Live blog: 80th annual Academy Awards

7:30 p.m.: So, the cutesy opening sequence concept is ripped off from that commercial about the Heisman trophy, when all the college mascots are trying to catch the truck hauling the trophy. And let’s just note that half of the movie characters and stars represented in this fake chase never had a prayer of getting nominated for an Oscar.

7:33: Jon Stewart just referred to the Academy Awards ceremony as “makeup sex” for Hollywood after the writers’ strike. There’s a bizarre mental image I didn’t need. But he’s got a point, would it kill Vanity Fair to invite some writers to their Oscar party?

7:34: OK, Jon is delivering the goods in the monologue segment. (No surprise there.) He just asked if the town needs a hug because of all the psychopathic killers represented in the nominees. “Thank God for teen pregnancy.” Great line. Even better, the line about Hilary Clinton referring to “Away From Her” as the “feel-good movie of the year.”

7:37: Jon keeps hitting it: I love the line about Norbit’s noms. “Too often, the Oscars ignore movies that are bad.”

7:39: OK, wrap it up Jon. The lines are getting lamer, and we’re meandering into the politics arena. I can hear political drivel without even wanting to any time. And it’s going to take Hollywood hours to get these dozen or so awards given out and their winners chased off stage with obnoxious music.

7:41: Wow, we’re actually going to present awards now. Jennifer Garner is announcing the nominees for costume designer, which are:

“Across the Universe” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky
“Atonement” (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran
“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Marit Allen
“Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood

And the winner is:

Alexandra Byrne, “Elizabeth: The Golden Age,” getting her first Oscar on her fourth nom. And I vote we give her a bonus Oscar for her brief and to-the-point acceptance speech, probably the last one of those of the night.

However, I would have preferred that “Atonement” win; Keira Knightley’s green gown was a character unto itself.

7:48: Oh, boy, a montage already. As Brian Regan would say, “I was wishing for one of those; wishing on a star.” It was about what you would expect: Some of the moments were funny, some were weird, some were beautiful and some were just plain lame. But did we really need to hear once again the most overplayed song on planet Earth? (“My Heart Will Go On,” come on, keep up.)

7:52: Just seeing Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway together makes me laugh. It really makes me want to see “Get Smart.” And they’re really funny together. I love the tongue-in-cheek idea that these movies are actually serious documentaries, and Steve’s dry wit is perfect for delivering it. Great script, glad the writers are back. (And they managed to make my point about “Ratatouille”: Is this movie about egregious health code violations in rat-infested Paris restaurants?)

They’re here to announce best animated feature, and the noms are:

“Persepolis” (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
“Surf’s Up” (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

And the winner is: “Ratatouille.” No surprise, but I was rooting for “Surf’s Up.” I didn’t care much for “Ratatouille” when I saw it in theaters, but I rented it today because I promised some of my fellow critics I would give it another look.

No surprise, but not my fave.

7:56: Here comes Katherine Hiegl, looking fantastic in her red gown but very nervous, to give the best makeup award. Here are the noms:

“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald
“Norbit” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount): Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

And the winner is Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald for ”La Vie en Rose,” getting their first Oscar. Great choice. They did a great job in transforming Marion Cotillard into Edith Piaf. And thank heaven “Norbit” didn’t win, the Oscars have enough credibility issues after that “80 years of Oscar history” montage.

8: “Enchanted” star Amy Adams takes the stage to perform “Happy Working Song,” one of the three songs from the Disney fantasy to be nominated for best original song. I haven’t seen the movie, but the song was really cute and clever. And wow, Amy can really sing.

8:07: Dwayne “He’s not ‘The Rock’ anymore” Johnson is here to introduce the nominees for best visual effects. (None of which matches the feat of turning a pro wrestler into an actor that gets to present at the Oscars.)

Here’s the visual effects nominees:

“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Scott Farrar, Scott Benza

And the winner is: “The Golden Compass,” Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood, getting their first Oscar. The speech was a bit hyper, but at least it was short.

8:10: Cate Blanchett is wearing a fabulous purple dress and announcing the noms for best art direction. Here they are:

“American Gangster” (Universal): Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino
“Atonement” (Focus Features): Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
“Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

And the winner is:

“Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schiavo both  just got their second Oscars. And they are amazingly well deserved. Their work made that movie, without their gloomy, blood-spattered vision, it wouldn’t have captured even a portion of the play’s tone.

