s new. He’s not even giving a speech. Instead, Bret is kicking it over to the side stage, where Easton and band are performing his breakout hit “A Little More Country Than That.”

Are the ACAs going to eliminate acceptance speeches in favor of just letting the winners perform? Could it be? If that is the case, then the ACAs just may be the best awards show ever.

7:16: Trace is allowing the trophy girls to pat him down because they saw his full-body scan and decided he needed it. “Take your time and be thorough, ladies. I’m very patriotic. God Bless America.” Silly but funny.

7:17: OK, so good news and bad news: Instead of trophies, the winners get silver Fender guitars, which is fairly awesome. The bad news: Instead of giving speeches, they will be interviewed by Nancy O’Dell. So they are giving speeches at her prompting. Sigh. Easton is thanking the usual suspects, with emphasis on the fans who voted for him. It’s a fine speech but I thought we just might be off the hook. No such luck.

7:19: Lady Antebellum is honoring Rascal Flatts with the Country Group of the Decade prize, which honors the band for a decade of awards and hits. Lady A is introducing the band, which includes guitarist Joe Don Rooney of Picher, to perform a medley of their hits, including “These Days,” “God Bless the Broken Road” and “What Hurts the Most.”

Not a big fan of the medleys. Or of upstart new awards shows giving out decade awards. That doesn’t make much sense. Shouldn’t your show have to be around a decade before it honors a band that’s been around for a decade? OK, shouldn’t it at least be on the air for more than 30 minutes before tossing around phrases like “group of the decade”?

7:27: The crowd gives Rascal Flatts a standing ovation. Joe Don Rooney thanks his parents for supporting his crazy music dream and then takes the honorary Fender Strat away, saying “You’re not a guitar player, give me that.” Jay DeMarcus declares “What a way to start our second decade.” Congratulations to the band on receiving the first ACA Decade Award, even if the show hasn’t even been around an hour yet.

7:42: Trace is reminding everyone to remember the troops and kicking it to a live video feed of Camp Arifjan, Kuwait, where he performed recently on an USO tour. So that’s a nice touch.

Apparently, the National Finals Rodeo has been happening in Las Vegas this week, so it’s a perfect opportunity for nominee Jewel and her “sexy cowboy husband” Ty Murray to give out the top single by a male artist prize. Here are the options:

7:33: Joe Nichols, Jennette McCurdy and Jaron & the Long Road to Love are coming from all over the arena and converging onstage to introduce the Grammy-nominated Band Perry. The trio is going to perform it’s No. 1 country song in the land, “If I Die Young.” I’m sort of warming up to this sibling act, but it will be interesting to see if they have more than just one admittedly well-penned song in them.

7:37: Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and his puppet Bubba J are coming on for their first live show update. They’re having mike issues. Since Bubba J is my least favorite Jeff Dunham character, I’m not that sorry. I say let’s get Achmed the Dead Terrorist out for the next one. From what I could catch of the glitchy break just now, it seems that Toby Keith is going to be honored as a video visionary.

7:39: I’m really starting to like Carrie Underwood’s “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” song. It makes me want to see the movie, so it’s done its job. Fox is probably going to run that trailer at least 50 more times tonight.

Single of the Year by a Male Artist
“Do I,” Luke Bryan
“Little More Country Than That,” Easton Corbin
“That’s How Country Boys Roll,” Billy Currington
“Gimme That Girl,” Joe Nichols
“Why Don’t We Just Dance,” Josh Turner

7:45: Winner: Josh Turner’s “Why Don’t We Just Dance.” And here’s the deep-voiced cutie to perform it with his band and a couple of swing dancers. He sounds great. One plus for the ACAs so far is we’re seeing artists that don’t get to play the other country awards show perform. Band Perry only did a snippet of “If I Die Young” at the CMAs, and Josh and Easton are totally new. Rascal Flatts so far are the only performers who usually play these things.

7:52: Nancy says that Josh’s song is the most-played song on country radio this year. Josh is thanking God and his wife, who is home pregnant with his third boy, along with his producers, country radio and the fans. To be specific he thanked country radio for “playing the crap out of this song.” I guess that’s a compliment?

7:55: They’re awkwardly kicking it over to Vegas illusionist Criss Angel, who doesn’t exactly blend, but he’s going to present the Video Visionary Award to someone who is not afraid to take chances, not afraid to poke fun at himself and not afraid to take on controversial topics. Again, it’s another Okie done good: Here comes a medley of Toby Keith’s video highlights, from “As Good As I Once Was,” “Trailerhood,” “I Wanna Talk About Me,” “American Ride,” etc.

Toby’s going to play the song to his latest video “Bullets in the Gun.” I have to say it’s one of my faves of his, and as promised, the cinematic video is playing in the background. And there’s a horn section in the background, too. Huh. Not sure that it goes with the song any more than the Mindfreak goes with this show, but I guess the ACAs are trying to mix it up a bit. Or maybe Toby is. Anyway, the fans in the audience don’t seem to mind the random three-man brass section.

