From Friday’s Weekend Look section of The Oklahoman.
“Cinematic Titanic Presents Blood of the Vampires”
The movie mockers of Cinematic Titanic take on a real challenge with the dreadful “Blood of the Vampires,” an alleged horror film that manages dull, cheesy and offensive but never accomplishes scary.
Former “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ riffers Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Mary Joel Pehl and J. Elvis Weinstein rapidly toss out references to Twitter, “I Love Lucy,” “Sesame Street” and more in the most successful installment in their new DVD series.
“Blood of the Vampires” offers plenty of cinematic awfulness to ridicule: The 1966 film is set in 19th century Mexico, performed by Filipino actors and badly dubbed into English. As Weinstein quips, “That’s always a good sign, when English is your movie’s third language.”
The movie centers on the wealthy Escodero family. Dying patriarch Don Enrique Escodero (Johnny Montero) orders his family’s mansion to be burned upon his passing, much to the consternation of his grown children Eduardo (Eddie Garcia) and Leonore (Amalia Fuentes).
Dad’s motives become clear when they learn their late mother (Mary Walter) isn’t really dead but is a vampire their father keeps chained in the basement. (Why Dad doesn’t just stake Mom through the heart isn’t explained.) Unfortunately, Mom manages to turn Eduardo into a wimpy vampire, who then transforms his girlfriend, several servant girls and, in a rather incestuous manner, his sister.
The horrid plot is quip-worthy enough, but the gang gets the most hilarity out of the film’s racist overtones. All the servant characters wear messy blackface, prompting Hodgson to joke, “I’ve gotta be careful not to sweat off my ethnicity.”
- Brandy McDonnell