8:15: Jon’s quip about Cate Blanchett playing a bulldog in “No Country” and playing him right now was great. But seeing Cuba Gooding Jr. winning his Oscar was sad when you think that last year his big role was in “Daddy Day Camp.” Anyway, here comes Jennifer Hudson with the noms for supporting actor:

Casey Affleck in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.)
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Charlie Wilson’s War” (Universal)
Hal Holbrook in “Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)
Tom Wilkinson in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

And the winner is: Javier Bardem. He was the favorite for a reason: Just watching the clip of his performance in “No Country for Old Men” gave me chills. His speech was funny and classy: He thanked the Coens for putting one of the worst haircuts in movie history on him, shared the award with Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones and the oft-overlooked Kelly Macdonald and thanked his cute little ol’ mom in Spanish.

8:22: Jon just joked that the Oscars would have featured even more montages if the writers’ strike hadn’t ended. That’s even scarier than Javier’s “No Country” cut. But then they had to show one!! Arrggh!

8:23: OK, stop it with the stupid montages. Or I’m going to start begging for a new writers’ strike.

8:25: Keri Russell, who has a pretty face and lovely silver dress but a toothpick figure, is introducing a Harlem choir to perform “Raise It Up” from “August Rush.” It’s one of the original song noms and it’s the official “inspirational” entry for the year. But it’s a good song, great performance, especially by that young soloist.

8:29: It’s great to see Owen Wilson whole and healthy; he’s here to present best live-action short. The noms are:

“At Night” A Zentropa Entertainments 10 Production: Christian E. Christiansen and Louise Vesth
“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin
“Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)” (Premium Films) A Karé Production: Philippe Pollet-Villard
“Tanghi Argentini” (Premium Films) An Another Dimension of an Idea Production: Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans
“The Tonto Woman” A Knucklehead, Little Mo and Rose Hackney Barber Production: Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown

And the winner is: “Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets).” Philippe Pollet-Villard won on his first try and gave a very gracious speech even though he doesn’t really speak English.

8:32: OK, I enjoyed “Bee Movie,” but enough already. I’m tired of seeing that smart-alecky, Jerry Seinfeld-voiced bee everywhere. And is he introducing another stinking montage?

Oh, he’s also introducing the noms for animated short. Doesn’t excuse it, but at least it’s not totally pointless.

So, the noms are:

“I Met the Walrus” A Kids & Explosions Production: Josh Raskin
“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski
“Même les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)” (Premium Films) A BUF Compagnie Production Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse
“My Love (Moya Lyubov)” (Channel One Russia) A Dago-Film Studio, Channel One Russia and Dentsu Tec Production Alexander Petrov
“Peter & the Wolf” (BreakThru Films) A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman
 And the winner is: “Peter & the Wolf.” Suzie Templeton (carrying on the red trend) and Hugh Welchman won on their first try, too.

8:35: After a montage — good grief — of clips from past winners, Alan Arkin, looking amazingly young and fit, is introducing the supporting actress nominees:

Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)
Ruby Dee in “American Gangster” (Universal)
Saoirse Ronan in “Atonement” (Focus Features)
Amy Ryan in “Gone Baby Gone” (Miramax)
Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

And the Oscar goes to:

Tilda Swinton for “Michael Clayton.” I can’t believe she looks surprised, though, because she was fantastic in that movie. She wasn’t my pick — I thought Amy Ryan was tops for “Gone Baby Gone,” even though the clip they showed wasn’t her best work in the film — but Tilda was amazing.

And her speech: Um, well, that was the most hilarious and bizarre speech of the last few years. Did she really just promise to give her statuette to her American agent not only because he helped her break through in the USA but also because his face and buttocks resemble Oscar? Waaay too much info. I’m not even sure exactly what that means, and I don’t want to know.

But I loved her crack at George Clooney, praising his dedication to wearing the rubber Batman suit with the nipples under his suit every day on the set. Priceless, and of course, George was a good sport about it.

8:44: Geez, Jessica Alba. You’re pregnant; you haven’t been transformed into a blue whale. That plum-colored dress is the size of a Boy Scout tent. But, beautiful plumage, nothing says sophisticated like a violet feather boa sewn to the top of your dress. She says she gave the technical Oscars at a separate ceremony. I bet some of the movie nerds at that ceremony fused several synapses getting their awards from her.