8:00: Toby is thanking his God, the ACAs, his manager and video director Michael Salomon, along with Show Dog-Universal, “my little label back in town.” He’s hoping everyone has fun in Vegas. I still think the whole Fender Strat as trophy concept is cool, and I’m happy for Toby for winning one.

8:05: “We’re running over, shut up,” Trace says. Don’t know if that will work, but it made me laugh. He also notes that he ditched the suit because “this thing seems kinda loose.” He’s now in a leather fringed jacket and black boots and he’s introducing another Okie who “when she hosts, she knows how to behave.” Is is really a good idea to keep referencing other country awards shows?

Anyway, Reba is taking the stage to sing “Turn on the Radio,” and as usual, she can belt it with the best of them. She’s dressed all in black, including some epic knee-high boots. In the audience, Blake and Miranda are singing along, and so is Carrie Underwood. Who doesn’t love this woman?

8:09: Standing O and lots of smiles for Reba. As it should be. Jeff Dunham and Bubba J are back. “This is the best Soul Train Awards ever,” Bubba J declares. “And Reba McEntire is awesome.” Bubba says that when he was talking to Reba backstage, she and her hair looked awful. “Bubba J, you were talking to Carrot Top.” The Carrot doffs his black Stetson, and indeed, his red mop his truly bad. At least he’s a good sport about it.

8:12: Trace is posing with another bevy of beauties, and now he’s kicking it to Uncle Kracker to sing “D— It’s Good to Be Me.” I guess since Kid Rock isn’t here, Uncle K is filling the roll of the pseudo-country, sort-of-Southern-rock performer for the ACAs.

8:14: Wow, they cut that performance way short. It’s a must. They’re more than halfway through and have given out two awards. You know, there are three other country awards shows they could’ve watched and used to model this show.

8:17: Tulsa comic Rodney Carrington is wearing a ginormous sombrero and a fake mustache. He’s cracking jokes about his outfit, but he’s more on the mark with his comments that there are so many country music awards shows because country stars are generally insecure and if they don’t meet for awards every few weeks they just shrivel up and blow away. “And then we’ll be left with nothing but rap and everyone’s tired of that crap.” Rodney’s apparently there not as a sight gag – which is good because that wasn’t that funny – but to introduce Keith Urban performing “Put You in a Song” by satellite from Dallas. This show is already running way long, do we really need to pipe in performances from other locations?

8:22: Jerrod Niemann and Laura Bell Bundy are introducing duo Steel Magnolia to sing “Keep on Loving You.” Again, it’s a good idea for the ACAs to feature performers who don’t usually get a showcase on other awards shows, but you’ve got to give out more than two awards per 90 minutes, especially if you’re aiming for a two-hour show.

8:29: Kaley Cuoco of “Big Bang Theory” is here to introduce the Greatest Hits honoree Alan Jackson using the title of some of his 34 hits. She is repeatedly cracking herself up with the cheesiness of this gimmick. And does Fox have so few hit shows that they’re bringing in network shills from CBS? Sad. Anyway, Alan has taken the stage, which normally would mean an instant improvement of most any country venue, but it’s another medley of “Chasing That Neon Rainbow,” “Daddy Let Me Drive,” “Remember When,” “Good Time,” etc. Again, not a fan of the medley concept.

8:36: At least they are giving some time for Alan to sing “Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning.” It would be pretty tacky to cut this one to one line like “Five O’clock Somewhere.” At least they’re being respectful of the subject matter. And to Alan with the deserved standing O, even if he was forced into medley mode. He can barely give his speech for all the cheers. “I’d just like to say I love America and country music has been America’s real music all these years. And I’m proud to have been a part of that for all these years.” Short and sweet.

8:38: Now, Bubba J is wearing a blond wig and claiming he’s Alan Jackson because he looks just like her. He claims to know so much about Alan from Wiki Leaks and he’s oing that weird eye thing. This is not Jeff Dunham’s night, mostly because he’s working with one of his weakest characters.

8:40: Trace says that the director told him in rehearsals that there wasn’t enough time to include this next award, which he happens to be nominated for. “So we had a discussion, and I’m pleased to report he’s recovering nicely.” He then tells Blake Shelton to get up there because they have won for “Hillbilly Bone.” He then says that because they’re running behind on time, he’s going to do the thank yous for Blake, quickly thanking the fans, God, his label, Miranda and himself “although not in that order, because I was last.” He then tells Blake he can thank one person, so a surprised Blake decides to thank “air.” This is just getting plain silly. I think this is the award they’re talking about, but I’m not totally sure:

Music Video by a Male Artist
“A Little More Country Than That,” Easton Corbin
“Southern Voice,” Tim McGraw
*“Hillbilly Bone,” Blake Shelton with Trace Adkins
“Why Don’t We Just Dance,” Josh Turner
“The Man I Want To Be,” Chris Young

Winner: “Hillbilly Bone.” I think that’s what just happened.