8:46: Josh Brolin and James McAvoy are quite cute together, very handsome in black and white. At least Josh Brolin had the guts to admit his Nicholson impression stunk.

They’re introducing the noms for adapted screenplay. Here’s the list:

“Atonement” (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
“Away from Her” (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

The winner: Joel and Ethan Coen. No surprise there. That will match nicely with their best original screenplay for “Fargo.” And I bet they’re not done tonight. Plus, bonus points for a short speech, including some nice praise for Cormac McCarthy.

8:50: And the award for lamest montage goes to the behind-the-scenes look into the voting process. And the competition was fierce.

8:53: Preteen superheroine Miley Cyrus just introduced Tony Award-winning Oklahoma native Kristin Chenoweth and singer Marlon Saunders to sing “That’s How You Know,” another original song nominee from “Enchanted.” Kristin, who hails from Broken Arrow, sounds terrific, and her big voice and perky attitude are a perfect match for the chipper song. But what is she wearing? Is her off-white dress covered with wadded up Kleenexes or is just me? And capes are never a good idea unless you’re Superman.

9: All hail the Apatow crowd! Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill probably would be funnier just on their own than with the goofy script. They’re presenting the award for sound editing; here are the noms:

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Randy Thom and Michael Silvers
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Christopher Scarabosio and Matthew Wood
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins

And the hardware goes to:

“The Bourne Ultimatum.” It’s good to see this movie get an award, even if as an action-adventure-spy thriller, it obviously is too bourgeois to compete for an actual storytelling award. Well, to be fair, 2007 was a very competitive year.

9:06: Hooray, more with Seth and Jonah. Now, they’re giving the sound mixing award. Here are the options:

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter Kurland
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Randy Thom, Michael Semanick and Doc Kane
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate): Paul Massey, David Giammarco and Jim Stuebe
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Kevin O’Connell, Greg P. Russell and Peter J. Devlin

And hooray again, another award for “The Bourne Ultimatum.”

9:08: OK, I get it. It’s a round-number anniversary for the Oscars. But do we need a montage of all the past winners before every major award?

9:10: Forest Whitaker is introducing the clips for the best actress prize, and just the little tidbits we’re getting confirm that these are all amazing actresses. It’s such a tough field this year. Here are the noms:
Cate Blanchett in “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal)
Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)
Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse)
Laura Linney in “The Savages” (Fox Searchlight)
Ellen Page in “Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)

And the winner is:

Marion Cotillard for “La Vie en Rose.”

Wow, this is probably the first real upset of the night, although she certainly earned it. She was the engine that drove that movie. But Julie Christie seemed like a sentimental favorite, and her performance also was just heartbreaking.

Is it just me or did Cate Blanchett seem more excited than Marion did when the news was announced? But Marion let the joy spill over with her acceptance speech: “Thank you life, thank you love. It is true there is some angels in this city.” She is beautiful and those are beautiful sentiments.

9:19: Hollywood insists that Colin Farrell be associated with everything related to Ireland, so he is introducing Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard performing “Falling Slowly” from their movie “Once.” It is the fourth nom for original song, and my absolute favorite.

9:21: Wow, Glen and Marketa are even better live. Sorry Kristin Chenoweth, but all the fancy production values of the other performances can’t hold a candle to these two consummate musicians playing an old guitar and a grand piano together. Breathtaking. Highlight of the show so far.

9:23: Jack finally took his sunglasses off, and he’s giving a half-hearted intro of yet another montage. Actually, this one is pretty good and sort of useful. It’s just showing a quick clip from all the best picture winners in Oscar history, with some fine orchestral music. (No Celine Dion or windy acceptance speeches, thanks very much.) So it’s kind of nice.

9:25: Of course, they’re not going to actually give that award right now. They’re just reminding you that there is a light at the end of this very loooong tunnel.

Anyway, Renee Zellwegger, looking elegant as usual in sparkling silver, with the incredibly diverse nominees for film editing:

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Christopher Rouse
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Juliette Welfling
“Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment): Jay Cassidy
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Dylan Tichenor

And the winner is:

“The Bourne Ultimatum.” According to my count, it is now leading the winners. Maybe good movies do finish first, even if they are actioners.