8:45: Lee Ann Womack and a couple of NASCAR guys are presenting best group of the year. Here are the possibles:

Duo/Group Artist of the Year
Lady Antebellum
*Rascal Flatts
Sugarland
The Band Perry
Zac Brown Band

8:47: Winner: Apparently, Lady A has won this award along with single of the year, single by a group, music video by a group, and group of the year, all for “Need You Now.” They’re quickly thanking all the usual suspects for their big year. I guess we’re handing out these awards in batches now.

8:48: And now Trace and his harem are rapidly kicking it to the newest superstar Jason Aldean, who is performing “My Kinda Party.” And he’s got his fellow Georgia boy and tourmate Luke Bryan turning this party into a duet. Sounds good. Notice they’re not cutting that one short.

8:50: Just saw a note come up on the screen that they’re handing out artist of the year awards in the next three minutes. Could this show been paced any worse? Honestly, if they wanted to do a country concert special and give out free Fender Strats along the way, people probably would have jumped on board as willingly to that as to another awards show.

8:52: I guess after this is over, I’ll do a little online research to find out who won the ACAs. Yeah, I can’t believe I just typed that, either.

8:55: Reba, fix it please. She’s giving out the artist of the year award to one of these five nominees. Let’s go Miranda!

Artist of the Year
Lady Antebellum
*Miranda Lambert
Taylor Swift
*Carrie Underwood
Zac Brown Band

8:56: Winner: Carrie Underwood, who looks radiant in the gorgeous red off-one-shoulder gown. Apparently, this is one of six ACAs that the Checotah native is taking home with her. She’s cradling her Strat, and she’s giving a very nice thanks to the fans for supporting the best kind of music in the world. Congratulations to Carrie! Miranda, Blake and Lady A have gotten lots of attention this year, but Carrie has been having a great 2010, too.

8:58: Trace declares “this show ain’t over til I sing” and threatening, um, retribution if they roll the credits while he’s performing “This Ain’t No Love Song.” Cheekily, the producers run a few joking credits, thanking Trace for being such a “cooperative” host and noting that they saw his full-body airport scan and weren’t impressed. They also note that no animals or trophy girls were harmed during this production, though all the country fans who turned into such a poorly planned event definitely were harmed.

9:01: So the credits have actually rolled – yes, while Trace was singing – and the first ACAs are done. Now, I have to go find out who won so I can share that info with you. I think that was the worst awards show ever, but at least it finished pretty much on time. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the ACAs actually made me look forward to the butt-numbing ordeal that is the Oscars. They never finish on time, but at least they don’t resort to such insane measures in order to preserve the 9 o’clock news. Sheesh.

-BAM

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2010 CMA Awards winners

The 44th Annual CMA Awards were broadcast live tonight from the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tenn., with country power couple Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, who live in Tishomingo, dominating with a combined nine wins.

Read my full live blog of the three-hour lovefest by clicking here.

Here is the full list of winners, with those with Oklahoma ties marked with an *:

Entertainer of the Year

Lady Antebellum

*Miranda Lambert

WINNER: Brad Paisley

Keith Urban

Zac Brown Band

Female Vocalist of the Year

WINNER: *Miranda Lambert

Martina McBride

*Reba McEntire

Taylor Swift

*Carrie Underwood

Male Vocalist of the Year

Dierks Bentley

Brad Paisley

WINNER: *Blake Shelton

George Strait

Keith Urban

Album of the Year

(Award goes to Artist and Producer(s))

Need You Now

Lady Antebellum

Produced by Paul Worley and Lady Antebellum

Capitol Records Nashville

*Play On

Carrie Underwood

Produced by Mark Bright and Max Martin

19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville

WINNER: *Revolution

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

Twang

George Strait

Produced by Tony Brown and George Strait

MCA Nashville

Up On The Ridge

Dierks Bentley

Produced by Jon Randall Stewart

Capitol Records Nashville

Musical Event of the Year

(Award goes to each Artist)

*“Bad Angel”

Dierks Bentley featuring Miranda Lambert and Jamey Johnson

Capitol Records Nashville

“Can’t You See”

Zac Brown Band featuring Kid Rock

Southern Ground/Atlantic Records

WINNER: *“Hillbilly Bone”

Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins

Reprise Records

“I’m Alive”

Kenny Chesney with Dave Matthews

BNA Records

“Till The End”

Alan Jackson with Lee Ann Womack

Arista Nashville

Previously Announced in Nashville:

New Artist of the Year

Luke Bryan

Easton Corbin

Jerrod Niemann

Chris Young

WINNER: Zac Brown Band

Vocal Group of the Year

WINNER: Lady Antebellum

Little Big Town

*Rascal Flatts

The Band Perry

Zac Brown Band

Vocal Duo of the Year

*Brooks & Dunn

Joey + Rory

Montgomery Gentry

Steel Magnolia

WINNER: Sugarland

Single of the Year

(Award goes to Artist and Producer(s))

“A Little More Country Than That”

Easton Corbin

Produced by Carson Chamberlain

Mercury Nashville

*“Hillbilly Bone”

Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins

Produced by Scott Hendricks

Reprise Records

WINNER -“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

Produced by Paul Worley and Lady Antebellum

Capitol Records Nashville

*“The House That Built Me”