9:30: Nicole Kidman — I’m loving her black dress with all the long sparkling necklaces — is to present the Honorary Oscar, which is going to 98-year-old Robert Boyle, a production designer on many great movies such as “The Birds” and “North by Northwest.” Great line from Boyle (I should look as young as him at 98): “That’s the good part of getting old; I don’t recommend the other.” But he just demonstrated some other advantages, besides awards, to becoming aged: He’s been around so long that he gets to refer to Alfred Hitchcock as “Hitch.” Plus, you don’t hear that annoying get-off-the-stage music forcing him to wrap up his ramblings, do you?

9:42: Penelope Cruz, apparently because she is beautiful and not from America, is introducing the foreign language film nominees. There should be a separate Oscar awarded to anyone who can explain how these five films were chosen as the nominees in 100 words or less. The winner should get their own Oscar, swag bag, custom-made Versace outfit and $1 million.

Anyway, “Lust, Caution,” and “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” aren’t on the list, but here are the noms (none of which I’ve ever seen):

“Beaufort” Israel
“The Counterfeiters” Austria
“Katyn” Poland
“Mongol” Kazakhstan
“12″ Russia

The winner: “The Counterfeiters,” Austria

9:47: Patrick Dempsey is prepping us for the performance of the fifth song nominee and third from his movie “Enchanted.” It’s called “So Close,” and singer-songwriter Jon McLaughlin is crooning it. He’s doing a great job, and this is fantastic exposure for an up-and-coming singer of his caliber. I recommend his album “Indiana” if you’re into the singer-songwriter sound.

9:49: Now, John Travolta is announcing the best song noms and winner. Hey Academy, why don’t you just rub it in that the effervescent remake of “Hairspray” got completely snubbed?

Here’s the song noms:

“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
“Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
“Raise It Up” from “August Rush” (Warner Bros.): Music and Lyric by Jamal Joseph, Charles Mack and Tevin Thomas
“So Close” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
“That’s How You Know” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

And the winner is: “Falling Slowly.”

YES! OK, I just screamed for joy. Anyone else can win from here on out. I’m happy.

Glen Hansard’s acceptance speech was really ebullient and sincere and not very long, so c’mon Oscar producers, could you not give Marketa Irglova two seconds to thank her mom or something? Good grief. It’s a four-hour ceremony. Cut out the crap about male menopause that Steven Spielberg is currently spewing and give her a chance to bask a bit.

9:57: Way to go, Oscar producers and Jon Stewart. They just came back from commercial and let Marketa give her acceptance speech. It was very inspiring, with her encouraging struggling artists to dare to dream. Fair play to the Oscars for letting her have her moment. Very classy of them.

9:59: Apparently, the sudden realization that she’s wearing a bedsheet has tongue-tied Cameron Diaz because she can’t say “cinematography.” But she’s going to give the award to one of these folks:

“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.): Roger Deakins
“Atonement” (Focus Features): Seamus McGarvey
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Janusz Kaminski
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit

And the winner is: Robert Elswit of “There Will Be Blood.” It’s his first Oscar, coming off his second nom. And I’m betting more people from that movie make it to the podium tonight.

10:02: As the Monty Python boys say, “Bring out your dead.” Here’s the in memoriam montage, featuring the directors, actors and other movie makers who died in the past year. Several of them never got a better view of the Oscars than I’ve got right now, but now that they’re dead, the Academy will give them their second or so in the sun.

10:07: Amy Adams, who earlier tonight showed her singing chops, introduces the noms for best original score. Here’s the list:

“Atonement” (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli
“The Kite Runner” (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics): Alberto Iglesias
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) James Newton Howard
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami

And the winner: Dario Marianelli, for that awesomely imaginative score for “Atonement,” which paired the sounds of an old typewriter with lushly romantic music. He was the favorite and certainly earned the prize.

10:12: As Jon just jokingly pointed out, it just ain’t the Oscars without a Tom Hanks appearance. He’s introducing a group of military men and women introducing the best documentary short noms via satellite from Bagdad. Here’s the list:

“Freeheld” A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth
“La Corona (The Crown)” A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production: Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega
“Salim Baba” A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
“Sari’s Mother” (Cinema Guild) A Daylight Factory Production: James Longley

The winner is: “Freeheld,” and the recipients are very excited to win with their first nom.