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

*“White Liar”

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

Song of the Year

(Award goes to Songwriter(s))

“A Little More Country Than That”

Rory Lee Feek, Don Poythress, and Wynn Varble

“Need You Now”

Dave Haywood, Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott, and Josh Kear

WINNER: “The House That Built Me”

Tom Douglas and Allen Shamblin

“Toes”

Zac Brown, Wyatt Durrette, John Driskell Hopkins, and Shawn Mullins

*“White Liar”

Miranda Lambert and Natalie Hemby

Music Video of the Year

(Award goes to Artist and Director)

*“Hillbilly Bone”

Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins

Directed by Roman White

“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

Directed by David McClister

WINNER: *“The House That Built Me”

Miranda Lambert

Directed by Trey Fanjoy

“Water”

Brad Paisley

Directed by Jim Shea

*“White Liar”

Miranda Lambert

Directed by Chris Hicky

Musician of the Year

Paul Franklin – Steel Guitar

Dann Huff – Guitar

Brent Mason – Guitar

WINNER: Mac McAnally – Guitar

Randy Scruggs – Guitar

-BAM

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Live blog: 2010 CMA Awards

7:00: Checotah Carrie Underwood just drove up in all black to match her classic convertible and is opening the show with a feisty rendition of her “Songs Like This.” Love the red heels and love that her co-host Brad Paisley is doing the guitar duties on this opener. These two are pretty much a sure bet for a fun opening, so kudos to the CMAs so far.

7:02: The opener gets a little bigger with entertainer of the year nominee Keith Urban coming out for a little banjo action. So far, you can’t help but like it.

7:03: This may sound geeky but I love the 44th Annual CMA Awards logo with the interlocking 44 forming the M. I’m a font nerd, I suppose.

7:04: Good grief that was fast. Carrie already is on her second outfit. She changed during the intro and now she’s in a short silver dress with a black flowery decoration on one shoulder. The co-hosts, who are in their third year of this, are singing a little ditty to the tune of the “Beverly Hillbillies” theme about Nashville’s flood barely making the news because of the BP oil spill. “Thanks BP,” she says. “You’re welcome,” he replies. “You’re such a dork.” Now, they’re begging for Gwyneth Paltrow’s autograph; the Oscar winner is going to be singing tonight to tie in with her upcoming film “Country Strong.” They’re seguing into riffing on Tim McGraw’s acting career, Dolly Parton’s, um, assets (always a favorite country joke, particularly with Brad’s love of ornery guy humor), and Brett Favre and Tiger Woods’ indiscretions.

7:09: Well, there’s something you don’t hear every day. Brad is pretending to confuse Lady Antebellum with Lady Gaga and singing a country version of the latter. Wow. That was nearly as weird as her meat suit. Oh, there it is: As Carrie tries to correct him, he asks “Are you at least going to wear your meat suits?”

7:10: Yikes, that last joke might have been a little out of bounds. Brad apologizes that “Modern Family” isn’t on tonight. “We don’t have an adorable middle-aged couple of men – at least not since Brooks & Dunn broke up.” Kix’s grin looked a bit fixed.

7:11: “Extreme Makeover Home Edition” host Ty Pennington, looking slicked-back and handsome in his suit, and LeAnn Rimes are here to promote the Nashville edition of Sunday’s “EMHE” and present the first award of the night, single of the year. Here are the options:

Single of the Year

(Award goes to Artist and Producer(s))

“A Little More Country Than That”

Easton Corbin

Produced by Carson Chamberlain

Mercury Nashville

*“Hillbilly Bone”

Blake Shelton featuring Trace Adkins

Produced by Scott Hendricks

Reprise Records

“Need You Now”

Lady Antebellum

Produced by Paul Worley and Lady Antebellum

Capitol Records Nashville

*“The House That Built Me”

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

*“White Liar”

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

Will Miranda Lambert, who has a leading nine noms, win her first-ever CMA Award? C’mon, it’s her 27th birthday; she needs a trophy!

7:13: Nope. It’s Lady A’s “Need You Now.” Not really a surprise, but with 2 nominations in the category, Miranda had great odds. Aw, Lady A is letting their producer speak first so he won’t get the evil get-off-the-stage music. Now, the band is thanking God and Charles Kelley is making it a point to thank his brother Josh for making him move to Nashville six years ago. I saw on the black carpet that Josh and wife Katherine Heigl are here for their first CMAs.

7:17: The best-selling country group of the decade, Rascal Flatts, which features Joe Don Rooney of Picher, is taking the stage to perform “Why Wait.” This is the first single off their new album “Nothing Like This,” dropping Tuesday. Love the wedding-theme backdrop with all the 3D dice, diamond rings and poker chips. These guys do some crazy-good harmonizing. But I like it better when Joe Don gets to really rock a guitar solo. Ah, well, there’s sure to be another country music awards show in a couple of weeks. (I’m not even kidding.)

7:21: Kellie Pickler and her two “sexy backup singers” Jerrod Niemann and Luke Bryan, both dressed in sharp black, are her to present song of the year. Come on, Miranda!!

Song of the Year

(Award goes to Songwriter(s))

“A Little More Country Than That”

Rory Lee Feek, Don Poythress, and Wynn Varble

“Need You Now”

Dave Haywood, Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott, and Josh Kear

“The House That Built Me”

Tom Douglas and Allen Shamblin

“Toes”

Zac Brown, Wyatt Durrette, John Driskell Hopkins, and Shawn Mullins

*“White Liar”

Miranda Lambert and Natalie Hemby

7:22: Winner: “The House That Built Me.” Well, it was close. Miranda is thanking the guys for writing such a great song. It’s interesting how the song reflects the real-life circumstances of her childhood. Tom Douglas is wearing his dad’s tuxedo. They’re saying some sweet things, but they get the go-away music. It’s interesting that Miranda’s sweetie originally got the chance to cut the song and passed it to her. It’s also interesting that Miranda just kind of beat herself in that category.

7:24: Carrie is wearing yet another outfit, a pale pink dress with an intricately flowered skirt. Brad points out that it’s Carrie and hubby Mike Fisher’s four-month anniversary. “Four months of celebrity marriage, how do you do it?” Brad asks. She attributes it to love “and the fact that he lives in another country.” In honor of Blake and Miranda’s engagement, they’re singing a little ditty to “Golden Ring” to mock the ring Blake got Miranda. When Carrie comments that it’s actually really big and beautiful, Brad can’t help adding “that’s what she said.” How can anyone this juvenile be so charming? It’s the magic of Paisley.

7:25: So all that was to led up to introducing Blake Shelton, who is on a platform in the middle of the crowd to sing his raucous No. 1 hit “It’s All About Tonight.” The suit doesn’t fit the song, but that is one handsome fella in it, so who cares?

7:33: Carrie tells us that Miranda Lambert is already a winner tonight. That’s good, but hey, CMAs, you want to actual hand out the awards on your awards show? Yeesh. Anyway, she’s rocking a short black dress with silver fringed shirt and rocking her cover of John Prine’s “That’s the Way that the World Goes ‘Round.” I love this song on her album, but it’s honestly not her best performance. It started out a little weak, with the band drowning her out a bit, but she recovered a bit before the end. Love the silver streamers that match her skirt blowing in the wind machine, though. I’m trying to be nice because she’s one of my faves, but I think she must be nervous because she can do better.

7:36: Little Jimmy Dickens is there in a snorkel to serve as an early warning system in case of more Nashville flooding. That early warning will be an adorably shrill scream. There apparently nothing that Little Jimmy won’t do for Brad Paisley, and there’s precious little that Brad won’t do for a laugh. He’s pretending to bask in the glory of Carrie’s introduction of the King of Country Music, George Strait. May I just add that George and Reba are bringing their tour to OKC in January. I. Cannot. Wait! King George is singing his “The Breath You Take,” which reminds me of a downbeat version of Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying.” Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not a fan of this song. Anyway, George always sounds great, so par for the course there.

7:40: Darius Rucker is pondering “How do you follow George Strait?” Well, Darius is going to give out an award, best new artist, the honor he won last year. (BTW, interviewed Darius last week about his upcoming Tulsa tour date. Look for that soon.) If Zac Brown Band doesn’t score this one, I will be shocked.

New Artist of the Year

Luke Bryan

Easton Corbin

Jerrod Niemann

Chris Young

Zac Brown Band

7:42: WINNER: Zac Brown Band. Yep. Zac is thanking their wives, team and everyone who believes in them. The rest of the guys are thanking parents, country radio, etc. Love the ZBB and looking forward to their performance with Alan Jackson. The last couple haven’t really done it for me.

7:47: ZBB is back to perform “As She’s Walking Away,” their sixth No. 1 country hit, which is just remarkable. The Atlanta band just won best new artist, and they’re nominated for entertainer of the year, too. I think I heard on the black carpet that the last time that happened was for Ricky Skaggs. Wow. The performance is good, but Alan Jackson just walked out to big applause and made it 100 times better at least. No slam on ZBB, Alan Jackson makes so many things better, like country music and Christmastime and mustaches. He’s fairly terrific.

7:51: Kenny Chesney is going to perform his ESPN tie-in/ode to football “Boys of Fall,” but not before we see a little gridiron video. It’s not my favorite of his, but his tanness sounds good on this pigskin ballad.

7:55: Just a quick note: Lots of media outlets are reporting that Miranda won song of the year. If you read the awards categories, song of the year goes to the songwriters. Miranda didn’t write “The House That Built Me,” though it mirrors actual events in her childhood. She just went onstage with the songwriters to thank them for the song.

7:57: CMT.com is reporting that Blake, Miranda and Mac McAnally are early winners at the CMAs. Lambert and director Trey Fanjoy won the video of the year win for “The House That Built Me,” which she heard about on the black carpet. Shelton and Adkins shared the honor in the musical event category for “Hillbilly Bone.” So both Blake and Miranda get their first CMA win tonight. McAnally is getting his third straight win as musician of the year. Congratulations to those three fine folks, who don’t get to have their awards moment on this awards show.