10:15: OK, I take it back. I’m not going to be happy about the winner of documentary feature film. That’s because the best doc made in 2007 – “The King of Kong” – isn’t nominated. Even though it was the best movie and story, one that got even my mother interested in classic video games, it didn’t get a nod, apparently because it doesn’t deal with an important social issue. “My Kid Could Paint That,” which only dealt with issues such as the meaning of art and the realities of children who make big bucks, isn’t recognized here either.

Anyway, here are the movies that are nominated:

“No End in Sight” (Magnolia Pictures) A Representational Pictures Production: Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
“Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience” (The Documentary Group) A Documentary Group Production: Richard E. Robbins
“Sicko” (Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company) A Dog Eat Dog Films Production: Michael Moore and Meghan O’Hara
“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
“War/Dance” (THINKFilm) A Shine Global and Fine Films Production: Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine

The winner: “Taxi to the Dark Side.” I think this one is a real surprise. “No End in Sight” seemed to be the clear favorite, but doesn’t get the statuette.

10:20: Question: If this is what’s known as the “Super Bowl for women,” why am I not seeing a bunch of really good or at least somewhat innovative new commercials? I wasn’t exactly on the edge of my seat to find out which person with a video camera and too much time on their hands created the winning Dove Cream Oil Body Wash ad.

And what does that mean anyway? The “Super Bowl for women”? I heard somewhere that 50 percent of the audience for the Super Bowl is women. Makes no sense.

Neither do most of these commercials, although I like hearing the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss track on the JC Penney ads.

10:24: Where’s Indy’s bullwhip when you need it? Did Jon really just say that Harrison Ford was either a movie star or a car dealership? Gag.

Anyway, the ever-handsome Harrison is presenting the best original screenplay award. Here are the choices:

“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
“Lars and the Real Girl” (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
“The Savages” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

And the winner is: Diablo Cody, “Juno.”

I love it that she won, because that script and movie just flat rock. Her speech was very gracious, and she even choked up at the end but held it together. But she does know she’s not a stripper any more, right? I mean, she was wearing a nearly see-through, short, leopard-print dress, with heart/skull and crossbone earrings bigger than my dining room chandelier. Class.

10:30: The queenly Helen Mirren is gliding onto the stage to introduce the best actor nominees. She looks wonderful in her ruby red gown with the jewel-encrusted sleeves.

Here are the best actor noms. They’re showing the clips now, and all of the performances are great. But I think only one guy has a shot among them:

George Clooney in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Tommy Lee Jones in “In the Valley of Elah” (Warner Independent)
Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises” (Focus Features)

The winner of the Oscar and the ultimate milkshake: Daniel Day-Lewis. I don’t even think the envelope was sealed on that one, it was so obvious. I love how gracious he was to give George Clooney a kiss on the cheek; any other year, and George would be holding that statue. Daniel is just so articulate and his performance so huge that you can’t not be pleased.

10:40: Surprise, surprise, surprise. The Oscar ceremony is running long. Who could have predicted such a thing?

10:41: I think this montage of directors getting their awards is an original and subtle way of telling us that the best director award is coming up. Here’s Martin Scorcese and the nominees:

“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel
“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Jason Reitman
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

The winner(s): Joel and Ethan Coen. Scorcese maybe tipped the hand by saying that the award would go to the artist or artists. But they were the favorites, and their stunningly bleak “No Country for Old Men” certainly is worthy of praise.

Ethan gives one of the best acceptance speeches  in Oscar history: “I don’t have much to add to what I said earlier: Thank you.”

10:45: Denzel Washington is at the podium to announce best picture. Even with his bald head and goatee (please tell me he’s wearing that look for a role, and not having a mid-life crisis, but he’s always great to look at.) Here are the best picture nominees:

“Atonement” (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production) A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

And it’s a good thing the Coen brothers didn’t go far because the winner is “No Country for Old Men.” I couldn’t take my eyes off it, and apparently, the Academy couldn’t, either. They deserve it not only for this movie but for their long, illustrious career.

10:48: Jon Stewart just told everyone to get home safe, so I guess that’s it. Just before my laptop battery scorched a hole through my jeans.

Stick around and I’ll post my Oscar scorecard in just a sec.

-BAM

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