8:01: Leighton Meester, one of the stars of the forthcoming film “Country Strong” (I’m going to be typing that at least a dozen more times tonight), is introducing bona fide music star Taylor Swift, who is performing “Back to December,” off her third album “Speak Now,” which has sold more than 1 million copies in just a week. With her blond hair up and that dark red lipstick, she looks much older, at least 21 or 22. Sigh. Our little Taylor’s growing up, and at this point, she’s one of the few sure things in the music biz. Sorry, Taylor haters, it is a fact. She’s sitting at a piano in a long silvery gown while fake snow falls and an orchestra plays. She sounds solid, and it’s a romantic, lovely setup that matches the ballad. BUT we’ve seen Lady A do practically the same thing. And I have to admit that my inner teenager misses her flinging her blond tresses around. Again, could be just me.

8:05: Carrie Underwood, who for some reason has donned a wadded OD green Army blanket, is introducing the dynamic duo of Sugarland to perform “Stuck Like Glue.” Brace yourselves for the controversial reggae interlude. Honestly, it’s not that big a deal, folks. I mean, I know it’s not pure country, but except for King George and maybe Easton Corbin, hardly anything is in this show and genre. It’s not like they’re adding reggae to a Hank Williams song. In spite all the fuss, I have to say their album “Incredible Machine” is growing on me. I was unconvinced at first, but I especially like hearing more of Kristian singing. But this little setup is a bit weird (even for them), with Jennifer Nettles imitating a music-box ballerina/dancer marionette complete with tutu and jerky dance moves. Kristian Bush is rocking a top hat, but his playful taste in headgear is a given at this point. Oh, there goes the tutu, and here comes the reggae. They’re great entertainers and showmen, and this is a fun performance.

8:10: Here comes Sara Evans with fresh (and handsome) faces Chris Young and Easton Corbin. Good to see Sara Evans back even though she’s violating my basic-black-is-boring rule. They’re going to present vocal group. Here are the noms, and I’m betting another Lady A win here.

Vocal Group of the Year

Lady Antebellum

Little Big Town

*Rascal Flatts

The Band Perry

Zac Brown Band

8:12: Yep, Lady A’s big year continues. Sorry, Rascal Flatts. I adore Hillary Scott’s dramatic, long red gown, but that sucker is tight in the back. Love Dave Haywood remembering to not only thank the fans but also complimenting all the other noms. “We love you all and it’s an honor to be in the category with you.” Classy.

8:18: The dreamy and talented Keith Urban returns to the stage. The Aussie has a new album coming out next week, and he’s performing the bouncy new single “Put You in a Song.” Loved the rocking guitar solo, but it was way too short. By the way, Keith and wife Nicole Kidman said on the black carpet that their daughter sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” in the studio during Daddy’s recording sessions. Say it with me now: Awww.

8:21: “There is and only ever will be one Reba!” exclaims Carrie (whose sassy white and orange frock is a vast improvement over whatever that green thing was). Reba, who also gets a pass on BAM’s boring-black rule in her trademark sparkling gown, is crooning her cover of Beyonce’s “If I Were a Boy.” Is there nothing this woman can’t do? I would happily listen to this fellow Okie sing toothpaste jingles for two hours. I love the way she quietly ratchets up the intensity on this pop ballad. BTW, did I mention that Reba and George are coming to OKC in January?!?

8:26: Just curious: Who decided Kid Rock was a country artist? Was there a committee meeting, an Oscar-style industry campaign, a payoff made somewhere? I’m not trying to put down Kid Rock, but he’s like an obligatory addition to these country awards shows and he’s just not country to me, even by the very broad definition we’re using at this point. But since I just defended Sugarland’s reggae interlude, I can’t protest too much.

8:31: Still love that streaky orange and white gown that Carrie’s rocking. She’s speaking about the dangers of identity theft next to an unusually quiet Brad Paisley, who has his white cowboy hat suspiciously low on his forehead. Of course, that’s actually NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon and this is setup to make fun of the similarities in appearance between the two men. “Everyone knows Brad Paisley lip syncs,” Gordon declares. “Fine, give me the keys to the #48 car and you can stay,” Brad replies. “I drive the 24 car.” “Exactly.” Silly but fun.

8:34: This is the performance I’ve been waiting on: Jason Aldean and “American Idol” Kelly Clarkson are blasting through “Don’t You Wanna Stay,” their passionate duet off his new album. She’s violating the no-basic-black rule, but I’m totally going to let it slide because they sound terrific. I just want to add that it’s a crying shame that Jason has ZERO nominations tonight. Really? You cannot be serious. Hitmakers like him should be praised for staying with the indie labels that brought them to the party. And the duet gets a well-deserved standing O, and I think that’s tears of joy coming from Kelly.

8:36: Little Big Town are showing off their amazing harmonizing skills singing a bit of Taylor’s “You Belong With Me.” Quite honestly, they’re kind of making Taylor sound bad with this little interlude. Why are they not performing on this show again? Because it’s some of the best downright singing we’ve heard all night. But no, they’re just introducing album of the year, and I am rooting so hard for Miranda.

Album of the Year

(Award goes to Artist and Producer(s))

Need You Now

Lady Antebellum

Produced by Paul Worley and Lady Antebellum

Capitol Records Nashville

*Play On

Carrie Underwood

Produced by Mark Bright and Max Martin

19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville

*Revolution

Miranda Lambert

Produced by Frank Liddell and Mike Wrucke

Columbia Nashville

Twang

George Strait

Produced by Tony Brown and George Strait

MCA Nashville

Up On The Ridge

Dierks Bentley

Produced by Jon Randall Stewart

Capitol Records Nashville

8:38: WOOT! Miranda’s “Revolution” wins! She’s stomping excitedly in place, sending the fringe on her sassy white dress flying as she hugs Blake. “‘Revolution’ has truly caused a revolution in my life this year,” she declares. “It’s my baby. Thanks for loving it too.” She’s speaking quickly and giving her producers time to speak without worrying about the go-away music, which starts to creep in anyway. I love Miranda, and “Revolution” was on my top 10 albums list last year. This is her first album of the year from the CMAs; she’s won the title twice at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Congrats to her!

8:40: Carrie is introducing “Detroit’s No. 1 cowboy,” and it’s Kid Rock at the piano. See what I mean? How did he get that title? And he’s not staying at that piano for long, I know that. Yep, it’s turning into a rock song, “Born Free,” from his forthcoming album, titled, yes, “Born Free.” The fringe on his jacket – and fringe is definitely in here tonight – is the most country thing about this performance. It’s not a bad rock song, but it barely qualifies as Southern rock let alone country.

8:49: Brad Paisley has promised to debut a new song tonight, and I’m looking forward to it. He’s starting acoustic but switching to electric as he pays tribute to country music with its themes about patriotism, rural living and Jesus. It’s even pulling in some lyrics from several of the big ones like “Amarillo By Morning,” “Stand By Your Man” and “God Bless the USA.” Awesome tribute and great performance. He is an outstanding entertainer, and I get the feeling he’s going to take that award home tonight. Love his guitar solo, but again too short. I want a drawn-out smoking solo! But he’s getting a worthy standing O.

8:54: Reba’s TV daughter Joanna Garcia is coming out with Jeff Gordon. She’s pitching Reba’s upcoming guest spot on her show “Better With You.” Yes, it’s another shameless pitch. Jeff is there to tell about Chevy’s participation in the Wounded Warrior Project. He was not meant to read from a prompter.

Now they’re presenting vocal duo. Will Brooks & Dunn get one last win?

Vocal Duo of the Year

*Brooks & Dunn

Joey + Rory

Montgomery Gentry

Steel Magnolia

Sugarland

8:56: Nope. Sugarland is getting their fourth win the category. Kristin is there with his daddy for the first time, so he’s thanking him. “You were right, play guitar.” Jennifer also is thanking country radio for continuing to grow with them and play their music. Well, sort of, anyway.

8:57: News flash: The CMAs are finally telling us that Miranda won video of the year. Some awards show, huh?

9:01: Dave Haywood is at the piano as Lady A takes the stage for their performance of “Hello World.” It’s not my favorite from their sophomore effort, but Charles sure sounds dreamy crooning about that cute little chocolate-face girl. These guys are just so darn likeable would can’t help but appreciate them. Although I’m not fond of Hillary’s pant suit, which looks like something a green-skinned dancer would wear in Jabba the Hut’s palace. (That was quite possibly the nerdiest sci-fi reference I’ve ever made in a country music live blog.)

9:07: “One of the finest singers on Earth,” as Carrie calls her, is coming” Martina McBride. She is breaking the lackluster hair, boring black and poofy sleeves rules. But she’s going to name the top male vocalist, so here goes. Go Blake!

Male Vocalist of the Year

Dierks Bentley

Brad Paisley

*Blake Shelton

George Strait

Keith Urban

9:09: WOW! Blake actually got it! I think he’s crying. Is he crying? He’s getting emotional anyway. Reba looks like she’s about to cry, and Miranda is smiling wide enough to split her face. “I love you, too, and I mean that,” he says as a random fan shouts their affection. “That’s about 34 years worth of steps for me there, y’all.” Reba and Miranda are among the folks he’s thanking, and he’s also taking time to thank songwriter/producer Bobby Braddock. With the exception of his ornery Twitter feed, he’s a pretty classy Okie. I am just thrilled for him. What a night and year for him and Miranda.

9:10: We’ve introduced every person on this show, but we don’t bother with who might be the newest artist on the roster? The Band Perry is singing their hit “If I Die Young.” But they are there for a reason – to name the CMA radio winners. I’m still undecided about The Band Perry. The song is kind of growing on me, but they still look like they should be throwing a tantrum about San Francisco outlawing Happy Meal toys.

9:17: “You know, after the night Blake and Miranda are having, I think we can expect a baby in nine months,” quipped Brad. That one made me laugh out loud so hard. Best line of the night.

9:18: It’s that time of the awards show: It’s Carrie Underwood big-dress time! This year’s model is a billowing lavender floor-length number with an off-the-shoulder bodice and an approximately quarter-mile-long skirt adorned with lots of sparkles. She’s singing her latest hit “Mama’s Song,” while the video starring her mom Carole and hubby Mike Fisher plays in the background. I liked the a cappella opening of this emotional little song, and of course, Carrie can just plain sing. She’s really making this a shining moment.

9:22: Another great Brad funny: He’s waving his hands at the billows of stage smoke that’s pouring in and says “Very calmly evacuate the building.” Now, he’s praising Dierks Bentley’s bluegrass album “Up on the Ridge,” joking “Bluegrass grows wild in his hometown of Phoenix, Ariz.” I don’t care where he’s fun, Dierks and this album are awesome. He and his band are singing and sawing through the title track. I will come with you tonight where moonlight drifts into my eyes. Yes, I will, Dierks Bentley.

9:31: Here comes an Academy Award-winning actress. Nope, it’s not quite time for Gwyneth. Sissy Spacek, who played Loretta Lynn in “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” and she’s going to introduce Loretta’s 50th anniversary as a recording artist tribute. “She didn’t need an actress to turn her into a great character. She was born one,” great compliment. “Loretta Lynn defines downhome excellence.”And now Miranda and Sheryl Crow are going to pay homage by singing “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” Miranda sounds fantastic this time around. Maybe she just wants to do right by Loretta or maybe her earlier nerves are out, but she’s really redeeming her earlier less-than-stellar performance. And Sheryl is doing a lovely job, too. They really sound good together, and here comes the non-surprise but still welcome grand entrance of Loretta herself. She’s got one of her trademark grand gowns on and she’s crooning along with the youngsters. The standing O is very appropriate here, because this is a great moment. Loretta looks really touched, and Reba is getting teary again, too.

9:36: Sissy, who seems to be having a surprisingly tough time with the canned dialogue here, and Loretta are going to present the award for top female vocalist. Okies have three girls in this hunt:

Female Vocalist of the Year

*Miranda Lambert

Martina McBride

*Reba McEntire

Taylor Swift

9:38: She is the golden girl tonight: Miranda. She’s embracing Blake. “I don’t know what’s going on. I told Blake we need to start going to church.” She gets choked up as she thanks Loretta and Reba for paving the way and promises to keep going on for all the women coming up in country music.

9:44: After Gwyneth Paltrow makes her country music debut, Carrie’s going to dance in the Nutcracker! Quick, let Jennifer Nettles grab her tutu, too! Brad’s commenting “Here’s something you don’t see every day: An Oscar-winning actress with a country star. Unless you’re Keith Urban and then you can’t avoid it.” Gwyneth, who is starring in the upcoming film “Country Song,” is singing the title theme, with Country Music Hall of Famer Vince Gill playing guitar and backing her up. She looks a bit nervous, but she’s got top-notch backup. Unfortunately, somebody’s mike is a bit hot. But she’s pulling off the vocals, and she’s even playing a bit of acoustic guitar to go along with it. I don’t believe I’d give back the Oscar or anything, but she can hold her head up. The audience is giving her a standing O, so that’s a nice gesture.

BTW, you have to hear what legendary songwriter and fellow Oklahoma native Jimmy Webb has to say about Vince. I’ll have that story Friday. Vince is amazing. Next year, let’s get him up front.

9:49: Ooh, ooh, we’re getting a preview of Carrie’s new song for the cinematic sequel “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” I was hoping to hear a snippet of “There’s a Place for Us,” and, hey, wish granted. I think I like it. It’s ballad Carrie instead of sassy Carrie, which is to be expected, considering the material.

9:53: Tim McGraw is comign out to present the final and top award, entertainer of the year. Could it be Miranda? Maybe Brad? Will we actually finish on time?!

Entertainer of the Year

Lady Antebellum

*Miranda Lambert

Brad Paisley

Keith Urban

Zac Brown Band

9:54: And the winner is … Brad Paisley! Well, I was rooting for ‘Ran, but I can’t help but be happy for Brad. He looks a bit choked up, and his actress wife Kimberly Williams-Paisley is hugging Nicole Kidman. “My hero Little Jimmy Dickens has a saying, if you see a turtle on a fencepost, he had some help getting up there. I feel like a turtle on a fencepost right now.” His voice is breaking as he praises the fans and talks about how his late grandpa wanted him to learn to play guitar because it would get him through hard times. He’s thanking everybody on the planet, even after they start playing the buh-bye music.

If you want to see Brad in person, Okies, he’s playing Tulsa’s BOK Center Nov. 20. And with that dress, Carrie is halfway to her dream of becoming a sugar plum fairy! No, not a fan of that last dress, but I’m a fan of award shows finishing on time!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this live blog of the CMA Awards! Look for the story on the Oklahoma winners, a full list of the victors and photos of the event (yes, even Carrie’s ballet dress) tonight and Thursday. Good night!

-BAM

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